Summer Holidays...
Aug 31, 2014 | 12:11 pm
#91
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Usually travelling
Programs: BAEC, Aeroplan, SQ, VS, Lifetime Diamond Club Appreciator, Mucci
Posts: 519
Aug 31, 2014 | 12:49 pm
#92
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: S W London
Programs: BAC Silver, Emirates, BOAC Junior Jet Club, ASA Bronze, Silver and Gold Badges
Posts: 2,503
Just read this 'cover to cover' in one sitting.
Cheered up my back-to-work-tomorrow Sunday no end.
Thanks pal ^
Is there more to come?
Cheered up my back-to-work-tomorrow Sunday no end.
Thanks pal ^
Is there more to come?
Sep 2, 2014 | 6:29 am
#93
Original Poster
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Programs: UA GS-2MM, QF LTG, EK Gold, Marriott Amb, Hyatt Globalist
Posts: 4,006
I dont know if you remember your first time in Tokyo. Im having trouble myself. And to be honest, Ive been sitting on this for a few days as I really want to do Japan justice. Its such an important place to everyone who loves travel. It is to me at least.
My first recollections of Tokyo was when I was based in Singapore, working for a big telco at the time. We had an office in Japan and I eventually found an excuse to visit. At their expense. Which is always a good thing.
It was before the Narita airport terminals were upgraded, prior to the Narita Express, and prior to the existence of the internet (as far as the browsing public were concerned). And prior to sites like TripAdvisor and FT.
I do remember being threatened with death if I caught a cab though between the airport and the city. For those of you who dont know, NRT is about 40 miles from central Tokyo. A one-way cab fare could run you $300. Thats in Uncle Sam money, not Yen or Pesos.
Try asking Google how much it is to catch a cab from the airport and even it says dont be stupid, use the train or the bus. Which most people do.
About 10-years ago, I started to learn to fly a helicopter. My wife simply put it down to a mid life crisis which has been going on since the day we met. I put it down to ticking off one of those things on my bucket list. She once asked me to share this so called list with her, which I will now do with you:
1. Angelina Jolie
2. Amber Heard
3. Blake Lively
4. All 3 at the same time. In a hot tub.
5. Rear engine German Sports car
6. Mid engine Italian Sports car
7. Learning to fly a helicopter
All I remember is her laughing out loud and with one foul swoop of a big black marker pen, she violently crossed out items 1 through 6. No sense of adventure, that woman. I mean seriously.
Anyway.
What has any of this to do with Japan? I hear you ask. Well, Im about to tell you.
When you learn to fly, or for that matter, jump out of a plane with a bedsheet stuffed into a backpack, there is a thing called sensory overload. In the case of parachuting, its when the ground rushes towards you at an alarming rate of knots and your brain simply cant process everything fast enough. In the case of helicopters, its when something breaks and then the machine goes from a technical marvel to homicidal maniac in just under 4 seconds. Apparently, the same thing happens to most men when they are standing at an alter (the sensory overload bit, not the homicidal maniac bit). Except of course if you live in Texas.
This same effect occurs when you visit Japan for the first time. For most people at least. In a good way.
There are however a couple of hurdles to overcome. Firstly, there is the language issue. As the world has progressed and travel has become more accessible even countries like France have reluctantly agreed to try and make tourists more welcome and perhaps put up a few more signs in English. And to try and refrain from spitting in their food so much.
Travel through Europe now and most passport control officers will use language you understand. We even speak English in Australia. In New Zealand, perhaps not so much.
But the Japanese. Well they missed the memo. Actually, thats not true. They received it alright, but simply threw it in the trash, thinking it a promotional flyer for some weird religion.
I remember checking into a hotel for the first time. It was a local chain and it was such a challenge, I had to have a Japanese colleague help me. When youd catch a cab, youd have to have the doorman write the directions down in Japanese. Thats the assuming the doorman could understand you. And catching the subway for the very first time was probably one of the most challenging things you could ever do. Shinjuku station is not for the feint hearted, given that it has over 200 exits and is the worlds busiest transport hub. Period.
