Revenge.
 

Traveling on a regular basis in and of itself poses its own set of stress and problems: going through security, checking whether or not one’s flight is on time, hoping the weather cooperates, choosing the proper hotel in which to stay, etc. Additional unexpected problems can further exacerbate one’s travel experience. During my travels, whenever someone or something caused by someone bothers me, I typically either ignore it, chalk it up to experience or shrug it off.

However, there are times where the inconsiderate perpetrator needs to be taught a lesson. I do not believe in violence or other drastic measures, but sometimes a situation arises where one knows that simply asking the perpetrator to stop will result in either no viable solution to the problem at hand or perhaps even worsen the problem. Revenge is simply not my style and I am not particularly proud of myself when I exact revenge on someone else, but on rare occasions I find it to be absolutely necessary.

The purpose of this thread is dedicated to innovative, creative ideas and methods of exacting fairly harmless (yet satisfying) revenge on thoughtless perpetrators who carelessly infringe upon other peoples’ rights of problem-free travel with no regard as to the consequences of their actions upon other people, whether it be in a hotel room, on an airplane during flight, in an airport waiting to depart, while driving a rental car, while going through security, during dinner, etc.

Please list your ideas, comments, situations and/or experiences in this thread. Clearly adding a title to your dish of sweet revenge would be helpful for other FlyerTalk members to identify with the content of the milepost.

I will start...

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What’s Your “Hang-Up”?: The Hotel Room Telephone Constantly Ringing Revenge

When I am in a hotel room for the night, I usually enjoy peace and quiet without incident. However, on occasion, I sometimes find myself unlucky enough to be next to a room where the inconsiderate guest(s) will blatantly do one or more of the following at inexcusably late hours with no regard whatsoever for other guests (such as myself) who are trying to fall asleep:

• Yell or talk loudly on the telephone or to each other
• Unnecessarily increase the volume of their television or radio for extended periods of time
• Constantly laugh loudly
• Continuously enter and exit their room while allowing the door to slam loudly and uncontrollably
• Bang into or drag around their furniture.

Usually, a fairly reliable theorem is that those who stay up late and cause these problems usually sleep late the next morning.

If calls to the front desk are futile and produce no results in terms of resolving the matter at hand and nothing else works, what I will do as revenge is wake up early the next morning, pick up the telephone and call the room of the offending guest(s). By the way, I always ensure that I am calling the correct room. I press my ear against the wall to the next room to monitor movement of the guest(s). I then hang up the telephone by quietly using my finger at the exact second the telephone receiver is picked up in the next room. I listen through the wall as the guest usually mutters “Hello. Hello?” while half asleep and then hangs up.

I will give a couple of minutes and do something (such as wash up, brush my teeth, etc.) to give the guest a chance to lay back down in bed and go back to sleep before I repeat the same procedure above. Once again, the guest says “Hello. Hello?” and then hangs up.

I then immediately call back and repeat the procedure again. By this time the guest starts to become irritated: “Hello. Hello!” and then hangs up in sheer frustration.

I do this several more times while randomly varying the time between telephone calls to keep the guest off-guard, always ensuring that the telephone continuously rings before “coincidentally” hanging up the second the guest answers the telephone: “Hello! HELLO!!!” and then slams the receiver of the telephone in absolute disgust.

An added bonus is when there is more than one guest in the room and they discuss the telephone situation in disgust and in desperation, not knowing if the telephone is merely malfunctioning. Usually, this does not require an ear pressed against the wall, as they will usually be as loud during their discussion as they were the night before.

At worst, I leave the room that morning satisfied with exacting harmless payback against an inconsiderate offender. At best, I have ruined their morning and possibly their day.

By the way, depending on the situation, this idea could also work well before going to sleep or, better yet, during the middle of the night if one finds that one cannot go to sleep due to the selfishly inconsiderate acts of the perpetrator.

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Please share your harmless (or virtually harmless, anyway) acts of revenge related to travel in this thread.

canarsie exacting revenge :eek: I must be misreading or someone else is using his account.

So you're the one who called me five times during my brief stay at the Sheraton at 4 in the morning! :mad:

How about wishful revenge?

Just back from China, and I sure wish I knew enough Mandarin to be able to try to sell my Timex to one of those wristwatch sales guys! Come to think of it, they usually have learned a little English, maybe I'll try it next time.

Actually, it is extremely rare that I ever consider exacting revenge on anyone. I am still the same nice guy with excruciating puns and a sense of humour that, quite frankly, could be classified as torturous inuhumane revenge in its own right.

However, I thought to myself that I cannot be the only person who on rare occasions gets pushed to the edge to the point of thinking about ideas of revenge. I thought I would call upon the FlyerTalk community to come up with their own ideas.Well, what in the world were you doing in that room anyway, slippahs?!?That is absolutely acceptable, RichardInSF.

In fact, for those FlyerTalk members who choose to do so, please also post your thoughts of wishful revenge as well that you would never even think of exacting on anyone else.

