Time for some winter warmth, we had decided. And back in June 2011, those nice people at BA were having a Sale … Flights plus Hotel, Club World tickets and a week at Sandals Royal Plantation for Ł4,600. On the basis that the flights alone usually come in at around Ł2,000 per person, and the accommodation [all-inclusive, with Butler] was around Ł3,000 a week, this was a no-brainer! However, we still had a bit of nervousness about the whole thing. For a start, we had never, ever, done a "do nothing" beach holiday. And "all inclusive" at a Sandals resort could mean many things! We didn't need to worry, as you'll discover later. Anyway, here we go in instalments, while I try to sort out pictures and web links. Oh, the Bear is Sgt Braille - he works for Holidays 4 Heroes.

GOING THERE

12 Jan 12
BA2769, 0700 JER-LGW 0755
G-DOCV

Yeuch - the JER Red-Eye, which meant taxi at 0530 to reach the airport at 0600. In fact, we got there before they unlocked the Terminal doors at 0545! Routine bag-drop at a deserted airport [we were the first through the door] and, with the 2 cases checked through to MBJ, we had a light snack in the BA Lounge. The "secret door" from the Lounge to Gate 3 was briefly left open, so I took a quick snap for the record.





As usual, boarding for CE and BAEC Status pax was delayed until the hordes were on their way to board via the rear steps. Then the Lounge door was opened, and we made our way up the front steps to DOCV's very tired and battered CE cabin. The quick hop to LGW deserves little comment: as always the CC managed to serve an edible cooked breakfast and clear everything away afterwards in the space of some 30 minutes.

On arrival, we were inevitably parked on one of the International stands [58?] and then waited for the bus. Also as usual, the rear door was used, so the CE pax were the last ones off. Whatever, it's not exactly the end of the world, is it? Arriving in the bowels of LGW, we made our way to Connections and the security line there. This was a BIG mistake. We stood in an extremely slow-moving queue for over 30 minutes before finally reaching the solitary screening point. In future, we'll just do a normal Domestic Arrival, go land-side for a quick cigarette and re-enter through Premium Gatwick's efficient security process - that will be both faster and more pleasant!!

The LGW Lounge was reasonably quiet at 0830, and we found quiet and comfy seats for the next 2 hours. Just a routine Lounge visit, nothing special one way or another.

12 Jan 12
BA2285, 1115 LGW-MBJ 1630
G-VIIT

A 3-class 777, we had selected 4A/B on the advice of mikey2124 and were well satisfied with his/our choice! OK, the window seat is a bit cramped compared with the wide-open feel on the 744 upper deck, but Mrs T8191 was perfectly happy to be kept away from the other pax! Sgt Braille made himself comfortable on my lap for a while, before retiring to sleep in the overhead locker.



We had a really good crew, and the CM [L******** with her large hair and short stature] was excellent, as were the other CC in the front CW cabin. The Taittinger was fine, and nicely chilled. However, the food was filed under "OK". The prawns were pretty tasteless, and the steak somewhat overdone. Although the jus was tasty, it seemed to be a bit generous - steak in soup could have been an accurate description! The Vina Hermosa Reserva 2004 Rioja was, however, a perfect companion. I chose to finish with the cheese, which turned out to be rather bland: however, that's just my opinion.





The rest of the 10+ hour flight was spent with one film on a fully functioning AVOD, and a couple of hours sleep before the arrival of the BA "Afternoon Tea". I enjoyed the plain scone, having correctly applied the clotted cream AFTER the jam, and found the Dundee cake delicious. As ever, the sandwiches [ham and cheese] would have been better used feeding ducks in the park than being served to CW pax.




