Mats

Like fellow FlyerTalker TWAForever, I headed to Hawaii for spring break. My mother’s side of my family lives in Honolulu, so I try to head to the Aloha State whenever I can.

Choosing Delta
Having lost my Medallion status in February, I was considering a defection to another carrier. Continental seemed to be the best choice to Hawaii: real BusinessFirst, better seats, much better food, and a single connection at IAH. But this was to be a paid ticket and Delta offered a first class fare some $600 less than everyone else. The decision was therefore entirely due to price.

Perhaps the newly approved Northwest/Continental/Delta alliance will permit me to fly Continental next time around.

Clever Planning
I booked my ticket for 19 March, planning to depart three hours after my last final exam. I was sitting in one of my lectures when the professor said, “Just a reminder, our final exam will be on the 20th at 1:00.” Oops. So I had to call Delta and shell out $114 to change the outbound. Doh! I didn’t feel quite as stupid when I found out that my father had just shown up at CDG with a ticket for the wrong date. I guess it’s a genetic problem.

21 March Delta 761 CMH-ATL Seat 1D, MD-88
Typical of Delta’s staff at Columbus, the check-in agent didn’t utter a word; just a glare that said, “I hate you for checking a bag.” I then walked over to the InVision machine, where a TSA man held my boarding card until his colleague barked “clear!” He then wrote an “S” on my bag tag… a sneaky code that terrorists will never be able to decipher.

There were five document checks:
1. Get bag tag: boarding card and ID
2. Explosive screening for checked bag: boarding card and ID
3. Enter concourse: boarding card and ID
4. Enter metal detector: boarding card only
5. Boarding: boarding card only

It reminded me of when Homer Simpson attempts to identify inefficiencies at the nuclear power plant. There are three adjacent rooms at the plant: one marked “Coffee,” one marked “Cream,” and a third marked “Stirrers.”

The flight itself was very quick and uneventful. Due to cutbacks, the main cabin on this flight receives only “Fast Break” service; everything was available to drink up front.

21 March Delta 341 ATL-LAX Seat 1E, B767-400
Boarding required an ID. It was a fairly orderly process despite a completely full airplane (the largest in the Delta fleet, I believe.) The crew were bubbly and friendly. We took off for Los Angeles without delay.

I was dreading the evil goat cheese pizza I had experienced on an LAX-ATL flight in December. To my surprise, a real lunch was served:
I was so stunned to have an actual meal with a choice of entrees. The food was perfectly decent and the rolls were warm.

Now the bad news:

(Carfield, I hope you’re sitting down when you read this.)

Our chum, Leo Mullin, has chosen to eliminate hot meals on many long flights, including Atlanta-West Coast and flights to Hawaii. The main cabin will receive only a “SkyDeli” meal; first class will have only a cold snack. Yes, SkyDeli only from Salt Lake City to Honolulu. Delta is also removing another flight attendant from 767-400 flights.

Anyway, I spent the remainder of the quick flight watching a DVD of Notorious. I listened to a critic’s commentary, which opened my eyes to so many details I’d missed. It’s such a brilliant movie; how can you beat Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman?

My seat-mate was hopelessly irritating: rude to the flight attendants, bickering over his entrée choice, singing along to his walkman, and talking on his mobile phone during taxi and takeoff. There were several knowing glances between me and the flight attendants serving us. I let out a sigh of relief when I noted that he would not be continuing on to Honolulu.

We arrived in Los Angeles a bit early. Given the length of the stopover, I chose to walk around LAX for a while. There seemed to be more InVision machines than passengers. If only I’d bought stock in that company!

Upon return to Terminal 5, there was no line at security. It required only a boarding card and ID to enter the concourse, no further boarding card inspection. The metal detector guardian was friendly and inviting, commenting that I “just made it” through the detector. Considering I wasn’t carrying change, a watch, my wallet, and was wearing sneakers, the only metal objects were the zipper on my pants and the hinges in my eyeglasses!

21 March Delta 341 LAX-HNL Seat 1E, B767-400
Boarding was punctual and easy (again, ID required). The flight was again completely full: a number of standby ATL-HNL passengers found themselves stuck in Los Angeles.

A smiling new crew welcomed us back on board. My new seatmate, a fellow airplane junkie, provided great conversation.
Dinner was again the “real deal:”
The chicken was excellent; I couldn’t quite figure out the details of the sauce but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

I chatted at length with two of the cabin crew. We talked about some of the similarities between nurses and flight attendants. Airplanes, like hospitals, sometimes bring out the worst in people—we all had “war stories.” They agreed with me that the process of getting on a plane is now so daunting that passengers are more stressed-out than ever. Discussion also included Leo-initiated cutbacks. We all agreed that cutbacks can be cyclical; things may improve along with the economy and the market may be better if one of the majors (i.e. United) goes under. The purser shot us a look for chatting too long in the galley, so I had to sneak back to my seat.

