otptravels

This is my reservation as it reads in my united.com profile from last weekend:

Flight info

Los Angeles, CA (LAX) New York, NY (JFK)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
United 84
Flight: Waitlisted LAX 06:00 AM
Fri, Dec 3, 2010 JFK 02:34 PM
Fri, Dec 3, 2010 Business (NC) N/A
Upgrade: Waitlisted

Los Angeles, CA (LAX) New York, NY (JFK)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
United 84
Flight: Confirmed LAX 06:00 AM
Fri, Dec 3, 2010 JFK 02:34 PM
Fri, Dec 3, 2010 Economy (Y) N/A

New York, NY (JFK) Shannon, Ireland (SNN)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
Aer Lingus 110
Flight: Confirmed JFK 06:40 PM
Fri, Dec 3, 2010 SNN 06:20 AM
Sat, Dec 4, 2010
Arrives next day Economy (Y) N/A

Shannon, Ireland (SNN) London, United Kingdom (LHR)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
Aer Lingus 380
Flight: Confirmed SNN 07:45 AM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 LHR 09:15 AM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 Economy (X) N/A

London, United Kingdom (LHR) Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
United 935
Flight: Confirmed LHR 10:25 AM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 LAX 01:40 PM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 Business (NC) 09K
Upgrade: Confirmed

Los Angeles, CA (LAX) Shannon, Ireland (SNN)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
United 90
Flight: Confirmed LAX 06:00 AM
Fri, Dec 3, 2010 EWR 05:30 PM
Fri, Dec 3, 2010 Economy (Y) N/A
>>> connecting to >>>
United 3291
Operated by: Continental Airlines
Flight: Confirmed EWR 07:25 PM
Fri, Dec 3, 2010 SNN 06:45 AM
Sat, Dec 4, 2010
Arrives next day Economy (Y) N/A

London, United Kingdom (LHR) Chicago, IL (ORD)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
United 959
Flight: Confirmed LHR 03:25 PM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 ORD 06:38 PM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 Business (NC) N/A
Upgrade: Confirmed

Chicago, IL (ORD) Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
United 129
Flight: Confirmed ORD 08:35 PM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 LAX 11:04 PM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 Economy (W) N/A

London, United Kingdom (LHR) Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
United 931
Flight: Confirmed LHR 01:20 PM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 LAX 08:18 PM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 Economy (Y) N/A

San Francisco, CA (SFO) Burbank, CA (BUR)
Flight Depart Arrive Cabin Seats
United 6450
Flight: Confirmed SFO 07:00 PM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 BUR 08:09 PM
Mon, Dec 6, 2010 Economy (Y) N/A


If you can read the above itinerary and decipher my tale, I will award you 1 SWU. However, you have to do so without reading on. No cheating allowed. How will I know if you are cheating? Easy - you get it right. Because it's impossible to figure out what happened from the above itinerary. So you if you got it right, congrats! But you get nothing because you are a cheater.

Rewind to Thursday evening. . . I'm sitting comfortably in upgraded business class, ready to take off, peeling a mandarin orange the passenger next to me picked from him front yard, and fantasizing about my weekend in Ireland. I'm on UA 934 (not even listed above), the beginning of a pleasant LAX-xLHR-oSNN-xLHR-LAX weekend. Things are going good, a little too good. As I'm strategizing how I will watch 6 movies, get 8 hours of sleep, and polish off a bottle of malbec single-handedly all within this 10 hour flight, the texts begin. The flight is delayed 15 minutes. 15 minutes later, another text informs me of another 15 minute delay. This repeats, well, repeatedly. Then, in a stark break in company policy, the crew informs the passengers of the delay. They then revert to their anti-information policy, but the cargo I can see being offloaded I don't take as a good sign. In the end, the burning smell the passenger next to me asked the FA about when boarding the plane, wasn't, in reality, nothing. The flight is canceled, and passengers scurry back into the airport to get into a customer service line. I snicker, call the 1K desk and pocket a few of the amenity kits left behind. As I stroll back into the RCC, the agent on the phone informs me they have to rebook at the airport and can't do it over the phone (I still don't get this). Uh oh. The line for the two agents in the RCC is almost out the side door. I walked back into the terminal and notice the Customer Service line is empty. I catch the one agent who just started and was not informed all 934 passengers were to go to other locations for assistance. She gets on the phone with the 1K desk and an hour later I’m book on LAX-xJFK-SNN for the following morning. However, JFK-SNN is Aer Lingus in laypeople class, but they do give me the elusive double upgrade to first on the 3-cabin PS flight to JFK (score!). The interesting part was that they cannot confirm JFK-SNN until the Aer Lingus office reopened in the morning, as Aer Lingus does not trust their employees to stay sober after sundown. The office reopens at 5:30 am, which also happened to be the boarding time for my LAX-JFK flight. As a back up, they book me on LAX-xSFO-xEWR-SNN also leaving at 6 am. I would have to call the 1K desk at 5:30 am, have them call Aer Lingus, and try to confirm my connection. If they couldn't, I'd have to run over to the LAX-xSFO gate, have them print me a boarding pass, and get on that plane before the 6:00 departure. Sounds like fun, I'm in. Now please give me my hotel voucher, I'm tired. I did check my email that evening however, and noticed I had already received my 'Customer Appreciation' email. The time stamp indicated UA had compensated me well before they had accommodated me.