Sangster International Airport (MBJ)
Montego Bay Jamaica - Sangster International Airport (MBJ)
It's quite a long walk from Gate 15 which the BA flights use. However, as we were amongst the first off, we set a brisk marching pace and followed the signs! We caught up with the tail end of the pax getting off Aanother aircraft, and expected long delays at Immigration. How wrong we were!! Having navigated an empty Tensa-barrier maze, we were directed to a vacant Immigration desk where we were processed in a couple of minutes. Paperwork is a locally modified version of our old friend, the US Form 94 but with the Customs declaration on the back - and the Departure card is separated but not stapled to the passport, so don't lose it! That was easy, we thought, and headed for Baggage Reclaim. "Good grief, Priority Bag Tags work" … we waited about 3 minutes for our 2 cases, and then headed for the Customs desks. That took one minute! One point to note - if you're carrying prescription medicines, you have to declare them and use the RED Channel. I had some prescription pills, but just declared them at a vacant GREEN desk with no problem.

And so to the Arrivals area, where Sandals have their own Arrivals Lounge.




We checked in with them, were relieved of our luggage [having had to wheel it about 100 yards in total] and everything was labelled and stacked under escort. A very pleasant "waiting room", with a small self-service bar in the corner [apologies for blurred photo!] is provided.




Then our Resort Transport was called - cases were stacked on a trolley, we were asked to verify ours were there, and then we were escorted to the mini-bus for the transfer - just 3 couples for this destination. Point to note - the baggage porters are not employed by Sandals, but by the airport, and they expect a tip.

The drive to Ocho Rios along the north coast is fairly tedious [1h 30m +] and fairly unremarkable. It also got dark, which is apparently a local characteristic after sunset.

BEING THERE

Sandals Royal Plantation, Ocho Rios
http://www.sandals.com/main/plantation/rp-home.cfm
"Come explore the quieter side of Sandals at the world's only all-inclusive resort to be granted membership in the prestigious Leading Small Hotels of the World®"

The Royal Plantation (RP) was acquired by Sandals a couple of years ago, and is NOT one of those enormous 700-room, 12-pool, 8-restaurant, 15-bar, 4-discotheque places! With just 74 suites, and a minimum age of 16 [or 18?] for guests, it's a place for grown-up adults looking for a bit of peace and quiet! Like it's vaguely dead by 2200 daily, which is exactly what we wanted!!

So we arrive, rather weary and saddle-sore. Having left home at 0530, my body is telling me "Hey, do you realise it's now 0200!" Yes, it's been a long day - especially at my age!! So we stumble off the bus, to be greeted with smiling faces, ice-cold towels and a glass of sparkling wine. Then a little bit of administration [most of it is done on-line before arrival, including your preferences for the contents of your mini-bar and 'fridge] and the introduction to one of the 2 Butlers who would take care of us. We were then escorted to our room, and issued with a cell-phone pre-programmed to call our Butlers at any time. Unpack, a quick snack at The Terrace restaurant, and to bed.

After an excellent Room Service breakfast, our Butler called to give us a familiarisation tour of the facilities. We couldn't praise our 2 guys enough - always cheerful and friendly, and eager to help with anything to make our stay enjoyable. They had pre-arranged table reservations at the 3 restaurants so that we had the most varied menus and venues possible - but almost anything could be changed on request. We just went with the flow, and let them do the thinking for us!

I've chucked in a few photos of my own, but the ones on the hotel's website are much better! And in this case, the RP does what it says on the box: the reality matched the advertising in just about every way. Incidentally, the place is populated with peacocks - the Boss Bird is George, and he's a poser!

















It was a simply amazing week, where we went utterly brain-dead!! We ventured out into the real world just once - our Butler fixed us up with a reliable taxi driver [utterly charming, witty, informative, and extremely Rasta] for a couple of hours wandering the shopping Malls in Ocho Rios. OK - it's a cruise ship port, so this was not "Real Jamaica", but it passed a pleasant couple of hours on a rather cloudy day.







Otherwise it was just chill on the Terrace, chill on the Verandah, chill on the Beach … and we had smoke coming off our Kindles! How many books can you read in a week? And how tired can you get doing nothing? We slept like logs every night!!!





Our Butlers looked after our every need, to the extent of creating towel decorations and scattering petals on the bed! We had 2 wonderful characters, both blessed with a great sense of humour.




Oh, the belated Food Report is at Post #44 >>> Click HERE

How did I forget to do that?

