Mateito

I know, this trip wasn't exactly like taking a BBJ to Portofino and staying at the Ritz, but I was in the mood to write a trip report. (I lost my FlyerTalk password and had trouble replacing it, so I've been on an FT hiatus for a few months.)

Background
As I may have mentioned in a past trip report, I left my job in the airline biz to go back to school and earn a master's in epidemiology. Although I sometimes miss flying around, school has been terrific. So terrific in fact that I decided to get another master's degree. To make a long story short, I wasn't too gung-ho about a PhD or an MD, so I decided to become a nurse practitioner. In September, I'll start at Ohio State. This trip was to Columbus for orientation.

Booking
Due to the recent downturn in business travel, the midweek, no Saturday stayover fare was ridiculously cheap. I shelled out a bit more to fly on Delta, since they offered to "Remedallionize" me if I flew 8 flights before the end of August. Having just let a US Airways systemwide expire, I'm trying to redeem myself by securing my status on DAL.

On the advice of a colleague, I decided to give priceline.com a try for a hotel room. I said I'd pay $50 for a room in Columbus at a 3-star or better property. Sure enough, I got a room at the Hyatt Regency. The rates on hotel websites were at least double the cost. I was very impressed that this worked.

I also paid a visit to the Enterprise web site and reserved an SUV for an oddly affordable rate.

27 June DL339 BDL 0955 CVG 1156 Seat 19F 757-200
After reading some FT reports, I expected that any trip on Delta would be a living hell. Since I would be in economy for the first time in two years, I was not looking forward to this flight.

I hung my head low in shame and went to the non-Medallion, non-first class line. Strange for Hartford, the line was minimal and check-in took less than 15 seconds. The agent was surprisingly pleasant (BDL doesn't have the friendliest DL agents.)

Another surprise for Delta: they were looking for volunteers. They've really tried to cut back on overbooking, and it's been years since I've seen a sign looking for bumps. So I forked over my BP and prayed. They were offering $500, so I knew they were desperate. Turns out that there were a slew of no-shows and nobody got bumped. As a thank you, the agent gave me two drink coupons--another pleasant surprise.

Boarding was organized and the 757 was in decent shape. 19F is a fantastic seat next to the exit with a few feet of leg room. The woman in 19E was not at all pleased with this arrangement and bitterly asked, "How did you get that seat." I just smiled. Actually I reserved it on the DL web site, but I wanted to tell her that I slept with a gate agent or that I'm Leo Mullin's long lost son.

The cabin crew were friendly, professional and clearly experienced (read: "over 30.") They were considerably more organized and less ditzy than some crews I've had on Transatlantic Delta flights. I also think the new uniforms are great improvement.

I was shocked that this flight included the CNN/sit-com entertainment. The past few times I've flown BDL-CVG, this has not been offered. I was busy enjoying my luxurious seat to bug the woman next to me. She thought I was--and I quote--"too short to sit there." She also didn't like the fact that row 18 had an unused seat marked for "Flight Attendant Use." I didn't feel like explaining that it was probably a good idea to keep crew members near the exits.

CVG
Cincinnati looked fantastic. For the summer season, it was surprisingly clean and calm (bathrooms excluded). The only drawbacks: there are no power outlets anywhere. So much for recharging my laptop. As always, Starbucks was staffed by total lunatics. The woman behind the counter was clearly too busy swearing at her coworker to assist a customer. That place has been a mess since it opened.

27 June DL2294 CVG 1440 CMH 1537 Seat 42A 757-200
Infants, infants, infants. There must have been an infant convention in Columbus. I was dreading the 32 minute flight, but the 18 month-old next to me was extraordinarily calm. He intermittently yelled "airplane!" and "bumpy!" I think I actually enjoyed sitting in the back of economy because it was fun to play with this little kid.

Delta doesn't even bother with "Fast Break" beverage service on this flight. I know, Crossair would probably serve Crepes Suzette and Beluga on a flight of this length, but I couldn't see the point in offering drinks on a full 757 for such a short flight. Delta did, however, show the CNN/sit-com video. I was stunned that they did this, but why not? I doubt that they pay for it per flight and it keeps people occupied.

