rmccamy wrote, ...when two people get upgrades at the airport, they aren't going to be sitting together in most cases.

Yup. LexPassenger and I are often those Upgradees. For short hops, we just sit apart. For longer flights, we ask Very Politely (grovel, grovel)if one of the people next to us would mind trading seats. If possible, we ask for someone to trade a window for a window or an aisle for an aisle on the assumption that that's what they asked for. Occasionally someone would rather have the opposite and jumps at the chance to trade. We're also happy to haul the person's carryon out of the luggage bin and give it to him at deplaning, since it may be behind him after trading. I don't think we've ever had someone say No. If someone refused, I'd certainly be polite about it, but as rmccamy said, it's not quite the same in F as asking someone to move to a middle seat in coach.

I've traded a few times at the request of other pax, or of an FA, to unite another group or pair of pax. I've asked others to trade once or twice so that Mrs. Law Lord and I could sit together (as noted above, usually an issue only when we get upgraded).

I don't mind at all being asked if the person who asks doesn't mind if I say "no." About the only time I can think of that I've said "no" was when the traders were willing to consider a trade in one direction, but not the other, and appeared to be willing to trade only if the trader also got a better seat. But unless the traders were assigned two middle seats, whoever's sitting in the middle (or otherwise less-desirable) seat next to one of them is almost always willing to trade to a better seat.

NLP - my hat goes off to you. I consider myself a "nice guy", but you make me look like Scrooge. If someone asks me to change and I am traveling alone, I will exchange like for like or better. I would not accept a middle seat unless it was an extremely short flight.

When my companion and I have seats that are separated we try to make sure that we are among the first to board. She will go to her seat and I will go to mine. The first prospective seatmate is politely asked if a swap would be possible. Since the assigned passenger has not yet become ensconced and comfortable it is much easier to work a trade that way. I will also offer to vacate overhead space if needed.

If boarding has already occurred and I need to ask for another passenger to change with me, I will offer the better seat that my group possesses as an inducement. (e.g. the seat furthest forward.) I think that it is inappropriate to ask another passenger to accept an inferior seat for my convenience and I will not ask. However, I do hope that when asked politely others would be willing to yield their seat if it is an "even trade".

CWPFLY

I wouldn't dream of asking someone to trade a better seat for a worse. Recently I asked someone to trade a window seat further back with my husband who had a window seat further forward and that worked out well.

It seems though, that recently people have felt entitled to my seats. On one recent flight, I arrived relatively late and had a aisly seat in coach. When I got there, there was a college-age kid there and it took me a while to determine that he was not in his proper seat because he apparently did not understand "I believe this is my seat. Do you also have a boarding pass with this seat assignment?" until I said it several times. Finally he said this was not his seat and moved, though one of his many friends around me muttered "you would think we haven't been on this plane since San Francisco", as if that should impact the fact that I specifically requested and received an aisle seat and entitle them to the seats that they chose rather than those that they were assigned.

Yesterday I also boarded a flight late and the person in my seat was well aware that he was in the wrong seat, but attempted to make me feel very guilty as I told him that this was my seat. The funny thing was that my seat was in the aisle of the last coach row (no recline), and his (apparent) assigned seat was an aisle one row up and across. I guess he was hoping for no middle passenger, but it turns out that someone boarded after me and sat next to me, so I guess it wouldn't have mattered anyway (and this person wasn't that large, but made a habit of pushing his arm and upper torso into my space, something that I haven't seen that often in not-large individuals).

In this case, I guess the FA told the first guy that all the passengers were on board and he could take whatever seat he wanted because she apologized to him and seemed miffed that I was took my assigned seat from him.

It irritates me when people take my assigned seat and I will never trade in those circumstances unless there is a really good reason or the seat is better. I would never take someone else's seat without asking and would not ask to change for a better seat.

Oh, the other story I was going to relate relates to a CO flight where many of us elites did not get upgraded. I noticed a man a couple of rows in front of me asking the FA if he could take an empty FC seat. She told him that he could not (if there are empty FC seats, the standby lists are generally cleared by pulling the next person from coach). However, a young couple came down the aisle and the woman was in the middle seat next to the man. The young man seemed confused because his seat was 1B (he obviously did not know the difference between coach and first class and didn't understand why he and his girlfriend were separated). The "nice" man next to his girlfriend waited until they both were seated and then "generously" offered to give up his seat next to her in exchange for the young man's FC seat. The young man readily agreed!

FF

This is interesting. I thnk that one has to judge on situation by situation. To answer your question, I would have said "No, I'm sorry I need to be by the aisle, I'm sorry". I have traded places at a FAs reqest in F HNL-LAX to allow two bereaved people to sit together. Latecomers have to take their chances, I'm sorry.