So when I told number one son that we were going to Tokyo, his face lit up.
Are we going on ANA? he excitedly asked
Yes
Good, because thats my favorite airline. Besides Emirates
Well, Im glad I have been able to accommodate your flying preferences
Where are we sitting?
On a seat I said sarcastically
But where in the plane are we sitting
I rolled my eyes and said to myself that I may have created a monster.
Truthfully, ANA is one of my favorites too. I love the service. And the food. As does he. I have never seen a child eat so many bowls of udon noodles in flight.
I was able to get 2 business class seats in the middle. I think the only ANA flights I have ever been on have been award ones. Via UA miles. Or silly US Airways miles. Dont start me on trying to have a rational conversation with a US Airways person on the phone. Last time I booked a flight, I spent 27 agonizing minutes explaining that I wanted to go to N-A-R-I-T-A and not W-I-T-C-H-I-T-A.
Lets not go there right now. Later perhaps.
The flight was rather uneventful and we landed in Japan, rearing to go. Apart from the fact that we hadnt even made customs before the child got lost and was texting me Dad, where r u?
It takes a lot to impress a teenager, especially when it comes to cleanliness so it was with some degree of surprise when he told me that he couldnt believe how clean it was. To be honest, I was amazed he even noticed given the state of his bedroom. From the airport to the train to the cab. Everything was spotless.
As you might have guessed, this whole trip was planned on the fly. Within minutes in fact. I hadnt given any thought as to what we were going to do or what we were going to see. We landed on Tues and were heading back to the US on Friday evening.
Even the internet didnt have a whole lot of suggestions for what to do with a hybrid young human. I call them hybrids because they think theyre smart but in reality, Old Chevys still blow them into the weeds.
The activity we both unanimously agreed on doing was eating. Like Kings. So after I made the child have a good wash, I said that he needed to try Teppanyaki. The way it was supposed to be. One of my favorite places was a restaurant within the Hilton, on the second floor. But as luck would have it, the whole second floor was closed for renovations.
So we powered up Google and found a place right across the street from the Hyatt. While the food was only ok, the view from this place was spectacular.
Now my Japanese is relatively limited. I know how to say please bring me a beer. And the words quickly and hurry. Because they are always useful no matter what the language. And for some strange reason, I also learnt how to say please give me your underpants and bra. But I think that was in a dodgy bar in Roppongi. And because this is a G rated channel, we cant really discuss it any further.
I decided to impress the boy by telling the waiter to bring me a beer as soon as we sat down at the grill. Moments later, the eager to please young man arrived with 2 draft beers, in rather quaint frosted glasses.
Rather than trying to explain to this wayward staff member that my son was still a little young to drink (even by Australian standards) I waved him off.
Dad, can I have a sip
Yes, just one
He pensively picked up the glass but as soon as the beer got within range of his sense of smell and his sense of taste, his sense of logic left the building. Rather than take a petite sip, he chugged all but 10 per cent of the contents in the blink of an eye.
To be fair, he drinks water like this. And he can make a soda disappear faster than Houdini. Not one member of staff blinked though. Instead, another young waiter was at our side within seconds, gesturing with his hands if we wanted another.
I politely declined and then suggested to the child that he might want to wait until College before he drinks beer at that pace.
Given the amount of food we ate at dinner, I dont think it would have matter how much draft beer he consumed.
I thought we should at least try to plan something for tomorrow. So as we staggered back to the hotel (from the eating not the drinking!) I suggested we head to the Fish market and also this area famous for its electronics stores - called Akihabara. His face contorted somewhat when he heard the words "fish market" but went from zero to sixty at the first mention of the word "electronics".
Good then, we had a plan. But like all well laid plans, (with us anyway), nothing went the way it was supposed to.
Uno momento...
My first recollections of Tokyo was when I was based in Singapore, working for a big telco at the time. We had an office in Japan and I eventually found an excuse to visit. At their expense. Which is always a good thing.