Much to my surprise, I got to Columbus on time. I couldn't believe it.

CMH
The Port Columbus Airport was much larger than I expected. I did only see one HP plane there, but word has it that they're scaling back the hub.

There was a long walk to the ground transportation area, but only one person in front of me at Enterprise. The agent, Ryan, reminded me of a Beaver Cleaver or a Walton or something. He was so genuinely friendly and helpful I just wanted to laugh. I think I lived in New York for so long that I'm deeply amused by people who aren't immediately passive aggressive.

Within two or three minutes, I was in a Cherokee and on my way.

The Hyatt Regency
I had stayed in this hotel some years ago and had fond memories. It's enormous and attached to a convention center. I don't usually like huge hotels, but this one is fine.

I called 1-800-CHECK-IN from CVG, but I found that this served no purpose. I still had to wait in line, fill out paperwork, and fork over a credit card. In fact, I fail to see the point of 1-800-CHECK-IN other than to waste time.

The Hyatt staff were similarly comparable erstwhile television characters. Wholesome, neighborly, etc. I wanted to ask for room 666 and wear black lipstick just to rile them up.

There was a convention of about a zillion high school students underway at the Hyatt. They all wore nametags that said "Life 2001: It's about you." I couldn't figure out the theme of the convention and was too afraid to ask. There seemed to be no common religious, racial, or ethnic theme. I was irritated at first by the swarms of squirt-gun wielding youth, but they seemed to disappear for their convention.

I was caught off guard to enter the elevator and find bathing suit-clad teenagers playing the guitar. Things got interesting when one of the guitarists started singing "La Morena de mi Corazon" in faux Spanish. I took it upon myself to explain the real lyrics, which impressed him to no end.

The room at the Hyatt was fairly large and comfortable with an enormous wing chair. There was a coffee maker and coffee but no sugar, cream, or fake cream.

I was asleep by about 10:00.

Ohio State
This trip involved both school and hospital orientations. There was certainly a sharp contrast between OSU and my current school (The "Big Y.") But the differences were just that: differences rather than shortcomings.

The other students seemed overwhelimingly white and young in comparison with my current colleagues. There was also a high prevalence of big hair and excessive makeup. But Yale's nursing students are much the same. It's a different crowd than epidemiology.

The hospital seemed to be quite pleasant and the staff on the wards were friendly enough. The only weird part is that their students wear white scrubs--I'll look like a ghost!

Naturally, I was rather anxious about the whole thing. Was I "shooting too low" by becoming an NP rather than an MD? Would Columbus be too homogenious? The faculty, however, all seemed bright, intellectual, and interesting. In order to put my mind at ease, I reminded myself that this will be a very quick degree. I also picked up a few items from the "mandatory equipment list" (a sphygmomanometer, patella hammer, etc.)

The Return
The traffic on the airport access road was monstrous, but I made it to the airport with an hour to spare.

The Enterprise staff were again amazingly friendly and helpful. The return process took less than five minutes (including waiting in line.)

28 June DL1402 CMH 1710 CVG 1800 Seat 35D 727-200
The Columbus airport was busy but not miserable. The security man skipped by my bag with the laptop, Palm pilot, etc. and aimed for my backpack for the idiotic TNA inspection. I've noticed that they routinely pick the lightest bags for this "random" inspection. I'm sure that a terrorist could figure out that he or she should pack a bag that looks heavy.

Deemed free of nitrogen-containing explosives, I headed to the gate, where there was no line. Check in took 10 seconds at the most.

Boarding was chaotic due to vacationers who think it's a good idea to crowd the boarding area long before their row is called. Someone must have told them that a prize is offered to the first passenger to board.

I sat in the beautiful exit row of the 727-200 (the one in the back), with two empty seats next to me. The guy behind me was a Chatty Cathy, so I was pleased that he would be conversing with other travellers. He was busy trying to show off, making comments like "Well this here is a 727" and "My company paid a pretty penny for this seat." As if anyone really cares that much.

