First of all, I would note that in this case, the passenger did take it up with the airline and the airline then forced people to move-- so if you have a problem with that outcome I suggest your problem is with the airline.

Second, as far as I am concerned no one owes me special consideration because I am flying with children. However, the child, who is a paying pax, does deserve special consideration. Just as a disabled pax is rightly entitled to a seat at the front of the plane, a small child-- who is probably in diapers much less capable of visiting the lav or managing a flight by himself/herself-- is rightly entitled to sit with one parent.

Now most airlines find ways that allow status pax to pick seats but also allow small children to sit with a parent. In cases where those systems break down for whatever reason, I think basic consideration for other travellers (which includes the small child and anyone traveling within earshot of the small child) requires that accommodations be made. That's why I suggested a private plane-- because you seemed to have no consideration for other pax, and I think consideration for others is essential when you are travelling on a flying bus. However, I don't really expect you to agree with me-- sounds like you would feel perfectly justified making a 95 yo woman, or a paraplegic pax, take a seat in the last row of the plane before you gave "your" seat up.

I agree -- if the airline forces me to move, my problem is with the airline. However, if a passenger thinks I should move to show some compassion, sorry, but that's a pretty odd definition of the word.

Sure. How is that my problem? Honestly, I'm much more inclined to help a disabled passenger -- he or she didn't choose to be disabled. You, however, chose to have children and still maintain the kind of lifestyle that permits discretionary air travel. It's certainly your right to do so, but don't expect me to inconvenience myself to accommodate you.

Not by me. That you want to travel with your children is not my problem, nor is it the problem of any other stranger. If it's an emergency, fine. If it's a visit to Disneyland, you're not asking for compassion, you're demanding an entitlement.

This, by the way, is not just true on airplanes. Having a child does not vest you with superior rights. I can't imagine why you would think it would.

You have a bizarre understanding of the meaning of consideration if you think it includes your taking what doesn't belong to you because you have a child. How about showing some consideration for me, and simply leave me alone, rather than trying to make your problem my problem? I'm not the one demanding something from someone else. That's like saying that I'm in considerate because I don't want you to punch me in the nose.

As for private planes, you're the one with the special requirements that, evidently, can't met without you imposing on strangers. Perhaps you should look into that solution.

Nope, quite the contrary. How odd that you don't see the difference between a 95 year-old woman or a paraplegic, and a parent that expects everyone to accommodate their desire to take their children wherever they want, regardless of whom they impose upon.

As I said, you have a bizarre understanding of the meaning of, "consideration." Consideration doesn't require my accepting impositions from strangers who are too selfish to take care of their own special needs. Consideration does require you respecting the privacy of other people and not imposing on them because you think you're entitled.

On most airlines, you can choose your seats in advance, and if booked far enough in advance can be guaranteed adjacent seats (a nearly empty plane at that point:).)
I envision the following scenario, say a 2 and 4 year old sitting together, very bored with flying (even adults are bored), will start playing "games"--disturbing to the nearby pax; if they are separated this is less likely to occur.

I do as well. I am frequently asked to change seats to accomodate someone else (I'd saying on at least a third of my flights that I get asked by another passenger), and so after awhile it feels like no one plans in advance.

I don't care if a couple wants to sit together or not, just make those arrangements in advance when possible. And for the most part I think the airlines are pretty good about keeping very young children with at least one parent.

I enjoy sitting with my traveling companions; sometimes it's
the only time I get to talk to them, if we're on MRs, for
example.

So I have a flight this Friday with one of my regular Star
mileage hounds, and we had 3BC at booking, some months
ago. Next thing I knew, we lost our seats to 4C and
somewhere in the back of the plane. Last login I moved
us to 12BC, the exit row, which had opened up, but
apparently that didn't take ... crap on Continental,
crap on Shares.

Funny how this 'compassion' thing only goes one way: towards the parents travelling with kids.

Does a honeymoon couple trump a family with (school age) kids who want to sit together? Do the needs of someone with medical reasons for choosing an aisle seat count for nothing compared to a family that wants to sit together?

Do we distinguish between a family who 'wants' to sit together and a family that genuinely 'needs' to sit together?

