An Onboard Etiquette Question
 

An etiquette question for you FFers out there:

On a recent coast-to-coast (5 hours plus) flight in First Class, I was snug as a bug in a rug in my long-ago selected seat, when at the last minute a couple came aboard (I had seen them earlier at the podium inquiring about their upgrade waitlist position). They asked if I wouldn't mind moving up to take one of their bulkhead seats so that they could sit together. I sort of balked saying "I really prefer this seat" but he came back with a convincing plea and I switched.

I regretted it the rest of the flight. It was, as I said, a bulkhead seat on a A319 with very little legroom (actually less leg "stretch" room than any Coach seat would have). It was uncomfortable and I didn't even have the storage space to put my stuff in the seat back pockets and under the seat in front of me.

My instinct was to graciously give up my seat so they could sit together. But frankly, afterwards I felt cheated and was upset at myself for giving up my comfy seat for this bulkhead one. I've switched many times in the past for folks, but it was always for a "like" seat that I found perfectly acceptable.

Should I have "stuck by my guns" and just told them "Sorry, but no" and endured possible evil glances the rest of the flight? I mean, there was a noticeable difference in seat quality IMHO.

[This message has been edited by PremEx (edited 08-16-2000).]

Did you pay the First Class fare? (you did say you selected the seat a long time ago). If so, I say you shouldn't feel bad at all, since they didn't pay a First Class fare.

I may be flamed heavily for this, but...

I see any moving around the cabin after boarding as doing each other a favor. The other person may have a good-sounding reason to want to change seats, but so do you (the bulk head gives you less leg room and you may want/have to sleep to be prepared for a meeting at your arrival. It all depends. I can't see that anyone has an obligation to switch seats.

With that said, I would not have changed under the circumstances.

/Pete

(those spelling errors again)

[This message has been edited by L-1011 (edited 08-16-2000).]

I am very particular about my F/C seating. So if I get my favorite seat that I would normally want and someone asks to change then I simply say " no thnks, I really prefer this seat." I don't do Bulkheads at all unless it is Buz class on CO and that is the only bulkhead I will sit in for the flight. I see no problem in denying to switch to a bulkhead seat cause they do have advantages and disadvantages. Futhermore, I hate to feel this way but they are in F/C and they should be happy with any seat since it is an upgrade otherwise they can be in coach together and I am sure two people would switch with them then. I have been given bulkheads at the last minute and I took them without hesitation if I wanted to get home. You shouldn't feel bad for saying no.

I am all for being considerate and have moved countless times for the same reason (though was never snug as a bug in a rug in First but more like tight as a sardine in a squashed can in coach http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif )but unless they were, say, on their honeymoon, for example, I think you went above and beyond Premex. Still good for you for being so generous, not enough of that considerate attitude going around these days (FT excepted ofcourse http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif ). Next time, in a similar situation, maybe the couple could sit in the bulkhead seats together (I assume there are two of them) and the bulk head pax can sit in their more comfy chair.

I disagree -- put yourself in the other position. You and your significant other are tarvelling on your long awaited trip. You book your tickets (i dont care -- purchased or upgraded) and find you cant sit next to each other. You think, no problem, we will ask. Lo and behold -- noone is willing to switch. To me, thats a rotten start to a long awaited trip.

Perfect example -- on my flight from BOS to LAX on AA in business class. I had my nice, comfy bulkhead business class seat. Couple boards the plane -- one next to me, one several rows back. Ask the person several rows back to swtich -- SINCE IT WAS THEIR HONEYMOON -- and she said no. Even though the bulkhead is my favorite seat -- I switched. They thanked me profusely. They even made sure they waited when they got off the plane to say thanks. (during the flight, they got to chat and play chess).

To me -- switch is a nice thing.

--Jim

I think it was very kind of you, and because you made two people happy, you did a good thing. Only you can say whether you did the right thing - if being nice to someone else is worth more to you than your comfort for the flight, then you did.

[This message has been edited by james (edited 08-16-2000).]

IMHO, switching seats in a situation like that is 100% voluntary. Would it kill you to accomodate their request? No. Would it kill them to sit apart for a few hours? No. It's appropriate for them to politely ask, and its equally appropriate for you to politely decline. :-)

------------------
Travel is a powerful antidote to contemporary American arrogance.

I have absolutlely no problem switching seats if it is not going to cause me to be uncomfortable.

If I really do not want to switch, I will quietly tell the person to try the passenger seated in the seat next to the other companion. If the other passenger says yes, I am off the hook. If they say no, I will usually switch.

