Request for help - marriage proposal
Dec 23, 2006, 3:03 pm
#17
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Washington, DC
Programs: UA Plat MM, AA Gold, Hyatt Explorist, Hilton Gold, IHG Plat, Marriott Titanium Elite
Posts: 5,015
Please DO NOT Do This On an Airplane!
If I were your girlfriend, I would be thoroughly embarrassed that you would do such a thing in front of a couple hundred complete strangers and put pressure on me so that I can't realistically say NO. This is a stupid idea and I would forget about it right now. Marriage proposals should be done in private and not in front of an unappreciative captive audience of people you don't even know.
Dec 23, 2006, 3:43 pm
#19
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Shuttling between LA and Tokyo
Programs: UA Lifetime Gold / BA GGL&CCR
Posts: 2,484
leech27, I'd also like to add by saying that if your gf uses your computer, I highly recommend you erase your browing history on your browser just in case so she doesn't stumbles onto this page.
And this goes without saying - engagement ring (if you're planning getting her one) goes in your carry-on, not check-in.
And this goes without saying - engagement ring (if you're planning getting her one) goes in your carry-on, not check-in.
Dec 23, 2006, 3:54 pm
#21
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: BOS
Programs: BA GLD for LIfe, AA PLT 2 MM miler, B6 Mosaic, Star GLD; HH Diamond; Marriott PLT, IHG Plat
Posts: 1,368
I'm in agreement with most of the crowd. Small probability but big risk of "I'm not sure or I'm not ready." Reasonable probability of "I'm too embarassed or offended by doing this in public."
Two stories:
1. I somehow have fear of heights but love climbing mountains. My girlfriend at the time (no my wife) and I took a trip to Calgary to meet some of her relatives and then to California to go to Yosemite. We did a bit of backpacking on each trip (snowed on July 4th in the Canadian Rockies). We climbed Half Dome at Yosemite with the help of the cables and then while she says to me, "It is time for us to get engaged. I think this would be a good place for you to propose." We had been living together for 2 years, I believe, but this was a bit of a surprise. I asked her if she wanted to get married and she said she hadn't gotten that far but was sure it was time to get engaged. Didn't make sense to me exactly (getting engaged and getting married do seem logically connected to me, but hey, what's logic got to do with this), but we did get engaged and have been married for 22 years. But doing it in a special place is pretty exciting. We recently hike along a beautiful trail in Kauai on the north shore. The trail climbs up and then drops down to a beautiful beach area (don't swim there as many people appear to have died trying). But that might be a great place to propose.
2. Some people don't like surprises. As might be surmised by my now wife's directness, I can sometimes be a bit obtuse about social ocassions -- my wife loves birthdays and I forgot about hers the first couple of years. Her good friends decided I couldn't be reformed and would organize parties for her. In the third or fourth year, the friend who had previously housed the party told me that she had to be in court in another city that day (she is a lawyer) but could be home for dinner. I organized a surprise party at her house. As a subterfuge, her friend told her that she couldn't do dinner that year so I agreed to take her out to dinner and we'd drop over for a drink first. She spent the day being unhappy that none of her friends would go out with her for breakfast or lunch and then when we finally got over to her friends for the supposed drink, 50 people popped up to say surprise. My wife was so unnerved that she walked out the door and didn't return for about 15 minutes. As I learned, not everyone likes surprises, especially in public. Given my experiences, a public proposal might be awkward even if the answer is ultimately "yes."
Two stories:
1. I somehow have fear of heights but love climbing mountains. My girlfriend at the time (no my wife) and I took a trip to Calgary to meet some of her relatives and then to California to go to Yosemite. We did a bit of backpacking on each trip (snowed on July 4th in the Canadian Rockies). We climbed Half Dome at Yosemite with the help of the cables and then while she says to me, "It is time for us to get engaged. I think this would be a good place for you to propose." We had been living together for 2 years, I believe, but this was a bit of a surprise. I asked her if she wanted to get married and she said she hadn't gotten that far but was sure it was time to get engaged. Didn't make sense to me exactly (getting engaged and getting married do seem logically connected to me, but hey, what's logic got to do with this), but we did get engaged and have been married for 22 years. But doing it in a special place is pretty exciting. We recently hike along a beautiful trail in Kauai on the north shore. The trail climbs up and then drops down to a beautiful beach area (don't swim there as many people appear to have died trying). But that might be a great place to propose.
2. Some people don't like surprises. As might be surmised by my now wife's directness, I can sometimes be a bit obtuse about social ocassions -- my wife loves birthdays and I forgot about hers the first couple of years. Her good friends decided I couldn't be reformed and would organize parties for her. In the third or fourth year, the friend who had previously housed the party told me that she had to be in court in another city that day (she is a lawyer) but could be home for dinner. I organized a surprise party at her house. As a subterfuge, her friend told her that she couldn't do dinner that year so I agreed to take her out to dinner and we'd drop over for a drink first. She spent the day being unhappy that none of her friends would go out with her for breakfast or lunch and then when we finally got over to her friends for the supposed drink, 50 people popped up to say surprise. My wife was so unnerved that she walked out the door and didn't return for about 15 minutes. As I learned, not everyone likes surprises, especially in public. Given my experiences, a public proposal might be awkward even if the answer is ultimately "yes."