When are folks (with or without families) going to learn rule number one for improving your chances at a successful seat swap: do NOT ask me to surrender what I consider a 'good' seat for a lesser one!

Example: I'm seated in the aisle seat of a 2-seat exit row. Row behind has three seats, is actually less pitch than other rows in coach (I've made the mistake of sitting there!). Rows are slightly offset, so the window seat of the full row only has 'half' a seat in front - one leg can stretch out, and the window pax can squeeze out alongside the fuselage.

Pax in row 2 window seat comes up to me. He tells me that the lady next to him is his wife and we (he and I) have to switch seats so they can sit together. I politely say 'no, thanks'. Guy goes on and on, louder and louder - she's his wife (middle-aged), they have to sit together, his seat is plenty of extra legroom (I have about 6 feet of 'legroom' in front of me, so this is a real joke). Interestingly, during the entire discussion, the wife never says a word.

Never crossed the guy's mind that he might have had much better luck asking the middle seat pax in his row to swap with the wife's exit row, unlimited leg room seat. :rolleyes:

LOL ^

True, but on the other hand, as a seatmate I'd rather have a small kid next to his/her parent rather than on his/her own. As long as the parent makes sure that the kid behaves, of course.

With my wife and kids I like us to all sit together. But I travel quite a lot with my business partner, who always chooses aisle whereas I prefer window. Whenever anyone suggests sitting together, we say it's fine like this. When on the road we're only apart when we go to bed (fortunately!), and sitting (slightly) away from each other provides a nice break from work conversations.

My co-workers and I purposely make sure that we are not sitting together. I see them enough at work I don't need extra time with them.

Unless someone is working togehter on a specific project where they need to sit together, I don't understand why people would purposely want to sit with their co-workers.

I travel with a friend on occasion. We do not attempt to get seats together, sometimes we are lucky and get isle seats across from each other. We make no huge effort. Our thought is, as others have posted, we will see each other the whole trip, sitting together isn't important. More often than not, for at least one flight, we are on a red eye anyway, where we are both trying to get to sleep, not trying to converse with each other. So the only time I have sympathy with seating issues is by passengers who have children, who haven't booked early enough to secure seats together.

The airlines make this a problem too in that they allow "Status" flyers the option of the entire plane. It isn't unsual to find a seating plan where aisle seating is booked leaving not option for lets say families. One way to solve this would be to perhaps save 1 or 2 rows in the back for families with children and should there be none open these seats up during OLCI.

Most of my travels are with my husband. I'm not bothered if I can't sit next to him whether it's a long haul or short haul flight. The only reason why I would like him next to me is only so I don't have to sit next to a strangers but I don't see the need to sit together at all times. Plus I treat it as my me time before I start my holidays when I will be spending days and nights with him anyway.

Clearly yes. Families do need to sit together - or, rather, young children need to sit with a parent or other responsible person. (Yes, I know children travel unaccompanied, but they shouldn't have to if their family is on the plane. And very young children can't be separated from their family anyway.) And there will be some vulnerable adults who will need to sit next to the person that they are travelling with.

As for the rest, it's often nice to sit with one's travelling companions, but rarely essential. I remember, for example, a couple making an awful fuss because they couldn't sit together on a flight from London to Vienna. As the flight only lasts two hours or so, I couldn't see that it ought to be such a major problem.

Perhaps I'm prejudiced though. I used to travel sometimes with a more senior work colleague who always insisted that we should sit together "so we can go through some of these papers and documents". Achieving this requirement that we sit together always involved my waiting around for him so that we could check in together. Anyway, I'd get on the plane all primed for a work session. My colleague, meanwhile, would get distracted by the menu or the wine list or the view out the window, eat whatever meal was due, and then fall asleep. So much for working on the plane!

I am surprised at the "black and white" philosophy exhibited by some posters.

it is generally easy enough to see if some one is requesting out of "entitlement" or because the airline scr*w*d them over. If it is the former, not a chance..the latter, I will consider a switch.