It was before the Narita airport terminals were upgraded, prior to the Narita Express, and prior to the existence of the internet (as far as the browsing public were concerned). And prior to sites like TripAdvisor and FT.
I do remember being threatened with death if I caught a cab though between the airport and the city. For those of you who dont know, NRT is about 40 miles from central Tokyo. A one-way cab fare could run you $300. Thats in Uncle Sam money, not Yen or Pesos.
Try asking Google how much it is to catch a cab from the airport and even it says dont be stupid, use the train or the bus. Which most people do.
About 10-years ago, I started to learn to fly a helicopter. My wife simply put it down to a mid life crisis which has been going on since the day we met. I put it down to ticking off one of those things on my bucket list. She once asked me to share this so called list with her, which I will now do with you:
1. Angelina Jolie
2. Amber Heard
3. Blake Lively
4. All 3 at the same time. In a hot tub.
5. Rear engine German Sports car
6. Mid engine Italian Sports car
7. Learning to fly a helicopter
All I remember is her laughing out loud and with one foul swoop of a big black marker pen, she violently crossed out items 1 through 6. No sense of adventure, that woman. I mean seriously.
Anyway.
What has any of this to do with Japan? I hear you ask. Well, Im about to tell you.
When you learn to fly, or for that matter, jump out of a plane with a bedsheet stuffed into a backpack, there is a thing called sensory overload. In the case of parachuting, its when the ground rushes towards you at an alarming rate of knots and your brain simply cant process everything fast enough. In the case of helicopters, its when something breaks and then the machine goes from a technical marvel to homicidal maniac in just under 4 seconds. Apparently, the same thing happens to most men when they are standing at an alter (the sensory overload bit, not the homicidal maniac bit). Except of course if you live in Texas.
This same effect occurs when you visit Japan for the first time. For most people at least. In a good way.
There are however a couple of hurdles to overcome. Firstly, there is the language issue. As the world has progressed and travel has become more accessible even countries like France have reluctantly agreed to try and make tourists more welcome and perhaps put up a few more signs in English. And to try and refrain from spitting in their food so much.
Travel through Europe now and most passport control officers will use language you understand. We even speak English in Australia. In New Zealand, perhaps not so much.
But the Japanese. Well they missed the memo. Actually, thats not true. They received it alright, but simply threw it in the trash, thinking it a promotional flyer for some weird religion.
I remember checking into a hotel for the first time. It was a local chain and it was such a challenge, I had to have a Japanese colleague help me. When youd catch a cab, youd have to have the doorman write the directions down in Japanese. Thats the assuming the doorman could understand you. And catching the subway for the very first time was probably one of the most challenging things you could ever do. Shinjuku station is not for the feint hearted, given that it has over 200 exits and is the worlds busiest transport hub. Period.
So when I told number one son that we were going to Tokyo, his face lit up.
Are we going on ANA? he excitedly asked
Yes
Good, because thats my favorite airline. Besides Emirates
Well, Im glad I have been able to accommodate your flying preferences
Where are we sitting?
On a seat I said sarcastically
But where in the plane are we sitting
I rolled my eyes and said to myself that I may have created a monster.
Truthfully, ANA is one of my favorites too. I love the service. And the food. As does he. I have never seen a child eat so many bowls of udon noodles in flight.
I was able to get 2 business class seats in the middle. I think the only ANA flights I have ever been on have been award ones. Via UA miles. Or silly US Airways miles. Dont start me on trying to have a rational conversation with a US Airways person on the phone. Last time I booked a flight, I spent 27 agonizing minutes explaining that I wanted to go to N-A-R-I-T-A and not W-I-T-C-H-I-T-A.
Lets not go there right now. Later perhaps.
The flight was rather uneventful and we landed in Japan, rearing to go. Apart from the fact that we hadnt even made customs before the child got lost and was texting me Dad, where r u?
