DJ Bitterbarn

Prologue:

As the season approaches that some places in the world call summer, thoughts usually turn to one of two things: sun and conference season. In my case, neither of those two things materialized in lieu of thesis writing in Ireland; a situation where neither conferences nor sun abound, despite a brilliant effort on the part of Cork's weather to produce some sun. Luckily, my better half had the opportunity to get herself into a conference in Sweden. To this, we decided to do what we always do when one of us has a conference: we rolled it into a holiday. As she hadn't been home in a few months, we decided that we'd schedule her return flight through Berlin, meet up there, and then come back via POZ after a few days off. Plus, since I'd be travelling out on my own, I'd be able (as anyone who's ever read one of my TRs before) to route however I'd like. This time, I thought I'd give the magical, mysterious LHR-TXL BD/LH codeshare a try, and see who'd actually take responsibility for it. Plus, it would be a day after the big *A move to T1, so I'd get to see how the terminal can accommodate the larger passenger numbers that the T2 gang would bring over. So after sorting all the bookings and making sure we were organized to meet, she headed off to her conference and I'd follow a few days later... the long way.

Part 1: ORK-DUB on IrishRail
Part 2: DUB-LHR on BD
Part 3: LHR-TXL on BD/LH and Number One Heathrow
Part 4: TXL-SXF-POZ on PKP
Part 5: POZ-ORK on W6

Apologies in advance for any picture issues. Picasa rarely likes me posting on FT it seems, but it really is great for photos.

DJ Bitterbarn

Part 1: ORK-DUB on IrishRail
or: The most productive part of my day

While I've been more or less stuck with EI for the last little while, Irish Rail has recently dropped the prices for their Cork-Dublin daytime services to €20 O/W, meaning it's suddenly not such a bad idea to take the train up to Dublin and connect that way, especially if I can avoid paying the baggage overage charges on EI to LHR by going with *A. The benefit of the low-cpm 500 miles to Aeroplan also helps quite a bit in making this decision. And if it's just me flying, then there's really no question where I'm going to go. So I diverted from my normal evening flights out of ORK and took the afternoon off to hop a train to Dublin.

Thankfully, Cork is fantastically easy to get around, even during midday, but with two big bags to carry I started walking to the station with the intetion of flagging down the first cab I found. It was more or less halfway there before I found a free cab, but it did save a few minutes on the way to the station. I still made it there with time to spare, however, and got my prebooked seat 5. With seat 6, these are the only seats with a power port in the standard coaches.



Irish Rail from Cork to Dublin: Showing up early meant that I was the first on the train, although it remained pretty empty all the way to Limerick Junction.



Seat 1 on the Intercity. Note: Seat 5 and 6 are the only ones which have a power port in standard class, as well as being nearest the luggage rack. Book accordingly.

The coach remained fairly empty all the way up to Dublin, with quite a few people boarding at Macroom and Limerick Junction, but nobody took any of the seats around me so I was able to get some space to work and catch up on some shows I've been meaning to see. Oddly, the combination was strangely productive for work and I was able to get through a huge pile of thesis corrections, as well as fixing some issues I'd been having with a few device models. If anything, it was the most productive three hours of my week, although it was soon time to pack up as we pulled into Heuston. The only thing that had changed since I was last there was the addition of the ticket-validation machines (which incidentally did not work to let me out anyway, however they had a staff member on hand to anticipate this failure and let us out).

On the outside, though Dublin has managed to sync their train arrivals and bus schedules relatively well, and bus 748 to the airport was sitting outside the station waiting for us and in less than half an hour we were up at the airport, where T2 has progressed quite a bit since I'd last been through. The roads are now much more aligned like they will eventually be, although it's not quite there. T2 is progressing along really nicely, and it will certainly be interesting to give it a try once everything's finished next year.



Arriving at DUB on the Dublin Bus Airlink service. New T2 construction is everywhere these days

Thoughts on the trip: I really do enjoy the train in Ireland, especially since they upgraded the coaches. While it's not nearly as convenient as RE up to DUB, the new fares make it a really viable alternative to the bus. Reading a few Irish railroad forums also helped when determining where to sit, as having a power plug on seats 5 and 6 was a great advantage, especially with a laptop that doesn't have a fantastic battery life. Still my strong second choice for going up to Dublin, if RE isn't having a seat sale that day.

Next Time: DUB-LHR on BD

DJ Bitterbarn

Part 2: DUB-LHR on BD
or: That is a very large hat.