At one point in time my sister regularly traveled with 3 kids under 10 across country at peak holiday. Because of the $$$ involved, she always booked months ahead. Not once did she get to keep the seats she had originally selected, and she had no choice but to ask others to switch. It was a PITA for everyone, and I was quite surprised to hear comments some people made to her...when in actuality, she had appropriately planned.

On the other hand, I am always amazed when 2 middle aged adult request seat changes and want to uproot everyone in sight to sit together on a relatively short flight. I will often do it - but really? I could care the least whether I am sitting next to Mr. Sophie!

I agree specially when traveling with younger children. In my experience, they don't like to be sitting in a separate seat (mine is afraid of flying!) so the closer she seats to me, the better. Sometimes you end up sitting with someone who doesn't like to socialize at all, so I would rather sit with my loved ones!

After the hoops I just jumped through to enable my kids to sit with a parent on a six hour flight I wonder what the point of booking seats is.

YUL to SFO, booked tickets two months back, assigned seats together in row 22. All good until...... could not olci no matter what we tried, called and told to arrive three hours out to secure seats.

Arrived as advised, flight on united, code share with AC, helpful staff went through check in on terminal. Lo and behold all four of us were seated all over the plane in middle seats.

We saw there were two middle seats available in exits rows, so we paid for the two adults to sit in them. $130 in total. Then we boarded and promptly used our boarding passes to lure the aisle passengers sitting next to our kids into middle seats in exit rows. Both were guys who were more than happy to trade, fortunately.

It was a total pita to go through this process as people were trying to board and settle in. Totally stupid that we could not be seated together at the airport three hours out.

I am more than happy to sit away from hubby, and older kids, on any length of flights, but this situation ticked me off. Youngest cannot have a credit card to buy in cabin food and entertainment on United, so why would they seat her alone.

Because I work long hours and am away from home for extened periods. I love my wife and when possible would like to sit next to her .

That being said I am gracious about asking and if told "no" I smile, offer thanks, and move on.

And even more so when it's an intimate partner--contact is welcome, not something to be avoided.

On the transpacific flights my wife takes the window and puts her legs over on my lap to sleep. It works quite well. She wouldn't sleep nearly as well if she had to stay within the bounds of her seat.

You're not alone. When we are near each other there is usually some point of contact although it's usually not holding hands. The most common pattern is my hand on her shoulder. (The more usual thing with couples of the hand on the hip is awkward for us due to a considerable height difference.)

You mean flights where you don't have to hide in the lavs to join the mile high club? :D:D

And why would it be assumed that someone who doesn't mind sitting apart is doing so to "avoid contact"???? Rather presumptuous, as is thinking that others "want" to be apart because they spend lots of other time elsewhere, or are somehow "less" romantic than you.

To allow a young mother to sit with her child we will separate...especially if the seating error isn't of her making or is due to travel inexperience. I have watched Mr Sophie entertain a young child for hours so his parent could just have a break. I am extremely claustrophobic, but will gladly sit in a middle seat so that a serviceperson can have the small luxury of an exit aisle.

If that means I am less of a romantic, so be it.

But of course the reality is those situations don't happen all the time...so we could certainly sit together...except my husband is 6'7". If he is stuck in coach, it is incredibly important that the person in front of him does not put their seat back. The only way to insure no one does is if I take that seat.

Perhaps, just like beauty, romance is in the eye of the beholder. TEHO.

And I just wish that parents of two and four year old children had more compassion for others. My parents didn't bring me on an airplane when I was four. They didn't want to inconvenience other passengers by bringing their small children into a confined space with others for hours at a time. Pay extra in advance for your kids to sit together or don't fly.

It minimizes the chance of new human interaction with your unknown seatmate, ie talkative, smelly, invasive etc. Also if I am flying with my partner I feel more freedom to step to the restroom more often and sit in more comfortable positions that I wouldn't allow myself next to a stranger.

No, you can't ever "guarantee" adjacent seats. You can reserve seats that are adjacent, and you can pay extra for a premium seat (window, aisle, or bulkhead) but in the end a seat assignment is not part of the contract and the airline has the right to move you wherever they want.

I don't think many airlines let you pay extra for adjacent seats. You can pay extra for a special seat (such as a window), but they can move you to another equivalent seat (a window in another row) without notice or compensation.

