The ol’ (almost) botched Mileage Run

Or, how I spent the weekend of Nov. 9-11, 2002. A background, and bit of indulgence in personal history, if you will.

Somewhere along the line in the summer of the year of our Lord 2002, I came across FlyerTalk and learned of the mileage run, a handy tool used predominantly by obsessive/compulsive types (of which I will confess to be one) for the accumulation of miles, and therefore, “status”, on a favorite airline. Having acquired the level of MVPGold on Alaska Airlines in 1999, I sought to acquire new elite opportunities, as there were territories that I was soon to cover for business and pleasure that AS did not fly to. I selected AA, as I had been an Aadvantage member since 1989, but had never been an elite. Other than that time they wouldn’t let me fly back to Chicago at Christmas with my dog because it was too cold, I’d had pretty good luck with the airline. Timeframe: somewhere in between rides on the Harley, August 2002 (those who have a concept of the normally limited sunny season in Seattle will understand this).

Forward to October, 2002, and thanks to Fewmiles and numerous others on this board, I’ve completed the Plat challenge and am starting to set up runs for 2003. A brilliant idea comes to me one day…I have several flights booked for the remainder of 2002 on AS. AS is an AA partner, mais non? Rather than continue to accumulate miles in a program in which I have already made the ultimate sacrifice, (known to AS metal flyers as MVPGold), I decide to go for AA EXP and commence an assault upon my few remaining free weekends. I have the potential to finish with 72K AA miles at this point. As I am typing this on a DFW-TPA flight over the gulf of Mexico, please excuse the shaky type….we have encountered a bit of “choppy air”, as they say.

As I finish checking out three weeks worth of MR ideas on FT and aa.com, booking up the last of my weekends in 2002, I realize that I will be 7K short of this convoluted dream. I begin to nest tickets, another trick that I learned the nuances of while lurking on this board. Squeezing all I can out of two more flights, if all goes well, by 12/16/02 I will have 102,600 q-miles on AA. EXP, here I come.

This brings us to today’s flight, which was, after careful manipulation, designed to be routed as SEA-DFW-TPA-DFW-SEA (take a break overnight in SEA), SEA-STL-TPA (take a break for some sales calls in Tampa) TPA-ORD-SEA. OK, I realize that to purists, this is not a true “mileage run”, it’s a thinly disguised business trip with a mileage run discreetly nested in the middle. Or so I’d hoped.

SEA-DFW, AA 698, 757-200, 6:06AM Sat., 11/9/02, Seat 4B

It’s the usual November weather, prime for a Seattle escape, rain with accompanying winds. Preflight coffee and OJ at the AC in SEA prepare me for the first leg, which offers the following choices for breakfast:

French Toast with apple smoked turkey sausage slices -or-
Rice Krispies cereal and banana
Both also offer the addition of a fresh fruit plate (strawberry, orange slices, grapefruit slices, grapes) accompanied by choice of bagel or biscuit.
IFE: movie “Showtime” (garbage despite a decent cast), then off-the-TV junk

I pass on the french toast (had this SEA-ORD a few weeks back, I am positive that this food item had an earlier life as a portion of roofing shingle) and opt for the cereal. As usual, the fruit is great and I am happy…the bagel, on the other hand, was nuked a bit too long and now resembles a Tonka truck tire.

It’s also a “mock celebrity look-alikes” flight, as I have a Mary-Stuart Masterson lookalike as my seatmate (complete with a blue-green yin-yang tattoo on her lower back), and a somewhat dead ringer for Matt Damon seated across from me in 3E. He has no exposed tattoos that I am aware of. The actual flight is uneventful, and we land at DFW with an hour and a half layover until the next leg. I head for the A terminal A.C. and plug in the ol’ laptop. Surely there’s e-mail other than porno ads and get-out-of-debt-quick stuff to read.