For those rude row-mates who impose themselves into your space on the plane (sticking their legs, arms over into your place etc), you can exact some revenge by releasing some silent-but-deadly flatulence :eek: Of course, this could have potentially harmful effects for others seated nearby so that should be of some consideration. Also, immediately afterwards, you should look around accusingly particularly at your intended victim

I hate people who hand out flyers. Especially the ones that follow you until you do take a ticket.

Keep taking flyers off them until they decide they have had enough. Then hand them back to them.

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Shop assistants who follow you around the shore when you ask them not to.

Pick up a shopping basket or trolley and fill it up to the top. Walk to the till and remove the one item that you want and pay for that leaving the trolley there. Or just leaving everything there and walkign out.

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Tailors asking if you want a suit made in HK.

Follow them round and ask them to make a suit for your (select item of choice) water bottle etc. Acting serious about it and haggle with them for a while.

Two thoughts: in a thread on mugging, someone suggested carying a cheap wallet with a few $ worth of local currency and a bunch of those stupid fake credit cards you get with credit card solicitations in the mail. Their suggestion was to throw it out on the street and run madly in the opposite direction if mugged. I'm thinking of just keeping one in my back pocket to attract pickpockets on crowded subways. By the time they get out at the next stop and check their "winnings", I'll be out of range.

I once complained to my husband about a woman near me on a plane making a very loud seatback-phone call to a recruiter about a position in her company she was trying to fill. Gave all the details, then asked that it be kept confidential. He said I should have made a fake call from my seatback phone to a fake recruiter along the lines of, "Ed- you know how much you've been wanting t place someone at (Company name)? Well, there's a Financial Analyst position open. Just call (passenger name) and she'll give you the details."

Both of these "revenge"schemes may have consequences harmful(well,annoying really)to inocent folks.Hotel rooms usually have two nieghboring rooms-yours-and some other person who not only had to put up with the late night noise,but now has two deal with 2 sets of fools creating havoc.
As to the flatulence,well as mentioned-you are in a small enclosed poorly ventilated space-and extracring revenge on one"offender"will cause discomfort for many around you.
But of course The Bush regieme has been doing this for a few years now.

There's always the quiet word with the TSA "*cough* excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice that the passenger over there looked like they had something sharp in their carry-on. It might be worth taking a look just to make sure." :D

This falls into the wishful category ...

I was in a rental car queue at some airport when the guy in front of me decides he doesn't want to wait, but also doesn't want to give up his space in line. So he leaves his backpack in front of me as a placeholder, expecting me to move it along, I suppose, while he runs off to other rental car company desks looking for another car. I was so tempted to call security and have them take away the unattended bag ...

I detest people who incessantly recline small-pitch coach seats in front of me with complete disregard to the people behind them or damage/spillage to property that may be on tray tables. Particularly the people who fully recline the seat at maximum speed and then proceed to push hard back on the seat four or five times to see if they can squeeze themselves half an inch closer to my face. (My personal rule for reclining my own Y seat beyond just enough to get it out of the "upright and locked position" is don't do it unless: 1) seat behind is empty or 2) passenger behind is asleep or 3) flight is during what would be reasonably considered "sleep time" in either the origin or destination timezones.)

My "revenge" against extreme offenders in the category is some combination of:

1) Direct my air vent at their head/neck. Cold air will give many people a bad stiff neck and/or prevent them from sleeping or getting comfortable.

2) Use their seat as a hand-hold when entering/exiting my own. Sometimes this is more "required" than "revenge" because there is so little space I have to push off of something to squeeze out.

3) Periodic unnanounced hard knees in the back of the chair.

I have only used these tactics twice. Once on a transatlantic westbound UA 777 where I got stuck an E- aisle seat, and the woman in front of me reclined fully on takeoff, did the whole push the seat four times to get the extra quarter inch routine, and didn't unrecline until the FA made her do it just before landing. I had to eat my meal off to the side there was so little space, and there was no hope of using a laptop. Making matters worse, the woman whose face was in my lap reeked of cigarette smoke, and she had scraggly long smoke-smelling fried-from-too-much-bleach hair that was unrestrained and kept going behind the seat into what was left of my tray/lap area. This woman got a good deal of tactics (1) and (2) but I was too young/nice at the time to do (3).

Second, on an ORD-LAX 767 where I got stuck in an E- aisle with a talk lanky teenaged girl in front of me. Fully reclined the seat and did the pushing thing during taxi (bad sign). Unreclined during takeoff at FA request but whined to FA about how she was "a tall six feet" and had "long legs" so she needed the space. (The b***h was a whopping 1.5 inches taller than me but apparently needed lots of special treatment.) Fully reclined on takeoff and did the pushing thing again. Never unreclined, including on landing (ignored FA request) or even disembarking. I had to squeeze out of my seatbelt and crawl over her seat to unrecline it after she disembarked just so I could get my carry-on and get out. This girl got a hefty dose of (1), (2), and (3) as well as a very nasty look as I sat pinned down in my seat while she disembarked with a haughty and self-centered air about her.

Wonderful analogy!
 

^ ;) ;) ;) ;)

Now this emits an interesting point; you could be endangering yourself with the SBD's as well, but somehow we never seem to be offended by our own odors... :confused:

Yup. "First smeller's the feller."