Danger..a long story....Wife and I returned from hols. in USA on LAX - AMS flight Saturday. Great flight with a superb group of staff. Had requested 77A and B. On outward journey confirmed we had these seats for return. Then Thursday, prior to Friday's departure from LAX I rang NW to confirm our departure. No trace of seat Assignments but were offered the other two seats in row 77. We took them. At check-in no seat assignment showing, all 4 row 77 seats assigned so were offered two in row 79. On boarding, stewardess asked if we would swap with 2 pax. who wanted to be near the rest of the family.We agreed and found ourselves in 77A and B anyway.

Landing at AMS we had 3 hours to kill before onward flight to MME. Managed to get 2 seats in E lounge and watched the fizz and soup parties until it was time to stroll down to D27 for our 14.10 departure. Because of early fog many delays were flagged and parts of Schipol was like a war zone but our flight was shown as being on time.

At D27 a F100 was at the gate and we watched the food and luggage being loaded. At 14.00 a gate change was announced. We all walked down to D22 where there was no aircraft at the gate. At 14.35 a F100 arrived and disgorged it's pax. We watched the food and our luggage being loaded again. At 15.00 it was announced that there would be a further 1 hour delay because no crew were available. I asked at the desk if the 16.00 time was boarding or take-off and was told very categorically that it was take-off so no real time to go back to he lounge. At 15.50 the main tannoy announced a further gate change. This was then overridden by the gate staff who told us to remain at D22 despite the tannoy message saying that our flight would leave from D29. At this point a crew member arrived at the gate and began talking urgently with the gate staff. We were then told that our aircraft at the gate "was broken" and a bus would soon arrive to take us to our 3rd F100 out on the tarmac. We watched the food and our luggage being unloaded. Eventually the buses came and we boarded the aircraft and yes...watched the food and our luggage being loaded. A new twist now. The aircraft had to be refuelled. This done we departed enroute for MME some 3 hours late.

At about the halfway point the pilot announced that he was having to turn back to AMS because of a computer malfunction. We landed back at AMS only to stay on the aircraft while an engineer changed the box. Then off to MME again.

As we began the descent into MME my meal tray wouldn't stay up so we had to move to 2 unoccupied seats. As we were about to land we told to put our seats in the upright position. Ours were locked in a semi-reclined state which caused some agitation among the flight attendants.

We landed ok and watched our luggage being unloaded. Well some of us did. As we sood around the carousel a member of the groundstaff called out a few names to see her about their missing luggage.

The final irony..our taxi driver had phoned the airport to check on our arrival time. Once he was told arrival imminent he arrived to find we hadn't even taken off. Second time he phoned and was told we were 10 minutes away so again arrived only to find we were still in AMS. He wasn't a happy bunny neither were lots of the pax some of whom said it would be BA from now on. A final postscript. Our taxi driver told us that the last flights from AMS to NCL and MME had both subsequently been cancelled! Cityhopper crew did their best but really this isn't good enough and it seems not to be unusual.

Exraf

Just found that phrases and word interesting. What on earth do they mean? Are they British slang? Please enlighten this curious American. Thanks!

Well, "Tannoy" goes back to around WW2 - I think it was the name of the manufacturer of some of the original PA systems used on warships, airbases and so on (and was embossed in the plastic housing of the speakers).

"Fizz and soup parties" is a new phrase to me, but knowing the KL lounges I know roughly what it means.

At least I hope so - I presume no-one ever puts the champagne and instant soup in the same glass?

No but I have always hated those little teacups and so now use the soup mugs to make my tea in. They dont fit under the hot water dispenser though so you have to decant two cups into a mug!

So any loudspeaker system is still called a tannoy in the UK. I was born way after the war and call them this!