It takes a lot to impress a teenager, especially when it comes to cleanliness so it was with some degree of surprise when he told me that he couldnt believe how clean it was. To be honest, I was amazed he even noticed given the state of his bedroom. From the airport to the train to the cab. Everything was spotless.
As you might have guessed, this whole trip was planned on the fly. Within minutes in fact. I hadnt given any thought as to what we were going to do or what we were going to see. We landed on Tues and were heading back to the US on Friday evening.
Even the internet didnt have a whole lot of suggestions for what to do with a hybrid young human. I call them hybrids because they think theyre smart but in reality, Old Chevys still blow them into the weeds.
The activity we both unanimously agreed on doing was eating. Like Kings. So after I made the child have a good wash, I said that he needed to try Teppanyaki. The way it was supposed to be. One of my favorite places was a restaurant within the Hilton, on the second floor. But as luck would have it, the whole second floor was closed for renovations.
So we powered up Google and found a place right across the street from the Hyatt. While the food was only ok, the view from this place was spectacular.
Now my Japanese is relatively limited. I know how to say please bring me a beer. And the words quickly and hurry. Because they are always useful no matter what the language. And for some strange reason, I also learnt how to say please give me your underpants and bra. But I think that was in a dodgy bar in Roppongi. And because this is a G rated channel, we cant really discuss it any further.
I decided to impress the boy by telling the waiter to bring me a beer as soon as we sat down at the grill. Moments later, the eager to please young man arrived with 2 draft beers, in rather quaint frosted glasses.
Rather than trying to explain to this wayward staff member that my son was still a little young to drink (even by Australian standards) I waved him off.
Dad, can I have a sip
Yes, just one
He pensively picked up the glass but as soon as the beer got within range of his sense of smell and his sense of taste, his sense of logic left the building. Rather than take a petite sip, he chugged all but 10 per cent of the contents in the blink of an eye.
To be fair, he drinks water like this. And he can make a soda disappear faster than Houdini. Not one member of staff blinked though. Instead, another young waiter was at our side within seconds, gesturing with his hands if we wanted another.
I politely declined and then suggested to the child that he might want to wait until College before he drinks beer at that pace.
Given the amount of food we ate at dinner, I dont think it would have matter how much draft beer he consumed.
I thought we should at least try to plan something for tomorrow. So as we staggered back to the hotel (from the eating not the drinking!) I suggested we head to the Fish market and also this area famous for its electronics stores - called Akihabara. His face contorted somewhat when he heard the words "fish market" but went from zero to sixty at the first mention of the word "electronics".
Good then, we had a plan. But like all well laid plans, (with us anyway), nothing went the way it was supposed to.
Uno momento...
Sep 3, 2014 | 9:17 am
#97
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Washington D.C. via Sao Paulo via Houston via Washington D.C. via Boston via New York
Posts: 1,172
reading a trip report from Eightblack is like watching your favorite TV show, I can not wait for the next episode and the suspense between seasons...oooofff
Sep 4, 2014 | 5:57 am
#98
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: CDG
Programs: TK Elite, FB Plat
Posts: 117
Sep 4, 2014 | 4:35 pm
#99
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Luton, UK
Programs: BA, VA, EK Silver,
Posts: 55
Welcome back EB! We have all missed you. Your family travels sound a lot like mine, except I was the organiser and therefore took all the blame.....
Like the time I fell in the Shannon. 8 months pregnant. But that's another story.
Like the time I fell in the Shannon. 8 months pregnant. But that's another story.
Sep 10, 2014 | 8:48 am
#101
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Programs: AA, Mucci!
