Math Teacher Arrested

NEW YORK - A public school teacher was arrested today at
John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight
while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a
calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto
Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra
movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They desire
solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to
every triangle.'

When asked to comment on the arrest , President Bush said,
"If God had wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He
would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a
more intelligent or profound statement by the president.

That was really cute. Thanks for the laugh.