How to build a relationship with a luxury property as a frequent guest?
Mar 31, 2022, 10:28 pm
#16
Original Member
Join Date: May 1998
Location: Palo Alto, CA, USA
Posts: 3,222
I am slightly envious when I read here that folk receive upgrades or treats or special consideration above the norm. But I’m not personally sufficiently suave or practiced at palaver to seek such in any active way. I remain baffled that Le Bristol is so nice to me. Sometimes my brilliant TA can wrangle an upgrade but I don’t count on it. I am happy to pay for exactly what I want. I never am disappointed at the lack of upgrades or special treatment. But, that’s me, if such are important to others, so be it, no fault.
In my experience, TRUE luxury is delivered at the very least on one’s first visit which, for me, include, La Casa Que Canta in Zihuatanejo, Las Alamandas on the Costa Alegre of Mexico, Gravetye Manor in West Sussex, Las Ventanas al Paraiso in Cabo, Twin Farms in Vermont, San Ysidro Ranch in Montecito, Le Bristol in Paris and a few others. Such places treat first timers so very well and gracefully. There is, for me at least, no expectation of more. It’s all just perfect the first time.
So, there is luxury, then another level where relationships, bak-shish, etc. are not necessarily effective. A kind of égalité at the highest end. I like that.
In my experience, TRUE luxury is delivered at the very least on one’s first visit which, for me, include, La Casa Que Canta in Zihuatanejo, Las Alamandas on the Costa Alegre of Mexico, Gravetye Manor in West Sussex, Las Ventanas al Paraiso in Cabo, Twin Farms in Vermont, San Ysidro Ranch in Montecito, Le Bristol in Paris and a few others. Such places treat first timers so very well and gracefully. There is, for me at least, no expectation of more. It’s all just perfect the first time.
So, there is luxury, then another level where relationships, bak-shish, etc. are not necessarily effective. A kind of égalité at the highest end. I like that.
Apr 1, 2022, 12:16 am
#17
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Germany
Programs: Some
Posts: 11,521
I've received upgrades worth over 100k by just generously (100-200 USD) tipping the front desk manager at check-in. Is it really awful if it works?
Of course you need to apply some basic social skills to figure out if the person will be offended by this or not.
Sucks for you if you aren't willing to take advantage of these opportunities, but it's very much the norm in much of the hospitality industry. Even in fancy restaurants in Europe (and UK) bribes are the standard way to land a desirable table.
Of course you need to apply some basic social skills to figure out if the person will be offended by this or not.
Sucks for you if you aren't willing to take advantage of these opportunities, but it's very much the norm in much of the hospitality industry. Even in fancy restaurants in Europe (and UK) bribes are the standard way to land a desirable table.
This said I also think s relationship comes often automatically. Staff recognizes you, you are just friendly to them (often more worth than a 20 € note) and you simply show them you appreciate to be with them.
Apr 1, 2022, 12:36 am
#18
Original Member
Join Date: May 1998
Location: Palo Alto, CA, USA
Posts: 3,222
Yes, I have no intent of building a relationship but function as I do in the other parts of my life: try to treat others kindly although I can be awkward. It was easier when Jim was with me, everyone loved him.
Apr 1, 2022, 1:19 am
#19
Join Date: May 2009
Location: EUG
Programs: AS MVP, AA MM, HH Diamond, MR Gold
Posts: 8,220
This is interesting because I thought perhaps I haven’t been focusing on the higher ups enough. I’ll have the bartender or a server or a bellman remember me from previous stays and greet me enthusiastically because I enjoy taking the time to get to know them personally and it makes more sense to have done so versus say a GM, but that tends to get me bupkis in terms of the little touches of recognition from the property as a whole.
Apr 1, 2022, 1:36 am
#20
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Tokyo
Programs: Bonvoy LT Titanium ANA Diamond
Posts: 763
This is interesting because I thought perhaps I haven’t been focusing on the higher ups enough. I’ll have the bartender or a server or a bellman remember me from previous stays and greet me enthusiastically because I enjoy taking the time to get to know them personally and it makes more sense to have done so versus say a GM, but that tends to get me bupkis in terms of the little touches of recognition from the property as a whole.
Apr 1, 2022, 4:22 am
#21
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SYD
Programs: QF WP (OWE), VA PLAT, EY GLD, SPG PLAT, Hyatt DIA, Hilton DIA, Hertz PC
Posts: 8,527
The kind of guest you are generally results in the experience you receive. When I travel alone or with my husband we are engaging, polite and when excellent service is received I email the hotel GM referring to the particular staff member and interaction.
Hotels recognise their staff and a written compliment from a guest means they are recognised and given incentives as a bonus.
IME, as a return guest the Front Office Manager or Front Desk Staff will phone the GM to greet us on arrival. I now have relationships with the hotels we often stay in and this means they go above and beyond. At a basic level they always block the rooms or villas we prefer or know how to arrange our travel between properties without asking on each occasion (The Four Seasons’ in Egypt).