We crossed over Maui and approached Honolulu from the north. I was just delighted to be back in Hawaii

As we were landing, one of the flight attendants gently massaged my shoulder and said, “It’s good to know we have passengers like you. Thanks for continuing to fly with us.”

Bags were surprisingly speedy for Honolulu. There was a lengthy wait for a taxi, but the whole ordeal was over in about 25 minutes.

As always, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Honolulu” were music to my ears.

Honolulu
Ahhhhhh. I was so happy to be in Hawaii and with my family. I savored the pleasures of the washing machine, the stocked refrigerator, and other pleasures of home.

It was a hard-earned trip. My previous two quarters of school marked a low-point in my life. I’m in a combined program to earn an RN and a MS to be a nurse practitioner. The idea of “graduate entry” nurse practitioners—those with no previous RN but significant health care experience and a bachelor’s degree—is relatively new to Ohio. Consequently, my classmates and I have met with a lot of hostility. One preceptor told me that my curriculum offends her and that this is a “women’s profession.” She then kicked me out.

I spent the past three months of clinical time on 12-hour shifts answering the phone a third-rate hospital and occasionally emptying bedpans or feeding “pureed toast” to the unresponsive. Of course I had to act like it was the most fabulous training I’d ever received. “You’re not taking out the trash,” the instructors would say, “You’re learning the geography of the hospital, interacting with the maintenance staff…”

Since I wore silly white scrubs and a “student nurse” ID tag, most people assumed I was a high school student. Only when necessary did I “spill the beans” and explain that I actually have a master’s from Yale.

Too bad my instructor felt threatened by my credentials. He required me to work an extra month answering the phone and described me as “intimidating and rude.” (In sharp contrast to my pharmacology professor who told me he wished I was in all of his classes because I was his best student ever.)

Columbus itself has not been my cup of tea either. Although it’s cheap to live here, it’s a far cry from my former residences in Melbourne, Boston, New York City, and New Haven. Consequently, Honolulu is on my “short list” of places to move after graduation (June of 2004). The other picks are Southern California or Washington DC.

At any rate, the Hawaiian sun, the sand, and tradewinds erased the barking nurses’ voices from my mind and re-focused my thoughts on the light at the end of the tunnel.

29 March Delta 196 HNL-LAX Seat 5E, B767-400
After sending my bag through the agricultural inspection x-ray, I headed over to the check-in kiosk. I then took my one checked bag over to a designated counter where a quiet agent scrutinized my driver’s license and sent my bag off. The TSA inspection took place “behind the scenes.”

The line at security took 20 minutes. A TSA man told everyone to take off their shoes, send their cell phones through the x-ray separately. Once I reached the x-ray, the agent told me I shouldn’t have taken off my shoes and told me to put them and my cell phone back in my bag. Nothing says “security” like complete disorganization and inconsistency.
There were four document checks in Honolulu.

1. Checked baggage: ID and boarding card
2. Enter concourse: ID and boarding card
3. Enter metal detector: ID and boarding card
4. Boarding: boarding card only

At the metal detector, the agent painstakingly wrote her initials on all of the boarding cards. No wonder the line was so long! Do we need to hire Homer to identify some of these inefficiencies?

I was amused to find an open hairdresser in the concourse. Do they use plastic scissors? But I was delighted that I was able to mail a few postcards. I thought mailboxes were strictly verboten in airports.

There was a huge mess around an Air Canada flight to Vancouver, but everything was quiet and in order at the Delta gates. Boarding was painless.

The crew on flight 196 were all in the “Hawaii 5-O” category, if you catch my drift. Although they appeared too matronly at first, they turned out to be gracious and pleasant. The woman who tended to my section was the perfect example of Delta hospitality: warm but unobtrusive.

Our taxi out to the reef runway was expeditious and we headed off for the Mainland. The captain advised us that turbulence was anticipated and reminded passengers to pay close attention the seatbelt sign. Of course nobody paid any attention to the seatbelt sign. Maybe they should make an “I really mean it” seatbelt sign as well.

Despite the bumpy ride, the crew provided a full lunch:
I inhaled the chicken; I guess I was pretty hungry. My seat mate and I both watched Die Another Day.

Later on, I asked for a cup of coffee. The flight attendant brewed a fresh pot and apologized that she ran out of cream. She came back with a mug decoratively topped with whipped cream accompanied by Biscoff cookies. Delta is going to make me fat!