The Chatter quickly dropped to a silver medal in the Annoying Passenger Olympics. As we were disembarking, a businessman said to me "Give me that bag" (out of the overhead bin.) No "please," no "thank you." Did he think I was an F/A? I just handed him the bag and shut up.

28 June DL2204 CVG 1915 BDL 1911 Seat 25F 767-300 (domestic configuration)
CVG was fairly busy with Transatlantic departures. After a quick 75 minute connection, I boarded the last flight of this quick trip.

There were very few obvious business travellers on this flight. Why is it that families and couples are always snapping at each other on airplanes? Is it the stress of flying? I heard one family after the next barking about, "It says 21A and 21B right here. Where are YOU going? PAY ATTENTION!" and so forth. Then they moan about how the seats have gotten smaller.

Noise pollution seemed to be an issue on this flight. Someone kept ringing the call button for the entire 1.5 hour flight. The guy sitting next to me chose to listen to the inflight audio without headphones by jacking up the volume in the armrest. I found this an odd choice considering that headsets were provided to every passenger.

I was seated next to a mid-cabin lavatory (the compromise for exit row legroom.) As usual, nobody could figure out how to open the door. They must have been confused by the complex instructions on the door ("Push.")

The cabin crew were again impressively professional and organized. They were particularly patient with the large numbers of screaming babies, even though it was late in the day and they were in the middle of a 3-day trip.

Typical of flights in the USA, the "Fasten Seat Belt" sign was misconstrued to mean "Good time to walk around." Even after repeated announcements, passengers were still wandering about the cabin. One woman was walking around with her baby during final approach! Shouldn't there be some sort of INSTINCT to protect the young? How about clues from around you? (i.e. everyone else is strapped in.) I wish that the US carriers would adopt the more stringent seatbelt enforcement found on BA, Finnair, and others.

We landed a few minutes early at BDL. It was a complete zoo, as always. The various meeters and greeters completely blocked the pathway to the parking lot. I hope there's never a fire in that airport!

Fortunately, the shuttle bus came quickly and I was in my car 15 minutes after landing. For aggravation purposes, the traffic on 91 delayed me for an extra half an hour, but this was easily forgotten after a beer at home.

The Bottom Line
Nice work, Delta. I expected delays and brusque service, but everything ran very smoothly. Despite constant stories on the news about the horrors of air travel, this trip was painless--even in economy.

Enterprise has certainly gained my loyalty. It was so cheap and the people were great.

Priceline.com seems worth it for hotels in the USA. I always thought it seemed kind of frightening (no choice of hotel chain, etc.) but this worked out beautifully in terms of the hotel and the pocketbook.

Hyatt's 800-CHECK-IN service seemed to be utterly pointless.

Next trip: ARN in Business Elite.

[This message has been edited by Mateito (edited 06-30-2001).]

usoftie

Great trip report. I can't believe the lady actually had the nerve to tell you that you were too short for the extra legroom seat. You should have just told her "well, jot that seat number down in your book for next time".

And I can never let a challenge go unanswered, so I figured out what "Life 2001" is: http://www.cmalliance.org/cmayouth/life.htm

Lokahi

Excellent report and amusing reading. Thank you!

Cogent, concise, and too the point. Obviously a young Hemmingway in the making...

Aloha.

Water Polo Ref

As an all-too-frequent flyer on Delta, I agree that DL's front line staff are generally very good (though, as with everything else, there are a few who spoil the reputation of the rest). What you experienced is what I expect to find on a DL mainline flight.

So far this year, on DL, my delays have almost all been weather related (legitimate ones too) or because I was on ASA. Other than that, I think I have landed early on practically every flight.

So, with all this, Leo Mullin must still be wondering why so many of his FFs (like me) are thinking about switching to other airlines . But THAT is something else and discussed extensively on the DL board.

FlyBDL

Nice trip report! Very funny and a pleasure to read. Goodluck with school...

Eric

PHX/BDL