COMING BACK

Sangster International Airport (MBJ)
http://www.mbjairport.com/

Departures
Our Butler gave us access to a PC to [sadly] OLCI and PYOBP for the return journey at around T-24. Although check-out the next day was at 1100, we were lucky that our room wasn't needed immediately so we were able to remain in "resort casual" for most of the day until changing into "BA CW Casual" for the flight home. As with our arrival, everything was organised to the last detail and at exactly 1430 the mini-bus pulled up to take just us and our 2 cases to MBJ for the flight home.

The Departures Hall is VERY wide, and the BA desks are at the far right-hand end. The very last 2 desks are for CW passengers. Oh well, a bit of exercise won't kill us! There were a couple of pax in front of us: I suspect they get a bit of bunching as the various resort buses drop off their passengers. Everything was normal, friendly and efficient and our bags were tagged through to JER. We were then issued with our Club Mobay Admission Voucher.

This is where it gets interesting. With your Admission Voucher in your hand, you reverse course towards the Departures zone for Immigration and Security. On the left end, guarded by a Tensa-barrier, is the "VIP" bit. Lo! and Behold! … the barrier is unlatched, and you get your escort [yes, a real human being with a smile] who escorts you personally to an Immigration desk! The guy said it was a bit quiet, but I gathered the impression that you get put to the front of any line! So … Immigration [surely Emigration?] took a couple of minutes: and there was no mention of the Departure Tax we were reminded about at the hotel. Then on to Security: as that was quiet, there was no delay, but I guess again that the Mobay voucher and the escort would have steered us to the front of any queue. After all, they charge $35 for the ticket for non-Premium pax. Security was fairly standard … shoes, belts, all the usual stuff. I was a bit surprised, when collecting my gear from the belt to be asked "Do you have a lighter in that bag?" I replied in the affirmative, extracted a disposable from the top pocket of my back-pack … at which point it was confiscated. Eeeeeekkk. The odd aspect is that I actually had 2 in my back-pack, and my wife had one in her handbag: apparently handing over one of mine satisfied the daily quota?

Anyway, head for the right-hand corner, up the escalator, and you're in the typical airport shopping Mall … with a Caribbean twist!



I'm not a great fan of airport shopping, but MBJ has managed to make the lonnnnggg corridor of shops very attractive. Whatever … we looked at Duty Free cigarettes, decided they weren't great value and moved on. BIG error, as prices at LGW have just soared … we could have paid around Ł38 at MBJ for what was Ł50+ at LGW.

So, we head for Gate 9, keeping to the left side of the Concourse, for the "Club Mobay".



http://www.clubmobay.com/index.php
http://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractio...y_Jamaica.html

The Lounge was "OK", although the food offering was about as minimal as you can get. Cheese or Ham sandwiches and a few cakes and some interesting Jamaican crisps [oh, it's BA's "Afternoon Tea"!]. A served Bar, and some self-service juice dispensers on the left … which included a really nice Rum Punch. I went for the cultural thing! And then we headed, as we do, for somewhere to smoke. Yes, I know, we're dirty people - I suspect some of you have bad habits as well! Anywaaaay …. the Vibe Lounge is a Bar, where customers are allowed to smoke. Clever marketing, that one! So a nice Rum Punch was $8, and we managed a couple of ciggies before heading to the Gate - braced for the next 10 hours.



And so to Gate 15, which [so my BP says] closes at 1745. At 1730 we were treated to the arrival of 2 FD crew and 2 CC … the rest drifted in over the next 10 minutes. At 1755, after the boarding of 5 wheelchairs, the lady on the desk called for "Club, Gold and Silver". At this point, the lemmings started to surge forward. I give that short lady great credit … she beat the idiots back, and kept calling for the priority pax who were supposed to board first!! We got through eventually, with a bit of tactical battering with our carry-ons!!




19 Jan 12
BA2284, 1830 MBJ-LGW 0815
G-VIIB
Somewhere along the way, BA decided to use a 4-class 777 for the return flight: this scuppered our seating plans! The FIRST cabin was blocked out, so at OLCI we had settled for the 'domesticated pair' at 15E/F.

