When they really should have sacked the PR company...
Nov 27, 2007, 8:44 pm
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 142
When they really should have sacked the PR company...
It does surprise me, sometimes, how luxury hotels present themselves to the world... Sometimes the pitch, the brochure, or the website works; it's slick/seductive/enticing. Sometimes, by contrast, it's clear that the copy-writer should never, ever have been introduced to a thesaurus.
As is the case for Amanyara. In all seriousness, can anyone make head or tail of the follwing...?
(from http://www.amanresorts.com/home.aspx?id=466)
Now I do love Aman dearly, but really and truly, this is just daft. It gives the reader a headache, rather than relaxing her/him into the thought that paying $1750/night has got to be worth it... I'd almost prefer 'it was a dark and stormy night'. (A 'pitch' I think works rather well, by contrast, is the website for One Aldwych; http://www.onealdwych.com/.)
So what the most ridiculous (/cost-cutting/badly translated) self-presentation you've come from a luxury hotel? I'm sure you can top this...
(The 'serious' point here, I suppose, is one about managing the details, especially the often-forgotten ones - and how to present a real sense of exclusivity to potential guests without plunging into the depths of the thesaurus... Or going all Dubai on the poor reader, for that matter... lots of pictures of gold leaf, nonsense star ratings, and a general sense of sheikh, rattle and roll... Which'll never win my heart, for sure.)
As is the case for Amanyara. In all seriousness, can anyone make head or tail of the follwing...?
A tranquil breeze streaks cirrus across a cerulean sky above a warming beach that waits eternal, cradling pristine sand in its endless crescents as gentle laps of glassy blue rise back and forth in sweet caress. Amanyara sits blessed beside, taking nature’s timeless gifts within her island stride; resting open to the elements within her lines of eclectic tropical build she thanks her lucky stars, for nature has afforded her the greatest gift of all: an unspoilt location. It is here, beside Atlantic alabaster, on a sea of vivid turquoise, that Amanyara savours her exquisite pleasures.
Now I do love Aman dearly, but really and truly, this is just daft. It gives the reader a headache, rather than relaxing her/him into the thought that paying $1750/night has got to be worth it... I'd almost prefer 'it was a dark and stormy night'. (A 'pitch' I think works rather well, by contrast, is the website for One Aldwych; http://www.onealdwych.com/.)
So what the most ridiculous (/cost-cutting/badly translated) self-presentation you've come from a luxury hotel? I'm sure you can top this...
(The 'serious' point here, I suppose, is one about managing the details, especially the often-forgotten ones - and how to present a real sense of exclusivity to potential guests without plunging into the depths of the thesaurus... Or going all Dubai on the poor reader, for that matter... lots of pictures of gold leaf, nonsense star ratings, and a general sense of sheikh, rattle and roll... Which'll never win my heart, for sure.)
Nov 27, 2007, 9:08 pm
#2
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: IAD
Programs: UA, NW
Posts: 160
Quote:
A tranquil breeze streaks cirrus across a cerulean sky above a warming beach that waits eternal, cradling pristine sand in its endless crescents as gentle laps of glassy blue rise back and forth in sweet caress. Amanyara sits blessed beside, taking nature’s timeless gifts within her island stride; resting open to the elements within her lines of eclectic tropical build she thanks her lucky stars, for nature has afforded her the greatest gift of all: an unspoilt location. It is here, beside Atlantic alabaster, on a sea of vivid turquoise, that Amanyara savours her exquisite pleasures.
A tranquil breeze streaks cirrus across a cerulean sky above a warming beach that waits eternal, cradling pristine sand in its endless crescents as gentle laps of glassy blue rise back and forth in sweet caress. Amanyara sits blessed beside, taking nature’s timeless gifts within her island stride; resting open to the elements within her lines of eclectic tropical build she thanks her lucky stars, for nature has afforded her the greatest gift of all: an unspoilt location. It is here, beside Atlantic alabaster, on a sea of vivid turquoise, that Amanyara savours her exquisite pleasures.
(The 'serious' point here, I suppose, is one about managing the details, especially the often-forgotten ones - and how to present a real sense of exclusivity to potential guests without plunging into the depths of the thesaurus... Or going all Dubai on the poor reader, for that matter... lots of pictures of gold leaf, nonsense star ratings, and a general sense of sheikh, rattle and roll... Which'll never win my heart, for sure.)
Nov 27, 2007, 9:34 pm
#3
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: IAD/DCA
Posts: 31,797
first, very enjoyable post
i dont think ive ever been stopped cold by one of these descriptions. OTOH i dont read them very often
IMHO the most annoying thing is overly complex websites >
i agree the one aldwych intro (skippable ^) is fairly good.
big winner IMHO >
great ad
>
http://www.elite-travelerdigital.com...12/?pg=52&pm=2
although apparently its had some interesting digital work done
also re Amanyara, at least there are things like this >
http://flyertalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=755590
i dont think ive ever been stopped cold by one of these descriptions. OTOH i dont read them very often
IMHO the most annoying thing is overly complex websites >
[Winvian] takes a very long time for almost all page transitions, without regard to internet speed. its simply the delays caused by how long the transition animations are programmed to take. its ridiculous...its like having a 90 second intro that you cant skip...
big winner IMHO >
great ad
>http://www.elite-travelerdigital.com...12/?pg=52&pm=2
although apparently its had some interesting digital work done
also re Amanyara, at least there are things like this >
http://flyertalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=755590
Last edited by Kagehitokiri; Nov 28, 2007 at 2:25 am
Nov 27, 2007, 9:42 pm
#4
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: GNV which is not where we would like to be :)
Programs: ABP, Mr. Mom without the kids, Signor Mucci, DL PM, HH & Hyatt Diamond
Posts: 4,526
It reads as if someone used an online translation program to get the English version from what ever language the original text was written.