Back over in T1, I cut through Arrivals to the far side of the hall knowing that there were likely a few thousand people wandering about aimlessly up in departures and blocking the way across the room. The far side excalators in arrivals, though, led straight to the BD checkin desks and the limited people that are ever down at this side. Checkin was its usual self: not terribly quick but not like the massive charter and FR queues over on the other side of the hall. Only one loud tourist cut in front this time, but as I was hours early it wasn't an issue... much. I had already printed my boarding passes earlier, so I only had bags to check in. Once those were out of the way, I meandered down to the far checkin where the massive FR crowds hadn't realized there was a second security screening area and breezed through as usual. But as there was quite some time left and the BD lounge isn't exactly renowned for its catering, I ran down to check out the new extension to T1 which features another Starbucks, Caviar House, a few empty shops, a few touristy shops, and a Burger King. Sometimes, a Burger King is acceptable. Conveniently, one of the open seats was next to the windows allowing for some potentially excellent spotting. I say potentially, as all I saw was basically the usual EI and FR birds, and a few RE ATRs (which will start off the next report, when I get around to flying/writing it). A quick stop at the Guinness store and some chocolates, and I headed back down "The Street", if they even still call it that.


The extension to Pier A at DUB T1. New, bright, and spacious, although not terribly novel. It's got a burger king... I guess.



Pier E Construction at DUB

After some wandering down to the very quiet Pier C to check out the progress on Pier E and T2, I finally decided to head back up to the BD lounge and relax with more catching up on shows and some coffee. The lounge slowly filled up as the clock ticked down to departure, with eventually all the seats around the edge of the room were taken, with more people at the tables in the centre of the room. While I normally don't like taking up a whole set of chairs myself (and the room really forces you to, if you want something comfortable), I took the only seat with a power port nearby to charge up my netbook for the flight while watching some more shows I wanted to get through.



Yet another shot of the BD Diamond Club lounge at DUB. After taking this shot the lounge filled up quite a bit, making further pictures difficult.


DUB-LHR
BD132
Airbus A320-232, G-MIDS
Seat: 5D? Or maybe not?
Load: Pretty full...


Seeing as I'd been in the lounge for a while, I took a slow wander down to the gate as boarding was theoretically happening, although without a plane at the gate. Somehow, the "go to gate" nonsense prevalent at Heathrow has found its way over the channel and is now firmly entrenched in DUB. Thankfully, the majority of flights from DUB have already left at this time of the evening save for the one flight to AUH which was waiting for a few passengers who didn't seem to be anywhere near ready to arrive. Eventually they had to offload some bags, at probably a significant cost to the departure time. After what seemed to be quite some time, our gate showed some signs of life and the flight from LHR arrived. Turnaround was relatively quick, probably less than 20 minutes, and soon boarding began. Once again, the staff at DUB managed to skip any sort of *A or J boarding call and just headed straight to the scrum. Thankfully, what with it being BD, I had a nice aisle seat at the very front of the Y cabin so any attempts to fight the line would just have been silly.



My ride to LHR, G-MIDS, with Pier E in the background

After letting the crowd die down a bit, I boarded to discover that there was an issue with my seat. Apparently the girl in 5K was attempting to take a very large hat home, and despite being allowed on the flight with a flimsy hatbox that was at least the size of two small children, was being told that she would have to find a way to secure it in a seat or have it checked at great personal injury to the hat. As I generally don't even like aisle seats, I gladly offered to give up my seat for her hatbox on the grateful assurance of the FA that I could pretty much sit anywhere I wanted once boarding was completed. While this didn't include the J seat I waited out boarding near, it did include the very nice exit row which nobody had thought to snag yet. So with my newfound acres of legroom and a great view of the EY A330 to our left, I sat back to relax away the flight.


Legroom in the emergency exit row. Why nobody was already sitting here will forever remain a mystery to me

Once the ATC had managed to organize all the FR flights meandering around the place, we were able to take off via the only remaining runway in DUB, shortly after the EY flight finally managed to start its way to AUH. The roll took us back around to head down to LHR and before too long we were at cruising altitude. The usual beverage/food run was made, but as usual I took a pass. Instead, I just opened up the laptop and got a bit of work done on the way. As nobody ever did sit in my row, there was plenty of room to spread out for quite a relaxing flight.



This is possibly the best approach I've ever had over London.



Engine views on the way down to 27L

As we we eventually landed on 27L, it meant we needed to make a wide turn around to approach from the right direction, involving a very nice view of London just after sunset while it was still bright enough to see things. We then came down for a relatively smooth landing on 27L and pulled in to T1 on time. Bags took slightly longer than normal to come out, but long enough for me to become thoroughly frustrated with the VBITs who not only blocked the belt, but then stood around after their bags had appeared, apparently waiting for more? Thankfully, mine showed up and, although it was quite a bit lighter than normal, frustration got the better and it made a large arc through the air as it came off the belt. Now I knew exactly how heavy it was and exactly whose head it was not going to connect with, but for a rather immature sense of self-satisfaction, I'll keep that secret between us.

