'Twas the FLIGHT before Christmas (yeah, I know, but...)
Dec 30, 2003, 3:21 am
#1
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Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: BOS, MHT
Programs: AA ltg, B6, DL, UA, AS, SPG/Marriott Plt, HH, Hyatt
Posts: 10,052
'Twas the FLIGHT before Christmas (yeah, I know, but...)
Ah yes, 'Round this time 'O year, there are all kinds of thoughts you could imagine a late-night holiday traveler might have...
I am truly sorry--but I just HAD to give this a shot, and yeah, I DID make it all up on my own. Was kinda fun, too, and I could'nt sleep anyway (I grabbed an oldie but goodie and began borrowing lines out of the real text for this, my attempt at a humorous "airline take" on a very recognizable XMASS story:
+++++
'Twas the flight before Christmas, when all through the lounge...
Not a vacuum cleaner was stirring as I layed on the couch...
The stock boy was filling a candy stand O'er there...
and I was bound for St. Kitz or somewhere down there.
The children were restless, making chairs into beds,
While visions of more sugary plump-fatty food from that aweful snack bar that's still open over there danced in my now aching head.
(OK, a bit off on a tangent there, but you get the idea)
uh hmm...
Anyway--
...And mama in her kerchief and I in my Red Sox cap...
Had just settled our brains for a short airport nap.
When out on the tarmac arose such a clatter,
I sprand from my seriously uncomfortable 70's-styled lounge chair to see what was the matter!
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
And you can sure bet I didn't tear open any shutters or throw up any sash (for fear security/FBI would certainly be called in!)--but they looked up at me anyway and at Logan Airport, that's the beginning of the end, dude!
...Well,
The moon and the lights of the bright airport below...
gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a tiny prop plane from American and eight other failing airline companies out there!
With a little old desk clerk began typing at her desk so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment this ain't our ride to St. Kitz!
More rapid than eagles to my senses I'd wake
And I whistled and shouted, "WE'RE AT THE WRONG F--KING GATE!"
Not Delta! Not Air Tran!...
Not United or Virgin...
Where's Northwest or Southwest...
(and shouldn't THEY do a merging?)
To the top of the terminal we ran and we called:
Now dash away, excuse me people, and let us on all!
+
As dry leaves that fall before the wild hurricane fly (and make you miss your flight due to weather-related delays)
When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky (or some fat guy taking up too much space in the seat next to you)
Deap down in the security office the accusations they flew...
With a small gray windowless room full of kids and my angry wife too...
And then in a twinkling I heard through the roof...
The prancing and pawing of all the other passenger's hoofs. (****, everyone else is making our flight but WE got reprimanded in the airport--again!)
Anyhow, as I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the steps this big, suited G-Man came in with a bound.
He was trimmed up with badges from his head to his foot,
and his suit was not tarnished but he smelled just like soot.
A packet of cigarettes and his clipboard did smack...
on the table before me, while his radio clacked.
His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples--geesh, how freaking fat!--and please don't arrest us, Mr. security man, sir! I didn't mean that!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry (or gin blossoms, you choose) And the name tag he wore said something like LARRY.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the mustache on his face looked as stupid looking as they go!
The stump of a butt he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a giant round belly...
that shook when he laughed (at me), like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump--a right jolly old elf;
And I was bummin'when I saw him thinking about MY 6 to 12!
But a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I have nothing to dread!
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And then he tore up his papers saying, "Hey, I'm not a jerk!"
And laying a finger aside of his nose,
...And giving a nod, toward the door he then rose.
He flagged down a cart and blew on a whistle, and we flew down the hall like the down of a thistle.
We got to our check-in gate, though with no one in sight,
But he threw open its door and said HAVE A NICE FLIGHT!
---
So, we made it that day, oh my fine flying friends, and I know this poem's crazy and to no publisher I'll send.
All I can say is that if you make it through security alright, then there's nothing to fear so to all a good night!
MM
...Thank you... Thankyouverymuch...
I am truly sorry--but I just HAD to give this a shot, and yeah, I DID make it all up on my own. Was kinda fun, too, and I could'nt sleep anyway (I grabbed an oldie but goodie and began borrowing lines out of the real text for this, my attempt at a humorous "airline take" on a very recognizable XMASS story:
+++++
'Twas the flight before Christmas, when all through the lounge...
Not a vacuum cleaner was stirring as I layed on the couch...
The stock boy was filling a candy stand O'er there...
and I was bound for St. Kitz or somewhere down there.
The children were restless, making chairs into beds,
While visions of more sugary plump-fatty food from that aweful snack bar that's still open over there danced in my now aching head.
(OK, a bit off on a tangent there, but you get the idea)
uh hmm...
Anyway--
...And mama in her kerchief and I in my Red Sox cap...
Had just settled our brains for a short airport nap.
When out on the tarmac arose such a clatter,
I sprand from my seriously uncomfortable 70's-styled lounge chair to see what was the matter!
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
And you can sure bet I didn't tear open any shutters or throw up any sash (for fear security/FBI would certainly be called in!)--but they looked up at me anyway and at Logan Airport, that's the beginning of the end, dude!
...Well,
The moon and the lights of the bright airport below...
gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a tiny prop plane from American and eight other failing airline companies out there!
With a little old desk clerk began typing at her desk so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment this ain't our ride to St. Kitz!
More rapid than eagles to my senses I'd wake
And I whistled and shouted, "WE'RE AT THE WRONG F--KING GATE!"
Not Delta! Not Air Tran!...
Not United or Virgin...
Where's Northwest or Southwest...
(and shouldn't THEY do a merging?)
To the top of the terminal we ran and we called:
Now dash away, excuse me people, and let us on all!
+
As dry leaves that fall before the wild hurricane fly (and make you miss your flight due to weather-related delays)
When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky (or some fat guy taking up too much space in the seat next to you)
Deap down in the security office the accusations they flew...
With a small gray windowless room full of kids and my angry wife too...
And then in a twinkling I heard through the roof...
The prancing and pawing of all the other passenger's hoofs. (****, everyone else is making our flight but WE got reprimanded in the airport--again!)
Anyhow, as I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the steps this big, suited G-Man came in with a bound.
He was trimmed up with badges from his head to his foot,
and his suit was not tarnished but he smelled just like soot.
A packet of cigarettes and his clipboard did smack...
on the table before me, while his radio clacked.
His eyes how they twinkled! His dimples--geesh, how freaking fat!--and please don't arrest us, Mr. security man, sir! I didn't mean that!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry (or gin blossoms, you choose) And the name tag he wore said something like LARRY.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the mustache on his face looked as stupid looking as they go!
The stump of a butt he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a giant round belly...
that shook when he laughed (at me), like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump--a right jolly old elf;
And I was bummin'when I saw him thinking about MY 6 to 12!
But a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I have nothing to dread!
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And then he tore up his papers saying, "Hey, I'm not a jerk!"
And laying a finger aside of his nose,
...And giving a nod, toward the door he then rose.
He flagged down a cart and blew on a whistle, and we flew down the hall like the down of a thistle.
We got to our check-in gate, though with no one in sight,
But he threw open its door and said HAVE A NICE FLIGHT!
---
So, we made it that day, oh my fine flying friends, and I know this poem's crazy and to no publisher I'll send.
All I can say is that if you make it through security alright, then there's nothing to fear so to all a good night!
MM...Thank you... Thankyouverymuch...
