Flying in different cabin than spouse
 

Just like the title says - I'm curious who routinely does this or it's a relationship no-no. I know it depends on the couple, but do most couples have an issue with upgrading the same person each time, leaving the other in coach?

Flying in different cabin than spouse
 

There's an old saying: happy wife, happy life. Many guys give their upgraded seat assignment to their lady.

That's about the only way this would work. I went through a fast track security line once without my wife and she's never forgotten it.

I don't think any relationship would withstand that......not sitting together is one thing (and may be preferred by some couples), but allowing one to enjoy a better experience than the other would be a relationship killer, IMO. I would be planning on a separation (or maybe even calling a lawyer) before we even got on the plane if my husband tried to do that to me. And I would never accept it the other way around either (me in the upper cabin, him in coach).

I would be thrilled to put my wife in an upper cabin if there was only a choice of one of us. What a great way to do something very nice for your wife. If she wouldn't sit there that is okay, but she should at least be given the choice.

My wife and I were at the head of the line for upgrades ORD-PEK on AA about ten months ago. The gate agent asked me "If only one becomes available, who gets it?" I replied without hesitation "She does." He said "Right answer!" with a big smile and, a while later, gave us two. I have no idea what he would have done had I said something else, but he clearly approved.

I fly a lot more than Mr. Fink does, all in premium cabins. He thought this 'hobby' of mine was silly until he had his first true premium experience 3 years ago flying CX business class, followed by many more great C/J and F products. I created a monster and since then he's been hooked. He enjoys it even more than me, especially the top shelf booze (I don't drink) and the food (I don't eat meat or fish so it's lost on me), while for me, it's all about the seat/pod and just being on a plane. We both love the lounges. So if we only got one upgrade, it would go to him as he just enjoys the entire experience so much. He works hard and I just love to see him enjoy something so much. It makes me happy to make him so happy.

I did it once. Wife wanted to fly Coach and take the savings and buy jewelry. I felt like an idiot. Never did it again.

It only happened to me once. I had met up with my wife on a business trip. I offered her my J seat but she didn't want to leave her sister and brother-in-law who were also travelling with us. I also offered it to my brother-in-law who knew better than to take it. Having been unable to give the business class seat away I took it myself.

On VS at check in, I was saying goodbye to the inlaws, he was offered an upgrade to which she said "not without me he doesn't". Mr Check In said "OK" and provided the second UG. Smiling all the way to the Clubhouse.

Most of the folk I know the hubby gives the upgrade to the wife. If only one upgrade clears in both directions, they'll split it - wife gets it one way; hubby the other way. And then there are some who will decline it entirely so they can both sit in coach.

The thing I don't understand is if they're both upgraded but not seated next to each other & then go through the rigamarole of asking everyone in the cabin if they'll switch. Yes I get it's preferable to sit next to your spouse, but unless it's truly a long-haul flight (and even then) will the world fall apart if you're not next to each for a few hours (exception made for newlyweds)? I get asking someone if they'll switch, but I've been on a few flights where I've watched some couples ask the entire cabin & it gets to be uncomfortable. I also remember watching it happen on two flights & after the couple were seated next to each other they didn't communicate on the flights (reading, watching books, talking to other seatmate but not to the spouse). What was the point of asking the cabin to switch if you were barely going to talk to each other?

Cheers.

In our case, he usually sleeps, so I was thinking of saving money on vacation and getting him a coach award ticket, while buying a ticket for myself. I was 100% last year for upgrades and don't have much reason to believe it'll be different this year. Didn't know how awful it would be to leave him in coach for 2-3 hours!

Because he complained or you felt guilty or because you missed each other so much on the 2-3 hour flight?

Cheers.

Sorry, I meant I didn't know if it would be awful to do it. We've sat apart before (when upgraded without seats next to each other) but I've never left him in coach.

Well just because he's on an award ticket & you're on a paid ticket that has a good chance of upgrade, you still have the option of swapping seats once on-board. But for a 2-3 hour flight I would say it's not that big a deal especially if he sleeps.

Cheers.

Oh, LOL....I don't turn down upgrades.

I have a feeling this is a double standard where people are OK with the wife leaving husband in Y, but not the other way around?

I will always give my wife the option, usually she will take it but not always. I love to travel no matter in coach or upfront just like to be on the move.

Since we are usually flying with our toddler in arms we have a rule that if we only get one upgrade the person who takes it also takes the toddler. It hasn't happened so far but I was really hoping he'd end up in F with her on the last trip. She has a think about trying to be under the F seats, never tries it in Y.

You have the option of giving your hubby the upgrade/swapping seats after you board. If I had a hubby or SO who didn't get to experience biz or first class very often & I did, I'd offer it up to him, especially if the flight is only 2-3 hours long. Won't kill you to be in E for that time frame. If it doesn't matter to him about F vs E & he's going to sleep that's one thing, but doesn't hurt to make the offer.

FWIW - I've also done that w/ my sister. We didn't travel together very often (and her job didn't involve travel; mine had me on the road all the time w/ a pretty strong upgrade success %), but when we did I'd either try to get her upgraded along w/ me, or offer her the first seat & I took coach if only one upgrade was available. One year I gave her an int'l award ticket. She thought it was going to be in economy. I booked her int'l F, bought my ticket in E, & upgraded to C.

Cheers.

I think this might be our happy medium...I try for the upgrade, but take the toddler too.

DH rarely flies, but last time he slept through a meal service and I swore I wasn't wasting stickers oon him again.

This seems a little over the top. Why should you both have to take off your shoes just to wind up in the same place? Better to give all the carryons to the fast track person.

Different cabins, is another issue. When booking awards I grab what's available and this can sometimes be a mix of INTL F and INTL J. In that case we split the difference and one flies in F each way.

