A Trip to the Emmys
Sep 11, 2000 | 3:36 pm
#1
Original Poster
Original Member
Join Date: May 1998
Location: Kirkland, WA
Posts: 6,932
A Trip to the Emmys
Three Bites for Seven Dollars
No longer fitting into either of the two tuxedos I owned, I put together a makeshift one from black slacks and a black Jhane Barnes jacket. I had a funky white dress shirt and a black bowtie but no clip-on suspenders so I used the belt and slapped a cummerbund over it for camouflage. Hunnybear drove me in the black Cabrio to Century City where I waited for Barton to pick me up in the limousine.
Barton and Helen had thoughtfully stocked the limo with wine and champagne in addition to the standard decanters of liquor. Grant, Rhonda, and Nicole were already aboard so we just picked up Richard, Brenda, and me and headed downtown. Rhonda was a TV actress herself, having played the giggling shoe saleswoman in love with Al Bundy on Married with Children some years ago. Barton, having directed a documentary that won three Emmys in his previous life, was a member of the Academy and scored us the tickets.
Barry, our driver, weaved in and out of lanes to get us to the front of the line at the Shrine Auditorium. It was not quite 4 p.m. and the show didnt start until five but they said they close the doors at 4:30 so we hurried. We entered just to the left of the red-carpet area where the celebrities come in, between two sizable stands for the crowds to watch them enter. We saw Dennis Franz of NYPD Blue come right up and talk to someone over the red velvet rope separating us. Then the rope ended and we were right there, mixing with the stars.
They closed the lobby bars just as we arrived in an effort to get people seated but fortunately the bars were still open on the second and third floors. Drinks were available for sale at the usual prices and they had complimentary Red Bull, iced tea, and Evian. However, if you just asked for bottled water you got the $3 Arrowhead rather than the complimentary Evian. Unappetizing hors doeuvres were available at ridiculous prices: $3 a bite or three bites for $7! But we didnt come for the food. We came for the spectacle!
The auditorium was well designed with hardly a bad seat in the house. We had perfect lines of sight in the second balcony and could even recognize some of the people sitting in the front row, our friend Dennis Franz and The Sopranos star James Gandolfini among them.
The three-hour ceremony itself was probably better enjoyed on television than in person, especially since they didnt show the commercials to us, usually the most interesting part of the show. But we didnt care: we were dressed to the nines and mingling with the beautiful people. Fortunately they kept the bar open the whole time. I went down to the first-floor mens room to see if I could stand next to somebody famous but I didnt recognize anyone. Finally it was over. We hustled down to the lobby to stargaze as the nominees moved through the lobby to the Governors ball. There we saw Jack Lemmon, one of the greats, who won an Emmy for Tuesdays with Morrie, and the two least promiscuous girls from Sex in the City, one of the only shows Id watched in the last few years.
Our limo showed up and as we waited in traffic Barton leaned out the window and got a Starbucks mint from the actor who plays Wills boyfriend on Will and Grace. Apparently waiting for limos is a good time to mix with stars. Some people just rent a tux and go hang out pretending theyre waiting for a limo so they can strike up conversations.
We tried to crash a few parties but were inadvertently omitted from the guest lists, although we did see a young man with a replica Emmy (with price tag still on the bottom) get into Mortons with a good story. Instead we headed to Mr. Chows, a small Beverly Hills Chinese eatery with excellent food and service. We let the waiter order for us and really had only a very few dishes before we cut him off. As a rule I dont eat dessert and everyone followed my lead. Richard grabbed the check before I could look at it but I think it came to about $50 each including tip. They had a $25 minimum per person!
The limo made the rounds and dropped us all off after midnight. It was a memorable event for sure but underscored for me the cardboard thinness of the faade of the television industry. It was an event not designed to please its audience but rather designed for the audience to please it, to concoct a spectacle for the world to believe. Host Garry Shandling said not one word to us when the cameras were off, nor was there entertainment of any form during the interminable commercial breaks. The most interaction we had with the organizers of the event, other than being told were to go, was the eternal lie of the live studio audience: the call for more and more applause.
As always, though, the right company makes for a great evening. Barton put together an all-star cast of characters for our limo prowl through LA and it was a night none of us will soon forget. And well always be able to say we were there.
The end.
------------------
I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com
No longer fitting into either of the two tuxedos I owned, I put together a makeshift one from black slacks and a black Jhane Barnes jacket. I had a funky white dress shirt and a black bowtie but no clip-on suspenders so I used the belt and slapped a cummerbund over it for camouflage. Hunnybear drove me in the black Cabrio to Century City where I waited for Barton to pick me up in the limousine.
Barton and Helen had thoughtfully stocked the limo with wine and champagne in addition to the standard decanters of liquor. Grant, Rhonda, and Nicole were already aboard so we just picked up Richard, Brenda, and me and headed downtown. Rhonda was a TV actress herself, having played the giggling shoe saleswoman in love with Al Bundy on Married with Children some years ago. Barton, having directed a documentary that won three Emmys in his previous life, was a member of the Academy and scored us the tickets.