5 am next morning - Like a soccer mom on Black Friday, I'm sitting outside the first class international lounge (also available for P.S. in F) when the doors open. I am determined to get use out of this lounge as it is the only time I will be eligible for entrance. 25 minutes later, after sampling every snack, sitting in every chair, and drinking a glass of champagne, two bloody maries, and a shot of patron, I call the 1K desk to prep them for the madness that will ensue at 5:30, and I find a point in the terminal equidistant from my two possible gates. No need for a frantic scurry however, as Aer Lingus confirms me. I get on the P.S. flight to JFK and take my first class seat, which, when reclined, made me feel like I was being loaded into a hyperbaric chamber. Yet still comfy. At JFK, I kill my long layover splitting time between the RCC and the Irish pub in the international terminal. I test every Irish beer/stout at the pub so I can accurately determine if, in fact, it really is “better over there”, and I catch up on some much overdue facebooking. Eventually I board my JFK-SNN flight. Although I’m among the last to pass through the gate, I am among the first to board, bypassing the duty free line as the only passenger not stocking up on booze (no stereotypes being broken here). I venture all the way back to economy class for my transatlantic voyage. Wow, now I know how the slaves felt, and even they got full recline. (What, too soon?) Luckily it starts looking like a pretty empty flight, so I ask one of the flight attendant if there are any open four seats across middle rows. The cute Irish FA says she will check for me, smiles, and winks. It was actually a double wink – both eyes simultaneously. Some call this a blink, but I prefer to think it was an extra special wink, especially because she did secure a 4 seat across row for me. I lay flat across them, force myself to ignore the seat belt jabs in my ribs, hip and calf, and get some sleep. I arrive in Ireland at 6:00 am Saturday morning, a mere 12 hours behind my original schedule.

48 hours and 96 pints of Guinness later (it IS better over there!), I’m back at SNN after a blur of a weekend. The frozen fog is there too. I walk into the waiting area where there is a café and a bar. It’s 6:30 am, but really for me that’s 10:30 pm LA time. That’s enough justification to have a Guinness, right? I figure all I need is one other person to already have a pint, so I won’t be “that guy”. I look around and . . . no one. Damn. I decide I will put a dent in my book instead. Two pages later, I put my book away and proceed to launch angry birds at egg-thieving pigs on my iPhone for the next 25 minutes. Then they announce the delay. Luckily united.com gave me an itinerary with a cushy 70 minute layover at LHR so I don’t sweat. Then a second delay - this one just as they were about to start boarding to make it extra bitter for everyone. I call the 1K desk because by the time I get to LHR, polar bears will be watching my connection fly overhead. They rebook me on LHR-xIAD-LAX. I wander back to the common area and look around. . . still no one drinking Guinness. Damn. Two delays later, I’m finally on my way to LHR. Of course by that time, LHR-IAD is gone. Agent can’t confirm my upgrade for LHR-xSFO-LAX, so I decide I’ll wait two extra hours and the agent books me on LHR-xORD-LAX. I decide to head to the LHR-SFO gate anyways, and it turns out they can accommodate me in C. Yippy! I’m finally on my way back home. 10 hours of comfort later I’m at SFO. A bit exhausted at this point, I decide to make a pitch to get rerouted to BUR, which is much closer to my actual destination. The gate agent for SFO-BUR hears my exaggerated travel woes and doesn’t say a word. I wait for 10 minutes in silence as he retypes the entire text to “War and Peace” on his computer at a pace that would put Mavis Beacon to shame. Then he presses a button, and I hear the printer start up – the airport equivalent of a slot machine dropping coins in Vegas. An uneventful hour on a CRJ and a hotel shuttle ride later, I’m “home”. Until next weekend.

For my original 4 segment journey, this weekend saw me booked at some point on 16 different flights. These were the routes:
LAX-LHR
LHR-SNN
LAX-JFK
JFK-SNN
LAX-SFO
SFO-EWR
EWR-SNN
SNN-LHR
LHR-LAX
LHR-IAD
IAD-LAX
LHR-ORD
ORD-LAX
LHR-SFO
SFO-LAX
SFO-BUR

All things considered, it was worth it for the Guinness.

notquiteaff

Thanks for the interesting report. I agree with your conclusion -- it was worth it for a Guinness or ten.

Thunderroad

As Monty Python would say...Luxury.

Are you sure you had enough to drink?

otptravels

When in Rome...

aluminumdriver

Funny tale. Sounds like the employees did a pretty good job accomodating you, and the drinks were good to boot. Safe travels.

AD

Seat1A

yeah, i miss the physical coins dropping in vegas (tho circus circus in reno still has some dollar coin slots!), and i don't know how much longer we'll get that hearty whiirrrrrrrrrkachunk out of the printers. i think i have the same emotional reaction to both sounds... :-)

that was a fun read....

cmj

You definitely have better luck with the gate agents and flight attendants than what I remember of you in Vegas. Stick to what you know.

sobore

^ Gotta like that! Nice report.