Thankfully, once I had retrieved my bags through the crowd of slack-jawed hangers-on and their entourages, it was time to take a quick run through the new T1, post-amalgamation with the T2 gang. The pictures will come in Part 3, but suffice to say that it's still much, much nicer than it used to be, particularly with the huge new spaces and the very upped game by bmi. It was particularly impressive, but the whole tour would be for the next day.

Once the brief T1 tour was do something I thought I'd never do: head over to T2 willingly. Having realized that it was only a day since a large number of carriers pulled out, I assumed (rather astutely) that the majority of the other people at the airport overnight wouldn't be thinking to go to the newly-empty T2 to rest. And save for maybe two other people and a handful of cleaners and maintenance personnel, I was right. And in true T2 fashion, the singular publicly-accessible power port near a chair was taken. This was remedied after the guy using it abandoned it once his whatever was charged, and I was able to move over from the uncomfortable power plug. After a few hours of charging various devices and watching TV, it was time to take a walk around the T1,2,3 complex and eventually (very eventually) head back to T1 for checkin...

Thoughts on the Flight: While it's still not quite the magical First Row Of Y on BD where the Y seats are still J-configured but with reduced legroom, the exit rows are a fine way to get around Europe, particularly DUB-LHR. There's not much more to be said about therelatively short flight which resembled most other BD experiences to date barring a hatbox. The crew was friendly, but not overjoyed to be there, which isn't necessarily bad either. The new DUB extension is underwhelming, although still an improvement over the rest of the terminal what with the natural light aspect. It does add that important aspect of "food" to the airside that has been somewhat lacking (and anything in Pier B doesn't count). It's still an acceptable way in my books to get to LHR, however.

Next time: LHR-TXL on BD/LH and Number One Heathrow

DJ Bitterbarn

Part 3: LHR-TXL on BD/LH and Number One Heathrow
or: bmi: Better for the Bitterbarn

After a longer night than it felt, it was time to get checked in for this magical LHR-TXL codeshare, hoping to all hope that it would be possible to do via the BD ticket kiosk so there might be a chance of getting some Aeroplan miles. So heading up to the departures level I headed straight over to the new Premium checkin where the staff was just getting ready for the morning. As soon as I arrived someone came over and mentioned they were just getting ready and if I'd like to have a seat on the very comfortable-looking couches they'd be over as soon as they were able. While I was incredibly tempted to relax and enjoy the experience, I didn't actually know if I was able to check in at this desk so I just asked quickly if I was even in the right place before I went to sit down. Unfortunately, the BD codeshare to TXL is definitely handled through LH, so back over to Area K I had to go, with promises to come back soon to try out the new area.



The BD Premium Checkin. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to use it this time



The chairs certainly look a lot more comfortable than standing around

Arriving at Area K, there were a few lines for the early-morning intra-europe departures but it was otherwise still quiet. Although the area is certainly much less scenic than back when it was NZ it did look new and clean, and still had that new area smell. Unfortunately, the *G/First checkin area was much less home-y than the BD Premium checkin, with only a few chairs around the corner, presumably for people to relax? The whole thing seemed less smooth than the BD area, but with no actual F out of LHR on the LH group it seems odd to have that checkin anyway. Maybe in preparation for something? Anyway, as there was a bit of a lineup and I had all day to relax there, I let about three guys in suits with carry-on go ahead, as they were probably in a much bigger hurry than I was.



Area K, Formerly Area R, now in Lufthansa Group colours



The entrance to the new *G Checkin area in Area K. Apart from a few chairs, though, it's not really as nice as the new bmi premium checkin

The biggest advantage of the LH *G checkin, from what I can tell, is a faster route through security than even the already-faster Area K security. At 6am it's hard to tell how much of an advantage this is, but I was through in record time for even T1. This meant that I could then spend the maximum amount of time (barring letting three people ahead in the checkin line) at one of the lounges... fingers crossed for one over the other. So with good directions from FT in mind, I headed up to Number One to try my luck. The first impression is that it is quite a hike from the gates, but I like to walk so it's not an issue. It will be interesting to find out how they're planning on aligning the entrance when the terminal opens up, though.

At the door (and for some reason I forgot to take a picture of the very nice entrance), I had a chat with the three or four people standing in the seating area where we all determined that nobody knows what rule the LHR-TXL flight falls under. But since we were all having a great morning and it wasn't BD paying in the end, they said it was all fine and let me in to the very, very nice Number One Heathrow. First stop was the showers, as I'd just spent an evening in T2 and if my Christmas TR is anything to go by, I was sufficiently covered in asbestos enough to be flameproof.