Posts: 16,601
Sep 10, 2014 | 10:43 am
#102
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ormond Beach, FL
Programs: AS MVPG 75k, DL PM, Bonvoy Platinum
Posts: 51
Still patiently waiting...checking this thread everyday just in case I miss a subscription update!! I almost spit my coffee out while reading one morning, a couple weeks ago 
Sep 12, 2014 | 4:10 pm
#103
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Nottingham, UK
Programs: HHonors - Diamond, AA - EXP
Posts: 150
Just back from two weeks in Orlando, 12 different parks and two we got to do twice to totally fill the 14 days! I feel your pain! I certainly couldn't have written up a report like this though, next instalment please 
Sep 13, 2014 | 7:24 pm
#104
Original Poster
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Programs: UA GS-2MM, QF LTG, EK Gold, Marriott Amb, Hyatt Globalist
Posts: 4,006
For those of you who havent stayed at the Hyatt Regency Shinjuku, its a perfectly adequate place to lay your head. Especially in Japan.
Thankfully, I had managed to book a room with 2 double beds. Queens I think they call them. And the obligatory Toto Washlet toilet with Power Deodorizer. My son still thinks these are the best things since sliced bread until he pressed the wrong button on the control panel.
Hes in there doing his business, (incidentally, I have no idea why kids sing when theyre in the bathroom). Most times, Im doing everything I can to concentrate on the job at hand and trust me, after Ive finished, heres nothing to sing about.
Anyway, hes whiling away the time on the throne, all the while giving me a running commentary on the progress of his ablutions. He gets to the piece de resistance and presses the wash button. But instead of hitting the picture of the little man, he hits the picture of the little woman. This activates the power washing head to squirt water in a place Im pretty sure hasnt been squirted before.
You can be sure he only made that mistake once.
I think I mentioned earlier that I hadnt really planned any sort of itinerary for our quick trip to Tokyo. We both subscribe to the travel mantra of lets just see where the day takes us. This approach does not however work if my wife and/or daughter are anywhere near us. But its fine for us.
We decided to hit the sack the combination of the long flight, the excitement of arriving into Japan, the large meal and now the prospect of having a decent sleep was all too appealing. I think I was out cold within minutes.
- - - - - -
You know when you are woken from a deep sleep and your brain is having trouble getting your body to accept the inputs. Like move your arms. Move your legs. Open your eyes.
My son reckons I was in a coma, and not simply sleeping heavily.
I rub my eyes, trying to work out a) where I was and b) what time it was and c) what the hell was my child doing standing fully dressed at the end of the bed at some ungodly hour of the morning.
What are you doing? I stammer
Cmon Dad, wake up, we have to go
What, go where?
To the pub
I definitely thought I was dreaming at this point or had inadvertently taken multiple Ambien tablets with perhaps a far too healthy swig of Sake.
To where!
To this Irish Pub in Tokyo
What for?
To watch the World Cup. Germany is playing Brazil
Youre kidding right?
No, now get up. The concierge is going to organize a cab to take us as the trains dont run until 5am
What the hell time is it
Its 4.20am
Youre not serious
Yes, now put your pants on
You sound like your mother
Dad, thats weird
Why cant we watch it on TV?
We can but I want to watch it on the big screen
So he proceeds to drag me out of bed at odark thirty and I drag my sorry butt into the shower, put whatever clothes I had on the night before and head down to the lobby. I glance at myself in the hallway mirror and the reflection tells me I look like a homeless person.
My son on the other hand is full of beans and is simultaneously asking the concierge to fetch us a cab and then looking up directions to what must be one of the only Irish pubs in downtown Tokyo. It seemed hell and gone from the Hyatt.
We get into the cab, he thrusts his smart phone in the polite drivers direction, presses one button and blow me down with a feather, the silly Samsung device spits out directions to the Irish establishment in perfect Japanese. Well, maybe not perfect, but good enough that the taxi driver, nodded his head and said hai, hai
What seemed like a million yen later we roll up to this dodgy looking bar. Son strides up to the front door, and theres a guy there selling admission tickets. The skinny kid was barely awake.
Dad you have to pay he barks
Yes, yes, I realize that. I have been paying since you were born
The bar was one of the seedy little joints that looked like it needed a good wash. The inside had literally been infused with years of cigarette smoke it was more than stale, it was permanent. Defining in fact.