One hotel I had several hundred nights at, the GM would always invite me for drinks or afternoon teas during my stays. I knew the staff well and two, in particular, began to feel like family because I would spend most nights in the Park Lounge.
It may sound simple but a personal welcome, handwritten note (that is relevant to your relationship) or a personal farewell can truly make you feel home away from home. IMHO, the people matter as much as the property on any stay.
Hotels recognise their staff and a written compliment from a guest means they are recognised and given incentives as a bonus.
IME, as a return guest the Front Office Manager or Front Desk Staff will phone the GM to greet us on arrival. I now have relationships with the hotels we often stay in and this means they go above and beyond. At a basic level they always block the rooms or villas we prefer or know how to arrange our travel between properties without asking on each occasion (The Four Seasons’ in Egypt).
One hotel I had several hundred nights at, the GM would always invite me for drinks or afternoon teas during my stays. I knew the staff well and two, in particular, began to feel like family because I would spend most nights in the Park Lounge.
It may sound simple but a personal welcome, handwritten note (that is relevant to your relationship) or a personal farewell can truly make you feel home away from home. IMHO, the people matter as much as the property on any stay.
Apr 1, 2022, 7:01 am
#22
Join Date: Feb 2003
Programs: UA1K, *G & Wife of UA1K MM
Posts: 3,431
The kind of guest you are generally results in the experience you receive. When I travel alone or with my husband we are engaging, polite and when excellent service is received I email the hotel GM referring to the particular staff member and interaction.
Hotels recognise their staff and a written compliment from a guest means they are recognised and given incentives as a bonus.
IME, as a return guest the Front Office Manager or Front Desk Staff will phone the GM to greet us on arrival. I now have relationships with the hotels we often stay in and this means they go above and beyond. At a basic level they always block the rooms or villas we prefer or know how to arrange our travel between properties without asking on each occasion (The Four Seasons’ in Egypt).
One hotel I had several hundred nights at, the GM would always invite me for drinks or afternoon teas during my stays. I knew the staff well and two, in particular, began to feel like family because I would spend most nights in the Park Lounge.
It may sound simple but a personal welcome, handwritten note (that is relevant to your relationship) or a personal farewell can truly make you feel home away from home. IMHO, the people matter as much as the property on any stay.
Hotels recognise their staff and a written compliment from a guest means they are recognised and given incentives as a bonus.
IME, as a return guest the Front Office Manager or Front Desk Staff will phone the GM to greet us on arrival. I now have relationships with the hotels we often stay in and this means they go above and beyond. At a basic level they always block the rooms or villas we prefer or know how to arrange our travel between properties without asking on each occasion (The Four Seasons’ in Egypt).
One hotel I had several hundred nights at, the GM would always invite me for drinks or afternoon teas during my stays. I knew the staff well and two, in particular, began to feel like family because I would spend most nights in the Park Lounge.
It may sound simple but a personal welcome, handwritten note (that is relevant to your relationship) or a personal farewell can truly make you feel home away from home. IMHO, the people matter as much as the property on any stay.
Apr 1, 2022, 7:30 am
#23
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Parts Unknown
Posts: 10,053
It’s been mentioned on this forum that building a relationship with a luxury property can take experiences to the next level, turning great service into exemplary. And indeed I’ve had acquaintances tell me that they always stay at such-and-such luxury property because after x number of stays (typically mid single-digits), they are immediately recognized and get treated like VIPs.
I’ve had no such luck. There are multiple luxury properties I’ve frequented 15-20+ times, and at pretty much all of them I’m still asked if it’s “my first time on property” upon check-in (even though I use the same profile every time and this is easily checked in the system). I tip well for my stays (minimum of $20 to anyone providing me any service no matter how brief, leaving a 10-15% of total bill additional tip at the end of my stay to be pooled). That said, I don’t seek out or hobnob with the GM during my vacations, preferring to keep my attention on my loved ones.
Clearly there’s a gap here where I’m not “getting through” to these properties to be viewed as a VIP guest deserving more than baseline treatment.
Any tips/tricks? Do I need to be having the property host an event specific to me (banquet, conference, etc.) that gets me on their radar?
I’ve had no such luck. There are multiple luxury properties I’ve frequented 15-20+ times, and at pretty much all of them I’m still asked if it’s “my first time on property” upon check-in (even though I use the same profile every time and this is easily checked in the system). I tip well for my stays (minimum of $20 to anyone providing me any service no matter how brief, leaving a 10-15% of total bill additional tip at the end of my stay to be pooled). That said, I don’t seek out or hobnob with the GM during my vacations, preferring to keep my attention on my loved ones.
Clearly there’s a gap here where I’m not “getting through” to these properties to be viewed as a VIP guest deserving more than baseline treatment.
Any tips/tricks? Do I need to be having the property host an event specific to me (banquet, conference, etc.) that gets me on their radar?