Unfortunately, nobody knew exactly how the shower reservation system worked and the guy who did know was off getting new towels for the day. In a few minutes, though, he returned and got one of the cabanas opened up. Clearly, they did the same for these as for the *A lounge and just rebranded the old Terraces lounge, with the same fittings in the shower and everything. The upside to this is that they're very nice fittings. Although it's been a while between then and writing this paragraph, I do recall the music being rather relaxing as well.



The showers at Number One Heathrow. Since they're both renovated BA lounges, they're the same fixtures as at the T1 *G lounge, not that that's a bad thing

Post-shower, it was time to head back out, now with a new shirt but no photo in the system with which to confuse the staff who would be checking it. Now it was time to check out the AGA and see just what sort of food was available. While still not quite up to the food of the *A lounge, it certainly came close breakfast-wise and the coffee was excellent. The seating was decent enough, with cafeteria-style seating and a more bar-type area surrounding the central food station. Ideally I'll be able to check it out in future during lunch, but breakfast was certainly better than average and infinitely better than the BD offerings that I've seen so far across the system



Number One Heathrow: breakfast area, looking towards one of the larger seating areas with the entrance to the left and business centre to the right.



Number One Heathrow: The central food area, surrrounded by bar-style seats



Number One Heathrow: The new coffee makers



Number One Heathrow: Breakfast on the Aga.



Number One Heathrow: Soup on the Aga.

Between the food area and the main seating area, there's a sort of conference table where I assume some epic FT meetups might occur. As the lounge was still relatively empty, however, it was a mostly unused space which is more likely to be taken up by people eating than anything else. The fireplace is also located off to the side here, another nice touch that would go a long way in the winter, I suspect.



Number One Heathrow: Central seating, almost like a really public conference table.

Beyond the conference area is found the bar and seating area near the window. This is, in my opinion, where Number One absolutely shines. There are a number of seats facing the very large windows, combined with a few cabana-style chaise lounges that not only have a spectacular view of 9L, but both provide a little bit of privacy and a lot of sun, in the right conditions. The designers also thought to include a power port at every seat (although not the lounges) which is fantastic for those of us with netbooks and their smaller batteries.



Number One Heathrow: Cabana-style seats with a great view of 9L.

While I was working away on my second coffee of the morning, I plugged in and enjoyed the wifi while watching the morning arrivals on 9L. Sitting in the sun with a coffee and wifi is a good day in general, but especially fine when it's combined with a trip and some action in the scenery! With plenty of time before departure, it was also incredibly relaxing. During the time, though, one of the ladies on staff came by and noticed I'd finished with the coffee cup. Rather than just taking it away, though, we got to talking and she somehow convinced me that I should have another. While this was admittedly not a difficult feat on her part, she then insisted that I just stay there and she'd be right back. And sure enough, came back in no time with not only a coffee, but chocolate, a croissant, and jam. Now in all my albeit brief experience with this sort of travel, this is the first time anyone on staff has actually gone off and come back with coffee and breakfast (or anything, really) completely on their own accord. And it was in a way that I didn't feel guilty about it either. So after a quick chat, where she gave a quick tour of the new lounge, she had to get back to work and I got back to watching the landings on 9L and enjoying my second breakfast.


Number One Heathrow: The best view in the house, lounge chairs facing 9L with power ports and extra privacy.


AC 767 arriving on 27L

Eventually, it was getting near the time where I should be heading back to the terminal proper, but first I needed to stop off and check out the business centre. The few desks available were definitely suitable for work, with slightly more space than (as a best comparison) the business centres in YYZ. After a quick last e-mail check, I was off to find a small stuffed animal for my girlfriend's niece, as we had forgotten to take the one I picked up in YYZ over Christmas and it's still sitting in a drawer somewhere in the house (this would be the reason why I forgot to take it; it used to be on top of the TV). So keeping in the "I'm in London" theme, I picked her up a Paddington Bear at the shop down in the main shopping area who then became the trip mascot as per usual.

While the flight wasn't quite ready to board yet, I headed down to the *A lounge for a quick run through, yet another coffee, and just a comparison for old times' sake. Eventually the gate was called for the flight: all the way down at the end of the old pier past the now-very-closed SAA lounge with all the branding removed. There, sitting at the end of the pier, was my BD A319


My ride to TXL. Apparently a BD A319, G-DBCB.


