Good morning from Newcastle where it is currently stupid o’clock in the morning!

Strap in for this week's exhilarating installment of "Now what’s he up to?” where I’ve set my sights on rectifying the grievous sin of neglecting Newcastle's low-cost carriers. Imagine a majestic journey that takes us in and out of Malaga faster than a German Tourist spotting a free poolside sun lounger. In the recent past I’ve flown Easyjet and Ryanair, and this weekend I’m looking to complete the set of four major LCCs serving Newcastle by enjoying the sumptuous comfort of Jet2 and TUI! Set your expectations even lower than usual and I’ll see if I can fail to meet them

I’m no stranger to the delights of Malaga. In fact, just this past January, I found myself wandering its charming streets, all in the name of attaining that elusive FlyingBlue Gold status. For the full scoop on that escapade, you can peruse my detailed trip report right here.

There’ll be scant time for exploration this weekend but there is one item still on the wish list. Last time I was in Malaga I had my heart set on paying homage to the city’s most famous son, Pablo Picasso, by visiting the Picasso Museum. Unfortunately, my plans were thwarted by an endless line of fellow art enthusiasts taking advantage of the free entry day. They say patience is a virtue, but I have my limits, especially when there’s beer and ham calling my name.

Speaking of which, my upcoming itinerary is also packed with the finest culinary delights the city has to offer: beer and ham for lunch, beer and ham for dinner, and just for a little variety, an evening food tour featuring—you guessed it—more beer and ham! If there's a better way to soak up the culture of Malaga, I haven't found it yet.

And now it’s time for the adventure to begin as they almost always do, with a flurry of last minute packing and an uber to the airport.

Next Stop : Newcastle Airport

Ah, the joys of modern travel! My Uber driver was a delightful chap, thrilled to take me to the airport because, as luck would have it, I was essentially paying for his commute home. Who knew you could make a cabbie’s day by simply needing a ride to the airport at an ungodly hour?



Arriving at 05:10, I gave myself a mental high-five for traveling light. The Jet2 counters were bedlam, a teeming mass of humanity all waiting to have their oversized luggage judged. Meanwhile, I sashayed past with my carry-on.



But then, the security line. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. The Fast Track lane, so empty and inviting, taunted me from the side.



Note to self: invest in Fast Track next time. Twenty-five minutes of shuffling in line later, I finally emerged on the other side.

What better way to soothe my frazzled nerves than by indulging in a glass of Castelnau, courtesy of Priority Pass? There’s nothing quite like a bit of bubbly to remind you that everything will be alright in the end. Cheers to airport adventures!

Having inhaled the champagne like a dehydrated camel, I moseyed over to the Aspire Lounge. Of course, my entrance wasn’t complete without the customary ribbing from the staff, suggesting I was wandering into the wrong lounge yet again.


Settling in, I commenced my morning ritual: the holy trinity of drinks. First, a strong coffee to jolt me into a semblance of consciousness. Next, a refreshing juice to balance out the caffeine, and finally, another glass of fizz, because if you start with bubbles, you might as well commit to them.




I nibbled on a minuscule pastry, resisting the urge to dive headfirst into the breakfast buffet. Instead, I decided to gamble on airplane food, which in hindsight might be like placing a bet on a horse named "Glue Factory." But hey, it’s all part of the adventure, right?

Considering the mayhem outside, the lounge is a veritable oasis of peace and calm

I need to re-read your previous TR, and get some inspiration. Will be there next weekend and I doubt I will be able to do nothing 😁Looking forward to your photos and report feom the museum

Following your adventure with interest as always! but…

…Fixed that for you

they are not that bad. Then you will appreciate BA more 🤣🤣

Is that the finale of your tier point run?

I’m on a Segway tour this afternoon, they’re always fun and you get a whistlestop tour of the city… and no walking on jet lagged legs

Like I told you, I do these things so you don’t have to

Should be unless I decide to stay and find a job as a rum tester/taster 🤣.

Unsurprisingly it is a walk on gate this morning, but the queues are not too bad



And so to the plane….



What is missing?




Seat 1A today which is surprisingly well tucked away so no boarding battering.

Boarding complete by 07:00 and we are all buttoned up and pushing back dead on time.

Next Stop: Malaga in three and a bit hours time

A little look at the seat pocket contents whilst we taxi

Safety Card





Buy on Board Menu

The BoB menu does not look half bad to be honest, judging by the pictures - looking forward to seeing whether it was disappointment guaranteed, or whether it was decent

Your service to the community is greatly appreciated

Rather hungover right now, so those pizza twists look quite tempting!

There were a couple of departures ahead of us on the taxiway but we didn’t have to wait long and we were up in the air by around 07:20.

Once the crew were released from their seats the first order of business was to ask if we wanted tray tables. This is what I was referring to earlier with my ‘what is missing?’ question. The tray tables for row one are removable and plug into a socket on the armrest

It didn’t take long for the food and drinks run to commence and it was at this point I realised just how small and useless the tray table was . The standard trio and, a few minutes later, a bacon baguette served well for breakfast.







I had failed to download any film or TV for this trip, and I finished my last downloaded book last night so extraordinarily bad planning on my part but honestly it would not have made much difference as I spent the remainder of the trip with my headphones on to cancel the noise, and snoozed my way to Malaga.

I did wake up to see this brave or foolhardy soul waiting for the washroom




There’s not much I can say about Jet2 to be honest, the seat feels hard, narrow, and not very comfortable, in row 1 the tray table is a joke. The crew were efficient but not very friendly, all a bit of catered bus journey.

The ten minute to landing came unexpectedly early from the flight deck and we were on the ground and at the gate by 11:10 Local

Good morning from the Atlantic Coast of USA. Nice read so far with my coffee.