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Originally Posted by MileageAddict
(Post 10875150)
I was on an ORD-IAD flight where the captain (in a heavy Texan drawl) said:
"I got channel 9 on for you folks. Why you'd want to listen to all that chatter is something I'll never understand but go for it if that's your thing." |
Originally Posted by emanon256
(Post 10875179)
Best I heard was on an early morning flight from LGA to DEN. After the safety video, the FA cam on and said, "Above your seat you will see a button with a picture of a light, pressing this will turn on your reading light. Pressing the button with the picture of the flight attendant WILL NOT turn on your flight attendant."
Most of the plane was laughing and it made for a great flight! Sadly, I can't think of anything funny that I have ever heard from a UA FA. I guess I am on the wrong flights... |
Originally Posted by hungarianhc
(Post 10875152)
I do appreciate some GA or FA humor when I board a flight, but i am REALLY getting sick of either the GA or FA announcing that the flight is going somewhere other than its destination. That joke is getting soooooo old and it's like they expect the whole plane to burst into an uproar of laughter after they say it.
i.e. ORD-SFO "Welcome to United 56, non-stop to Albuquerque; we hope everyone..." And then they pause... "Juuuuuust kidding, folks" ugh - seriously i feel like i hear this on well over 50% of the flights i've taken recently! joke = old! funny for the first twelve times. stop already. |
Originally Posted by hungarianhc
(Post 10875152)
I do appreciate some GA or FA humor when I board a flight, but i am REALLY getting sick of either the GA or FA announcing that the flight is going somewhere other than its destination. That joke is getting soooooo old and it's like they expect the whole plane to burst into an uproar of laughter after they say it.
i.e. ORD-SFO "Welcome to United 56, non-stop to Albuquerque; we hope everyone..." And then they pause... "Juuuuuust kidding, folks" ugh - seriously i feel like i hear this on well over 50% of the flights i've taken recently! joke = old! funny for the first twelve times. stop already. |
(I didn't hear it but read about it in another forum. About subways, not airplanes.)
(announcement in station as train arrives) "This is a high capacity train and the middle two cars have no seats. Passengers should board one of the end cars" (end of sentence) _______________________________ ("as you deplane, you may want to compliment our captain on the landing today." ) Did anyone say "tip"? |
Originally Posted by MVFlyer
(Post 10874688)
My personal fave, on a UA flight from FRA, upon arrival in SFO: "Please refrain from smoking until you are in a designated smoking area, which for San Francisco I believe is Las Vegas."
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Originally Posted by emanon256
(Post 10875179)
Best I heard was on an early morning flight from LGA to DEN. After the safety video, the FA cam on and said, "Above your seat you will see a button with a picture of a light, pressing this will turn on your reading light. Pressing the button with the picture of the flight attendant WILL NOT turn on your flight attendant."
Most of the plane was laughing and it made for a great flight! Once in a while I'll hear one I haven't heard before that cracks me up. One of my favorite UA Captains is Captain Morgan, an LAX based 777 Captain. Someone else seems to have had the pleasure of flying with him and wrote about it here (of course that person meant Channel 9, but the rest is accurate). My favorite announcement from Captain Morgan is "We hope you've enjoyed giving us your business as much as we've enjoyed taking you for a ride.":D^ |
Lucky, do you remember Captain D*cko's dry humor? :D
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After a very firm landing (the weather was bad), purser started her PA: "At United Airlines, we say any landing that you can walk away from is a good landing. Welcome to Denver bla bla bla..." Everyone just burst out laughing!
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"Please keep smoking to the designated smoking area during our flight which is located on the wings today."
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Originally Posted by PanHam
(Post 10875307)
It's funny when an FA actually mistakes the destination, though, finishes her announcements with the passengers unsure and getting antsy, and then another FA has to make the announcement of, "No, folks, we're not actually going to Salt Lake City."
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I used to hear this one a lot:
"In preparation for our landing today, please return your seats to their full upright, locked and most uncomfortable position." |
(Virgin Atlantic, a dozen years ago):
The next time you go hurdling through the air in an aluminum tube at 38,000 feet, we hope you choose us |
Just remembered another one. During the safety dance, "... in the unlikely event of a water landing... not that there would ever be a likely event of a water landing.... the life vest...."
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Originally Posted by rosieox
(Post 10875841)
Just remembered another one. During the safety dance, "... in the unlikely event of a water landing... not that there would ever be a likely event of a water landing.... the life vest...."
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