I know a person of girth who does better in fitting into an aisle E+ seat (non-exit-row) than in a middle seat in 2-4-2 C, for example. He can lift the armrest on the aisle and have more space. Window seats don't work for him, and exit row, forget it because of the fixed armrest.

I had the "embarrassing upgrade situation" once when I was still in the Reserves. Leaving out of a small airport (Jacksonville, NC) after our annual two week training most of the unit was on the same flight. I had been auto-upgraded and so I decided to wait until the end of boarding so I wouldn't get stared at as everyone else boarded. I noticed one of the other guys looking sheepishly around and figured he was doing the same so I asked and he said yes. It worked for the most part, I did get a few jabs when we deplaned, but nothing too bad. The two of us who had been upgraded decided not to order any drinks even though we were technically no longer "on duty".

Wow, what a horrible, entitled, execrable excuse for a human being.

Ditto here, as well as lounge access, and where possible and we're on the same itinerary I try to get them companion upgrades. And often it comes with free consulting / "mileage makeover" and advice about how to travel. Ditto hotels, where I get them free drinks, breakfasts, invite them into club, etc. Net result is a reputation where people want to travel with me ... instead of resenting, they appreciate that I "spread the wealth" and, perhaps more usefully, spread the knowledge. Puts me in a "go-to" situation for anyone traveling to, pretty much, anywhere.

For a 1-2 hour flight on an E170, I prefer 7D over any row 1 seat. I'm thin and tall, so the extra legroom in row 7 is better for me than the extra width, and greatly reduced legroom and absent underseat storage in row 1.

Once upon a time there was a switch on each leg on the UA website to disable upgrades.

Doing a pax-to-pax swap of your upgraded seat will annoy the FAs - and the person who is next on the list for upgrade who should get it if you turn down yours!

Fly AA. You'll never have to worry about being upgraded.

When the I first became a 1K (many years ago), I faced this same battle. The "big deal" part of it was that I worked for a not-for-profit and they were (justifiably) strict: "thou shalt fly every one of your 230,000 BIS miles in Economy. The reasoning was sound. What if one of our donors/supporters sees you in First? If they don't understand how that might happen at no cost, we are going to lose that donor.

Since then - new job - I have come to realize that I usually - with some exceptions (r/t on UA1 last week), I would prefer to be in Economy. One part of it is that I order special meals (a standing order of 40 years). If I get upgraded,my special meal is unavailable to me. My only choices (menu) are outside the diet I have chosen. (Admittedly my problem and no one else's.) I can prepare for this with advance notice. I also have a preference to journey through life in the smallest way possible. (Discussion for another day.) That means "no "service" that I don't need. Or, more rudely, "leave me alone".

But, back on-topic, I never did find a way off the auto-upgrade list.

dwagent -- if your issue is health-related, and if the first/business class seats can't accommodate you, your situation should be covered under the Air Carrier Access Act and its implementing regulations which (among other things) prohibits a customer from requesting an accommodation that requires seating in a cabin other than that which they purchased.

Ironically, that provision -- typically viewed as protecting airlines -- may actually protect you in this case. Again, this would only apply to certain situations, and I strongly urge you not to post your specific medical condition in a public forum but rather to try and work it out with the airline and, if that fails, to contact a competent attorney. There are several public advocacy organizations in the U.S. for persons with disabilities, some of whom do focus on air travel-related issues as part of their portfolios.

While your situation may be uncommon, that does not reduce your entitlement to protection by receiving a seat in the cabin you purchased on the same basis as other flyers. Which, it sounds like, it what you're basically going for.

I've refused upgrades twice in the past year. It's always on an ERJ175 and the last seat in F is a bulkhead window (1A or 1D). I'm booked in 10C and have the other 2 seats in that E+ section open next to me. I don't eat the meal they serve, and prefer the aisle and have even more space in E+ than I would crammed into the bulkhead in F. I can't stretch my legs out and have to climb over someone to use the bathroom.... so I just politely tell the GA to put me back and pass the upgrade on to the next person in line. They're usually quite happy, though it confuses the GA's. :)

Some examples from my experience:

• You're flying out in winter, and they put you up from 10A to 1F, which is so cold with the door open that you might as well ride with Mitt Romney's dog up on the roof.
• You're flying with a co-worker, and although 22B isn't lovely, you want to be with them to work, or chat, etc
• The offer is row 1, which means stashing your laptop in the overhead and then having to get up to retrieve it instead of just pulling it out of the underseat space.
• You're a flight sleeper, that is to say, you are asleep before the wheels leave the ground.
• You're a smaller sized person, and 38" seat pitch is just fine.
• You walked past the F pax on the way to your seat, and you concluded (prejudicially, of course) that the empty seat next to the dude with the hairy chest, silk shirt and pinky ring, whose already on his second drink, is nowhere you want to be for the next three hours.
• You like the look of barely suppressed rage and confusion on the FA's part when they come to your seat with your F boarding pass and you say "thanks, but no".

Just a few. It's not as wacky a decision as some might think.

We are humans and we envy what is perceived to be luxury (and we all know it is not).
You had all the rights to do what you did but I second vsevolod4 here.
Whenever possible I provide my colleagues with "the chance of their lifetime".
The vast majority of times this is worth it.

Ulxima

In fairness, I didn't realize she was on my flight until we saw each other at the gate. At that point the best I could offer is letting her board with me in group 1, which she refused.

My first guess is that you may be flying on the public's dollar (i.e. government employee) and want to avoid any possible public backlash from flying up front.
You may have answered your own question. Looks like you'll just have to call the airline every time you're flying except when you're traveling at your own expense.
Best of luck.

Aren't there special government fares that are simply ineligible for upgrades?

I remove myself from the upgrade list every time I am flying with my wife, but otherwise I try for every CPU I can get on work travel. The occasional upgrade is a small consolation prize for spending a great deal of my life crammed in a metal tube.

My wife and I rarely fly together for various reasons... but when we do, I'm always glad to get the CPU. She and I will then generally alternate who gets to sit there. We have been married long enough to where we are ok with sitting apart for an hour. :)