Informative TSA Answer
 

Recently, I sent a simple question by e-mail to the TSA:

Could you please let me know if all cigarette lighters will be banned under
the new regulations or only those containing butane as specified by the
Intelligence Bill?

I travel to the States often and carry a Zippo (which has no butane). Will
this be permissible in the future?

The reply obviously required considerable thought and analysis as it took three days for them to respond, but it unquestionably went straight to heart of my inquiry:

Thank you for your e-mail message. So that we can better assist you we encourage you to call us at 1-866-289-9673.

If you are outside the United States and cannot use the toll free-number, please call us at 1-571-227-2900.

We encourage you to visit our website at http://www.tsa.dot.gov for additional information about TSA. All travelers, and particularly those who travel infrequently, are encouraged to visit the section on travel tips before their trip. The website has information about prohibited and permitted items, the screening process and procedures, and guidance for special considerations, that may assist in preparing for air travel. You can go directly to these tips at www.TSATravelTips.us.

We hope this information is helpful.

TSA Contact Center

I really think, Dovster, that this is a sign from God that he wants you to quit smoking. :D :D

I am not certain. I asked God and he sent me an e-mail giving me His Customer Support telephone number and the URL of His website, indicating that I could get the answer there.

Would you mind sharing His e-mail address? I too have a few unanswered questions. Shoot, I would even be happy to get the URL for His website or the customer service number.

Is that guy Peter still answering the calls? I hope so. The last time I talked with him, he was a lot more informative than Intelligence Bill.

You can click through from www.walla.co.il

Eureka!
 

I've got it! I've got it!

That's why all those Biblical dudes went barefoot or just wore sandals! There are shoe sniffers at the "pearly gates" !!

Good lord! Who knew? :p

Thanks for the great laugh! A good way to start the day. ^

ROTFLMAO! At last, someone with a sane explanation for all our security woes! :D Did you know that these biblical dudes wore only sackcloth as well? :p

They were Delta FA's and, unlike the pilots, not unionized. Therefore they couldn't afford anything else.

Hmmm, that explains the snack I got on board the other day, it tasted kinda like locusts and honey!!!
:D

And now I've finally figured out what to do with that leaf of lettuce in my meals.

My friends, bow your heads and lettuce pray.

Nothing upsets me more than when I get this kind of response from customer service. You ask a simple question and they tell you to call. Or you ask one question in no uncertain terms, and they "answer" a completely different question.

And if someone had replied quickly.....then you would have said they have too much help or they should get back to shoe sniffing or too much time on their hands or the hundred other replies I have seen here.....the response directed you to where to find your answer....

I bet you would not have been happy if the Admiral himself answered you....because most of the PITA's here would not be.....all of you know so much..... find the bill and read it yourself...you obviously feel so superior to TSA surely you can figure the answer out yourself....why rely on those you feel are so poorly trained....and we all know ,according to you, TSA will do what they want anyway.... :rolleyes:

Oh and OP? why do you carry a zippo lighter with no lighter fluid anyway? I can guess...but I am curious :confused: as to your reply....

No, the response does not direct me where to find the answer. The TSA list of banned items has not been updated on the website.

I would have been happy if anybody had given me a straight answer -- be it an admiral, a yeoman second class, or an ex-PFC.

All they had to say was:

1. Your Zippo will be allowed.
2. Your Zippo will not be allowed.
3. We have not yet decided.


I thought I remembered you being a former teacher. Is "reading comprehension" no longer part of the curriculum?

Nowhere did I say I carry a Zippo lighter with no lighter fluid. I said that a Zippo does not contain butane. Butane was specifically banned under the new Intelligence Law but lighters which do not use butane were not. The question remains whether or not the TSA will allow such lighters.

No choice
 

Because we have no choice! What part of this do you not understand? Give us an alternative and we will be all over it.

Also, keep in mind that your sarcasm is being directed at your customer base. We go away, your government jobs go away. Try and keep that in mind next time you reply to someone here. Somehow, I just don't get this attitude from any other vendor of services I use. Of course, as I said in my first sentence, with TSA we have no choice. Sort of how the phone company used to be..... maybe you could get Lilly Tomlin as your spokesperson.

xxxxxxx

And I would have the advantage of being able to speak to Him in His native language.

This is without a doubt one of the funniest threads I have ever read. Including Miss Vicky's comments! :D :D :D Thanks to you all.

And I will tell you again I do not work for TSA..... :rolleyes:

:rolleyes: I forgot the airline industry would fold if you stopped flying…..and flashing your Military ID at TSA check points….....losing half of the posters here would be what I consider as acceptable losses…..

OP thank you for your explaination.....I appreciate it... ^ I am clear on your point... ^

xxxxxxxxxx

I said I could speak to Him in His native language -- not one which enjoyed a brief fad about 2000 years ago.

