mdtony

Okay, so maybe it's because too many of my fellow male travellers have done something bad, but I gotta ask this.

You're bored, I'm bored. I say hello, how are you, just because I'm so glad that another human being is around who's in the same boat as me -- another business trip and I need to kill some time.

And you look at me like I'm some kind of psycho.

What's up with that? I'm so totally not trying to hook up with you. I see the wedding ring, and I'm not that kind of guy.

So is this just a defensive gesture you take since you've been harassed too many times?

TropicalFlyer

MDTony,

Maybe it's the way you are saying hello? I've had wonderful conversations with male seatmates and a couple have even become friends. I've also had the married men who talk to me on the flight and then ask me for a date even when they know I am married. Then there are the ill mannered men that I won't even go describe.

I just don't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch.

TF

Analise

Not everybody will give you the brush-off. I can understand the need just to say hello--especially when it seems that you spend most of your trip rushing around in and out of airports. There are months it seems I see more of Newark airport than I do my own apartment.

Don't give up on being friendly; we need travellers like you!

prala

i agree. friendly is good. "hello" "hi" or "how are you" is good. "hellllooooooo" is not.

Greeneyes

It's all in the tone of voice......I really like to talk to others travelers and welcome the general talk. But too often it goes personal.... Not too many people can carry a general conversation (at least that has been my luck). Keep it light, general and no personal space invasion and you will find many women welcome time passing conversation. Hope to talk to you on some future passing flight that has been cancelled, delayed or whatever...........

lulu3502001

For me it totally depends on the mood I'm in...sometimes, by the time I finally sit down in my seat, I don't want to talk to anyone...this is my time to chill out, read, catch up on sleep. So I don my '*****y' I don't want to talk to anyone face so that I will be left alone. Other times I've been happy to chat with my seat mate however... the times I have done so usually end up with a tacky pick up line. So, to agree with the others...one bad apple can spoil the whole bushel.

mdtony

Well, at least I know it's not just my fault.

Here's the thing. I'm always polite, I'm like, hello, how are you, my name's Tony, what's yours? This is so totally not accompanied by a glance down to look at, um, assets or anything.

I'll find those sleazy guys that are ruining it for the rest of us and smack them for you, okay?

In the meantime, when you're out there, just keep in mind that there are plenty of guys who are just, well, looking for a way to kill the boredom and who would love to carry on a conversation.

KC

I've found that most times I end up talking with someone it kind of starts more organically -- talking about the flight, the delay, the airline, the lack of leg room in coach, the irate passenger across the aisle, searching for a clean crossword puzzle in all the in-flight mags in the row, where you're from/going, etc., rather than with the more formal introduction, which might be interpreted as a more blatant pickup move.

That said, just read body language. Sometimes I don't want to talk to ANYONE, even the sweet non-threatening woman who could be my grandmother, and I'll probably give short replies and look very absorbed in my reading material. Most of the time, though, especially at the end of the week, my brain is fried and conversation is welcome.

jan_az

Now me - I talk to people everywhere, the grocery store, the dry cleaners, the lounge at the airport ( just last wk some guy in MOntreal fell in love with my pedicure - now that was different <g> ). But when I sit down in the seat of an airplane for any flight thats more than 2 hrs, I usually try to keep my distance. I don't think its a 'pick up ' fear - but more a 'trapped' feeling

CozumelJen

For me, it depends. I usually love to meet new people ahd chat but sometimes as already stated above, it gets too personal. For some reason I seem to meet the kind of people whose idea of having a conversation is peppering me with many personal questions, and this gets very uncomfortable. ("where do you work? for what company? what kind of company is that? where is it? what do you do there? where do you live? how long have you lived there? why did you move there?" and on and on may not SEEM personal, but delivered rapid-fire with no time for questions back from me, makes me feel as though I am being interrogated, and I may even SAY that I don't want to talk about work, I am on vacation, but it does not help anything, these type people seem immune to anything I might say and I wonder what their objective is.

But sometimes they don't care so much about me though as just having anyone to talk to, and I feel like land must feel when a lonely man who has been adrift at sea for months must feel when it is finally sighted! For example, earlier this year I was in the Houston PC for one of my two free visits, so really wanted to enjoy it, it had been a long and grueling day, and on TV was the premiere of a show I had been waiting for months to see. This bored, arrogant guy also in the room could not stop talking to another woman there. When she left he started on me, telling me who he was, that he was an investment banker, blah blah blah and when I could get a word in, I tried to say that I had been waiting to see this show ... it didn't even register with him and I had to get up and leave! I was really annoyed that I could not enjoy the show, but felt it would be so rude to ignore him, why did he not think he was being rude?

Finally, I had a disgusting experience a few months ago on Continental Express with a male passenger. He boarded the plane very upset about a cancellation or something and I started talking to him to try to calm him down. My fault. It came up that he was from a country that I don't know much about and I mentioned that I did not really know where it was. Next thing I knew, he had moved into the seat next to me, trapping me against the window, and under the guise of pointing out his country on the map in the in-flight magazine, started touching my legs, up against the side of my chest and so on! It was very crude and I did not know what to do. I should have just gotten up and moved. I was so shocked at this that I ended up just squirming away. Now I wonder why I didn't just say something or get up and move but in the situation it is hard. Despite my constant mention of my boyfriend, I think that this man had no experience with American women other than what he might see in movies.

So when you speak to women travelers, I would say just keep in mind that we probably do not mind having conversations, but things like this are probably too common. Just be relaxed and let the conversation go where it will and make sure there is give and take in the conversation. Some original questions or comments are good too! I travel so much and meet so many people that the same questions get so old ...

mdtony

I call those people Joe Fridays. It's like, uh, hello, would you mind if I got a word in here? What is this, a conversation, or an interrogation by the police?

So I totally understand. And as for the rest of your story, that guy should never, ever, ever set foot in this country again. What a sleazeball!

As for the investment banker, I think he might be a hell of a lot more humble now that the market's tanked and nobody's doing any mergers.

SammyN

I too like an occasional conversation with a seatmate on a flight.

However, I respect the person's privacy if they choose not to want to converse.

I will greet the person pleasantly and say hello. Based upon their response and body language, I will then know whether they want to be left alone or not. Just because you are seated next to someone for a flight does not obligate them to entertain you throughout the flight. This is one of the things I hate most about being seated next to someone who travels infrequently... this isn't a blind date - it is transportation.

TravelWeary

This is priceless!!