This is great he exclaims
Im glad you like it with just a hint of sarcasm
Dont touch anything? I bark
Calm the farm Dad, its a pub
We grab 2 seats at the bar, with ample view of the big screen (which had a projector). Obviously the thrifty Irish bar owners had found a bargain on eBay and thought the projector from a retired Pan Am 747, circa 1973 would still be perfectly adequate. For the most part, it was given that this was an Irish pub and that one of the conditions of entry is that you must be well and truly drunk or you must be fully prepared to give it your best shot once inside.
Admission price included 2 free drinks so I said to the man at the bar that I would have a red bull and vodka. Number one son said that he would simply have red bull on its own.
The Japanese barman happily obliged and we proceeded to watch Brazil and Germany fight for a spot in the finals. As I slowly started to regain consciousness, the game started to pick up. Truth be told, Im not really into the world cup, but when youre in a dodgy bar in another country, full of true believers who are all mad and slightly inebriated the excitement is infectious. My son thought it was a cracker.
The friendly barman kept plying us with drinks not able to understand a word of English but understanding enough that the old man (eg me) was going to be picking up the tab at the end of the game.
When Germany started to pull clear ahead, (the final score ended up being Brazil 1, Germany 7), the little pub was heaving. You couldnt swing a cat in the joint.
The red bull and vodkas were having their desired affect in the sense that I was now fully awake. But so was someone else.
How many have you had of those?, I asked my child
I dont know, but they taste good
How about you switch to water?
Why, youre drinking the same
Then I see it.
That inebriated glaze that starts at the center of a persons eyes and slowly washes over the rest of their face. I grab his glass and have a taste. Then I taste mine
Holy crap I say slightly startled
What?
Nothing
How are you feeling?
Happy he emphatically states, with that boyish grin from ear to ear
Why dont you sit on the bar stool and take the weight off
Ive been trying to for the last 10 minutes but theres something wrong with them
Really
Yes, theyre wobbly
I summons the barman
Chief, what this? as I point to my sons drink
Red Bull Wodka he says in perfect pidgeon English
And whats mine?
Red Bull Wodka too, he proudly exclaims
I had visions of his mother hearing about this and the fact that our number one son, less that 24 hours in a country hes never been to has had a beer with his father at dinner and then proceeded to get hammered at 5am in a dive of a bar in a seedy area of Tokyo, while watching the World Cup and reeking of cigarette smoke.
Dad, this is the best adventure training ever, he beams. And then promptly falls off the bar stool again.
I think we had better head home.
Good idea, Im hungry
So we grabbed another cab and hoofed it back to the hotel. He proceeded to eat like an inmate on death row, and while I was somewhat concerned for his health, I kept telling myself that a 13 year old liver is all but bullet proof.
After breakfast, we decided that after all that excitement, we would have a wee lie down. Which we did. But this time, it was him who was sucking the wallpaper off the walls within minutes of his head touching the pillow.
I decided to catch up some email but was interrupted by someone calling via Skype.
It was home. It was She Who Must Be Obeyed. Pensively I hit the answer button
Hello honey, how are things?
Theyre good I could feel the hair on the back of my neck start to rise in fear
How is my son?
Hes fine, just having a bit of a sleep
What have you been doing?
Ah, we went and watched the World Cup
Was it good?
Yes, it was perfect
Where did you watch it?
Your son found a sports bar in downtown Tokyo
You took him to a sports bar?
Let me talk to him
Hes sleeping
I turned the laptop camera to the bed to prove it
Why does he have his clothes on?
I dont know. You know how lazy teenage boys are
Even when they are 6000 miles away, mothers know when something is wrong. The thing is I couldnt wake the child with a detonator. He was out cold.
Mercifully, I managed to squirm my way out of what could have turned into a full on Spanish inquisition and my wife was probably just thankful that we had arrived and that we were both alive and in one piece. That woman has no faith.
As the Skype session started to wind down, she asked
So what are you 2 going to do tomorrow?