(Incidentally, even when Jesus spoke to Him, Jesus spoke in Hebrew, not Aramaic.)

We atheists, even Jewish atheists, do tend to be a bit shaky on these details.

If you use the hotline, do not tell Him that you are an athiest. It tends to annoy Him and He has been known to strike your hard drive with bolts of lightning and/or power surges.

I absolutely agree that the TSA's response to Dovster's e-mail was neither timely nor helpful. However, if you are implying that private services providers are inherently more responsive to their clients/customers, you must not be dealing with the companies with whom I do business.

And while, in theory, we choose our private service providers, in practice there are often few or no alternatives. For example, where I live, if you want to fly, you are basically captive to Delta.

Oh, crap. Does this mean that The Pearly Gates have a WTMD? That's it . . . I'm going to Hell.

On purpose.




:D

Where do you live? Inside of the CSG or VLD or ABY airport? ;)

The fact of the matter is that it is not possible to fly on a commercial airline anywhere in the U.S. without dealing with the TSA. It is quite easy to avoid flying on Delta unless you insist on using one of a handful of regional airports.

There are very few regulated monopolies left from which you cannot escape. Even cable can be avoided by using satellite, and local telephone can be avoided by using a cell phone. That leaves you with electricity, water and the Post Office, none of which harrass and threaten its customers on a daily basis like the TSA.

In my particular circumstances flying from a different airport is not feasible.

Let me try to make my points clear.

1. I agree that the TSA needs to make major changes. There needs to be a reevaluation of policies so that screeners can focus on serious potential threats and not be distracted by trivialities. Policies need to be applied consistently in all US airports. TSA personnel need to be screened more carefully before being hired and trained and supervised more carefully afterwards.

2. The above notwithstanding, pre TSA airport security was also riddled with inconsistency, incompetence, and ignorance. (In 1984 I flew from London with my then 5'1", 95 lb., 14 year old daughter. In Newark, she was stopped at the security checkpoint because of the punk-style bracelet and belt she was wearing. Couldn't board until her luggage was pulled off the plane and her "weapons" were packed. Mind you, she'd been wearing them when we passed through security at LGW.)

3. Any time that employees (public or private) are put in positions of power, some of them will be tempted to abuse that power. Hence, the need for screening, training and supervision.

4. In my experience, most large private service providers are no more responsive to customer/client needs that are government agencies. The trend in both private and public sectors to automate, outsource and downsize customer service does not work in the public interest. Given the current shaky financial status of many corporations, it may not serve the long-term corporate interest, either.

5. Sure, I can, for example, have a cell phone and avoid the local provider. But if I get crummy service from either, what have I gained?

Wow, nice way to make friends and influence people. :rolleyes:

Then he's not omniscient?

I'm here to tell you, if you are feeling this way about a bunch of people in cyberspace, you're going to hate dealing with people in person who say the same thing, and sometimes not as diplomatically as us.

Hey Dov, another candidate for the Israel Do? :D

Yep, DO NOT INVITE! :p

Oh trust me I look at this forum as on the job trainnig.... ;)

With that attitude, you will fit right in with TSA. Now just lower your IQ by about 65% to follow, or rather not follow the SOP, and you will be ready to begin.

Yes, He is omiscient. He knows that you don't believe in Him. So far, He has restricted His punishments to little things like having that gorgeous blonde move in across the street from you and then having it turn out that her husband is an NFL offensive tackle.

But once you force His hand by actually telling him...

Underpressure, everyone is invited to the Tel Aviv Meet .

I am planning something for everyone. Those who are interested in Christian religious sites will be taken Nazereth. Those who want to see sites of Jewish interest will go to the Western Wall. Those who are interested in night life will be shown where Tel Aviv's best nightclubs are.

As TrixieVictoria is especially interested in seeing thorough security procedures, I will personally take her to the airport after the Meet and whisper to the Security agents that I saw her getting an unopened package from a man speaking Arabic.

Apparently, the TSA is afraid that I did not understand them the first time around.

I just received a second letter in response to what I had written. It is identical to the first -- only the date has been changed.

(No, I did not write again. Maybe the TSA-Contact Center has the same people working for it who send out hundreds of identical letters offering you Viagra for bigger and firmer breasts.)

I think I'll show up! If only I can get the European Parliment to clear up some time for me.


Just show me where the nearest all 24 hour bar is at, and I'll be very happy! :D


For that, I'll pay for her ticket to personally experience it! ^

Which we for evermore call, Dovster's Victoria's Secret Package! :D

We would love to have you there. If you can't get the European Parliament to help you, you might want to try the American Winston or the Asian Marlboro.

Actually, in my case, He would have the hottie NFL offensive tackle move in and have it turn out that his wife is a gorgeous blonde.

I am not ghee.