When asked at terminal C at IAH last week I told him because I might be pregnant. I got a look of stunned incomprehension as I am obviously male. I explained that for the last few months by belly has been growing and so have my moobs. He actually started laughing and said "that could be true for most of the guys that work here" and asked me to point out my belongings. No further questions and a very light touch on the grope.

I tell the truth. I have Frozen Shoulder and am unable to lift my left arm over my head. At that point,I am waved through conventional detector with no problem.

Since all TSA checkpoint workers are licensed medical practitioners (just ask them!), the term adhesive capsulitis should always be used.

"For the tax-payer funded rub and tug."

"Why is it any of your Business?"

because I randomly selected myself to opt out.

My standard response to irrelevant questions is, "What difference does it make?," "It doesn't matter," or something along those lines.

This has never happened to me but, if they reply the "no dangerous radiation" bit, then I'm sure I couldn't help but ask where they went to med school.

^^^
Funny!!

because your bosses will not give you dose meters.

they get funny looks on their faces when I say that.

I like it! I'll have to try that one next time I go through a BKSX airport.

I always say, "I'd rather get felt up," and I've never had a problem.

I never answer but use the opportunity to make a statement. I say something to the effect "all these hours standing so close to these machines.....your gambling your health this organization is telling you the truth...but what if they are wrong? Remember these are the same folks that bought the puffer machines"

"I like getting you to carry my bags" normally gets the interaction off on the right footing....

As I told the TSO last night @ SEA "If they put the radiation block in the ceiling that's supposed to be there, well, you'll glow before me, but I don't like the risks. If the shielding isn't in place, all bets are off"

When asked why I am opting out I don't say anything or just respond "really".

One tactic that I noticed during a recent opt out at JFK is that the TSA shutdown the whole line when I opted out. They made everyone else behind me wait a couple of minutes until a male assist came over. After a minute or so the TSA guy asked me if I still wanted to opt out - as if he was trying to pressure me into not opting out as comments were starting to come from the line as to what the hold up was.

If I do have a medical reason for opting out, such as when I had a fractured ankle and could not easily take off my shoes, and am asked to explain my medical condition I respond with the following:

ME: "Oh, I was not aware that you are a trained medical professional. Where did you attend medical school?"

TSA: "huh??"

ME: "lets continue to the pat down"