This is causing me quite a dilemma; let me elaborate:

I absolutely detest those people (most of whom are not First class/elite preboarders) who linger in the area around the boarding gate causing massive congestion about five minutes before scheduled boarding. They are an irritant and an obscenity and I want to scream at them to go sit the hell down until their boarding group or row number is called. They make it nearly impossible for First class passengers and elites to board early as they collectively form a human wall of obstruction. Whoever coined the term "gate lice" (not me) is genius.

Now the dilemma. Because I don't check baggage and travel with a carry on roll-aboard, I like to board early to ensure that I can get my bag in the overhead; I'm 6'2" and so don't really have a huge desire to fight my bag for legroom on transcon flights. Because the human wall of misery known as gate lice crowds us legitimate early boarders out of the gate area, I find that I have been forced to become that which I so detest. I find myself standing in the boarding area 7-10 minutes beforehand, gold boarding pass (United First or elite Group 1) in hand.

Now I don't know who I hate more: the gate lice or myself for having become one of them. They forced my hand! Ah, the humanity!

I never mind it. It is the fun part when you try and pick the frequent flyer in the crowd, taking peeks at BP's... Then when the announcement is made pushing your way through them to get on board just knowing that they are looking at you like they want to kick you

What I usually do is stand around, and as soon as one of the "lice" leaves their seat moving towards the gate expecting to get on soon, I simply take their seat...

Oh, come on! As a former gate lice myself, I can tell you exactly why people do this:

1) Ignorance - When you only fly a couple times a year, and you see everyone else doing it, you figure, what's wrong with it? Also, it took a while before I even realized that boarding first was a "perk" for elites. UA needs to be firmer about this, or the behavior will continue.

2) Rationality - I used to push to get on first because as long as UA (a) doesn't enforce carryon limits, (b) takes forever to offload luggage, and (c) loses bags with regularity, I'd rather piss off elites standing in line than risk having to check a bag and go without clothes for a week. Don't blame pax for what is, really, rational behavior under the circumstances.

So have a heart, and direct your fire at the airline!

My fire is directed at both sides of this, and I was quite happy to see a thread over in the United forum today about an ORD GA who told a Group 4 fungus to wait his turn.

I really don't think ignorance is a valid excuse unless you are deaf or don't speak English. I always hear very clear announcements describing the boarding process as being First class first followed by boarding with group numbers.

To quote an old bit of hilarity from the Jerky Boys' Frank Rizzo: open your f#*&ing ears, jackass!

(And no that was not directed at you, but the Gate Lice in general.)

You say ignorance is no excuse, but this overlooks the rationality argument, really a "tragedy of the commons" situation in which individuals who do the "right" thing are punnished in the end. If, as a gate lice, I do the right thing (i.e., wait my f*&@ing turn), I get shafted because no one else does. (You implicitly recognize this, which is why you have met the enemy, and he is you.) Under the circumstances, the rational thing to do is push to the front of the line. The only way to solve the problem is, as I said, to (a) enforce the rules and (b) consistently get bags to baggage claim much faster. Until then, blaming GL for their behavior is like blaming a thirsty man in the desert for running to an oasis.

I suspect that the posters here are ignoring of a classic USAian pertspective, a sense of egalitarianism which leads us, especially when traveling with FFs and Firsties, to view the world very simply as them and us.

The us, in the best traditions of sons and daughters of a Revolution, tend to look at the thems as pompous elitist poofters, fit only for the Lantern, "a bas les aristes" and all that, and we gather at the gate with a sort of "Non pasaran!" mentality, the Front compartment being little more than a Bastille in our eyes. By obstructing their passage, we are striking a blow for the Rights of Man. I always wear a red Liberty Cap and pick a particularly obstructive position.

In the second case, many of the gate lice as noted are infrequent and almost never travelers. The entire pack drill is furrin unto them. Insecure, uncomfortable and unknolegeable, they are worried some *sshole will steal their seat.