Apr 1, 2022, 10:38 am
#24
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: London
Programs: FSPP | Virtuoso | MO Fan Club
Posts: 22
Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily attempt this in Japan. You have to read the room.
If you're already both smiling and laughing, it's hard to go wrong here. If the recipient doesn't want the money, there's no need to let the situation turn awkward. Just laugh about it.
I suspect I might have a slight cultural advantage here, coming from an Eastern European country where bribes are or at least were commonplace. It's very easy for me to be casual about this, but it's a skill anyone can learn.
Necessary? Surely not. Vastly more convenient? Yeah.
Apr 1, 2022, 2:09 pm
#25
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,007
Thanking hotel staff is an art form. If you don’t have it perfected, the least you can do is not make it look like a “bribe”. I like bringing gifts for my friends & family when I visit them. Same goes for certain hotels that I consider my second home and where staff have become like family 
Apr 1, 2022, 2:20 pm
#26
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Germany
Programs: Some
Posts: 11,521
It's the difference between having to go by the public availability and book your table a weeks or a month ahead and being able to just grab a table for the same night whenever you want it. Almost all popular restaurants are like this, I'm not sure I've yet encountered one that wasn't.
Necessary? Surely not. Vastly more convenient? Yeah.
Well, there are also restaurants I'm not treated like other guests, as I dine there since I'm a little child. I also can imagine in some extensive tipping also helps.
But we are leaving the theme of this thread. If we define relationship as getting best possible upgrades it's quite different from maximize staffs attention or the general experience.
Apr 1, 2022, 3:57 pm
#27
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SYD
Programs: QF WP (OWE), VA PLAT, EY GLD, SPG PLAT, Hyatt DIA, Hilton DIA, Hertz PC
Posts: 8,527
Some staff are like family.
One property we stay at for celebrations or key moments including engagements, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries etc. This means they have shared some of our most intimate moments. They know us well but also our family and some friends.
Others you spend so much time at you get to know people on a deeper level.
Unlike some comments above we don’t act differently because that’s disingenuous, we simply be ourselves. I would never tip at check in, it’s just not who I am.
One property we stay at for celebrations or key moments including engagements, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries etc. This means they have shared some of our most intimate moments. They know us well but also our family and some friends.
Others you spend so much time at you get to know people on a deeper level.
Unlike some comments above we don’t act differently because that’s disingenuous, we simply be ourselves. I would never tip at check in, it’s just not who I am.
Apr 1, 2022, 4:22 pm
#28
Join Date: Oct 2004
Programs: BA Gold, SPG Gold, IC Plat RA, Fairmont Plat...
Posts: 506
This is an absolutely excellent topic.
Some of the best experiences come from returning to hotels and building rapport with the team there and the repeat stays can be even better than the first and get better with time.
It’s very much dependent on the property and the staff there, a bit of luck, over communicating and not hoping that they have some incredible CRM system, and your own personality I suppose.
Some of the best experiences come from returning to hotels and building rapport with the team there and the repeat stays can be even better than the first and get better with time.
It’s very much dependent on the property and the staff there, a bit of luck, over communicating and not hoping that they have some incredible CRM system, and your own personality I suppose.
Apr 1, 2022, 4:50 pm
#29
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SYD
Programs: QF WP (OWE), VA PLAT, EY GLD, SPG PLAT, Hyatt DIA, Hilton DIA, Hertz PC
Posts: 8,527
I should add, as someone with inside knowledge of Hyatt, return guests always >>> first time guests. For loyalty programs, an elite with a previous stay will receive better treatment than one with no stay history. Hotels with no loyalty programs such as FS etc also behave this way.
Luxury Hotels tend to brief staff at the beginning of their shift on who is in house. Park Hyatts brief all teams (from housekeeping to F&B front desk) on their different level VIP guests. They are told the number of nights the guest has at that property and how many nights they have at Hyatt Hotels Worldwide.
There's also V8 which is their code for 'difficult guest.' The concept is that by providing excellent and attentive service, a high demand, or guest who complains or who has had an issue on a previous stay will avoid any difficult issues during the current stay.
Luxury Hotels tend to brief staff at the beginning of their shift on who is in house. Park Hyatts brief all teams (from housekeeping to F&B front desk) on their different level VIP guests. They are told the number of nights the guest has at that property and how many nights they have at Hyatt Hotels Worldwide.
There's also V8 which is their code for 'difficult guest.' The concept is that by providing excellent and attentive service, a high demand, or guest who complains or who has had an issue on a previous stay will avoid any difficult issues during the current stay.
Apr 2, 2022, 11:28 am
#30
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In the air
Programs: Hyatt Globalist, Bonvoy LT Plat, Hilton Gold, GHA Tit, BA Gold, Turkish Elite
Posts: 8,720
Presumably a lot of the time when this works it is because the bribe is so high that the low paid person you are approaching is inclined to risk their job and act against company policy in return for an incentive. Of course I understand that in Vegas this is part of the compensation package, but in other cultures this is the same as trying to get into events through the back door by bribing security and should be understood as such.