Hello all. I am looking for some help on gauging the toll a weekly commute would have on me and my family. I realize this question has been asked before but it seems like it is for flights of various longer durations. I have the opportunity for a management position in Chicago. I like chicago but would not be moving there if it wasn't for this position. Given this fact, I would not be comfortable moving there until I see how the job works out. The company is sympathetic and has agreed to pay my travel expenses to commute up to a year. This would include a car and permanent room in chicago. We currently live in northeastern pa. Allentown airport is closer for me but because of the cost they have asked if I would fly out of Newark. This is about an 1:20 to 1:30 away without traffic. The deal is I would fly out on the 10am monday flight to be in chicago for their afternoon meeting. I could then leave work around 4pm on Wednesday and hop aboard the plane to be on the ground and in my house by about 10pm. Flight duration is about 2 hours and I would not need to check a bag most days. I would work from home the other 2 days. I have an 8 year old daughter and have very rarely been away from her more than a day or so. We have talked about it and she is ok with it as she wants to move to chicago but I doubt an 8 year old understands what it would be like until we are doing it. We have talked about the video skyping but that is a poor substitute.
Once I am settled into the position I will not need to commute quite as much and they do seem to be flexible with things. To complicate matters, I have a job offer locally that is fairly close to same pay (and probably better with COL) but would not provide me the same experiences and penetration of the "glass ceiling". The easy thing to do is just go local but the other job could help decide my direction for the rest of my life. I am not overly career focused and like to have a work/life balance. I know it is a personal choice but I am wondering what some of the thoughts would be on the commute for the year basis and just how bad it will be. Thanks in advance.

First off, welcome to FT. As you pointed out, there are scads of threads on this forum about this subject for first-time commuters, and there will be scads of responses to this thread, I'm sure. Here are my $.02:

(1) How you handle your work/life balance and your separation from your daughter and spouse (I presume you're married and your spouse will be the caretaker, but that's not entirely clear from your post) is completely variable...only you can determine that in the scheme of prioritization vs. work.

(2) Despite my current location, I am ex-NYC and I can tell you that you WILL hit a fair amount of I-78 traffic heading to EWR every Monday morning for that 10AM flight. Between that and the time it takes to navigate security etc., you'd better think hard about your time guesstimates - that's a very early start every Monday morning and a long day. And I'd bet you'll end up switching to an earlier flight when you discover the frequency of delays you'll experience that make you late for that afternoon meeting in Chicago. (Will your company pay for hotel at EWR airport Sunday night? That might be an option.)

(3) Having said that, in this economy a job's a job and the fact that you are being given a year to "try it out" is pretty attractive - I don't see how you could NOT do it. While it's true you don't get that year of your child's life back, it is still only year and after it's over, you'll know yea or nay going forward. Not too many people get such an opp'y nowadays.

The fact that you only have a 3-day workweek in Chicago makes this a no-brainer.

Sorry if this sounds callous, but if an 8-year-old gets separation anxiety over three days, this would actually be a reason to do the commute. Sacrificing your career for the sake of a needy child inverts the parent-child relationship and can't be good for the kid's maturation and socialization.

I think you are probably underestimating the stress levels this will put on you and the family.

As you know, on days like today, getting in and out of Newark when there are storms in the area could be a nightmare. Because you have a meeting on Mondays you want to be there for, I think leaving at 10 to be at the meeting is cutting it pretty close.

I also think getting to Newark without traffic is a very wishful dream on your part. If it's not traffic, it's construction. If it's not construction, it's an accident.

I think you may want to consider either an earlier flight on Monday or even the last flight on Sunday evening.

It however is a great offer, the ability to have the commuting expenses picked up so you can make sure it all works out for you.

Hows the rest of the family with it? There's probably going to be some stress those days without you around, don't dismiss that either in the equation.

Welcome to flyertalk, it's going to be a tough decision either way, I think the plusses and minus points on moving and staying make either decision about the same.

Though, of course, if you move you won't get those 1,400 or however many miles it is a week.

Callous...yes. Uninformed...possibly. Kids whose parents are around all the time usually notice when they aren't around. But, yes, they do get used to it after a while.

Back to the OP, I used to do a video chat using an inexpensive webcam and yahoo messenger. It worked great.

That I agree with.

1. If I am reading the OP's post right, I take it to mean that the Chicago company is getting his a long-term stay place or even just an apt. lease there. So in that case, flying to ORD on Sunday evening, late enough to have Sunday dinner together, might work best (again, more time away from the family, but OTOH it avoids any potential hassles with Monday snafu's getting to ORD).

2. My calculations show nearly 75,000 FF miles and ~100 EQS over the next year, assuming NO other travel besides the weekly EWR-ORD r/t. That would a) be mid-tier elite at least, and b) provide for family vacation each year (assuming availability at 25k a pop, x3).