LHR-TXL
BD3259
Airbus A319-131, G-DBCB
Seat: 11F
Load: Light


As usual, I was at the gate way too early. As much as I pretend it's not common, it is. So with nothing left to do but sit around and take pictures of the plane, I did. And unlike the average flight this one would be the case of one plane on the outside, and a totally different one inside. While the livery was very firmly BD, the cabin was completely LH, right down to the seats. I'd find this out shortly, however, as after a few minutes wait priority boarding was called and I was able to head down to learn about this strange feat of avionics. When I made it down to the cabin the legroom wasn't terrible, but certainly not the exit row that I had on the way in. The seat next to me would remain empty for the flight, I suspect due to the *G Seatblocking, but it was a light load so that probably had more to do with it.


Legroom on the A319.


G-DBCB: BD outside, LH inside

While waiting for boarding to finish, I got a good chance to look at the BD A330 next to us and the relatively sparse departures of the morning from T1. Soon, though, we were boarded and ready to head out to TXL, although personally I was much more interested in some sleep, of which I had been lacking lately. We made the quick taxi to 9R and took off, although it was around then that sleep got the better of me and I completely missed the LH "meal" service. I did wake up on approach, however, and managed to get a few pictures before we touched down in TXL.


On approach to TXL, landing at 26R

On the way in we passed a Polish TU-154, although I suspect they were on some other important business and wouldn't be able to drop us off in Poland.

Polish Government TU-154 at TXL


Arriving at TXL Terminal A, with AB at the gate now.

In true TXL fashion, customs was a breeze and my bags were the first off the carousel. Oh for the want of this German efficiency in YYZ. I don't recall anyone crowding the belt, however this was still early enough that there were still quite a few people were still stuck at immigration. However I wasn't planning on staying around to find out and with my very large yet light bags in hand, it was time to figure out how to get to the bus down to the Hauptbahnhof and out to SXF.

Thoughts on the new T1: The new T1 is fantastic compared to the old T1, and even with the arrival of the LH group from T2, it hasn't become substantially busier. There's no comparison to how it was back in the BA days. The new *A gold checkin isn't as impressive as the new BD business class checkin. The biggest question, though, is why there's a Lufthansa First checkin at a station that, if I'm not mistaken, has no F service from LH.

Airside, Number One Heathrow is definitely the nicest *A lounge at LHR so far. The food, staff, and views are all great and the atmosphere distinctly relaxed as compared to, say, the *A lounge at the other side of T1. I'm really regretting the end of the LHR-VCE service, as that's really my best bet to get out to Number One.

Thoughts on the Flight: For as mixed as the plane was, the service was distinctly LH. It was efficient with everything happening just as you'd expect. It's not quite up to LX standards, but pretty much spot on what I've seen from LH. Sleeping was comfortable enough, not quite LO, but better than average. I only hope that, while a good service, it doesn't find its way to the rest of the BD fleet any time soon.

Coming Up Next Time: More Polish Rail.

sobore

Nice Report. Thanks.

DJ Bitterbarn

Part 4: TXL-SXF-POZ on PKP
or: More polish train pictures

Another consistent thing about TXL is I've never had to wait very long for the bus into the city. This time, it was practically waiting for me to board before heading off. After a very uncomfortable few minutes standing around with the big bags, I managed to move back toward the bendy bit at the middle which was marginally more comfortable. Eventually we pulled up outside the Hauptbahnhof and in a few minutes the train to SXF departed.


Berlin Hauptbahnhof, about to board the SXF express.

Of course, the trip to SXF wouldn't be complete without forgetting to validate my ticket, requiring a mad dash out the door two stops on when a validation machine appeared, with bags, hoping to make it back in time before the train left. This was accomplished with tens of seconds to spare and in fifteen or so minutes we arrived in SXF, soon to be the new BER.


Arriving in SXF, but not to fly anywhere.


SXF Terminal D, conveniently with clear signage as to where I need to be for a pickup on Germanwings.


SXF Terminal D Arrivals. Not bad for a LCC/Charter terminal.

It was a good thing that everything fit together so well for this trip, as I arrived just to find out that the flight from ARN that I would be meeting had just landed. Any delays and I wouldn't have had enough time, it seems. While waiting, I contemplated a snack at the fast food place directly opposite arrivals, but instead spent the time watching what appeared to be a lady and her daughter walk out of arrivals and the turn around and attempt to go right back in. As most people on this board would suspect, it didn't go well. They were then directed off towards departures, and managed to make it back a few minutes later for another, still unsuccessful, go at it. I never did see what became of them, as my girlfriend arrived at that point and we headed back to the SXF express, stopping on the way for a dry sandwich.

After another run on the SXF express, we stopped at the Ostbahnhof for our train to Poznań, very glad to be leaving from here and not Lichtenberg. We grabbed some rather excellent desserts and picked up our tickets, as we had some time to waste. Since the sun was out, we spent some time enjoying that odd object and headed back to the platform, not before witnessing a great public toilet scam where one of the ubiquitous hangers-on at the station plugged up the coin slot at the turnstyle and then stood around collecting the change and opening the exit door for people. It was really only the smell that gave him away.