DFW-TPA, AA1085, MD-83, 1:06 P.M. Sat., 11/9/02, Seat 4B

I arrive at the gate just in time to hear the group 1 boarding call, so I head for the podium, only to be rush blocked by a few dozen group 4 and 5ers that must be thinking they’re on a WN flight. I can’t figure that mentality out, we’re not leaving until everyone at the gate is on board, so what’s the point of clogging up access to the gate entry lane before your group number can board?

I fall asleep almost immediately upon settling into my seat, only to awaken 30 minutes later to…nothing! We’re now 35 minutes past departure time, and there’s no indication that we’re going anywhere anytime soon. A few minutes later, the captain comes on and informs us that there’s a maintenance gripe from the inbound flight that can’t be resolved, and he’s looking into getting us another airplane. I quickly realize that, with a 45 minute connect time in TPA (back to DFW and SEA, the last flight of the day), I am screwed, and I’d better get on the phone and start changing things. The Westshore Hilton in TPA can put me up for an additional night, no sweat. Hertz will change my car rental, and the Sea-Tac Doubletree back in SEA will CX tonight’s res. The guy at the AA plat desk will give me full credit for the unused ticket and feels bad for me, laughing when I tell him what I’m up to today. That’s what I get for cutting it so close, eh? Guess I’ll go to Jim’s in St. Petersburg and rent a Harley for the day tomorrow, see a portion of the central west coast of Florida. I also have to figure out how I’m going to make up the 5,200 miles I’ve just missed out on, as I really needed 2600 of them to get to that necessary 100k Qmiles threshold.

The only interesting pax on this leg also surfaces before departure. In this episode of “Who’s the Wacko on This Flight”, an undernourished, overdressed and Wagner Power Painter made up 30 something fake platinum blonde woman in 3A is yelling at her daughter into her cell phone that she’s grounded for the next week, but mommy loves her and is jetting home to spend some quality time with her, can you believe that she had to connect in Dallas (the word Dallas spit out like battery acid) but she better not use the cell phone to call her little friends or give out the number because there’s only 300 minutes left….blah ,blah, blah, all at a volume exceeding the high bypass turbofans this bird’s equipped with. Most everyone else in FC takes this loud oration in stride, although I hear a few snickers from behind my seat. Low and behold, 20 minutes later, the skipper comes back on and it seems as if all is A-OK with the cooling system and the avionics, so we’ll be taking this aircraft to TPA after all. Even making up a bunch of time enroute, we’ll still be arriving 10 minutes after my TPA-DFW-SEA flight leaves. Oh, well.

This flight’s meal choices:

Choice of pretzels or honey roasted almonds
Green salad
Cold poached salmon -or-
Mediterranean Chicken Salad
Accompanied by a cheese and cracker plate
For dessert; Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies.
IFE: nothing, it’s an MD-80

I opt for the salmon and wash it down with a few Crown on the rocks, the only solace I can take from my now ill-fated MR. We arrive at TPA uneventfully, but the skipper slams on the brakes just as we’re cutting across the high speed taxiway to intersect the adjoining parallel runway enroute to the gate. Several pax are alarmed, but the FA calmly cautions everyone to check for falling carryons when opening the bins, as items may have shifted during flight. I don’t know about flight, but they sure as he!! did when we stopped on that old proverbial dime. I’m also thinking about a brake fire at this point, but no such luck. BTW, kudos to AA’s inflight caterer out of DFW, the salmon was outstanding.

Leaving the aircraft in TPA, I figure, OK, it’s worth a shot, so I approach the GA’s at gate F87 to see if this aircraft is heading back to DFW. Guess what? It is, and on top of that (thanks to outstanding gate agents Katherine and Martha):

They can “resurrect” my cancelled itinerary,
I can get back on the same plane that I came in on,
I can have my same upgraded seats TPA-DFW-SEA-STL-TPA,
There will be no charge for this AND
They can print out my boarding passes for both tonight’s AND tomorrow’s flights.
Wow. Welcome to the roller coaster.

