Honie

As this has been added to a longer thread I thought I would pick up on some of the tips left above by others.

When we first started flying my children were small I was a very nervous flyer, it was new to me and I had 2 toddlers to deal with on top of that, we went straight for a nice long haul to the other side of Canada, so just under 10 hours in economy. I used Valium on that flight, taking it half an hour before boarding, it kicked in just before take off and was brilliant. I never took it again but took as much control of the situation possible.

Count the chair backs between my seat and the nearest exits in front and behind.

Always flat shoes, if I have heels on I carry a pair of flats to put on for take off and landing so I don’t worry about having to remove heels in an emergency situation or have to try and remove myself and family from a flight barefoot with luggage potentially on the floor.

Pick seating as early as possible and with the most space as possible, flying as a family of 4 we started taking the 4 middle seats, then I learnt the best place was 2 sets of 2 at the back of the plane, there’s often slightly more space due to the curve of the plane plus I could stand and move around in the gallery or toilet area as often as I wanted without disturbing others.

I would have the last set of seats in the 2 so my husband was in front, my current anxiety was triggered on a short haul business flight where the lady in front of me used recline as war fare after I knocked her seat back getting into my seat and my tray locked back up with a click. Someone reclining really makes me feel hemmed in so my husband protected me from that. If travelling just the two of us short haul we book the front seats where possible.

I tell the Fa if I’m anxious, as I said above I have never actually had a panic attack on a plane but most flights if I’m feeling anxious I let them know. Most times they are brilliant and assure me I can pop up to them for a chat during quiet times. They also check on me every so often.

For long haul I always change into less restrictive clothing, no matter what class I’m in or time of the flight. Being comfortable and not feeling hot, restricted and flustered makes every class more bearable. If not in first I take warm socks, yoga leggings and an over size tee shirt, plus a throw or blanket. This also helps me get a cosy mindset, comfy clothes, blanket and a film with a glass of wine, what’s not to like.

Arrive a little early to the airport, work out gate timings then pay for lounge access if you don’t have it. It’s calmer.

Upgrade, even on short haul that extra little space is precious! Long haul is so much better with legroom and less people in the cabin. This isn’t possible for everyone but if it’s in your means try it once, you might find it makes all the difference.

I appreciate I look a little strange, answering my own question however all these things mean I do get on flights and have no issues on them and my recent pre flight anxiety is odd, hopefully some of the things I do will help someone in a similar position. I’m hoping the hypnosis app suggested above will replace the security blanket carrying Valium gave me previously now I am too anxious about side effects.

darthbimmer

Reread the first dozen posts in this thread. There's some good advice there. Then consider visiting a psychiatrist to help you better understand your fear. Phobia is by definition not rational. Thus what works for an ordinary person, or even another person with a similar phobia, may not work for you. A qualified professional can help you identify what will work for you. Best wishes on many happy journeys.

aquamarinesteph

My other half travels with Valium. He can take it and NOT fall asleep. (I'd be out for a couple of days.)

But that doesn't mean I am 100% comfy while flying. For me, I break things up into manageable segments. Boarding. Check. First drink service. Check. Food. (If applicable) Check. Clean up of trash. Check. Tray tables up for landing. Check.

We all have different ways of coping with stress. You'll find what works best for you. And with enough practice, you will find it.

profnot

OP -

You are not alone. I hate take offs and landings but otherwise I'm OK.

Since this started when you had children, I suggest buying lots of term life insurance so you know the family will be OK if something happens. Also make certain your Will, other legal documents, and financial instruments are in place so your kids are taken care of by the people you and your spouse have chosen.

A friend has huge anxiety with flying which he needs to do for work a few times a year. Visiting a psychiatrist and getting tranquilizers for plane trips made all the difference.

A tip anyone with anxiety can use is square breathing.

In a fear state, most people stop breathing or breathe shallowly. This is an animal response to make us quiet and still. Deep breathing is hugely helpful in getting oxygen to the brain and calming the fight or flight muscles.

Square breathing: 16 counts for the entire cycle.
Slowly breathe in over 4 counts.
Hold your breath for 4 counts.
Slowly exhale over 4 counts.
Hold for 4 counts.
Repeat.

