For some good laughs, I like to read the letters to the editor at frommers.com. This is one of my favorites:

"Traveling to Amsterdam on Northwest Airlines and visiting the Netherlands, and Belgium I learned an expensive lesson. No where was anything posted about candy not being allowed back in the U.S. Being that it was close to Easter, I purchased close to $100.00 worth of wonderful candy in Belgium. On my return trip, the stewardess announced that if anyone had any candy we had to eat it on the plane or let her dispose of it properly! Needless to say I was not the only one on the plane with candy! To this day I don't understand it as boiling the milk would certainly kill any bacteria in the candy. To make matters worse no other airline made that request. I called to complain after returning too no avail. This is just a warning to those traveling to Europe. Don't waste your money on the lovely candy, especially if you fly Northwest!!"

I have this sneaking suspision the flight attendant was making a funny.

Okay, it's the Miami thread. Years ago, after lots of talk with my 2 young sons about going to Miami, one of them finally asked me if we were going to see *Daddy's Ami* too!

A kid story:

A few years ago on an Ansett Australia (R.I.P *sob*) flight from Melbourne to Perth, and we're descending into Perth, and it is a rather sharp bank such that the plane's wing is pointing at such an angle that the houses etc are clearly visible. Little boy a few rows ahead in window seat starts shrieking at the top of his voice: "ohmygod! We're going to crash! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

In this instance, the lumberjack A320 managed to land safely, much to the kid's relief

------------------
RichardMEL, UA 1K
A Star Alliance Member.

A friend of mine and I were on a flight two weeks after september 11. We were talking about how aircraft navigate runways/taxiways/tarmacs/etc. One of his final responses to what I said was, "yeah, but without it, the plane might crash into a building."

(It made sense in context, but I can't imagine what it was like to overhear part of what he said.)

This is the same guy that shouted "watch out for anthrax!" at me when I walked to check my mailbox last week. He didn't see the USPS truck and mail worker that was standing nearby. I explained to the USPS employee (who recognized me) that it was only a joke and that he didn't know what he was talking about. Fun stuff.

*sigh*

Different strokes for different folks. I quite frankly don't give a **** about the food, and quite often, just tell them to forget it. As for the alcohol that's often offered to me, I usually turn it down and just get lots of water so that I stay hydrated.

But if you want to fly for the food, it's your choice and feel free to do so. It's never been a consideration for me, but you're certainly entitled to your own choices.

Oh, they're just pissed off that we won't let them become our 51st state.

About 10 years ago I was flying on MX with my then 5 yr old brother MEX-JFK. The cabin was a bit cool and lil'bro asked if I could get a blanket. I asked a FA and he said he'd check if they had any on board. He came back a few minutes later and apologized that they didn't have any because it was a morning flight, but "if you want you can come back in the afternoon and we should have blankets then."

And on the Miami subject- I'm told by my parents that at the mature age of 2 I once corrected someone and informed them that it was my mother's ami. I suspect that this must happen quite often with children. (I'll admit I'm relieved to hear that I wasn't the only silly child.)

Surely I am not the only fan of "Five Women I Love: Bob Hope's Vietnam Story"?

As I child growing up in South Africa in the late '60s (I was four) I flew for the first time; JNB-Port Elizabeth. We stopped in Kimberley (the diamond city) and after take off from there I was seated at the window - (as I still do). I then apparently asked quite loudly (Also as I still do!) "Daddy, if the houses get small, do we also get small?"

Not necessarily a silly question I maintain!!

You'll be the 11th province soon enough...

Okay. Dumn American story: Coming back from NYC to Toronto, the guy in front of me was having a hard time at customs & immigration. He was waving his driver's license around saying "I have a US driver's licence - that PROVES I'm an American citizen"

The customs agent replied, quite calmly, "No sir, it just proves you can drive"

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone with a license knew how to drive!

If only that were true, my friend, if only that were true.

Believe me, I've seen my share of ugly Americans, like the guy who was *****ing about the fact that he couldn't find a McDonald's in the Auckland airport. I'm like, look, bonehead, you're literally on the other side of the world, so shut up and deal. Just because I have a passport with the same cover as you doesn't mean I want to hear your nonsense!

Hey, easy on the guy looking for a McDs.

I too look for these wherever I go. Aside from the fact that it is like comfort food before or after an uncomfortable flight (US to Auckland), one can be assured of a bathroom with American standards which includes, usually, not only seat protectors, but a certain level of standardized cleanliness.

Instead of searching around and even playing hit and miss games, it is just nice sometimes to look up and see a McDs sign - kind of like a bat beacon. Two years ago, in the unbelieveable filth that could be Northern Ireland's public restrooms, finding a McDonald's was like a godsend.

Then, in Asia, during the attacks, first thing I did was go to a McDs, for a taste of home, when I knew I couldn't get back right away. It helped immensely!

As a fellow red-blooded American, I totally understand and would have been sympathetic to that guy. I do, however, realize that some of you out there actually, heart be still, don't like McDs! So, I guess you don't like Apple Pie or 4th of July either.

The men's rooms at few of the McD's around Hartford/New Haven don't exactly set world-class standards for cleanliness, I'm afraid.

Rarely find much comfort at McD's ... but after surviving a vicious bout of stomach flu followed by a four-hour white-knuckle, middle-of-the-night ride through the Costa Rica countryside, I concluded a Pizza Hut in San Jose was nirvana with neon.