A lot of you must have some odd marriages/relationships if the thought of sitting next to your SO for a few hours on a flight causes such revulsion.

I met one of these people a few days ago. I was boarding an ERJ behind a couple and their 5ish-year old daughter. They were going on vacation carrying a stroller and an assortment of bags and were obviously not FFs (e.g., handed the GA all their passports and boarding passes instead of just the BPs for that specific flight).

Anyway, wife seemed a little nervous about being separated on the plane and husband tried to calm her down by saying he'd ask another pax if s/he minded moving, so they could seat together. He then confirmed that his wife's seat was 17A.

Since I was on 4A, I thought the chance of being close to them and able to help was slim. But when I boarded, lo and behold, father and daughter are on 4B/C. So I immediately offered to go to the back of the plane and switch with his wife. His response: "Hell no! I've already discussed this many times with my wife."

I guess he didn't realize I'd been behind them in the boarding line. I was a little startled, but then it's none of my business how he treats his wife.

For short flights, I don't mind sitting apart from my family. I was actually sitting in coach while I let my parents enjoy First class (their first time) from BOS-FLL. They were psyched. I didn't really care since I have flown on international F before, and while it's nice, I don't mind coach at all for short flights.

Next to me was an unaccompanied minor (in the middle seat). He was super nice (and a little nervous) so I helped him out while some of the procedures he's not as familiar about. That worked out well.

For longer flights, I like sitting next to people I know because they can give me a bit more legroom if I needed it (or vice versa). Unfortunately, we had a unfortunate experience when our flight was once delayed (and we need to make a flight to an international destination) and we were all separated into (mostly middle) seats, completely ruining what we had planned.

I got a middle seat, which was okay (at least that's the domestic segment). My mom, who is of petite size, unfortunately, got the seat next to a person of size (who had to put the armrest up). My mom was not happy that she only got half a seat (not trying to be politically correct - but it was what it was), but she was polite about it (it wasn't like the lady next to her could help it). The lady next to her was apologetic, and it was a full flight, and there was not much that can be done at that point anyway.

It just wasn't a comfortable flight, so for my mom (who doesn't fly a lot), she prefers to sit next to people she knows now - short or long flights.

Excuse me?

I'm not joking, and I don't pay for seat assignments (AA doesnt require that). But when I do book, I book early enough that I can select the seat I like. Does the fact I didn't pay for a seat assignment make me less "entitled" (I hate that word, but you catch my drift) to a seat of my choosing than someone with children? How exactly does that work?

Exactly. Who's being high maintenance, someone who picks out a seat they like, or someone who expects that person to move just because they decided to have children? It's YOUR child, YOU figure it out. Don't make YOUR child MY problem.

+1 My exact response as well...

I don't understand this argument.So I'm supposed to wait years before I can take my child to a pediatric specialist for medical reasons so that I don't inconvenience everyone else on the plane? No, I cannot drive the 700 miles to get there for various reasons. And yes, I do pay extra for my infant under two AND I book seats together, but airlines make it effing hard to do when you pay a premium for a seat and tell you during purchase that you can't select seats online and it will be assigned at the airport. Believe it or not, but parents with kids aren't always flying for leisure purposes.

Twice when we have booked well ahead for a family trip, and have been assigned seats with our children, we have arrived at the airport to find our whole family split up and all sitting in middle seats.

The first time this happened they even had our under two year old sitting alone. We managed to get enough people to feel sorry for us on board that dad got to sit with the preschoolers, but young son and I had to remain in our middle seats far apart from each other. Son was very fearful and cried.

We did everything possible to ensure our kids would not be split up.

Remember not every one hasn't planned ahead. The airlines screw things up constantly. Have some compassion

When it is an emergency, like a doctor's visit, I expect most people will help you out. I know I would.

Sorry, no. Absent exigent circumstances, if you want to travel with young children, it's your problem (and the airline's). It is not my problem, nor the problem of any other passenger on the flight. If you book trips that don't have enough flexibility built in to take the next flight on which you can get seats together, then don't plan trips on which you have to fly. I find your definition of compassion rather extraordinary in that you are willing to show no compassion whatsoever for strangers who you expect to inconvenience and discomfort themselves for your benefit ONLY because you've decided to take a "family trip." That's your choice and your problem.