The air eventually calmed and we landed at LAX on schedule. My bag was one of the first off the belt.

Westin Los Angeles International Airport
I chose to break up the trip home and Priceline myself a hotel room at LAX. It’s hard to complain about a $50 hotel room, but I’m not a big fan of the Westin.
The wait for the shuttle bus was endless.

I was looking forward to in-room internet access only to learn that this is available in “select rooms” only. My multiple attempts to obtain dial-up access failed (at $1.50 a pop for local calls.) So I caved and used the extortionately-priced “business center.” Of course the Ethernet connection didn’t work there either, so I had to call an 800 number and ask to have my money refunded.

The room itself was okay but not great. The paint was chipping, the floor stained, no remote control for the TV, etc. The TV featured arrival and departure information for TWA. A good channel to watch while in the “Stapleton” conference room on the second floor.

For breakfast, I consulted the “Guest Services Directory,” which suggested the Starbucks Coffee Cart “located in the lobby level.” I guess I should have read the invisible fine print that says, “Actual coffee cart does not exist.”

I decided that in the long run, it’s still easier to take advantage of a shower, a bed, and so forth—making the trip home a bit more bearable than an overnight three airport odyssey.

30 March Delta 1964 LAX-ATL Seat 10B, MD-11
As I approached the check-in kiosks, a Delta agent warmly announced, “Who can I help?” She tagged my bag and I was done in less than 20 seconds. There was no line at the InVision machine; the staff did not require me to wait nor did they ask for a boarding card. Security had the same issue as Honolulu: we were instructed to “Remove cell phones, laptops, and any electronic equipment.” When I got to the x-ray machine, the attendant gave me a lecture about how I “shouldn’t have taken anything out of my bag” because a “second screen” of my laptop was required. There was no “second screen.” It was like a Mr. Magoo movie.

There was more security fun at boarding, where many passengers were selected for “gate rape.” This is the first time I’ve come across gate screening in a long time. But I was lucky and stepped right on board.

The Atlanta-based crew were standoffish at first but became friendlier as they flight progressed and they got closer to home. They were dancing the tango in the galley!
Lunch consisted of:
I watched Adaptation on my in-seat video. It was definitely not edited for airline use.

The flight was a quick 3:40 and we landed in Atlanta (E-7) a bit early.

30 March Delta 1868 ATL-CMH Seat 4B, B757
Boarding was on the late side, which was unfortunate considering a very loud Texan woman was barking into her cell phone next to me.

I felt sorry for the gate agent who had to board a full 757 entirely on her own. She kept her cool and remained unerringly friendly to people with requests for seat changes for the hour-long flight. My assigned seat, 6B mysteriously switched to 4B when I boarded. This was aggravating because the reading lamp was broken in 4B.

Due to a problem with the airspeed indicator we waited at the gate for 50 minutes. Most passengers were understanding. I recalled the Birgenair and AeroPeru crashes of 1996, both of which involved airspeed indicator malfunctions in 757’s.

A Heineken eased my frustration with the delay and the broken reading light.

Once we arrived in Columbus, there was a 45-minute wait for bags because the door to the cargo hold was inoperable. Perhaps one of Leo Mullin’s cutback plans is to pawn off passenger bags or perhaps only empty the cargo hold on every second flight.

I took an outrageously overpriced taxi home. (I told my friend that she need not pick me up due to the late hour and subsequent delays.)

Summary
I took advantage of Delta’s first class service in the nick of time. Despite cutbacks in meal service, I’m continually impressed by Delta’s staff in flight and on the ground (excluding Columbus.) Many of the employees face lay-offs, pay cuts, dwindling pensions, and other stresses but they remain gracious, approachable, and kind.

The security situation is monstrous, but perhaps it will improve after our involvement in the Middle East subsides.

Like other FlyerTalkers, I'm "riding out the storm" with the airlines. I have my fingers crossed that some modicum of inflight service will eventually return, security will be less onerous, and we can all look forward to flying again.

As far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t get any better than watching James Bond, eating an ice cream sundae, 40,000 feet in the sky.




[This message has been edited by Mats (edited 04-02-2003).]

pallensf

- wonderful report, I have not flown Delta, but it sure sounds good to me...

Where did you live in Hawai'i? I too am a native of the islands...

Mahalo...

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Patrick A. Inouye, CMT
volunteer trip reports moderator

Mats

Mahalo Patrick,
I've actually never lived in Hawaii. But I've always had family in Waikiki.
-Mats.

dalbert

This is a stupid question but how are you affording First Class in college?

Otherwise great trip report and I was hungry reading your menus.