Lastly, the original poster wants to leap aboard to ensure room for his bag in the rack. I sympathize, for boarding in Group 6 or so, the "almost the front of the bus" folks, our overheads are always full, either with the bags of noxious firsties whove used the back of the bus for overflow, or the wonks and wonkettes from Group 2 who have stuffed their impedimentia in the forward overheads on their way back to after steerage.

When the revolution comes, it will be from among the ranks of customers and clients who found that their vendors had been buying first class seats for salesmen and consultants by grossly overcharging for products and services. They'll be joined by the stockholders who find that their companies have actually been letting travelling staff keep their FF miles and status instead of rightfully distributing them to the stockholders...a few DLs here, a UA or two there, and a bucket of TWAs for you.

Get serious, anyhow. If the worst you have to fear is gate lice, then your social paranoia has exceeded allowable norms and it's time to take a real break, flipping bugers or washing down the staion's driveway.....

LOL. Well said. I think, however, that:

* you are making an assumption about rationality among irrational actors and,

* you are taking my little rant entirely too seriously.

Which begs a question from me which I never understood the answer to: why are people in such a great big hurry to get on the plane to begin with? I understand first class because the seats are nicer and you begin to enjoy some of the perks. But in coach, why rush to get to your seat? I assume some may rush because they're afraid someone may get their seat. You have the FA there that will take care of that. If double booked on the same seat, you might actually get bumped to first class (heard that mentioned on here before). Might not find a place to put your luggage? Check your luggage rather than carrying it on, or ask the FA to help you stow it if there is no room right over your seat. In short, I don't think theres any rational reason for coach passengers to hurry to get on the plane.

Likewise, what's the big hurry to get off the plane once the fasten seat belts sign is turned off? I don't fly much which may explain some of my being less than knowledgable, but every single time I fly everyone is stampeding to get on and then back off the plane. I would rather everyone just take it easy. You'll get on your plane before the thing takes off, and you'll get off after it lands.

As has been discussed many times, checking bags can be at best a PITA, as worst extremely foolish, if you're travelling with valuable and/or fragile belongings.
Several possibilities:
1. Tight connections and irregular ops.
2. Smoking.
3. Wanting to get near the front of the immigration line.
4. The bathroom.
5. Just an urgent, subconcious need to get out of the horrible metal tube in which you've been cooped up for several hours.
6. This one's kind of in agreement with you - people being jerks.

Oh dear, let's not get rid of the "gate lice." I like them. I need them. Without them standing there needing to be politely asked to "excuse me, please," as I jostle through the thickest clump, there might be nobody to really notice me as I flaunt my superior status by boarding first.

What's the value in being king if there are no peasants?






( , just in case it's not clear)

Aw, geez, I took your little rant completely seriously and agreed with
every syllable.

gate lice

Its so refreshing flying airlines that enforce carry-on limits. Nothing like staying in the airline lounge until the last minute (get an extra drink in if in the mood & its that time of day), leisurely stroll to the gate and straight on.

Why spend more time standing around or in the seat than have to?

Excellent! ^

I blame the gate attendants, some of them anyway. Some are very effective in communicating which group they're boarding, and asking would-be gate crashers to step aside, while others get on the microphone and go through the routine, but they then let everyone crowd up and take every boarding pass that's handed to them. I suppose that although they know they have to go through the boarding-by-group spiel, all they really want to do is get everyone on the plane as quickly as possible.

When I fly ORD-SCL on AA, the boarding by group goes smoothly, but on the return, the AA gate attendants at SCL rarely make an effort to board the groups in order, with the result that everyone crowds together and elbows their way to the front of the line no matter what group they're in.

Here's something to think about:

I was an early boarder on a recent flight. I checked one bag and carried on my laptop. I put my laptop in the overhead bin so that I could use my leg room.

The FA announces that the flight is full and that in order to be polite passengers should put carry-ons that will fit under the seats, under those seats, so that those who have suitcases can use the overhead bins. I told the FA I would not move my laptop from the overhead bin being that the polite people checked their suitcases instead of bringing them on board. Several of the other pax echoed this.

Just another perspective on the issue.

M8