He wants to watch the second game, which is between the Netherlands and Argentina
Hell enjoy that
You have no idea, I muttered to myself, but determined to ensure that if we did end up in another seedy establishment, I would ply the child with H20 only.
So that was our first real day in Japan. Uneventful if you ask me. Only 2 more days to. How hard could that possibly be
Thankfully, I had managed to book a room with 2 double beds. Queens I think they call them. And the obligatory Toto Washlet toilet with Power Deodorizer. My son still thinks these are the best things since sliced bread until he pressed the wrong button on the control panel.
Hes in there doing his business, (incidentally, I have no idea why kids sing when theyre in the bathroom). Most times, Im doing everything I can to concentrate on the job at hand and trust me, after Ive finished, heres nothing to sing about.
Anyway, hes whiling away the time on the throne, all the while giving me a running commentary on the progress of his ablutions. He gets to the piece de resistance and presses the wash button. But instead of hitting the picture of the little man, he hits the picture of the little woman. This activates the power washing head to squirt water in a place Im pretty sure hasnt been squirted before.
You can be sure he only made that mistake once.
I think I mentioned earlier that I hadnt really planned any sort of itinerary for our quick trip to Tokyo. We both subscribe to the travel mantra of lets just see where the day takes us. This approach does not however work if my wife and/or daughter are anywhere near us. But its fine for us.
We decided to hit the sack the combination of the long flight, the excitement of arriving into Japan, the large meal and now the prospect of having a decent sleep was all too appealing. I think I was out cold within minutes.
- - - - - -
You know when you are woken from a deep sleep and your brain is having trouble getting your body to accept the inputs. Like move your arms. Move your legs. Open your eyes.
My son reckons I was in a coma, and not simply sleeping heavily.
I rub my eyes, trying to work out a) where I was and b) what time it was and c) what the hell was my child doing standing fully dressed at the end of the bed at some ungodly hour of the morning.
What are you doing? I stammer
Cmon Dad, wake up, we have to go
What, go where?
To the pub
I definitely thought I was dreaming at this point or had inadvertently taken multiple Ambien tablets with perhaps a far too healthy swig of Sake.
To where!
To this Irish Pub in Tokyo
What for?
To watch the World Cup. Germany is playing Brazil
Youre kidding right?
No, now get up. The concierge is going to organize a cab to take us as the trains dont run until 5am
What the hell time is it
Its 4.20am
Youre not serious
Yes, now put your pants on
You sound like your mother
Dad, thats weird
Why cant we watch it on TV?
We can but I want to watch it on the big screen
So he proceeds to drag me out of bed at odark thirty and I drag my sorry butt into the shower, put whatever clothes I had on the night before and head down to the lobby. I glance at myself in the hallway mirror and the reflection tells me I look like a homeless person.
My son on the other hand is full of beans and is simultaneously asking the concierge to fetch us a cab and then looking up directions to what must be one of the only Irish pubs in downtown Tokyo. It seemed hell and gone from the Hyatt.
We get into the cab, he thrusts his smart phone in the polite drivers direction, presses one button and blow me down with a feather, the silly Samsung device spits out directions to the Irish establishment in perfect Japanese. Well, maybe not perfect, but good enough that the taxi driver, nodded his head and said hai, hai
What seemed like a million yen later we roll up to this dodgy looking bar. Son strides up to the front door, and theres a guy there selling admission tickets. The skinny kid was barely awake.
Dad you have to pay he barks
Yes, yes, I realize that. I have been paying since you were born
The bar was one of the seedy little joints that looked like it needed a good wash. The inside had literally been infused with years of cigarette smoke it was more than stale, it was permanent. Defining in fact.
This is great he exclaims
Im glad you like it with just a hint of sarcasm
Dont touch anything? I bark
Calm the farm Dad, its a pub
We grab 2 seats at the bar, with ample view of the big screen (which had a projector). Obviously the thrifty Irish bar owners had found a bargain on eBay and thought the projector from a retired Pan Am 747, circa 1973 would still be perfectly adequate. For the most part, it was given that this was an Irish pub and that one of the conditions of entry is that you must be well and truly drunk or you must be fully prepared to give it your best shot once inside.