Square breathing is incredibly effective. You can do this silently on the plane, in bad traffic, and in many other high anxiety situations. I've done it while my egocentric boss was delivering super insulting lectures to my team and I wanted to avoid punching him in the nose.

ijkh

I understand feeling nervous flying. When I am anxious about something else it makes flying seem more unpleasant. Anxieties bind. That is when you have a lot of other free floating anxieties they can glom onto your flying fear and make it seem worse. Not sure that is clear enough but I tried. Flying to vacation is so much more relaxing than flying for stressful work or a funeral.

A few tips that may help:
1. Try flying in first class. It feels safer. Why? Because there is more room. More attention from the flight crew. It is further from the engines so there is less noise. I always feel safer in first class or maybe it is just nicer. That said I remind myself this statistically is the safest form of transportation.

2. Take flight during the daytime. It is helpful to me sometimes to look out the window. Other people don't like to be near the window. It is a personal thing. To me anyway cramped nature of air travel is balanced by the view outside.

3. Take offs for me are the worst. To me it is just unnatural to leave the ground. On the other hand take offs can be a beautiful and magical experience. Whatever your own issue with flying try soothing music on your headphones to help. Or try podcasts. I like NPR Wait Wait don't tell me on flights. Do what you can to normalize flying.

4. Remember this is the price of traveling and seeing the world. Be grateful you get to fly. It is actually a treat. Some people never get to go anywhere.

rumbataz

I hate feeling claustrophobic on board and fly in an Airbus A380 for my mid-to-longhaul flights whenever I can. The cabin design, even in Economy, seems more airy and roomy. So the aircraft type may also help a little in alleviating some anxiety and fear of flying.

stut

I've gone through periods of being anxious about flying (although looking back, these correlated with periods of general anxiety where I had to fly quite a lot, so it's probably not a specific fear).

My own experience (anxiety is personal, I'm trying to avoid giving advice):

• Fear of this nature is often irrational. Trying to find a rational cause for it is often an unhelpful distraction.
• Getting help with anxiety in general made anxiety around flying go away.
• Watching the cabin crew really helped. If I was starting to freak out because of some noise or vibration, I'd just look over to them doing their thing, unperturbed, and realise that everything was normal.
• All those people you think are looking at you - they're not.

rumbataz

This specific point has helped me manage my anxiety. I used to get close to a panic attack if I thought that people were looking at me or noticing me. Realising that nobody really gives a toss and that they're far more interested in the apps on their phones / their book / etc, etc., has helped a lot!

Anxiety caused huge problems at airports for me as it used to caused me to sweat buckets and that just made things even more awkward whilst going through security!

Low Roller

I find this to be helpful in many situations that I perceive to be stressful. If the people who actually do this every day and know what's normal don't look concerned, it helps me relax.

StartinSanDiego

There are some terrific resources online to help with this. A google search will give you lots of results. If I recall, an airline pilot did a video that many people found helpful. I'm sorry, I don't recall more than that, but someone reading the thread might remember.

FlyBoy24

We have a flight in 8 days. I am extremely nervous. My anxiety is not with the plane crashing, but more so in having an anxiety or panic attack once on board.

I have flown before, including October, with little issue, but my anxiety lately has really taken off.

My Dr. prescribed Klonopin, 10 pills, 0.5 mg. Both he and the pharmacist recommened "testing" ahead of time. Today I took one, about 90 mins later I did feel a little more relaxed and a little tired, but not what I feel is enough. Now, 8 hours later, I feel pretty much the same as before the medicine.

I have a follow up Wednesday. I feel like I need something stronger or different.

Any thoughts?

gfunkdave

Klonopin should take effect within 5-10 mins. It's designed for panic attacks where you can't wait 90 mins. Talk to your doctor, and good luck. You'll be fine.

Effects last up to a few hours.

FlyBoy24

Thanks. Do you think I may just need a stronger dose? Will I build up a tolerance in just the last week or so if I keep "testing"?

gfunkdave

I'm not a doctor. The only real answer will come from your doctor. It sounds to me like you just need a stronger dose, or perhaps a different med. There are other anti-panic attack meds out there. I have taken klonopin in the past, and within about 5 mins on an empty stomach I felt like I'd had a couple glasses of wine, and things I'd had on my mind that day were much less pressing. It was rather pleasant. I can see how it could be habit forming.

EricH

My expert medical opinion is that you should not seek medical advice from random strangers who may not actually have any medical expertise.