darthbimmer

While that certainly describes some people who travel regularly for business, it does not describe all. Figure out which of your colleagues are happy with a slower pace and hang out with them. For that you will need to do some socializing to figure out who's not part of the "Stay up 'til 2am knocking back drinks and arguing politics" crowd. It could be that some of them are doing that only because they feel pressured to, like you. If you propose something simpler, such as "Let's have dinner and discuss what happened today, but then go our separate ways to catch up on email, exercise, relax, etc." you may find some takers. But don't expect that you can completely opt out of socializing with colleagues without being known as "that guy".

drat19

When I came to grips with knowing that I didn't need to worry about advancement (I'm a technical guy with no mgmt aspirations) and knowing that doing my job well would assure my cont'd viability, I not only had no problem being known as "that guy", but I came to embrace it. Yep, I hate(d) the "go out for excessive food and drinks after work every day on company dime" mentality that much. Diff'rent strokes...

Having said that, I'm sure that pushing 50 now and having 25+ yrs in the business skews my attitude on that. I still hated it back in my 20s but yeah, I probably felt I had to cave from time to time back then. Not anymore...the gray beard hairs do provide great confidence in being able to say "I like to do my own thing after work, thanks. See you tomorrow in the office." And of course eventually they stop asking...and that's fine too.

CavePearl

I agree completely. Client related socializing is different than socializing with my colleagues. When I am finished with my work for the day I consider what's left of the day to be my time. Business travel is simply doing my job away from my physical office. At home I don't spend time after work with colleagues - so why should I do it on the road?

My boss however, does not see things the way I do, even though he knows I prefer to keep my private life private. If he knows several from our office are in the same location, when I return he almost always asks me if I met up with so-and-so. My response is usually something like "Oh, I saw them as they were headed out the door with a group of people from Company X," or "I got tied up with a client so I just headed back to the hotel afterward." It usually works.

Just for fun one time I told him I couldn't go out with so-and-so because I had dinner with the hiring manager from one of our biggest rival companies. The look on his face was priceless before he figured out I was joking.

powerlifter

To me it depends on where I am. When in the old Soviet block countries or Asia we travel with a team of three people. So we go out to dinner as we have a driver to take us around. All of us are tired so we eat, drink some, and go back to the hotel to rest. If I travel domestic I am usually alone so there is no hard drinking or long nights out. I am back in my room working on e-mails or watching a movie.

txrandom

I just nurse on a single drink the whole night and hope no one else notices.

Ancien Maestro

If its social.. just say no to the drink because you're tired and need to prepare for the next day..

When you feel like it, go out for a drink and hangout, but cut it short so at least you stopped in for a bit.. bottom line is rest so that you're performing optimally on business trips..

ajax

Unless you plan to pay your employees extra for expecting them to be "on" during the entire duration of a business trip except for the time that they are asleep, then you really have no right to hold them to this standard.

I agree 100% with the OP, by the way.

dd992emo

My policy was always to slam down 5 or 6 vodkas on the rocks as fast as I could. After that I slurred my words so badly nobody said anything to me, at which point I was free to drive my rental car back to the hotel. ^

Ancien Maestro

A good move to get free time..

Not sure about the driving part..

CavePearl

gonna try that some time!

transparent

As a consultant that travels every week, I understand the sentiment. Sometimes you just don't feel like doing that team dinner.

I think there is some value though to getting together with colleagues to bond socially, it can help with advancement as someone said, or networking, or just plain work during the day if people know you as a person.

That being said I usually try to compromise. With my teams, I try to do one night max a week of "official" team dinner etc, knowing that people want to hit the gym, unwind, catch up on work and other things. We do spend quite a bit of time together already and otherwise if people want to organize their own little dinners that's ok too. Would never dream of pressuring someone to drink-- I think it's fine to order a coke or club soda and drink that, nobody's keeping track of your BAC.

mapleg

Hmm. Did I work for you once? You sure sound like an old boss of mine!

Jamoldo

There are always ways to get out of the forced socializing... As for drink, my two cents - TMK, no one said the OP had to drink... So I would suggest that the OP get a fruit juice, sparkling water, tonic, mocktail, soda etc. No one will care or bother you and if they do, just say you're trying to cut down/be healthy/whatever... Not a big deal IMO.

drat19

Yeah, but some of us would rather not even be around it.

dd992emo

Could be...were you ever terminated for rebuffing the advances of an inebriated superior?