PKP Intercity: Berlin-Poznań

Leaving the guys to the expedient way we've previously seen them dealt with at the Ostbahnhof, we boarded the train for a few hour journey to Poznań. As expected, our seats were already taken by the time we boarded. No worry, however, as we just took two seats on the other side of the cabin. This is only notable since one of our compartmentmates was less than accommodating later on when he boarded. Oh well. The cabin was significantly nicer than the regional PKP service, the same cabin type where I spent a few interesting hours at Christmas time with an ex-lumberjack and a few litres of beer. This time the train was significantly faster and after some reading, working, and general relaxing we pulled into Poznań only a few minutes late. Our pickup arrived at POZ at approximately the same time. Again, those reading this forum regularly may already see the small fault with this plan: POZ commonly refers to the airport code. We took the train.


Arrived in Poznań


Paddington enjoying the evening sun at Poznań Głowny

Twenty odd minutes later, our ride arrived from POZ and we headed back to my girlfriend's friend's apartment for the night.

Thoughts on the trip: While it wasn't a sleep-deprived language-barrier-filled drinking tour with angry old men, the PKP service between Berlin and Poznań does make it easier to get to that part of Poland with *A. In that respect, I don't much mind it, although it would be great to see some daytime service to Pila, as that's actually much closer to where I want to be. I do suspect, though, that it's going to play a big part in my travel patterns for a while. When it's quiet, however, it's a very nice service that I'd rank above old IrishRail but below new IrishRail. The carriages are certainly in less repair, but the privacy factor certainly makes up for it.

Pictures from Poznań:

Stary Brawar in Poznań: Officially the nicest shopping centre I've ever seen, built inside a renovated brewery.


Interesting light fixtures in the Stary Browar, Poznań.


Upstairs garden connecting the two main buildings at the Stary Browar, Poznań


Outdoor rooftop cafe, Stary Browar, Poznań


What could make a pseudo-steampunk renovation of a brewery better? Well if the rooftop garden is directly under the flight path to POZ, of course!


One last shot of the Stary Browar, Poznań


Poznań tram system, frequently featuring amazing full-train ads for computer shops.

Next Time: A LCC to ORK and somehow we all live to tell the tale

DJ Bitterbarn

Part 5: POZ-ORK on W6
or: When in Rome...


SUN!

The biggest downside about ORK, to me, is that unless you're trying to go to one of four or five spanish resorts, you're almost better off to go to DUB. While this works shockingly well when I'm going it alone on the way out, coming back is another matter altogether. So somehow, after all the bookings were sorted, I found myself once again booking a one-way (plus extras) on a Low-Class Carrier. I use Low-Class here because it really wasn't that low-cost. While it was admittedly less than my trip out (two flights and two train journeys later), it was by no means the magical world of €1 tickets. It was roughly a third the cost of the four trips I took up to this point, roughly half the cost of the two flights, and I think I got a fairly good deal on it. If it weren't for ORK being such a one-trick pony, one could discount that factor altogether. I also don't mean to say that the people on the flight were some Lower Class of society. They might be otherwise very nice people, as far as I know, but there's something magical that happens to people in an airport where they lose all ability to think clearly, especially on a LCC. Given that, I was expecting is to get to the airport and see a three-ring circus of infrequent-traveller insanity and a LCC has never yet disappointed. For that I'll stick with my redefined acronym. But I figured as long as you're there, you may as well play ball....



Arriving back at POZ.


POZ terminal from the Arrivals-side exit


What the heck are all these people doing here? Do they actually have a lineup to check in?


Well of course it would be delayed

So after a drive out to the airport, we pulled in on the otherwise very lovely POZ. I've come to think of it as a bigger, one-floor ORK with better flights and cheaper duty-free. At this time of the day, it was also virtually empty save for a large group waiting at arrivals and the people checking in for our flight. Of course our flight was delayed but it wasn't cancelled, as has apparently happened too many times on WizzAir. So we checked that our bags were under 20kg (a limit which has since decreased to 15kg) and braved the checkin queue. Cultural observations to a minimum, it seemed the vast majority of people on the flight were Polish expats returning to ORK. I let my girlfriend handle checkin (as my polish is still fairly sub-par) but as usual it was uneventful. While I was convinced that we had an extra hour to kill due to the delay, it seemed they wanted us through security about a lifetime or so in advance. While we did have to have some time to get some duty-free, this was ridiculous. But we did it anyway.


Less than €100 return? That's better than the LCCs.


Schengen/Domestic departure lounge.