Mats

Dalbert,
It's not a stupid question at all!
Let's just say that I've been quite blessed in a financial sense and remarkably unblessed in other senses.
Also, this was actually an "A" class ticket: about 40 percent of the usual first class fare.
Mats.

[This message has been edited by Mats (edited 04-02-2003).]

izzik

There are a lot of yapping nurses in my hallway at work (a hospital).. sometimes I feel like I'm at a boarding school for loud, unforgiving housewives.

Perhaps this will serve as a lesson to you - shouldn't have left EPH!

RTW4

Great trip report . I have not flown DL for a long time. Food selection looks fine for the flight segments you have listed

NWseaflyer

Nice report. How are the seats on DL? I hear the 767 seats are very narrow up front. Is this true?

novicebutintertested

I have been reading posts for some time now, but have never actually posted anything of my own before.

Having said that, I am not sure this response belongs here. Matt how does one go about booking a certain type of fare class. For example, how did you book an "A" class ticket?

Otherwise great trip report!

Again, I apologize if this is not where my reponse belongs.

Mats

NWSeaFlyer,
I think the 767 seats are about the same as anyone else's. There is 60 inches of legroom in business class, substantially less in domestic first class. The 767-400 first class seats all have footrests and individual video.

Novicebutinterested,
The discounted first class fare showed up on Orbitz and the Delta web site. The fare code ("A") showed up on the ticket itself.
Both Northwest and Delta typically offer discounted first class from the Midwest to Hawaii. In this case, Continental, American, and United had fares several thousand dollars higher.

aisleorwindow

Let's see:
- First Class Travel
- Exotic Destination
- Sarcastic comments about "security"
- Dancing and massaging flight attendants
- Obnoxious cell phone users
- Ice cream
- Booze

Yup, this trip report has it all!! Thanks for posting!


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"I just wanna wish you good luck, we're all counting on you"
-Dr. Rumack

Seth

This is not true. CO does their BusinessFirst Service to Hawaii on 767-400's. The seats upfront are 2-1-2 with 55" of pitch. So there is a little less legroom than on BE, but a wider seat.


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Support our troops, not our president.
I am not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.

BizJet

I LOVE your trip reports! All of them! I remember all your Stockholm reports and other Hawaii reports and regular domestic reports. They are extremely well-written, entertaining, and memerable. Keep up the great work!

Regarding Delta to Hawaii in FC, though I haven't flown DL down there, I have flown the 767-400 a lot. The seats are all domestic FC, which is 40-inch pitch or perhaps slightly less. I assume Mats made a typo when he wrote 60 in pitch. The seats are quite narrow and legroom tight, but it's not that bad and miles above coach.

From my Trip Report and internet survey, the best product to HI is Continental followed by American. CO runs the full BF product with sleeper seats and international BC meal service. However, CO is very difficult to upgrade to, but they have relatively cheap discounted FC fares on their Hawaii runs. Next up is AA. They now run exclusively international BC planes, while slightly narrower than CO, they have same or more legroom. Much easier to upgrade to, and much better than anyone else but CO.

I went to Hawaii last week too (full report forthcoming) on United. Flew them for a multitude of reasons. 757 going down and 767 back up. Their product is the normal domestic F, roughly comparable to DL. Actually, the red-eye meal service was really lousy, but maybe so is everyone else (except AA/CO). Going down the plane was very festive, and very desolate coming back (a red-eye to DEN in a cramped 767 compounded with a 2-hour ground delay and aircraft swap in HNL in the middle of the night).

I LOVE Hawaii! I'm not that fond of HNL, but I've never left the Waikiki or downtown (Aloha Tower, Chinatown) area. I've never explored the rest of Oahu, like where real people live. But I stay a night in HNL, alwaysthe Royal Hawaiian, anyway. I just got back from the Big Island and loved it. While I didn't like the Hilton Waikoloa Village, I liked Kona and the island itself. Plus the volcano itself was incredible.

Here's to moving to Kona!

Mats

I should have been clearer:
When I said "60 inch pitch in business class" I was referring to Business Elite, which is not offered to Hawaii.

"Substantially less in first class" referred to domestic first, such as on the 767-400.

It's true that Continental's seats are wider up front on the 767, but they only offer business class on 767's, not domestic first class.

Thanks for all of your positive feedback. I'm glad I've been able to entertain you all (including one of you who used sit next to me in painful 3-hour lectures from an incomprehensible Italian cardiologist.)

[This message has been edited by Mats (edited 04-03-2003).]

izzik

http://www.emory.edu/WHSC/CARDIOLOGY/CVEC/viola3.jpg