27 Aug X city to Y city.

X city checkpoint, no SSSS. I walked through WTMD, no alarm. My stuff was cleared through the Xray. As I gathered my things (the woman in front of me was slow), some random TSA screener came up to me and said, "I need to search you."

Me: "Why? I didn't alarm, no SSSS."
Him: "I just need to."
Me: "I didn't alarm or SSSS. That's [frisking] for someone else."

I continued to collect my things, at which point he called a supervisor and a LEO. He mumbled something to them about not being cooperative.
Supervisor (firm): "He [random TSO] needs to pat you down."
Me: "Why? I didn't alarm, and I don't have SSSS."
Supervisor (firmer): "He just does. Come over here."

My stuff has not cleared the belt yet, so:
Me: "I'll wait for my belongings, thank you."
Supervisor (agitated): "Come here!"
Me: "My belongings are required to be in my sight."
Supervisor (calmer): "Fine, bring them over here."

The LEO realized this is all BS and walked away.

TSO patted me down, didn't swab shoes, didn't t look through my stuff.
Supervisor (calmer still): "This is random. We hate doing it. It's because of the DNC."
Me: "But I am going between X and Y (not DNC towns)."
Supervisor (joking manner): "I know, I know..."

Completed with of course no incidence.
Me: "May I have a complaint form please?"
Supervisor (delightfully pleasant): "Of course! We hate doing this too."

WTH??

So...

Why didn't you tell the LEO "Stick around, I will be making a criminal complaint against this person for battery and unlawful detention when he's done with the kabuki security"?

No, no, no, PHL buddy. You have them by the SHORT HAIRS now. Just jump right back in line and bend over for them again. See them shaking in their boots with your filled out complaint form?

When will EVERYBODY learn and QUIT LINING UP for this crap???

Sure makes for fun reading, however.

What about putting one of those big rubber schlongs in your underwear - running halfway down your thigh.

Then watch the expression on the frisker's face when he reaches it.

Random pat downs are still part of the process.

That's why random gas emissions are part of my process. I make sure to hit a taco bell on the way to the airport.

Then again that could be a weapon of mass destruction...

As much as I hate TSA, I stand behind EyeCue on this one. However, the "officer" should've requested a pat-down immediately after crossing the WTMD and should've asked someone to collected your belongings before beginning the process.