Steve M

I had an interesting experience recently. How persistent should one be in offering a gratuity when you want to give one and it is politely refused by the recipient? Us travelers don't normally have that problem :-) but it did come up recently for me. I offered a second time, and when it was declined again, I gave up. And I really wanted to give a tip: I had been given a ride to another hotel by the courtesy van driver of a hotel where I wasn't even staying. I thought he really deserved a tip. But it is hard to judge sometimes when someone is just being polite in declining a tip and when they really don't want one (or can't accept one due to policy and are conscientious enough to follow the rules).

Hvr

I think one offer is enough. Any more just embarrasses you both. The person concerned has legitimate (to them, and maybe their employer) reasons for declining the gratuity and to continue offering it means you haven't listened to them after they have done you a good deed.

They definitely deserve the courtesy of being listened to when they have done an exceptional job.

Just my thoughts but would be interested to hear what others have to say.

stut

Depends on where you are. There are, for example, several cultures where it is considered polite to refuse gifts twice before accepting. In this kind of situation, it would be polite to offer three times before giving up.

This situation aside, I would say once is enough. Some people still gain pleasure and not just money from their work, and I hope to join their ranks some day

tsastor

By offering extra money you are implying that the service you received was made expecting money in return. Many people outside of the U.S. may find this insulting. I would try to tip as discreetly as possible, like saying keep the change or (in a restaurant) leaving the tip on the table. If you really owe the person something, get his/her address and send something afterwards.

TMOliver

[QUOTE=tsastor;8488697]By offering extra money you are implying that the service you received was made expecting money in return. Many people outside of the U.S. may find this insulting. I would try to tip as discreetly as possible, like saying keep the change or (in a restaurant) leaving the tip on the table. QUOTE]

The Texas supermarket chain where I shop, HEB, does not allow its "Bagboys/girls"/cart attendants, almost all high school and college students, to accept tips for assistance in carryout, loading groceries in a vehicle, etc. I routinely see "folks from far away" go through gyrations trying to tip, since they are obviously used to gratuities for this type of service.

On the other hand, my favorite local restaurant, Siete Mares, a Mexican seafood joint, has a parking lot attendant who directs entering vehicles, a la the ramp man at the airport, then stands guard in what might best be described asa "less than desirable neighborhood". I believe that most of the patrons (Now, there'sa Freudian slip) routinely exchange greetings - in Spanish - on arrival and tip a buck or two when departing, just as we grew up accustomed to when visiting resturants and clubs in "Bordertowns". I do not expect that the incumbent, his predecessors or successors are likely equipped with the full range of documentation required for residence in the US.

Owlchick

I worked in a shop in Waikiki where were were forbidden to take gratuities, although it seemed to me that store clerks wouldn't ever run into that.

Then one night I packed up a fragile statue for someone to ship to the mainland and she insisted on tipping me. I explained the policy and thanked her but declined. So she shoved the money into my hand and scurried off. So I scurried off after her to hand the money back and explain how much trouble I'd get into if she persisted.

I almost felt worse for her than for me as she was so crest-fallen!