colpuck

So I decided to make a MR, over the first weekend in October to insure that I had status on a then up coming flight from ATL-AMS-MAD. This is the story.

The booking, getting it done.

Back in August I made the reservation for a 3-star fare on NW, HSV-MEM-MSP-LAX-DTW-MEM-HSV, 190 a/i. It was an ok deal, I wasn't too happy with getting only 50% EQMs on the trip. However, it was cheap and it served the purpose. So with this in mind I create "The Plan(tm)", I am based in ATL so I have to drive to HSV for my 4:00pm flight (appx. four hours) and I will drive back the following day after the red-eye.

Northwest's "changes to for your convenience" or I how I roll in F on CO's transcons

About two weeks after booking I received an e-mail from NW.com saying that they had changed my reservation for my "benefit" I put that in quotes because the e-mail that was sent to me had changed my return flight from the red-eye to the 8am flight the following morning. I am sorry, if I had a desire to overnight in LA I would, having done it before, I can say truthfully never again.

I post on the NWA FT board asking for advice, and I am sure there is a link, I just can't find it. (seriously, how many threads are the XXXX airline screwed up my reservation). The legions of NW fanboys politely suggested that I call NW reservations and find out what happened, and ask to report back. I call and discover that all red-eyes for that night were canceled. Do'h! The very polite TA offered to fly me on DL through ATL and CO through Houston. Uhhh I took the CO flight 100% EQM's baby. Oh, wait did I mention when NW booked me on CO it was on a Y fare, 150% EQM's baby and oh wait I was going to make silver before the flight and thus free automatic upgrade. What would Ali-G say Booyahkasha? "The Plan(tm) revised HSV-MEM-MSP-LAX-IAH-HSV

The first 4hrs of roadtrip, the throwdown at the hoedown

ipod? check. FM transmitter? check. Various audiobooks for my roadtriping pleasure? check. I leave from Atlanta at about 11:30 local time counting the hour gained by going from GA to AL, that gave me 5.5hrs to make the 4hr road trip from ATL-BHM-HSV.

So I am driving along happy as a clam in to Alabama and into the outskirts of Talladega, where I stop for lunch (chik-fil-a). If you haven't had the food of gods that is a chik-fil-a chicken sandwich with lettuce, tomato, and dab of mayo your life is not complete. As Ron Burgundy would say "If you don't it is the best food every I will fight you" and you better believe I will.

I noticed that as I was going through Talladega, there were a lot of people around and even more cops (becomes relevant later). Guess what, NASCAR race this weekend, underbar. Well the race would be on Sunday and I would driving home in the middle of it so I don't think at the time it would be a problem. I have a Tom Clancy book on and I am just cruising down the highway, at about 90.

Just after BHM, I decide to stop for gas and a bottle of water, at a middle of nowhere gas station. I however, in fact stop in the middle of a riot. I pump my gas and go into the station to see a well dressed 40ish man arguing with two hippies or punk rockers, hard to the difference sometimes. What what I gleaned between the "F you's" and the "I will fight you's" that one of the hippies had ashed on the older man's car (that's the knocked off burned ash of the cigarette, for you young urban professionals out there j/k). The older guy was pissed and really was about to take a swing at the hippie, and he was yelling and cussing up a storm.

After they left the store, I looked outside to see if the crew was going fight and I noticed the older guy get back into his BMW drop-top, with his young son in the passenger seat. I really could only think to myself "nice example you're setting for you kid, instead of talking about the evils of smoking and how one do uncool things, you almost start a fight, get arrested, and act like a jerk, class act.

HSV. best little airport in Alabama

Around 2pm local I arrive at HSV airport. I drop my car in long term parking 7$/day and I roll into the airport. The airport is built under a hotel for those needing a place to stay and was undergoing renovations. NWA's e-ticket machine was non-functioning, so I collect my BP's from the agent and hit the concourse (with all of its 12 gates) like a force of nature. Ok, it was just me and my laptop (free wi-fi yeahboy). It was Saturday on the first Sunday in October that means only one thing, Texas-OU game. I needed a TV and a beer like a fish needs water. Well I went the one airside bar and they were not showing the game; However, there was a "business lounge" that on that Saturday was abandoned, as such I had the whole TV to myself and I started watching "the game".

HSV-MEM, CRJ-does it matter??? and can you join the mile high club on it?

Well the flight was called and I boarded into a new and clean CRJ, NW new and clean who knew, for the 189mi flight to MEM. I was seated in 2C, next to a very attractive college student of the opposing gender. Now she did have a boyfriend, and yes I know boyfriends are temporary but then again so was the flight and even I, the Col, can only do so much in a CRJ before the police get called for public indecency. Someday I may tell you about the ATL-AMS flight ^^^. Props to the FA for serving 44 people drinks on a 40min flight.

MEM

We land in MEM, talk about a depressing airport, brown brick everywhere. I make a beeline for the country line BBQ and boy was it good. The people movers were a little scary, as the rubber floor had a lot of give to it. The Texas game was still on, though OU was up by seven. Texas would go on to lose the game by seven, but I wouldn't know that until I connected through IAH. I chatted up the GA's as I had a short connection in MSP and the TA in HSV had only given me one BP. I tried to fish for an EUA, but I was denied. They remarked on the insanity of my trip, as I am young and carry a messenger bag with my laptop in it, I just say I am a currier. The flight boarded late, because of missing crew.

MEM-MSP, 2hrs I will never fully remember A320

How dirty can a A320 be? The answer is very when flown by NW. Not much to say other than the service was ok, not great, but ok. Arrived about on-time in MSP though my connection was sufficiently close about 30min to merit concern. The Taxi took forever, the captain mentioned that MSP was down to just one runway so we all should expect delays.

MSP, a really nice airport.