As soon as as they were finished making announcements to herd us through security too far in advance, the announcements began to get us through passport control too far in advance. This, of course, turned out to be much more hassle than it was worth as not only did the immigration officer decide to go through my passport page by page, he had to do it three times, repeatedly consulting some documentation while he did it. There was a question in Polish which I either answered correctly or completely incorrectly (either when did I arrive or when do I leave) and finally he determined that I was travelling legitimately so I was allowed to pass. Whether he did me a favour in trapping me in the non-schengen area, however, is questionable.



Non-Schengen Executive Lounge.... obviously closed.

This non-schengen area lounge was significantly more crowded than the rest of the airport, and it was only our flight waiting to board. What it did have featured, however, were very large windows out to the runway, although in the single room it was clear who the plane nerds were. It was me, the guy with the camera. Everyone else at the window was under eight, or with someone under eight. But looking like an airplane nerd aside, I still was able to grab a couple of shots of the two arrivals which weren't us, and some great sunset pictures.


Gate 7 in the Non-Schengen area.


Sunset at POZ


EuroLOT ATR-42-500, SP-EDA, arriving from WAW, presumably.


AMC Airlines 737-86N, SU-BPG arriving from HRG

Of course as I was pulling pictures off my camera so as to have some extra space for the flight, an official-looking pair of ladies walked past and stopped at gate 6. Immediately, the entire departure lounge bum-rushed the podium in a formation about as far from an orderly queue as you can get without resorting to stacking people on top of other people. I am not going to rule out the possibility that this did happen at some point and I missed seeing it. Of course, I still had a few seconds left on my file copy and didn't want to get up until it was finished, but then the spirit of the day got the better of me and I figured it could wait until I was standing in the mob to finish.

After about 10 minutes of standing around nervously, the bus arrived and the official-looking ladies seemed to start doing something involving boarding. After a few minutes of shuffling, people started clearly boarding the bus and an announcement about priority boarding was made. I highly doubt anyone listened. As the masses shuffled along, some even pushing through the crowd so that the plane wouldn't leave without them, we found ourselves stuck behind a mountain of a guy who, while he could have just demolished a path to the gate, decided instead to do his best impression of an immovable object. We instead stayed put. Eventually, the first bus pulled away and the atmosphere became even more charged. The plane might leave!

As we plowed our way to the front of the "queue", the second bus started to fill up. Fortunately, we had two advantages of experience on our side: firstly we knew that it was a bus, in which case you should crowd the doors of the bus to be the first ones off. Secondly, everybody rushes the front, so we were prepared to make a rush for the back stairs. So bearing this in mind, we bum-rushed the back steps as soon as the doors started to open and dashed up to find the back of the cabin relatively empty. Score! Pushing our way down the aisle, through a couple of slow-moving overhead storers, we found a free row with ample overhead space and settled in. It wouldn't stay empty, despite our best attempts to block the seat by taking too long to get something from the overhead (not long enough, though). Luckily, our rowmate would at least be quiet throughout the flight.


On board W6 543, as most people were seated for takeoff.

With boarding out of the way, the crew made a few announcements in English and Polish, barely comprehensible in either. The cabin lights were then dimmed, the guy in front of me reclined ever so subtly, and we took to the skies via 27 to the east. There was a bit of turbulence as we passed through some of the clouds, but we eventually levelled off for a smooth ride all the way to ORK. As soon as the seatbelt sign was off, I decided to make the most of this LCC experience and recline all the way back, something I normally try to avoid out of courtesy to whoever's behind me (plus I can sleep pretty much anywhere, so it's not a big deal). But since I could already clearly hear the techno she was blasting through her headset, even with my headphones on, we were already locked into a war of infringing on personal space anyway, so recline it is.

During the flight there was the obligatory buy-on-board run and a duty free run, but I can't give up a few things from FF-world and, recalling the £5 sawdust sandwich from my BD flight to BRU, I still won't buy on board... plus I had all the duty free I could carry. Physically.



Cabin shot during takeoff.


Somewhere over continental Europe

A bit more turbulence showed up as we descended into ORK, but the landing itself was quite smooth with just a bit of reverse thrust at the end. Not as good as the last LX landing at LHR, but not bad. For a while I thought we weren't going to clap for the landing, but everyone was just waiting, it seemed. Applause greeted our turn towards the airport, accompanied by more unintelligible announcements, although it was clear that given the large amount of traffic at this time of night (mostly aircraft based in ORK and one Europe Airpost 737) we'd be parking way down by the cargo hangars. Luckily it wasn't raining, so we'd be dry.


Landing at ORK in the midst of a whole mess of planes.