After explaining (truthfully…dumb!) why I am going back to Dallas on the same plane I just came in on, I am somewhat admonished and told I am a bad boy for nesting tickets (although I mildly protest that both were legal with one night stayovers). After another couple of quick phone calls to Hilton and Hertz, I’m back on the plane again, previous reservations restored to their original status. The MR is not dead, after all.

TPA-DFW, AA411, the same MD-83, 5:35 PM Sat., 11/9/02, Seat 5E

Meal choices:

Warmed assorted nuts
Green Salad with kidney beans and shrimp (?!?)
Filet of Sirloin (?) with baked potato -or-
Cheese Ravioli in sun dried tomato sauce
Accompanied by choice of sourdough roll or Focaccia bread
Raspberry laced cheesecake
IFE: you guessed it. Nada.

The steaks are history by the time the FA gets to my seat, so it’s a vegetarian meal for this boy. With 2 more Crown/rocks, I am dialed in and can’t believe my bad turned good fortune. Uneventful flight, nice service in FC. The ravioli was better than I thought it would be, and the salad combination went together better than it sounds. We arrive at DFW gate C25, my SEA flight leaves from C20. Somebody’s watching out for me today.

DFW-SEA, AA 643, MD-80, 8:26 PM Sat. 11/9/02, Seat 6E

I get to the gate with about 25 minutes to spare…conveniently, the C terminal AC is right across from C20. More good luck….I take this as a sign and go in for a quick tour and glass of water before leaving DFW. Don’t know why, but I like the A side club better. The flight back to SEA is going to be 4 hours, so I choose a movie from the personal stash in my laptop bag; tonight, it’s going to be Mr. Baseball, with a “desert” of a Sopranos 3rd season episode, followed by a nap. Our meal for this flight:

Warmed mixed nuts w/ choice of beverage
Warmed salmon filet over a bed of greens with lentils
Roll with butter
Chocolate chip cookie.
Dos mas Crown on the rocks

This meal (I’m surprised we’re getting anything) is pretty decent as well. Considering the fare I’ve had on my many SEA-ORD round trips in the past few months, I begin to wonder if catering is better to/from some destinations than others. An uneventful flight with cordial FA’s and cockpit crew, we land in Seattle on time (in the rain), and it’s off to the Sea-Tac Doubletree for 5 hours of sleep before doing it again tomorrow.

SEA-STL, AA 3044, MD-80, 6:42AM, Sun 11/10/02, Seat 6E (ex-TWA Metal)

Last night was certainly interesting at the hotel. A room on the fourth floor provided me with live musical entertainment as well as an impromptu party to select from. My neighbors above decided that midnight would be a good time for a concert, so they dragged their acoustic guitars out to the balcony and started jamming away. I’ll give ‘em their due, they were pretty good, but this wasn’t the time or the place. After a request that they play either solo (so low I can’t hear you), tenor (ten or twelve miles from here) or far, far away, they packed up and went inside. At around 12:30 a.m., I was treated to a rather loud informal gathering in the room next to mine, which, despite silicone earplugs, left me unable to sleep. A quick call to the front desk brought silence within 5 minutes or so thanks to staff intervention. No upgrade for a Diamond on this night, alas.

Up at 5AM ,the hotel shuttle gets me to SeaTac at about 5:55, so I go directly to my gate, as the flight boards at 6:12. I know if I go up to the AC, I’ll fall asleep and miss the flight. We blast off on time in the rain again (what else?) and head southeast for St. Louis. Due to a massive low centered off the coast that is extending cloud cover over most of the western states, there really isn’t much to see until we get over the eastern side of the Rockies, which, even at lower elevations, are already covered in snow. Let’s hope for great snow pack in the west this year, as many states are really suffering from low water tables.

Breakfast choices on this flight:

Mushroom omelet with fried potatoes, sausage and sweet roll –or-
Cold cereal (I think it’s Corn Flakes)
Fresh fruit (honeydew, strawberry, grapefruit & orange slices) and yogurt
IFE: another MD-80, but who cares, I’m sleeping after chow.

