Hi folks;

I am asking for some advice on our upcoming vacation. We are flying from MHT to GSP for the week of 10/25 - 11/2. with US AIR We have been looking forward to this trip for months and have everything all planned, flights, lodging, car, golf reservations, etc, etc.

However, yesterday my wife learned that her mother who has colon cancer will need an operation on 10/30 Thursday. Her mother said "go on vacation, don't worry so much , I'll be fine"--- and my wife really wants to go on vacation BUT she wants to come back on 10/29 Wednesday so she can be there for her mother on 10/30 Thursday. I offered to go back as well, but my wife said that I "really" need this vacation - it has been stressful year, anyways my wife's siblings and father will be there too.

The thing is, the Dr.s could cancel the operation because the mother-inlaw has a weak heart - nobody really knows - so everything is in a state of flux. We won't know if the operation is a go until the day before.


So - how can we make this happen. There are MANY options.

1. We both cancel and reschedule for another date. I read the fine print and it says they will allow changes but $150 charge each ticket. Will they waive this fee for circumstances like this? We only paid 210$ a ticket to begin with.

2. Buy a 1way tic for the wife from CLT to BDL and have her sister pick her up ( this is the airport closest to them) The tic is $128 today and was $108 yesterday with Delta. Do I buy it now? The docs might reschedule the operation.

3. The sister-inlaw has a bunch of FF miles with Southwest. I could drive the wife 4 hours (each way) to the closest WN airport (RDU) and she flies out of there to BDL. She could also rent a one-way car and drive herself -- but she is nervous about doing that. Can the SIL transfer her FF miles to my wife?

4. Don't worry about it and let the cards fall where they may. Have a good vacation --- don't worry be happy kind of deal.

5. do priceline or hotwire a few days before for flight.

6. We don't have insurance - never occurred to me. In retrospect it probably would of been a good idea.

7. any other suggestions?

as a side note, I have a reservation with Alamo -- now I recall that they charge large fees if we have to return early. If something really bad happens, I might have to cut my vacation short and return myself. Would Alamo be understanding. I have a National car reservation as well that I booked as a backup in June. Should I just go with them as they are a little more forgiving about early returns. It is only 50$ more for the week.

I thank you for your advice.

regards
Leggo

p.s mod - if this is in the wrong forum , plz move. tx

<bracing for impact of angry replies from people really, really, really, close to their parents>
Since your m-i-l explicitly has told your wife to stay on her holiday, I think you should. Is there anything your wife needs to do for her mother during the day of surgery that the rest of the family can't? Just keep in contact by phone and make up for it by visiting when you get home.
</bracing>

(You can find good discussions on topics like this in the Women Travelers forum.)

tourist -- thanks for your bravery

No - there really is nothing she could do for her mother that her sister or brother or father couldn't already do.

However, with that said - just who my wife is -- she would have to physically be their for her mother. If she wasn't, she would not enjoy the vacation whatsoever. My wife already said, that if the worst were to happen to her mother, then she would feel quite terrible being on away.

what women's travel forum are you talking about?

thanks again.

This summer I was visiting my mother. The day before I was supposed to leave, she passed away and I had to change the date of my return flight and paid the change fee. While I know that I was not entitled to a refund, I sent a letter with a copy of the death certificate to NW to see if they would refund the change fee due to extenuating circumstances. No dice. YMMV

Okey dokey, I'll wade in to this one.

Being close to my parents (and grandparents) I have on occasion flown 10+ hours on about 12 hours notice to go and sit at a hospital. I would personally cancel if at all possible and schedule down the line. You're always able to take time off, you may not always be able to have your wife be with her mother (especially since you have stated that she has cancer).

With that being said, it really is a gut check. I would support your SO in whatever way SHE feels is right. This is not about you right now.

I empathize with your situation. We lived thru an international trip last year where my MIL became quite ill with surgery eminent as we left. Day by day, we placed the calls, not knowing if that was the day we'd have to figure out a way for my husband to return to the States. In the end, much as you say might happen with your MIL, the surgery didn't occur due to other health issues.

I think you should take it as a given that your wife will want to be with your MIL if/when the surgery occurs. I wouldn't make preemptive changes yet. Your tickets are booked; your cost to change them will be the same whether you do it now or in two weeks, and there is the possibility that the surgery will be rescheduled.

Will your wife honestly truly be comfortable with you staying at your vacation destination should she need to go to her mother's side? And are you of a personality that you can stay and enjoy being on your own? You need to sort thru that, as that will help clarify your options.

I wouldn't buy a one way ticket today due to the uncertainty you face. However, if at the relevant moment, you can still buy a one way ticket for under $150, I'd do that before I drove for 8 hours and paid for the gas for such a trip (the WN option).

Why dosen't your wife's family just ask for a delay in the surgery. Seems like a delay of a few days is not going to make that much difference if they are thinking of a possible delay to tune up her heart. Instead of doing it on Thursday, couldn't tney do it the following Monday?

I wouldn't change anything until you ask about this.

Just scroll down the page to the more exotic parts of flyertalk
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=166

Cheers

Thanks everyone for your advice.

My wife decided that she REALLY wants to go on vacation. So we are going to leave as originally planned.

If/when the operation occurs we will buy her a one way tic to BDL where her sister will pick her up. At the time we will look at the prices and determine if she will fly out of CLT, CHS. CLT is only 1.75 hrs away, and CHS is 3 hrs away. To make it more enjoyable, we will do an overnite in Charleston as we always wanted to see it anyways.

If those two fares don't work, she can use her sister's Southwest FF miles and go out of RDU - and I will visit an old golfing buddy and play a few rounds. I will keep the original Nov 2. departure day - and probably head up to the Smokies Mtns for a day trip or two and play golf until my arms hurt.

Thanks again for advice
Regards
Leggo.