As I said, none of this applies if you're traveling in exigent circumstances. Taking a child to a doctor is an exigent circumstance. So is relocating. So is a funeral. I would always help you (and any other stranger) if I could when there are exigent circumstances. THAT is the definition of compassion. Discomfiting myself because you decided to take your brood to Disneyland? Not a chance.

PTtravel definitely not your problem at all. We all have our limits and clearly this is one of yours.

Disney was certainly not the destination, but if you feel better trying to belittle me with that then so be it.

I travel a lot, usually alone, my kids are fortunate enough that they get many great trips all over the world. We have only had this issue twice and both times on Air Canada/united code shares from Canada to the US.

The people who chose not to switch seats with us were polite, as we were when asking. But we would much rather have not dealt with the situation at all.

I lay the blame at the airlines feet, if they sell me seats three months out, then assign us seats together, I expect to arrive at the airport, three hours ahead, and find that we still have those seats.

If I book at the last minute then I expect to be separated, that is life. But three months out I want to sit with my kids.

As to sitting with hubby on flights, I don't really care. He is an aisle guy, I am a window chick, we often sit apart on planes. Sometimes with a confused middle seat passenger. Though we do not talk over them.

I've never had this happen, so I wonder if there's something else going on here. When I book a seat, I've always gotten it at the airport, unless I'm upgraded.

By the way, my reaction might make more sense if I told you that the first and last time I switched to accommodate a family, the child spilled grape juice all over the seat, which dripped underneath and onto my camera bag. It cost $150 to get a lens replaced. Why a child needs that much juice on an airplane, I'll never know. Why the family didn't even apologize for the damage, I'll also never know.

Anyway - never again.

Oh my goodness, I hear you. Children, when poorly patented, can be quite liquid.

Both times this happened tickets were bought on points! Need I say more. No more family travel will be booked on points, just not worth the bs treatment.

I was not belittling you. I was trying to draw a distinction between an exigent circumstance in which compassion from strangers was appropriate, e.g. taking your child to the doctor, and a non-exigent one in which compassion from strangers is not.

I understand. Sadly, on the occasions that I have been asked, the request was not polite, but framed as a demand. I was not suggesting that you would do that, however.

On this, we agree completely. If I were in your shoes, I would be raising all kinds of he!! with the airline, which has no business selling seats to you knowing that you're travelling with young children and then splitting you up. I think it's outrageous that they would and you have every right to be furious with them. My only point is that your dispute is with the airline, and not with other passengers.

No argument from me. I agree completely.

My wife and I do the same though, generally, we'll book two adjacent just to avoid the, "Ugh, I don't want to touch the stranger," issue.

Compassion from strangers is always appropriate. It's how I treat people and it's how I expect to be treated.

To quote George Costanza: "We're living in a SOCIETY here, people!"

Indeed, and I don't find it an act of compassion to engage entitlement and lack of consideration for others. Boarding an airplane with the expectation that others will move to accommodate you because you've decided to engage in discretionary travel with children is the definition of both entitlement and lack of consideration for others. I don't assume people will inconvenience themselves for my benefit unless there's a darn good reason. It's how I treat people, and it's how I expect to be treated.

That has nothing to do with switching seats, but rather with a kid in front of you.

If the damage was discovered on the plane you should have asked for contact info then.

I switched with the kid, putting him directly in front of me (so my bag was under his seat). I did ask for contact info - they laughed in my face, and deplaned.

If you're buying tickets on an airline website and they won't let select seats before purchase, then don't buy the tickets. Choose another airline that will let you select seats. Sounds like you are flying a discount airline to save money. And "Believe it or not" at least 90 percent of parents flying with kids are doing so for leisure purposes. They have the option of paying extra for choice seats to sit together. Most don't because they don't want to spend the extra money and have a sense of entitlement that others are going to move to accommodate them. When it doesn't work out they whine and try to make you feel guilty. Take it up with the airline, I'm not moving.