I choose the omelet against my better judgment and am pleasantly surprised. It’s really not bad; the potatoes and sausage are palatable as well. The roll is OK, and the fruit is very good….again. I’ve never really been a fan of fruit until I started flying a lot, and it’s beginning to grow on me. I think I actually look forward to fruit now, especially since it’s already cut up, or fileted, if you will.

The ex-TWA FA’s are pretty chipper and friendly for this early of a flight, and I notice that the FA who does the initial drink serving in FC then goes back to Y for the flight. This will be repeated on the STL-TPA leg later today. I have to say I like the seats on the old TWA planes much better in FC. My neck is still sore from those God awful, forward canted leather SOB’s that they have in 757’s and 767 domestic F/J class. I may have been comfortable sleeping in the head forward fetal position as an infant, but it’s not kosher today. I’m in the middle of 50,000 miles flown in 2 months, and my neck is rebelling against the positions it’s been forced to sleep in. I read most of the Seattle Times on the flight and still have time for an hour nap after breakfast.

We arrive at Lambert 10 minutes early, and I head off to the St. Louis A/C to do another tour. I waited until I got to Plat before joining, so many of these visits are for the first time. So far, I really like the one in Chicago (the one at the H/K concourse) and the A concourse one in DFW. SEA’s is OK; I’m not really impressed with STL and the C concourse one at DFW. In addition, the A/C at STL today smells like mildew, and they’ve got CNN on at the bar. Baby, this is Sunday, what the he!!s the matter with you? Get a football game on! It also appears as if everyone in here suffers from depression…not a friendly face in sight. I find a cubicle, plug the laptop in and catch up with e-mails, as there’s an hour and ten layover here before heading to TPA.

STL-TPA, AA2822, 757, 1:55PM Sunday, 11/1002, Seat 4B

This leg should, and from now on, will be named the biggest waste of a first class upgrade ever (the seat is nice, though). Two 500 mile segments down the drain. Now that it appears the MRTC conversion is well underway (if not complete, as both of today’s ex-TWA planes have been converted), I think I’ll begin passing on upgrades for flights less than 3 hours duration. The (ahem) meal:

Pretzels
Choice of beverage
IFE: more rehashed TV crap…yada, yada, yada. Weird that the video screens on this look more like an Airbus, hanging down from the PSU’s instead of in the middle of the cabin ceiling. First I’ve seen of this (OK, all you flying veterans out there, get your chuckle at the AA rookie).

Ahh, here are a few of the old TWA hags that I’ve read about on FT, but never seen before. The FA taking the preflight drink orders is very nice, but she’s relegated back to coach after takeoff. Weird, I wonder why they do this? Her replacement is a generic, mid fifties humanoid that takes my drink order (diet coke, a little too early for Crown) with absolutely no expression on her face. Turning to go back for the soda, I check to see if there are switches or access panels on her back, as if to seek confirmation of what I already suspect. The drink is also delivered with two (count ‘em) bags of Rold Gold pretzels (where’s my colossal cheddar mix?). I thank her upon delivery, but there is no expression change or acknowledgement. I’m still not sure of human or machine status. Decker, where are you when I need you?

Other interesting things about this leg: it takes us about a half an hour to get out of STL due to the fact that everybody else wants to bail out of here at the same time. What, is the Rams game over already, or are they on a bye week? I miss most of this delay because I have chosen this as an opportunity to catch another mini nap. I should add that at this point my “nappy-poos” are infamous among my friends, as I am rarely awake for pushback, taxi and takeoff. For some reason, this has become a personally favorite time to catch a few z’s. We are, however, rewarded for downtime on the taxiway as an F-16 takes off immediately before us. I am treated to, from the left side of the plane, a roaring, full afterburner departure courtesy of the United States Air Force. A befitting and welcome sight for a Veteran’s Day weekend flight. The skipper of our bird must be inspired by this as well, as he wastes no time rolling out behind the fighter for takeoff. It’s almost as if he wants to catch the guy.