We are grown ups, and don't have to sit next to each other let alone in the same cabin. If one of us gets upgraded, we consider it a partial win.

If we manage to get only 1 upgrade, I give it to my wife. Our more common scenario is booking a mix of paid and award seats: that sometimes puts her in F and everyone else in Y as well.

No problems splitting up at security. I can often go through the Precheck line with our kids and most/all of the carryons, leaving my wife's process simpler than it would be otherwise.

I cannot wait to see you on the TV show "Divorce Court"

This makes me happy we both have PreCheck.

Me? Or another poster?

My spouse is 6'3 and big (think ex-football player). The one time only one of us could be upgraded I gave it to him and he took it. Karma took care of the rest as I got upgraded at the last minute after he had already boarded. But I wouldn't have minded if I didn't, he is so uncomfortable in coach.

This last is me. I am 6'-5" and SO is 5'-6". It makes little sense to cram me into a Y seat when J is available. If I offered, she would refuse. I don't understand the posters who talk about divorce court over a seat upgrade. :rolleyes:

If You Have To Ask...
 

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.” Erica Jong.

He gets upgrade. I am short, he is tall. I'd rather sleep across the water on two or three coach seats when available. Similarly at biz dinner events we ask organizer for seats at different tables. If we wanted to sit next to and talk to each other we'd stay home.

We do it from time to time. Definitely take one upgrade versus holding out for two and having both people in Y. Our relationship has survived 15 years that way and I'm sure there are many more years to come where this will be, by far, the smallest challenge we face.

That is us. I gave away several upgrades to sit with my wife, I gave her a bunch, and we split some when we got one each way.

That's us as well.

If we are both flying on international award tickets, I work hard to get us in the same cabin. I always manage it on the long haul portion but sometimes not on the domestic connections. If I can't, better to have one up front than none. Recently, we were traveling domestically, one on an award ticket, the other on paid. The one on the paid ticket got 3 of 4 flights upgraded. The other one knew going in it would be coach. Life goes on.

This situation hasn't come up much for my wife and me. But if it did, our decision would be situational...

Since I'm the travel coordinator for the two of us and can generally plan far in advance when award and upgrade availability is ok, I always make sure that when we're traveling together cross-country we're upgraded for domestic (using AA miles and co-pay) at time of ticketing or obtain J or F award seats together for international.

There may yet be scenarios (such as award availability constraints) in which one might have to fly in one cabin and one in another for international vacations. In that case - such as an upcoming HKG trip - I'd definitely make sure she gets F and I get J (unless of course an F seat opens up for me also :D).

However, one time when it was a choice between F and Y for cross-country domestic travel, she insisted I take F because I'm 6'2" and have a bad back and she's 5'4" and when traveling alone domestically or internationally is thoroughly indifferent to seat assignment or even being squeezed on a domestic discount carrier.

If by some chance due to some flight change it would come down to one in J and one in Y for international, we'd discuss it. But in view of my height and back and the fact that she's much shorter and much less spoiled than I am, I have to be honest that I'd opt for J unless she insisted otherwise (which I know she wouldn't).

Flying in different cabin than spouse
 

This is how we do it - person that buys the ticket gets the UG. I am more likely to clear than my TH, and if she bought the ticket, then she deserves the first UG. In this case, I will move from my aisle to get her a window. If she clears later, then I take what is left. She's been known to downgrade back to window seat incoach if she clears into a middle seat or the middle section on a wide body. I do not understand the need to sit together, but maybe that is just me.

I made the mistake once of sitting in F (battlefield upgrade) while wife was in Y. And, I hear about it every vacation we've gone on since and it's going on 10 years ago.

This is what happened with me and Mrs. Lee.

I honestly don't get the "always give it to your wife" thing. If the wife is the one that travels all the time and often gets upgraded, why not treat the husband?

On a quick domestic we'll often split up and just switch off who is in J/F and who stays in Y. Unless the F seat is not a window, in which case Mrs. Lee keeps her window in coach. There is no "wife must always get the better option" thing. We are reasonable adults and both enjoy the comfort of an F seat as well as giving each other the nicer thing. She also understands that if I am joining her on a vacation after a long work trip in Y, I may value the F seat more than her in that moment.

On longer flights we'll decline the solo upgrade to sit together. This is usually fine since a) we purposely try to book equipment on these flights with a two-year window/aisle config in Y, and b) for the really long flights, we book in F/J to begin with.

You don't seriously think it's no big deal to leave someone you care about standing alone in a long line so that you can breeze on through? Or, that it's OK to stand in an annoying line alone and watch someone you care about pass you by rather than keep you company in your shared line-waiting misery? Personally, I am happy to keep my friends and family company in a line up and have no desire to spend it alone (or leave them to spend it alone). If we're sharing a vacation/trip/whatever experience, that includes the transit as well as the destination. Hassle shared is hassle halved.

I've solved my problems---We travel on different airlines.;)

Yes, I do.

Minimize the aggregate pain, maximize the aggregate pleasure. If that means only one person gets the "good" experience at some point during the flight, well, we take the one over zero. We're adults and know that it is not because we hate the other person or want them to have a worse experience. That's just the way it works out some times.

The person in the easier/shorter line takes the bags and does something useful with the time saved, like refilling water bottles or such. The net is still a win for both of us.

My thoughts exactly. We would never intentionally book only one of us in J, but if we get one upgrade, we both understand why I should get it. I am a foot taller, 100lbs heavier, and I have an interest in flying.

If there was something that she would get much more enjoyment out of than me, of course she would take the better seat. For example, if we got one seat upgraded to front row at a concert to a band she loved, of course she would get the better seat.

Some posters seem to have lost their spine from sitting in Y too much.