On charter flights in Europe, that was always happening, and I always declined even when some of the FAs behaved like Platoon Drill Sergeants. Equally if anyone is in my assigned seat, I'd have them turfed out by the FA unless they had made a genuine error ie Row 4 rather than row 5 because they misread the signs. If the seat is identical, who cares? If they are just trying it on, then I'd get an FA without hesitation.

I agree, it's pretty tough to turn somebody down like that, especially when it involves children. But On a long flight--I would explain I just need to arrive in the best shape possible, business mtg, etc.

Well, I can't believe it. I am back here with a story that I never thought would have happened to me after all of my preparation.

I had asked for and been assigned aisle seats EWR-HKG (16 hours!) and HKG-EWR (not as bad, only 13 hours). It was bad enough not to be in first class (as I had erroneously assumed I would be, being new to CO, travel to Asia and so on - I do get upgraded going to Mexico but I guess they consider it part of the US practically, and only found out 2 days before the flight that no pay, no upgrade, OUCH)

I was in row 17, which is the second row of coach on the 777. There was a very large man in the middle seat - he said that he weighed 300 pounds - complaining vigorously that he was with his wife (seated in the bulkhead row ahead of us, also in the middle), that he had booked seats together, it was her birthday and so on, and that they didn't get the seats he had requested. It turned out that due to traffic problems they had arrived late ("within the hour") to the airport and apparently their seats were reassigned. The FAs were called in but the flight was full so there was not much that could be done. Apparently, due to the weather scare we had in NY last week, the Monday and Tuesday flights had been canceled so this flight, which was supposed to be fairly empty, was jam-packed.

I felt bad for him and could see that he would be very uncomfortable. He also said that he needed to stretch out since he would have heart palpitations if he could not get up ... to make a long story short, I offered to swap WITH HIS WIFE, since I felt that being in the middle wouldn't be as bad in a bulkhead as it would in my row. Well guess what! She did not want to move! She liked being able to stretch her legs out!! So ... I had to swap with him! He got my aisle and I got to sit in the middle, in coach, for 16 hours!

Both he and my neighbor to the left were very nice and interesting however. In the end I could not believe that I helped him, but they really appreciated it and thanked me. (The only thing was ... my one neighbor was very nice and did not use the armrest, but when he fell asleep, he turned his body so that his legs were coming into the middle seat and I tried to shift but found the big man leaning into me as well. His feet were actually under the seat in front of me and his arm took up the entire armrest ... since he was asleep, what could I do but snuggle up against him, wife or not!)

I figured it would not kill me to help them and I know that it would have been worse for him. I figured that someday someone would help me in a similar circumstance. Well I got my payback right away!

On the flight home I was really tired and looking forward to sleeping. The flight was said to be 80% full. I was in my aisle seat ... and a man came up and you could tell he was hoping that I was just a free-loader since he asked me what my assigned seat was. (DUhhhh .... THIS ONE!) He said that he was in the window and I said that I had been hoping the row would be empty since I really wanted to sleep. He said that he had been hoping for the same thing, so I said, "Well then you better run quick and find an empty row before someone else has the same idea ... " and he did! I got to have all three blankies and pillows that had been in the row, and fell asleep and when I woke up, it was 9 hours into the flight! I was so excited. But I still can't believe I swapped with this man.

Oh, it was interesting on the flight out that a man was stretched out across a row right away. Everyone was getting annoyed since others wanted to move from middle seats to aisles and when the FA was contacted, she said "he can't do that! I am going to wake him up as soon as the food carts come out ..." well it turned out that he had paid for all three seats since apparently he had to go right to work when he landed. He had posted all three boarding passes on the backs of the seats so that people wouldn't bother him.

But I got my row and didn't even have to pay for the extra seats!

[This message has been edited by CozumelJen (edited 03-12-2001).]

Isn't it amazing how whenever someone wants to swap seats, they invariably offer an inferior seat? I'm one of those people who hates to say "no," but I learned quickly on a flight to Rome last November.

Although my elite status didn't get me upgrades, I did at least have enough status to get exit row, bulkhead, or at least aisle seats.

On the first leg I had that wonderful window exit seat on a 737-700, where there's no seat in front, and no one asked me to swap on that one. As it turned out, that was the last time I would sit unsolicited.

On the EWR-FIO segement a man asked if I would trade my bulkhead seat for a non-bulkhead aisle, so that he could sit with his mother who, of course, couldn't move back with him because she recently had leg surgery. Well, I swapped, and spent the next 9 hours regretting it. After all, I wasn't swapping so his mother would have addl. space, but so that he could sit with her. I myself had an infected leg at the time, and being 6'1" tall and over 200 lbs., I really suffered for the rest of the flight.

On the return, I couldn't get the bulkhead, but I did get an aisle. Well, sure enough, a lady came up, and said the gentleman in the middle seat was her husband, and wondered if I would trade for her window seat so they could sit together.