Other than the extraordinary in flight “meal”, the flight to TPA is uneventful, yet bumpy, and we land only 15 minutes after our scheduled arrival time. Funny how those guys up front can make up time…or is it that there is a certain amount of “fudge factor” built into each flight?

TPA-ORD, AA 1004, MD-80, 3:58p.m. Monday, 11/11/02, Seat 4B

Another MD-80, what a surprise. Our inbound plane arrives a bit late from ORD, so I have a few extra minutes to catch up on some work related phone calls before boarding. It’s been a pretty decent day in Tampa, the Westshore Hilton put me up on the “executive” floor and coughed up a free breakfast buffet to boot. No exec lounge, though, as it appears the hotel is under renovation. This is verified nasally upon arrival; the hotel corridor smells of fresh latex on the 11th floor. 86 degrees for a high (with 90% humidity) and progressively more cloudy as the day goes on; I silently give thanks for the air conditioning in the brand new ’03 Maxima that Hertz upgraded me to while here for the day. It seems a shame to waste a sunroof on a climate such as this, for as there is much sun here on the west coast of Florida, I believe the more popular method of climate control has got to be air conditioning.

This flight’s meal offering:

Green salad with cherry tomato, ranch dressing or vinagrette
Choice of either: Chicken Lasagna or Vegetable Pizza.
Chocolate chip cookie for dessert,
Choice of beverage
IFE: you got it.

I gotta go for the veggie pizza on this flight, it’s a Chicago style deep dish. Even though it’s airline food, being a raised-in-Chicago boy, I got a soft spot for ‘za. Pizza (for the most part) in Seattle can’t hold a candle to Chicago deep dish, and although today’s mini-pie on AA ain’t bad, I lust for the old days at Lou Malnati’s when the family still owned it and the sausage ran the entire length of the top of the pizza. Just feel those arteries slam shut as you eat.

After a few Crown-on-the-rocks, the descent into Chicago is easier taken despite the turbulence associated with the northern edge of some very serious weather that passed to the south earlier today. Several people were killed in Tennessee and Alabama as a record number of tornadoes tore up real estate (and everything else in their paths)across the southeast.

I’m again thankful that there is no delay in getting into ORD, as I’ve just about had enough butt in the seat time for the past few days and have little desire to spend the night here due to a weather delay; after all, I’ll be back here this Saturday. No really interesting characters on this flight to observe, except for the guy who gets the “I’m so important” award for this trip. Y’ know that split second after the “we’re finally at the gate” chime rings and you can launch out of your seat (kind of like 14 jack-in-the-boxes going off at the same time)? Normally, people get out of their seat and stay at their row, or, if their carry on is back a row or two, there’s a bit of “pass the luggage forward” between FC pax before the cabin door opens. Well, this guy in 6E decides he’s gonna leap frog three rows to get to the front. Pushing me out of the way en route to the front, he says on the way past, “I’m ready to get off”. After a brief moment of wondering if this guy has a really tight connection to make, I think to myself, gee, tell your wife, buddy. We’re probably ALL ready to get off this thing. We arrive at H6, and my SEA leg takes off from H5. I never get lucky like this! With 20 minutes to spare, it’s off to the A/C for a quick face wash and a free diet coke.

I have to tip my hat on this trip to AA’s FA’s, it was quite the challenge to get everyone served despite the less than perfect flying conditions. This was accomplished with aplomb and a smile. Seven out of eight legs gone, and it’s really been a lot of fun. I must be completely retarded, enjoying this mass flying stuff. Wonder if I can get a job being a mystery shopper on the airlines?

ORD-SEA, AA 1961, yet another MD-80, 6:38PM, Monday 11/11/02, Seat 4B

Wow, 3 meal selections on this flight.

Pre departure beverage
Warmed assorted mixed nuts (the previous 2 items missing from the TPA-ORD leg)
Greens salad with either vinagrette or peppercorn ranch dressing
Chicken with plum sauce
Poached Turbot filet
Cheese ravioli in sun dried tomato sauce (been there, done that)
(oh, baby!) Sundaes for desert, choice of toppings.
IFE: Back to the laptop.