Admission price included 2 free drinks so I said to the man at the bar that I would have a red bull and vodka. Number one son said that he would simply have red bull on its own.
The Japanese barman happily obliged and we proceeded to watch Brazil and Germany fight for a spot in the finals. As I slowly started to regain consciousness, the game started to pick up. Truth be told, Im not really into the world cup, but when youre in a dodgy bar in another country, full of true believers who are all mad and slightly inebriated the excitement is infectious. My son thought it was a cracker.
The friendly barman kept plying us with drinks not able to understand a word of English but understanding enough that the old man (eg me) was going to be picking up the tab at the end of the game.
When Germany started to pull clear ahead, (the final score ended up being Brazil 1, Germany 7), the little pub was heaving. You couldnt swing a cat in the joint.
The red bull and vodkas were having their desired affect in the sense that I was now fully awake. But so was someone else.
How many have you had of those?, I asked my child
I dont know, but they taste good
How about you switch to water?
Why, youre drinking the same
Then I see it.
That inebriated glaze that starts at the center of a persons eyes and slowly washes over the rest of their face. I grab his glass and have a taste. Then I taste mine
Holy crap I say slightly startled
What?
Nothing
How are you feeling?
Happy he emphatically states, with that boyish grin from ear to ear
Why dont you sit on the bar stool and take the weight off
Ive been trying to for the last 10 minutes but theres something wrong with them
Really
Yes, theyre wobbly
I summons the barman
Chief, what this? as I point to my sons drink
Red Bull Wodka he says in perfect pidgeon English
And whats mine?
Red Bull Wodka too, he proudly exclaims
I had visions of his mother hearing about this and the fact that our number one son, less that 24 hours in a country hes never been to has had a beer with his father at dinner and then proceeded to get hammered at 5am in a dive of a bar in a seedy area of Tokyo, while watching the World Cup and reeking of cigarette smoke.
Dad, this is the best adventure training ever, he beams. And then promptly falls off the bar stool again.
I think we had better head home.
Good idea, Im hungry
So we grabbed another cab and hoofed it back to the hotel. He proceeded to eat like an inmate on death row, and while I was somewhat concerned for his health, I kept telling myself that a 13 year old liver is all but bullet proof.
After breakfast, we decided that after all that excitement, we would have a wee lie down. Which we did. But this time, it was him who was sucking the wallpaper off the walls within minutes of his head touching the pillow.
I decided to catch up some email but was interrupted by someone calling via Skype.
It was home. It was She Who Must Be Obeyed. Pensively I hit the answer button
Hello honey, how are things?
Theyre good I could feel the hair on the back of my neck start to rise in fear
How is my son?
Hes fine, just having a bit of a sleep
What have you been doing?
Ah, we went and watched the World Cup
Was it good?
Yes, it was perfect
Where did you watch it?
Your son found a sports bar in downtown Tokyo
You took him to a sports bar?
Let me talk to him
Hes sleeping
I turned the laptop camera to the bed to prove it
Why does he have his clothes on?
I dont know. You know how lazy teenage boys are
Even when they are 6000 miles away, mothers know when something is wrong. The thing is I couldnt wake the child with a detonator. He was out cold.
Mercifully, I managed to squirm my way out of what could have turned into a full on Spanish inquisition and my wife was probably just thankful that we had arrived and that we were both alive and in one piece. That woman has no faith.
As the Skype session started to wind down, she asked
So what are you 2 going to do tomorrow?
He wants to watch the second game, which is between the Netherlands and Argentina
Hell enjoy that
You have no idea, I muttered to myself, but determined to ensure that if we did end up in another seedy establishment, I would ply the child with H20 only.
So that was our first real day in Japan. Uneventful if you ask me. Only 2 more days to. How hard could that possibly be