This aircraft is packed … we settled in to 15E/F, and a young couple settled in to 15D and 15G. Oh, how sad. Anyway, as the hordes climbed aboard [all through Door 1L, through the Old First cabin] there was a bit of fluttering between some pax and the CC. Eventually it transpired that one of the occupants of 15D/G was consigned to a Jump-seat, as "there's a passenger with higher status". Hello? What? Evicted from a CW seat to a jump-seat? The true British gentleman in his 20's told his girlfriend that his back couldn't cope with that, so off she went to oblivion … and another 20-something occupied the other CW seat. (Why do 20-somethings never shave properly? Stubble is so NOT cool). And … who were those people in FIRST? You know, the blocked off cabin that seemed to be occupied by assorted Caribbean people with beards? Was this a "secret First"? Curious, for sure.

We got airborne - that's something BA does really rather well, albeit 15 minutes late. The usual round of hot towels and drinkies ensued - I asked the CC if the Chablis was cool, she offered me a taste to check … it was cool! Come top-up time, she told me she'd put it on ice to make sure! I don't know your name, cute little blonde lady, but thank you!!

And so to "The Meal". I'm not going to list everything, because it's boring, but the choice was fairly dire.
Grilled Fillet of Beef, etc etc.
Fettucine with creamy mushroom sauce.
Jamaican Style jambalaya (V).
Chilled main course salad of Thai-style shrimp.

Is this the food that made Britain Great? Apart from the beef, you have a choice of foreign stuff? Only one thing to chew on? We are both omnivores, but chose the Veggie jumbalaya, which would have benefitted from some shrimp, andouille sausage and that sort of thing … but at least it was a better option than a dead piece of cow, and it was actually quite tasty. SWMBO had the Coconut Cream Pie, which was OK … I had the Selection of cheese which was just about OK. And that was it … no "Tea or Coffee". I gave up, and as the looped IFE offering was also utterly crepe, went to sleep. SWMBO did the same. It was a very turbulent flight, and the Captain did say he was trying to get out of it [unsuccessfully] but we were tired and didn't care anyway!

Oh, good-oh, BA's breakfast. I really couldn't be bothered to wake up for it, but SWMBO did. Yup, the bread was stale as usual, and the "fruit selection" was full of melon that she can't stand the smell of. However, she reports a really good bacon roll on a ciabatta-type bun with loads of good bacon. Whatever, I'll wait to have breakfast at Gatters. Oh, and guess what … no "Tea of Coffee" with breakfast either. No announcement, no nothing. Neither of us drink tea, and the BA coffee is execrable, but … nothing. I shall complain, of course!

However, the male CM [apparently of Italian extraction?] was great. Thanks, G*******. However, the CC who called my wife "my darling" wasn't exactly portraying CW customer service - it seemed rather patronising to a woman who's over 60. Good try, but wrong.

GATTERS
Immigration at LGW was painless, where 6 e-passport booths were functioning well. Why does LGW have 6, when LHR has only 2? How hard does it have to be to get into your own country? Anyway, having learned our lesson on the outbound, we 'entered the UK' to have a freezing cold ciggie at the curb-side squalor booth, and reminded ourselves how much we hate "catch-all legislation", before returning via the excellent and empty "Premium Gatwick" security entrance and thence to the shopping Mall [ooops, airport]. The Terraces was fairly full, but we eventually found comfy chairs for the 3-hour loiter before the last leg of the journey.

20 Jan 12
BA2772, 1150 LGW-JER 1250
G-whatever
I'm tired and I want to go home. I've been up for about a day, and travelling for more hours than I'm usually out of bed. I really don't care what the aircraft's registration is, and I don't even care what type it is. It's BA metal, it's safe and efficient, and I don't want to marry it! (I think it was a 734, because I did read the safety card). It flew us home, with a fast lunch of a poached salmon salad thing, and it only took about 35 minutes. That will do! Taxi to home [15 minutes], quick ciggie [5 minutes], off to the JSPCA to rescue one pi55ed off cat [20 minutes], and … dammit, we're home again. And the weather is dismal.

