Good morning lamphs , you’re up bright and early for a weekend morning

There’s a lot of work completed since January and it looks like the new security area is nearly ready,….

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and boy do they need it!

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Thirty minutes later I have just passed the worlds most perfunctory passport check and it is time to find the hotel

A bottle of the Nicolas Feuillatte Réserve Brut 75cl for £35 - why not ......

I was tempted but it seemed gauche to have a whole bottle, Mr and Mrs 1B/C terminated one in short order :D

Finally landside I decide to walk to the hotel. This was a HUGE mistake! I’m staying at the Airport Holiday Inn Express and it was a 35 minute walk through and past nothing but car parks and car rental garages. It was also very dicey at one point with Google talking me across a very busy multi-lane roundabout that had no pedestrian provision!

At last there was a sign to the hotel and then, as I turned a corner, the hotel itself. Remember what I said earlier about setting low expectations and failing to meet them? :D

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If you’re thinking of staying here, you might want to think again!

If you are thinking of walking here from the airport, Don’t!

On the bright side, I did get a free beer due to my IHG status and boy do I need it!

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Finally made it to the room a little after 13:00 and it is exactly what you would expect from a HIE

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And a view of more car parks

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Last night the Segway company asked if I would move my tour from 3pm to 2pm. I agreed, thinking I would have been in the town long ago. Now, unfortunately, time has run out for Picasso as by the time I get to, and in, the museum, I would be leaving again.

Time to head into town and find the Segway shop

Segway shop found and immediately around the corner is this small cafe

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Just enough time for Jamon and Coffee as beer and Segway do not mix

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A big believer in "if you're not up by sunrise, you're wasting the day". FT is generally the first thing I checkout in the morning. But really, I had to get to Home Depot and return before there was too much beach traffic on a Saturday morning.

I wanted to do the same, book this hotel and walk there. But then I changed my mind as it doesn't have access to the beach 🤣.

After thirty seconds familiarisation where I proved I knew what I was doing, we set off. The advantage of Segway is that you can cover huge distances in relatively short time and also be at street level and able to stop wherever you want.

I was the only one on the tour today and my guide was happy to customise it to me so I chose the longest ride times and opted to skip the historic bit as I did that last time I was here. This meant that our first glide was up the mountain stopping at various viewpoints along the way

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Down the mountain was even more fun that going up. After the mountain we headed to the port

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After which we headed for the park which was lovely and cool and just rode around chatting and enjoying the break from the sun

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By the time we returned to the office we had overrun the two hour tour by a full thirty minutes. My tour guide was superb, he pitched the potted history segments just right, engaging and interesting and not too long standing in any one place.

Two and a half hours in the sun with a helmet on, I was ready for rehydration! My guide suggested La Fabrica, a very short strolll from the Segway store

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I can thoroughly recommend the Cruzcampo Gran Reserva!

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Just enough time now to enjoy it before I wander off to the food tour.

Standard disclaimer for food tours, if the group gels then I’ll be too busy socialising to do anything more than photos at each stop, so will play catch up afterwards

I'm currently working my way through Southern Spain with another tour guide - Michael Portillo :D (catching up the series broadcast on UK TV earlier this year.

Having had a Valencia trip cancelled and the Malaga end of an ex-Dub USA trip changed due to misconnect, I'm looking forward to another JapesUK TR. Do I detect a bit of ChatGPT influence in the early morning prose?

There absolutely was :) well caught ;)

Our first stop was Antigua Casa de Guardia for a Moscatel Dorado

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I may have also introduced the group to Vermut :)

A mixed group, 2 from the US, 2 from Germany, 2 from Aberdeen, 4 lads from London. Group seems to be gelling well

Stop 2 was Donde Carlos for a selection of charcuterie and a choice between manzanilla and vermut

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As we were getting up to leave the guide from my last trip turned up with his group in tow.

I was quite surprised that he recognised me, I clearly made an impression :D