When I relay some of my wacky trips in the chatroom, I always get “you need to do a trip report”. I maintain I have the most boring trips possible, but here goes:

Did someone ask why status matters?! I fly USAIRWAYS.. I fly out of CLT, I can get where I need to go… it was easier to obtain elite status on this airline versus any other. Wait – I’m going to BTR and US doesn’t fly there??? They will in December?? Grrrrreat…

So at 3:40 on the afternoon of the 23rd, my CEO and I board the Jetstream 32 turboprop to CLT. I usually fly alone, so it will be interesting to have witness to the shameless steps I’ll take for special treatment! We’re late by 15 minutes on takeoff, as usual. Hey – it’s hard when the guy who is the ticket agent is also the security agent and also runs over to take your boarding pass at the door to the flightline, and then runs out to put your carryon in the belly of the plane for storage. I think if they just gave him flight lessons, he could fly us on down to CLT and be the most cross-trained staff US has! But we finally get boarded, and on to the taxiway, to learn that we are “number one for takeoff” ! The pilot puts it in extra-turbo mode and we land in CLT at 4:15 – only 5 minutes late.
We wait another few minutes for the crew to unload the carryon baggage and arrange it in a neat little row just at the bottom of the steps outside the aircraft. THEN and only then will they open the door to deplane. These guys are in no hurry and I feel for the passengers with tight connections!

Upon entering the terminal we mosey from Term D to Term C – not a bad walk. Time to grab a smoke before boarding begins at the gate. In CLT this means you enter a perfectly nice bar, order a drink, and have a cigarette. The last of this I’ll see for a couple of days. We have both been upgraded on a 737 but, alas, in row 1. No biggie – it’s a short hop to ATL – only an hour and fifteen minutes. Just time to get a drink and my selection of the basket goodies – which, for me, is always the Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Milano cookies! I obtain my Baileys plus some for hotel consumption later, read the NEW Attache magazine (much better than last month’s), and it’s time to land. So far so good.

In ATL, we have an hour between flights. This is good thing because we need to go from D31 to A6 AND find an addict cage to grab a smoke! We get to the gate for a Delta flight (gasp) from ATL-BTR. And you think status doesn’t matter? I’m in 36B – my CEO in 22B on an MD88. Ugh! I guess my 6000 miles on Delta this year don’t impress them. Good news is that it’s a short flight to BTR – only an hour and a half.

At BTR, we deplane and begin the trek down the concourse to outside. Oops, we’re there already! Seriously, 50 feet, down as escalator – we’re there! I pick up my keys from Hertz – go to my car – and you’re right Cigarman, it’s all of 30 yards - WHAT???? An Escort?????.. trek back inside – get a Taurus – poor selection tonight - and hit the highway for the Hampton Inn on Gwenadele Road – chosen because it is close to my client for the early AM meeting next day. I’m two stays away now from Diamond level with HHonors. Usually their properties are fairly consistent, especially the newer chains e.g. Hampton, Homewood, Garden Inns. We grab McDonald's to go, and get to the hotel.

I know this one is trouble when I pull into the parking lot and there are outside doors. As a woman who travels alone, this is a BIG no-no for me. But, it’s now 8:30, Allie NoMeal comes on soon, and I’m whipped. I ask for an upgrade, but am told they only have one suite and I can’t have it. I ask nicely if it is booked for the evening, but am told “no, but I would have to charge you the full rate for it anyway”. I ask if this is the case for someone of my elite status , and am told ‘yes’. I am certainly not impressing the CEO with my ability to gain special favors from travel providers.! The story I told him about getting the mondo Casa Grande suite at the Hilton Deerfield Beach is suddenly under suspicion.

So it’s back in the car, drive around the back of the hotel, to a ground floor room. There’s barely room to park ‘cause Kenny Schrader (sp?) of Nascar fame has his whole rig filling the parking lot! Oh, the fun has just started. Hampton must have bought this property from Motel 6. I enter the room - all 200 sq feet of it - to find a mini-desk with no phone – the only phone being one on a postage stamp night stand, so setting up my computer is now a balancing act. I finally decide on the floor – and at my age, sitting cross-legged on the floor, trying to see a laptop screen below the light is really irritating. So I bag that for tonight and try to turn on the 19” television. The remote doesn’t work!!! From a practical point of view, it doesn’t matter because I can almost reach the TV it’s so close to the bed. I discover I can change channels, but not volume or on/off with the remote. Of course, I had forgotten that TV programs begin an hour earlier in central time zones, so now Allie McBeal is almost over.

I decide to touch up my suit for the next day, find the iron and watch it as it spits up all over my silk blouse. Fall back is an emergency white T-shirt in my bag. Won’t I be hip tomorrow?!


[This message has been edited by svpii (edited 10-25-2000).]

"and you’re right Cigarman"...Music to my ears!

Nice report....I've been wearing my fall back emergency t-shirt since Friday.