Still, we had a wonderful escape from the gloom of winter at a wonderful hotel, and it's only just over 3 months before the next holiday [aka "Shop Virginia v.14.0"]. And all our BAEC TPs and Avios posted correctly within 48 hours, so we're both Silver/Emerald for another year and with a healthy 6-digit Avios balance in the Household Account

Good read, T8 ! ^^

I found this to be very informative, and particularly enjoyed the image of arriving at the airport before they had opened the doors yet -- it does bring back thoughts of another era !!

I was also impressed that, despite being filthy social outcasts, you managed to save enough breath to type up this report

Very informative Trip Report indeed! I like reading CW trip reports very full of insight

/AE

Darling - my congratulations. I rarely read this - but yours I would not miss for anything!

Now the steak! This comes up time and time again. We are not allowed to serve it until the temperature has reached a certain hear inside. This means that getting a steak decently cooked and not reduced to be a piece of leather is now almost impossible - that also means that it has not been overcooked before we get it in the ovens from the caterers.

This is not an excuse - but actually the reason. Drives us all up the pole.

Fettucine for me is a first course as it is in Italy. As for the rest - that is what people ask for - or so they tell me. With all that wonderful fish I cannot see why they do not have a Fish Pie or some sort. It is so difficult to please everyone. Dyogenes Bear is an omnivore which to him means eating every single thing and wanting seconds.

Sgt Braille really is a Sgt Major by now surely. He looks it.

Hugsxx

Great TR T8 ^

Sounds like you had a great holiday away in the sun & a very different trip than your "usual" trips to VA.

What stands out for me though, is the rather dismal report on BA's CW product. But one which reflects perfectly my opinion & experiences & indeed it seems an ever increasing number of FT'ers recent impressions, of CW

One would have to wonder, other than than seat itself, why you'd pay for CW over WTP these days. In fact I would say that based on my recent WTP flights, that it's a more "honest product". It's economy, marketed as economy & that's exactly what you get, albeit with the added benefits of a quieter cabin & more leg room. Unlike the continuing let downs experienced in CW where reality falls short in so many ways, to the marketing spin. There was a time when flying CW was a treat, more alas no more.

Anyway, enough of that.

Great TR as I said at the outset, it made for a very pleasant read on a Sunday morning. Thanks for posting

Thanks for the input, PUCCI ... I know that steak aspect makes sense in a commercial environment. Likewise it must be very difficult for the menu planners to provide options that skirt the edges of all those religious and dietary restrictions. And who gets on an aircraft for fine dining?

As for ourselves, we survived with a diet of Lobster BLT, Lobster au gratin, BBQ Lobster, Lobster Curry and Lobster salad ... and some other things, like Curry Goat and Jerk Chicken and ... yum yum yum

Braille says Hi! to Dyogenes, and Hugs to you. xxx

So does this confirm the fact that catering ex-LGW hasn't been upgraded....

Pucci - thanks for the explanation re the steak. Will ensure I always avoid it in the future!

T8191 - many thanks for a wonderful read.
Also, interesting to find out what a 'do nothing' holiday entails ... sounds doable

Great report !

A nice little warm up for our trip on the 2nd.

Thanks for the comment ^

It was an interesting experience, just doing nothing. It made us both realise [in our 60s] how hectic life can be, even at our age. That one week of being almost brain-dead, with big grins on our faces and saying "mmmmm" all the time made us realise how relatively stressed even our simple lives can be. Neither of us had to think about anything, apart from what clothes to wear!!

It will NOT suit everyone, of course. Zip-lining, etc etc is for you youngsters. We were just so chilled we didn't even bother with the glass-bottom boat on the reef, or snorkelling - that's for next time: it's always good to have something to look forward to

the old side salad suggests not.

Great report, T8 and a most welcome distraction from an otherwise frantic Sunday afternoon

Ahhh ... there you are! I though of you when writing and hoped some of it would be useful.
Have a good one ^

typo corrected for you

Bless your heart

Were staying at Sandals Royal Carribean, a much less tedious bus ride !