After a bit of confusion stuffing everybody into the fully packed 14/115 configuration on this leg, we’re ready to back away from the gate, practically on time. Even though I’m not in Y tonight, I fly AA in coach about half the time, and really appreciate both the MRTC program and power ports in coach. Note that AS, also an airline I consider to be a very good one and fly quite a bit, gets a yield of 12/128 out of their MD-80 family of aircraft. I’m sure there are differences in fuselage lengths, but the difference in seat pitch between the 2 airlines is very noticeable, both in Y and F. It’s a smooth departure to the northwest, and I nod off for a quick ten minute nap.

The guy next to me is clearly not happy about having to be stuffed in this tin can for the four hour leg. He’s jamming in as many cell phone calls as he can while juggling and unpacking a ton of computer equipment. Let’s see, there’s a power converter (that thing’s huge! How old is it?), an optical mouse, a few folders, the laptop, CD’s, a legal pad, headphones (big ones), looks as if we’ll be fighting it out for armrest space. This dude definitely came to play. After listening to about ten minutes of mindless, incoherent grumbling, I decide that this an excellent time to give those silicon earplugs another try. I smile as the FA gives me my pre-departure Crown/rocks and concentrate on my breathing. Nam-yam-ho-renge-ko.

The FA’s back in Y are pretty needy tonight, for some reason. The ding-ding, ding-dings are going off at the rate of about one every 10 minutes. The poor FA in front is really scrambling between answering intercom calls and trying to deliver meals; she finally gets some help, and all is right with the world. An excellent example of grace under minor pressure by tonight’s crew; we’re bounced around a fair amount during the flight, but the service is seamless.

After polishing off the dee-licious sundae and running the plane out of Crown, I opt for a rented DVD, “The Last Castle”, to finish off this trip. We land on 16R around 9:30 P.M. PST (where it’s STILL raining) and I’m off to the shuttle bus for delivery to my truck. 10,500 miles closer to EXP, I’m wiped and can’t wait to get back to my own bed. Though I had a good time and got to fly up front the whole weekend, I’m thinkin’ thank God I only have one more of these in December!

Freaking great report!

Great report. I passed through ORD on AA this weekend and was also subjected to all the turbulence. I took AA 1961 to SEA last Easter, but it was operated with a 757 -- I guess they changed it.

Wow...quite an adventure! Thanks for sharing.

Fred: terrific report! I really like your writing style. Thanks!

Great read!

I'm headed to the Doubletree Sea-Tac myself tonight to do a similar five hour turn. Ick!

I always thought nested tickets were illegal and you could get hosed for them? I know it's legal to have tickets going to other destinations (for example, in your case, doing TPA-ORD-LGA-ORD-TPA) inside a given ticket, but I thought it wasn't allowed to return to your original city.

Steve

Well written - I enjoyed it.

Those MD-80's really get old after awhile though I think.

Good Luck on your Dec. run.

I thought that the rule is that anything is kosher if you actually fly the whole thing. The question is throwaway ticketing, or hidden city when you throw away the last coupon.

What a weekend!
What a Trip Report!
Thanks, Fred!

Thanks to all for the comments, encouragement and complements. I may just invade this space again after the Decemeber MR, which will be SEA-SAN-ORD-RDU-ORD-SAN-SEA. At least that one'll be on two different airlines and spread out a little more. 2A, appreciate your complement...I always look forward to reading your new stuff and hope you're saving it to get published some day.

I've saved them all, Fred. I'm just not sure that anybody outside of FT Trip Report devotees would want to read them so a publishing deal has never been looked at too seriously.
Example: On those few occasions when I've shown one to friends to read, they usually read a paragraph or two, roll their eyes, and list slowly to port.

All my friends and family can say is that "we're glad it makes sense to you". Talk about packaging!