I think what turned me "cold-hearted" this time was she only asked me. She never asked the man in the window seat if he would be able to trade window seat for window seat. Hummmm!

Then, on the final segment I was back on a 737-700, and had that same wonderful emergency exit row window seat with no seat in front. Well, guess what! A lady sat down in the aisle seat, and asked if I would be willing to swap. No reason, other than she liked my seat. Well, duhhh! I was substantially larger than her, but I'd really rather have my knees jammed into my chin for 5 hours! Talk about nerve!!! I explained that I got that seat by booking way in advance, and I had enough elite status to get that seat, but not enough to get upgraded, and that I had an infected leg.

Well, now prepared for further solicitations, I've decided that I'm not about to be a sap again. I don't mind trading seats in FC. To my way of thinking, they're all good there, so it's not an issue.

But in Coach/Economy, it's quite another story. I'm always willing to accomodate a family who wants to sit together, as I hope they'd do for me. But, now I'm only willing to swap for an equal or better seat! If they're not willing to do that, they're not swapping to be with family. They're doing it to get a better seat...at my expense!!! Would they go to the FC cabin, and ask someone there to swap for their Coach seat???

------------------
In Economy...no one can hear you scream!

http://www.denycontinentalthefreddie.com/

I still remember an episode a few years ago on a United 767 redeye from SFO to EWR. I had requested and been assigned the first row of coach (16A I think) at the window. At the very last second, just before the doors closed a man sat down next to me. He asked if I would mind switching with his wife who was on the center aisle a few rows back. The plane was not that full and the seat next to his wife was actually empty!

Well, I said no I would not like to change. The flight attendant (from the business class galley) witnessed this exchange and threw me a dirty look. She then gave the man a complimentary glass of champagne. The guy sat next to me for the entire trip even though he could have gone and sat next to his wife! I think first class was full, so it was probably a United employee too

I have asked to swap before but I have always given up the better seat for the worse. Once a lady looked a me real suspiciously and I had to get the FA to assure her that the seat was better (and it was).

I agree with most everyone on the FC swaps, they're all pretty much the same. I'll swap those no questions asked.

In coach my attitude to being asked is "don't bother me if your thinking you'll get the better seat." Even if it's the family & kids I expect the better seat. On any attempt by someone to trade with me I'll always say "Only if something frosty cold and contains 5% alcohol magically appears in my hand." This is for any trade in coach.

Only 5%? LOL.

I usually try to follow the Golden Rule when it comes to swapping seats. However I think the 'equivalent seat rule' supersedes the Golden rule in most, cases, because I would never try to get a better seat for the inferior one that I've been assigned to!

As CozumelJen said, when you're nice, sometimes you get your paycheck right away!

On a recent CO flight I was assigned 14A. I always book a windows seat regardless of the row I'm in. When I took my seat there was a young man (about 10) sitting in 14B. When I took my seat a woman in 15B asked if I would trade so she could sit with her son in 14B. I commented to her that her seat was a middle seat. She told me yes, but she was sitting in an emergency exit row and I 'would have more room'. After a pleading look in her eyes we switched seats. When I sat in 15B at first I thought that this was a HUGE mistake, as there was a very large man sitting in 15A. He was trying his best to not spill over into my seat, but you know....

Five minutes later a FA comes up to our row and tells 15A that he can move up to First. I of course immediately move over to 15A. A last minute passenger sat in 15B, but at least I got my window seat!

my girlfriend and i were once separated on a DL flight AUS-SLC on an MD plane with 2x3 configuration; i had an aisle-of-two, she had a window-of-three in a different row. she asked the man sitting in the middle seat next to her if he would like to have an aisle seat instead, but he refused, i guess because he didn't understand the request correctly. only a little later he realized what he had refused and wanted to switch anyway, and i of course eagerly took his middle seat.

I was flying MSP-CID one night on a NWA RJ45 (seats like 119 people). FC was mostly full, and there were only about 15-20 people in coach. When I boarded, a NWA mechanic was in my aisle seat, so knowing the flight was practically empty, I just took the aisle seat across from him. We were chatting it up and a woman approached me and told me indignantly I was in her seat. I asked if she'd mind just sitting in the seat in front of me (closer to the front of the plane, and entire empty row), and she acted all put out, like they were gonna claim the body based on the seat number or something. *laugh*

On a crowded plane I wouldn't have even suggested anything like that, but given that every single coach passenger had an entire 2-seat or 3-seat section to themselves, you wouldn't think it would be a major hassle to sit closer to the front of the plane.... the only reason I wasn't sitting in the bulkhead like usual was that particular RJ45 had the skinny overheads over rows 5-10, and I hate putting my bags 5 rows BEHIND me so I can be the last one off the plane. :-)

I would never even consider switching an aisle or window for a middle seat unless the flight is under 90 minutes.