Thankfully, my flight arrived in one of the piers and my LAX leg was just around the corner. I made my way to the counter to see about a F upgrade and score there be the upgrade. A very large man collected my exit row seat and the world was at peace for the moment.

Up until this point I had never been to MSP, and it seems like a really nice place to spend a layover. I was impressed with the made to order noodle bar. I would have tried it, if I was only hungry.

MSP-LAX love, loss, and pain on the flight to LA 757-200

My first love's father is a 757 pilot for NW and as I was boarding the NW plane I was wondering what I would say to him, if I saw him. Thankfully, he was not the pilot. (I actually think he is based out DTW, but does that really matter for assignments??).

I installed myself in my seat for my very first ride in F. I discovered my seat was broken and kept reclining, and the tray table kept digging into my back so for the last third of the flight I was in a great deal of pain. I had to keep bringing the seat up, sit leaning forward, and keep drinking to get through the flight. There was no IFE to speak of though it looked like there was at one point IFE installed on the plane. Upon arrival in LAX on of the FA's blocked the coach aisle to allow us firsties out the L2 door first.

LAX, yo boss it's an airport.

Ok, time to face reality, the NW terminal at LA is complete doo-doo. Ok maybe not complete doo-doo, it just smelled of doo-doo the whole time I was in there, to say nothing of the bathrooms...

As I am familiar with the lay out of LAX, I knew that the CO terminal was for the most part right across from the NW terminal and I walked over there, forsaking the terminal bus. The CO terminal was for the most part abandoned except for the Red-eye passengers.

LAX-IAH, from the weird to the weirder 757-300

I roll on to the 757-300 into my F seat, leather, ear-wings, pre-departure drink, all class. The guy sitting next to me starts doing these weird exercises, I guess they were his version of the in flight exercises recommended by the CO mag. He is sitting straight up, reading the COmag, and rapidly tapping his feet. Service was good, though the cheese plate was not very tasty looking in the middle of the night. On my way to the bathroom I tripped over the FA's shoe, with her foot still in it. Hey it was dark out and the black shoe just blended into the rubber floormat. This flight had two FA's in first so service was great. I got to sleep a little and arrived at IAH about on-time.

IAH, 281-330-8004, What's my name??

I was board I just road termalink until it was time to board, after updating flightmemory using stolen wireless from the PC at C terminal south.

IAH-HSV ERJ-135 It may be small but it is fierce.

To be honest I slept through this flight right up until landing. The only thing of note was that the GA allowed us to board while the cleaners were still on the plane. It is a 35 seat regional jet, that was half empty.

The main event running from the cops on my way back.

The ride back was the same as the ride to HSV but for stopping at a nameless burger stand for food as chik-fil-a is closed on Sundays. I drove past the Talladega race track on I-20 looked at the stands and they were packed. I assumed that all the cops would be at the race, I was wrong.

I was driving through the Talladega national forest at about 90, when I exited and came around a curve, there I saw the Alabama state policeman in an SUV just waiting. Now the race (no less epic for it's brevity) was on like Donkey Kong.

The rule with running from the cops is this, you have to lose the guy before he catches up with you, or you're done. I figured that I had about 30 seconds to make it to the next exit before I would see blue lights in the rear view. Thankfully the next exit was only about 20 sec away and around a curve. I was able to make it to the on-ramp and into a gas station before the cop got in behind me and got my plate number.

The cop did follow me up the ramp and pull into the same gas station as I did. He was plainly watching me as I decided to pump a little gas. In order to complete the ruse and keep from getting pulled over, I doubled back on the freeway to insure that I would not be getting a ticket.

I ditched the cop and made it back to Atlanta, without any further problems.

TravisMT81

awesome report, I love your writing style!

Kiwi Flyer

nice report colpuck ^

Gargoyle

A good run. What were your final EQM's for the trip?

DiscoPapa

Funny stuff, man!

nycatl

Colpuck,

Back then they didn't want you,
Now (after avoiding the cops) you're on top, they all on you
You are Mike Jones! Who! Mike Jones!

BiziBB

Sweet report, Mr Burgundy, oops, colpuck.

aSiAnRiCk

Interesting report

littl_flier

Great TR colpuck. ^

monitor

Great report colpuck but man, were you lucky. A few years ago I was in Jasper County, SC just above the GA line running about 80-85 from Charleston to Savannah in a small rented car.

As I hit a straight I saw the Statie facing me in the center mall and figured that if the gun was on that he had me dead but the road was curving and I was on a rise, so I knew that if he pulled out to make his U-turn and follow me, just like as with colpuck, he could not keep me in sight as I dropped off the rise.

Also, just as with colpuck, there was an exit no more than a few hundred yards away and I jumped off into the gas station and started pumping. That worked absolutely not at all 'cause when the SC trooper pulled into the station, he came right over to me, told me that he had me on the radar at 80, and that he was issuing a speeding summons that carried a $50 fine which I could pay on the spot or return in a week or so in order to defend myself. I started to think about saying something about a mistake and stuff like that, but took another look at this guy and decided that there was no chance of him listening to any of that that bushwah.

I did not want to come back there but there was a problem. I only had about $30 in my pocket as I had been out on the road for more than a week and was meeting co-workers in Savannah, one of whom was bringing cash for me from the home office. So I told the cop that I would like to plead but that I only had $30. Would you believe that on the spot, he reduced the fine to $25?. I paid, and went on my way with a deep breath as I crossed the bridge in to Georgia.

dmodemd

Nice TR... now, let's hear about ATL-AMS!!

J-M

Sounds like a good old fashoned Mexican "traffic fine" to me... I wonder if that ticket ever got recorded on the SC books

TR7_DFW

Am I the only one that noticed this...

Imagine the short runways!