Dec 23, 2006, 4:59 pm
#23
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 75
sometimes, a guy is very, very sure a girl will say yes... they may even have discussed it... it's just a matter of when to do it...
to OP: hey if you need go with AA , i can give you a couple of eVIP upgrades to help your "background/setting". just do it before feb '07
and if you haven't gotten the diamond yet, i can help you get the same exact ones for less than anything on the internet. Merry Christmas!
to OP: hey if you need go with AA , i can give you a couple of eVIP upgrades to help your "background/setting". just do it before feb '07
and if you haven't gotten the diamond yet, i can help you get the same exact ones for less than anything on the internet. Merry Christmas!
Dec 23, 2006, 5:06 pm
#25
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: BUR
Programs: UA 1MM, DL former Gold, AA, SPG, HH Gold, SPG Gold, Marriott Gold
Posts: 884
As a passenger I get annoyed each time someone gets on the PA system and especially so if it is a non-essential announcement. Although I wish you all the happiness in the world and I hope your girlfriend says yes, I would still not want to witness your proposal. I'd be pretty p***ed off if I had to sit next to such a spectacle on my flight. (Not all people can marry the person they want in this country and it is never nice to be reminded of that.) Wait until you get to HI and propose to her in a beautiful spot. It will be a much more enjoyable memory for both of you.
Dec 23, 2006, 5:10 pm
#26
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 303
Your crew would be delighted to help you out.
If you decide to propose on the plane and don't talk to the GA before boarding, you can always board the plane and then tell your fiancee that you have to use the lav before take off. You can then go to the back of the plane and chat with the FA setting up the galley. He/she can spread the word to the other FAs. Probably the best time to do it would be after the initial beverage/meal service. There will be a long lull then with no carts in the aisle.
If you decide to propose on the plane and don't talk to the GA before boarding, you can always board the plane and then tell your fiancee that you have to use the lav before take off. You can then go to the back of the plane and chat with the FA setting up the galley. He/she can spread the word to the other FAs. Probably the best time to do it would be after the initial beverage/meal service. There will be a long lull then with no carts in the aisle.
Dec 23, 2006, 6:20 pm
#28
Original Poster
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Walnut Creek, CA (SFO/OAK)
Programs: UA 1K
Posts: 757
Thanks everyone for your thoughtful comments. I do realize that there is a fair amount of risk involved in doing this - it is a setting in which there would be a lot of pressure on her and it's always possible she'd say no. However, I think it's a high risk, high reward situation. If she were to say yes, it'd be very clear to her that I want the whole world/plane to know (and I think that's a good thing) and it would definitely make for a memorable occasion.
My original plan was to try something involving friends and showtunes (which she loves). However, that carries a high risk of disclosure and would be difficult to pull off in tune
.
I'd be a fool to say I'm absolutely certain she'd say yes. Right now I'm at about 99.99% certain, but there's always that 0.01% chance. I'm actually in TPE right meeting some of her extended family though, so I think we're relatively far along
.
Having said all that, I think you guys are right and I'll search for the best possible spot to do this on Oahu. However, *if* I manage to secure upgrades and *if* I have a chance to speak to the GA or the FAs in private and *if* the moment is right, I may just go ahead and try it. Any suggestions for Oahu would certainly be welcomed though.
tsw: Thank you for your kind offer! Unfortunately I'm booked on UA, but your gesture is very much representative of what I've seen here on FT.
My original plan was to try something involving friends and showtunes (which she loves). However, that carries a high risk of disclosure and would be difficult to pull off in tune
.I'd be a fool to say I'm absolutely certain she'd say yes. Right now I'm at about 99.99% certain, but there's always that 0.01% chance. I'm actually in TPE right meeting some of her extended family though, so I think we're relatively far along
.Having said all that, I think you guys are right and I'll search for the best possible spot to do this on Oahu. However, *if* I manage to secure upgrades and *if* I have a chance to speak to the GA or the FAs in private and *if* the moment is right, I may just go ahead and try it. Any suggestions for Oahu would certainly be welcomed though.
tsw: Thank you for your kind offer! Unfortunately I'm booked on UA, but your gesture is very much representative of what I've seen here on FT.
Dec 23, 2006, 6:28 pm
#29
Original Member
Join Date: May 1998
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,335
With all due respect, think about this. You're going to PARADISE.
Which sounds more romantic....a proposal by you on a Hawaiian beach at sunset? Or a proposal done on an airplane, spoken out of someone else's mouth...heading to paradise?
I've heard two proposals on an airplane in my lifetime. Both times the person next to me and I shook my head in disbelief as to why someone would want to do it on an airplane.
Which sounds more romantic....a proposal by you on a Hawaiian beach at sunset? Or a proposal done on an airplane, spoken out of someone else's mouth...heading to paradise?
I've heard two proposals on an airplane in my lifetime. Both times the person next to me and I shook my head in disbelief as to why someone would want to do it on an airplane.
Proposed to my wife on the beach in the moonlight on St. Maarten.
Dec 23, 2006, 6:50 pm
#30
Join Date: Aug 2000
Programs: I am an AS employee, but my comments do not represent the company in any official capacity.
Posts: 4,343
Enough people have offered their two cents about whether or not you should do this. I'll just say that a fine way to contact the crew (should you decide to go through with your plan) is to arrive at the gate early. Usually when the crew shows up, it'll be a couple of minutes before the CSA actually lets them in the door and on the plane. If you can manage to send your g/f off on an errand..."sweetie, will you go get me a bottle of water, etc" you could approach the flight crew at that time.
Secondarily, you could prepare a letter describing your intentions and asking for discreet assistance. Keep it on your person. If all else fails, slip it to
an F/A in flight and hopefully it will all work out.
Secondarily, you could prepare a letter describing your intentions and asking for discreet assistance. Keep it on your person. If all else fails, slip it to
an F/A in flight and hopefully it will all work out.