The only time I will not switch, is if I will be switching to a "Short" Bulkhead row on a long flight. I am 6' tall and cannot have my legs "Scrunched-up" on a long haul flight. I will explain this is the reason and endure any angry stares that come my way.

Maybe the question should be "why are there uncomfortable First Class seats"?

You're a nice guy, PremEx. I would probably do the same thing.

My wife & I never ask anyone to move so we can sit together (since we are at different elite levels, we always seem to be in different rows). In fact, I think my wife prefers to sit elsewhere...

Another reason I have for not feeling bad for refusing to give up a good seat is this: if I were in the couple's shoes (getting an upgrade at the last minute), and the gate agent told me there were no contiguous seats, I would decline the upgrade (if contiguous seats were available in coach). If the agent volunteered to board the plane and ask people to changes seats, I wouldn't stop him/her. But I wouldn't board the aircraft and try to do this myself (especially in First), knowing that seats are always assigned before you board the plane (except Southwest, but then there's no First Class, either).

My opinion on this is that when you're flying with someone, it should not be a big deal to choose between contiguous coach seats or separated first class seats.

To generalize, why should it be that when person A asks person B to accept an inferior situation in order to please person A, person B should be made to feel obligated to help out person A? In other words, the very last person to ask for an exchange (due to good planning) should get bottom of the barrel?

No one should ever feel compelled or obligated to give up their seat for the sake of a couple travelling together who did not have the priveledge, or who did not take the time to arrive/book early enough to secure seats together in J/C. I will always try and accomodate any seating request but not at the expense of another customer. If the seat assigned customer does not agree to a seat swap then I respect that as their right.

I always find it fascinating to observe couples who go to great lengths, appealing to the crew or to fellow travellers playing on their sympathies, for the purpose of securing seats side by side. Then, after the shuffle has been done, to further observe this same couple bury themselves individually in newspapers, novels, or magazines or catch them snoozing the aflight time away. Any or all of these singular activities are indulged in without the pair exchanging two words for the duration of the flight. It must have some relationship to the stereotype of a couple sitting across from each other, morning after morning at the kitchen table; reading the same types of material over coffee and not exchanging words or conducting conversation. Routine - the curse of the regimented life sytle. The objective seems to be just sharing space in close proximity to each other. This conduct has always been intriguing to me. If someone has insight into why this seems to be a common pattern outside of what has been speculated please enlighten me.

I will sympathize and try harder to fulfill this request if the couple involved are on their honeymoon, need comfort from each other due to a recent personal tragedy that instigated their travel or to help a couple where one of the pair need that close contact because they are a nervous flyer. For the remainder of travelling couples that find themselves separated in the cabin look at it as an opportunity to meet and "talk" with new people.

Very similar thing happend to me recently. The next time, two days later, I refused to move. They wanted to take my 1B and move me to 5A (757). The FA got really cra**y with me. But ,the guy in 5B would not move either. They finally found a row where they could sit together. I don't mind moving for a "like" seat though. 4B to 5B for example (757). Although I always tell the FA's I moved so they can ask me for my meal first. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

I tend to agree with JSrombough.

If this was a last minute U/G for the couple, they should have understood that they may not be able to sit together.

I too have my favorite F & Y seats, and have given them up more times than not when asked. I'm not sure if I would be so willing to give up a seat to a far less comfortable one, icy stares or not.

Jackie & I got a last minute U/G on a flight last fall & knew we would sit apart...but our feeling was 'it was more comfortable' than sitting in Y, apart or not.

PremEx, you did the chivalrous thing, but I'm not sure I'd do the same thing, especially on a long transcon.

Under the circumstances you mentioned, I would not have given up my seat. It was a request, nothing more, nothing less. All else being equal, I probably would have gathered up my personal belongings and relocated to their comparable seat in an effort to accommodate their request. I've done it quite a few times over the years. However, this was not the case. There are indeed differences among various seating locations, yes, even up front! Meal selection, leg room and lavatory or galley traffic to mention a few. I feel it was probably within reason for them to ask and certainly your prerogative to accept or decline. Bottom line, it's your seat, you don't need a reason!

Besides, you are a Million Miler and you have rights, even when you're not on United! As I recall, the training manuals of all the major carriers identify you, PremEx, (via portrait with cigar in hand) as Thee Esteemed Frequent Flyer Of The Last Millenium with diplomatic immunity, executive privilege and even bumping rights over any United "Employee Class" Passenger. Now that's real clout! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

[This message has been edited by MRLIMO (edited 08-16-2000).]