When making the reservation, you are provided the opportunity to indicate that physical assistance is required. This can also be done at check-in. Why leave it to chance? Under average circumstances, carrying no more one can lift for oneself is certainly good advice. However, this is a case where the traveler has a physical challenge, and the airlines are equipped to deal with such situations.

Make the necessary arrangements in advance, and good luck to your wife for a speedy recovery and a comfortable flight.

What flight and what date? Maybe one of the FT's will be on board.....!

Yeah, the reality is that those who clearly can't do it themselves normally will be able to get help from other passengers. Ask nicely!

I recently hurt my shoulder. Couldn't lift my bags. So I checked them. this way I didn't need to worry about asking for assistance and didn't have to listen to everyone else's advice of leaving it home, which isn't helpful of course. What would everyone have us do, travel to a destination without any clothes?

When I can no longer lift my bag will be the time for me
to reconsider my packing and luggage choices.

At that point it might be time to consider checking a roller
rather than schlepping a carry-on.

I am very independent and dislike asking others to assist
me with my stuff... they have their own stuff.

However, having said that it would certainly be nice to
know that common courtesy still exists... something which
seems to be in short supply these days.

I traveled shortly after major surgery two years ago. The surgeon put the fear of God into me about lifting and causing a hernia. I had a lightweight bag I could normally easily lift. A friend assured me that if I said to a fellow passenger that I had recent surgery, would he help, that the passenger would. And that was my experience. People were extraordinarily kind, both in the TSA line and on the plane.

I've helped dozens of people hoist their bags up - often in self defense since it is either teetering above my head or about the crush MY belongings. And I'm happy to help.

I actually engaged an FA in conversation about their role once, and was politely told that by contract they really shouldn't be helping, but will do so from time to time, particularly to help move bags around when they're inefficiently loaded in the bin. BUT, she also told me that she'd recently come off several weeks leave after hurting her back while helping lift bags, and it was her liability since the airline is specific that they are not responsible for injuries suffered while helping with bags, since that is no an assigned FA duty.

I'm of the opinion that carryon luggage is an individual responsibility, and if anyone can't manage their bag they should exercise their option to check that bag. Does anyone really need to carry on anything more than a small bag containing a few items, something that can easily slip under their seat? Anything more is for convenience.

There are always people willing to help. Which is awesome.
This whole "liability issue" is used way too much by people not wanting to help out. Specially with small carry-ons. Let me guess, it must be a North-American thing to always say "liability". In the developing world you actually get helped out.

I have helped some older passengers to remove their carry-ons several times. Not an issue as carry-ons are hardly more than 10kgs most of the time. Taking it out from bin and put it on the seat is not that hard when everyone is already standing to deplane.

Once on our train ride in Austria, the other passengers in our cabin area helped us take our BIG luggage from the (top) storage racks, even though we did not ask/request them. We had a lot of big luggage which was around 23kgs per piece.

Which airline was this on, OP ?

My carry-on is my only bag. It is wheel-less soft-sided and 22" x 14" x 9".

Despite being able to check for free I bring it on-board for the following reasons:

- no waiting for luggage at arrival
- avoid issue of stolen or lost luggage
- cpap and meds are in there, will not risk in checked

Upon boarding I already have the items out I want seated with me, toss
them on my seat, hoist my carry-on up and slip into my seat.

That has also been my experience.

As a fully continent 40yo guy, I would totally help you out...

I have been frankly surprised at how helpful other travelers were when I was on crutches, even though I didn't really need the help. It almost gives me faith in humanity.

Correct, it's not 'their job'. It is your job to take care of yourself. Some may be nice and help, but don't expect it all the time. That is part of your responsibility to be considerate to your fellow passengers and not hold up the process for boarding and deplaning. If your medical issue required you to stand all the time, would you expect them to give you an exception to having to stay seated most of the time? I have had some major surgery a few years back. I still needed to travel for work. I did not try to sit in an exit row seat nor expect people to take care of me until I was able to do it myself.

+1.

While I will often help out a passenger struggling with a bag near me (I am tall and unafraid of 40lb bags) I believe that "depending on the kindness of strangers" is no way to plan one's trip. Check your bags if you can't lift them. Checked baggage is an entire system designed and optimized to minimize your burden of dragging heavy bags around the airport and the airplane.

The airline is going to be rather upset (and quite rightfully so) at being asked to send in a staff person to help put a bag into the overhead bin when there were likely dozens of fellow passengers around who would have done it in a matter of seconds.

I don't see what the concern is. The odds that no one (flight attendant or passenger) will be willing to help a disabled person put their bag into the bin are just about zero. If no one on the plane is willing to help, the pilot would have to open the doors and ask the passenger to disembark along with their luggage, and the media would have a field day. Needless to say, that isn't going to happen.

Thanks for the comments. I agree it shouldn't be a problem for my wife to just ask someone for help. The fact that the stewardess was rude to her friend just made her a little nervous. The bag in question, by the way, is a computer bag that is too big to fit under the seat.