As expected, disembarking was a hurried affair, with everyone rushing as fast as they could to get off the plane. Of course, this would be the time to discover that our rowmate was also one of the most patient people on the plane who realized that it didn't matter when we got off. So we waited a bit before she collected her things and somehow found space in the aisle to merge into the stream of bodies. Eventually, there was the chance to do the same, and after plowing past a girl who wasn't moving fast enough (I assume she was looking for the rest of her clothes, as she was wildly underdressed) I made it off the plane to snap one of only a couple shots... only one of which worked.



The only decent shot of our ride all day.

But once off the plane, the LCC experience didn't stop. First I had the fortune to push through the queue at immigration to get to the non-eu queue, only to find it wasn't operational. But being nearer the front of the other one, we could just merge back into it and shave a few precious minutes off of whatever we've been pushing for all the way. Immigration was once again a breeze, what with it being ORK, and after not even needing to stamp my passport (take THAT, POZ immigration guy) it was finally time to do the last possible thing on the "irritating traveller checklist": needlessly crowd the baggage belt. In a way, it felt good to not care that I was directly in the way of a number of people trying to get at their bags. I even managed to pick a spot where I could be in front of other people who were already patiently waiting. I don't think that it made our bags come out any faster or made it any easier to get them (in a way, it was harder since I then had to stand around with one large bag while waiting for the next one), but it was interesting to do so nonetheless. Sadly, no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't possibly match the obtrusiveness of the people on the other side of the belt, impatiently lined up with their entire families and luggage carts pulled up right to the front of the belt beside them. Whereas I was only taking up maybe 300% of the room I needed to do my job, they were probably well over 3000%. It's disheartening that even in my best attempts, the rest of the crowd is still ten times more irritating.

My only real regret is that we didn't have someone meeting us at the airport so that as we slowly wandered two abreast down the arrivals walkway, they could come running in and we could all stop and share a heartwarming welcome home moment beside our heavy luggage cart, incidentally blocking the way for everyone else and forcing the whole airport to share in our joy until we were ready to allow them past again. I love it when people do that. But without anyone to welcome us home, we just headed out to the cab and back home.

Thoughts on the flight: Despite the LCC experience, I can't say anything against WizzAir. The plane was practically brand new, the crew was orders of magnitude friendlier than FR, and they got us from point A to point B with a minimum of hassle... for a LCC. Although I realize they've been hurting for new planes recently, causing huge problems and cancellations when one goes mechanical, nothing out of the ordinary happened on this run. An unexpected benefit of this flight, mostly due to my never flying directly, was the ability to stock up on duty-free Polish Vodka (of which we are quite fond at home but only get once every few months) and not have to worry about putting it into checked baggage, thus freeing that space up for more cheap, fantastic, liquid Polish specialties. It's almost like back in the day before the moisture war, he thought, staring off into space longingly for the days when his 22" rollaboard could have fit so much booze....

Anyhow, would I fly WizzAir again? Definitley, provided they were definitively the best option. This likely means POZ-ORK and little else. I'd certainly choose them over EI from SXF, and I'd actively travel to choose them over FR. But not if there's a comparably-priced route on *A. While it was a fantastic carrier for an LCC, the LCC experience in general is another story. Considering that what we experienced was essentially a slight discount on the cost of a discount economy ticket on any legacy carrier, the comparison falls to the experience and it's there that the LCC model fails for me.

Overall LCC/Legacy Broad, Sweeping Generalizations:
In my opinion, the overconcentration of infrequent fliers on almost every LCC I've experienced outweighs the frequently neglibable cost savings to be had. Without getting into whether or not the first C in LCC really stands for Cost, the irritating infrequent flier behaviours seem to be magnified without any of the perks of travelling on a legacy carrier such as assigned seating or the knowledge that if the flight is cancelled, you'll be protected on another. The only advantage over the airline alliance route is the single flight and reduced transit time, specifically due to ORK being such a middle-of-nowhere airport. Personally, the savings weren't worth the excess hassle but the transit time might be. Unfortunately for the LCCs (and my incredibly-patient GF), I love airports and if travelling alone will always choose the longer (or longest possible) route. Fortunately, this has frequently saved us large stacks of cash, as the LCC crowd doesn't realize how often they're actually paying much more by flying direct and will often miss an opportunity to connect on a legacy carrier for much less.

In short:
WizzAir = Very good for a LCC when they aren't cancelling your flight.
LCC Cost = Not that much lower than Legacy, if the routes are similar
LCC << *G
ORK badly needs some kind of a *A connection

So that ends the intra-europe trip for the summer, Sorry for the lack of J and interesting, backwoods connections, although I hope to make up for that in a month when we head back over to Canada where my AC SWUs might finally get SWUsed. So with that terrible pun, I'll thank everyone for reading, and hopefully you enjoyed the trip half as much as I did, even the LCC bits.