Elite afraid of flying

Sorry for the Eminem reference but it fit the topic...

I had started a seperate thread asking about daylight on a NRT-SFO flight which got me talking about my unique ride to 1K.(if not unique then speak up) Warning this has nothing to do with getting upgrades or best seats to sit or the new config or mai tais to HNL or .bomb or schedule changes or channel 9 or good/bad service or *A award tickets or drunk pilots...just about me sitting around
so here I go...
I am afraid of flying. It makes no sense whatsoever and I know that. My father worked 42 years for UAL and we flew all over the world as kids. Never had a problem. I love commercial airplanes and can identify pretty much any commercial aircraft.(not special here i know but the rest of the world is impressed!)
At some point, say 15 years ago I started to be terrified of flying. Takeoffs/landings are no prob, just the level flying at 30K feet. I cannot sleep as when I try to doze off I stop hearing the engines and startle myself which then leads into a bit of a panic attack.(never had a panic attack before and do not have them anywhere but in my seat) Needless to say it is torture.
The bigger problem is that if I try to get out of my seat during flight my knees buckle and I sit back down. Short trip to LAS from SFO, not a problem. My frequesnt trips to LHR or my upcoming to NRT, problem.
I will become a 1K this week and I will do it without seeing the inside of a lav. My wife tells me they are quite a treat, comparing them to the rest room at Fenway Park.
I plan ahead a few days and structure my eating/drinking habits accordingly by ingesting very little liquids and eating very bland food. I will not have a drink on the plane until about 2 hours from landing. I bet by drinking plenty of booze on the flight I could deal with my fear better BUT that will require at least one lav visit and that is not happening.
Wondering if my experience is unique here and if anyone has stories they can share. An no post is without a new config reference: Those new Biz class seats have NO storage. When you can get up to get stuff out of the overhead it really becomes a problem. So I just tuck my bag behind my legs and toss on the blanket.
I hope to see you on a flight soon, come and say hello. You cant miss me I am the one who is sitting down....the entire flight.
pkdonnel

Have you ever tried a benzo, like Xanax or Valium? Something tells me that your story is pretty unique.

tried it, use it, makes it bearable

Have you thought about trying this or this?

My pre-flight ritual makes these products unecessary

The idea was to make your pre-flight ritual unnecessary. You also said that you still have a "problem" for certain international flights.

You must be a doctor of Western medicine. "Don't exercise - take drugs! Don't eat sensibly - take drugs! Don't let nature control you - take drugs! Don't face your problems - take drugs!" I applaud the OP for taking control of his life like this.

I feel for ya man, that sounds like torture.
I can usually sit in my airplane seat without having to get up for a good 7+ hours actually (I am the polar opposite of antsy), but after that it becomes a bit of a stretch. I guess if I had no fluids I could probably make it, but then you get so dehydrated.

So, do you absolutely HAVE to get a window seat then?

If I ever see you, I will let you go in front of me at immigration

window seat non exit or i dont fly
the good news for you is that if you sit next to me you will never be bothered by me getting up

I don't think you are the only 1K with a fear of flying. Others may not have it to the extremity that you do, but us F/As can usually tell when someone is fearful. I've seen many 1K and GS tightly grab the armrests on takeoff/landing/during turbulence, constantly look out the window, and then at me sitting in the jumpseat in front of them. I give you credit for making it through those long international flights without using the lav!!

Thanks Ethan
A good F/A always makes it better!

Panic attacks can be devastating, and there may be some underlying problem why flying has become a problem for you later in life. The professional opinion of a doctor may be in order.

Have you considered a desensitization program? They are quite effective for numerous phobias since they actually work through the action that provokes the anxiety and then give you methods to cope with or even overcome the anxiety. I am impressed that this has not impacted you during takeoff due to the anxiety associated with anticipating what you are about to feel. IMP(rofessional)O, this is something that you could successfully short circuit with this type of therapy. I would also consider a beta blocker in combination with the therapy. Worth investigating! Hope this helps.

See "When Panic Attacks" by Dr. David Burns.

It has a wealth of information about panic attacks and phobias.

For many medical problems that can be addressed with either drugs or through some other method, drugs are the quick, cheap, and easy way to take control of a problem. Quick, cheap, and easy is good.

Drugs often take a lot less time and money than therapy of any kind. This also applies to physical issues. For example, drugs are a much faster and easier way to reduce blood pressure than exercise (in this case they're probably less idea in the long run). Drugs, if they work, are ideally suited for the OP's situation, where flying is not an everyday activity (seem to be a lot of long haul flights). Sure, fixing the problem is the ideal solution, but not always the most practical.

As for benzos (valium and the like): they have a lot of problems if used daily, but they're great if they solve an infrequent problem.

To the OP: have you tried klonopin (another benzo)? Xanax is pretty short acting, in this case a bad thing, though there's a long acting form of Xanax.

I am not an MD, and thankfully do not take benzos.

I'm curious if taking a benzo and doing the trigger action helps to desensitize someone.