Barry, our driver, weaved in and out of lanes to get us to the front of the line at the Shrine Auditorium. It was not quite 4 p.m. and the show didnt start until five but they said they close the doors at 4:30 so we hurried. We entered just to the left of the red-carpet area where the celebrities come in, between two sizable stands for the crowds to watch them enter. We saw Dennis Franz of NYPD Blue come right up and talk to someone over the red velvet rope separating us. Then the rope ended and we were right there, mixing with the stars.
They closed the lobby bars just as we arrived in an effort to get people seated but fortunately the bars were still open on the second and third floors. Drinks were available for sale at the usual prices and they had complimentary Red Bull, iced tea, and Evian. However, if you just asked for bottled water you got the $3 Arrowhead rather than the complimentary Evian. Unappetizing hors doeuvres were available at ridiculous prices: $3 a bite or three bites for $7! But we didnt come for the food. We came for the spectacle!
The auditorium was well designed with hardly a bad seat in the house. We had perfect lines of sight in the second balcony and could even recognize some of the people sitting in the front row, our friend Dennis Franz and The Sopranos star James Gandolfini among them.
The three-hour ceremony itself was probably better enjoyed on television than in person, especially since they didnt show the commercials to us, usually the most interesting part of the show. But we didnt care: we were dressed to the nines and mingling with the beautiful people. Fortunately they kept the bar open the whole time. I went down to the first-floor mens room to see if I could stand next to somebody famous but I didnt recognize anyone. Finally it was over. We hustled down to the lobby to stargaze as the nominees moved through the lobby to the Governors ball. There we saw Jack Lemmon, one of the greats, who won an Emmy for Tuesdays with Morrie, and the two least promiscuous girls from Sex in the City, one of the only shows Id watched in the last few years.
Our limo showed up and as we waited in traffic Barton leaned out the window and got a Starbucks mint from the actor who plays Wills boyfriend on Will and Grace. Apparently waiting for limos is a good time to mix with stars. Some people just rent a tux and go hang out pretending theyre waiting for a limo so they can strike up conversations.
We tried to crash a few parties but were inadvertently omitted from the guest lists, although we did see a young man with a replica Emmy (with price tag still on the bottom) get into Mortons with a good story. Instead we headed to Mr. Chows, a small Beverly Hills Chinese eatery with excellent food and service. We let the waiter order for us and really had only a very few dishes before we cut him off. As a rule I dont eat dessert and everyone followed my lead. Richard grabbed the check before I could look at it but I think it came to about $50 each including tip. They had a $25 minimum per person!
The limo made the rounds and dropped us all off after midnight. It was a memorable event for sure but underscored for me the cardboard thinness of the faade of the television industry. It was an event not designed to please its audience but rather designed for the audience to please it, to concoct a spectacle for the world to believe. Host Garry Shandling said not one word to us when the cameras were off, nor was there entertainment of any form during the interminable commercial breaks. The most interaction we had with the organizers of the event, other than being told were to go, was the eternal lie of the live studio audience: the call for more and more applause.
As always, though, the right company makes for a great evening. Barton put together an all-star cast of characters for our limo prowl through LA and it was a night none of us will soon forget. And well always be able to say we were there.
The end.
------------------
I hope you enjoy my Lion Tales. For photos, past travelogues, subscriptions, and more, see www.liontales.com
Sep 11, 2000 | 3:54 pm
#2
Original Member
Join Date: May 1998
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 1,310
Well QL, sometimes you just get luckier in the men's room...in the 80's I took a piss next to Casey Kasem at an NAB Radio convention in LA,,,while his wife Jean (who was on Cheers for a couple years) waited patiently for him outside..
Sep 11, 2000 | 4:06 pm
#3
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Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: PDX
Programs: On a collision course with Kettledom
Posts: 25,550
Maybe instead of Coupon Connection we can have Tux Exchange, with those of us having tuxes we've "outgrown" can exchange them with others.
The awards on TV were OK (the middle hour dragged) and the winners were reasonable for a change (aside from the continuing criminal failure to recognize television's best show, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer").
The awards on TV were OK (the middle hour dragged) and the winners were reasonable for a change (aside from the continuing criminal failure to recognize television's best show, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer").
Sep 11, 2000 | 7:46 pm
#5
Join Date: May 1999
Location: New York City
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Posts: 4,080
Nice story, although I would have liked to have heard what kind of hors d'oeuvre you get for $3. I've been to a lot of bar mitzvahs that would have become complete busts with that policy. 
Sep 13, 2000 | 2:20 pm
#8
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Central New Jersey
Programs: UA-Platimum 2 MM, HH-Gold, MR-Lifetime Gold, Hyatt-Discoverist
Posts: 6,238
Yes, great report....I watched the first hour, then fell asleep. I always wondered what went on during the commercials--and now that I know, I'm glad I'm not missing anything 