CrispyRice

I'm going to India for the first time ever, for a work conference. As it happens, an Indian former coworker of mine has a sister who is getting married the following week, and I've been invited to the wedding. Very exciting! A little advice on two points, please.

(1) Gifts - I'm under the impression that nice jewelry would make an appropriate gift. I live in Colorado and know a jeweler who makes beautiful western-themed items by hand. We're talking Native American-style pieces, in silver with turquoise or similar stones. I'm thinking a nice necklace as a gift for the bride. Is that enough? Would I need to bring a piece for the groom as well? Is that ok?

(2) What to wear? I'm female and don't own a sari; I was going to bring basically business-wear for work and casual stuff for travel. I will have nearly a week in Mumbai (for the conference) before flying to Delhi for the wedding, and I would love an excuse to buy a sari or two. Can I have something made in that time? Should I order something online here before I go? Do I need multiple outfits - one for each of the days of the wedding? How fancy does it need to be?

Any other things I should know? I'm feeling very lucky to have been invited.

Thanks for any advice!

Darren

You ask ten people, you'll get ten answers, but fwiw my two cents.

1) Give them money. End it in a 1 or 10 (e.g., 1001 or 1010). Weddings are expensive, Indians by and large prefer gold, and, while they should appreciate anything given to them by you, the Native American style will likely be lost on them.

2) A sari is not necessary. You can wear a Western outfit or pick up a nice salwar kameez, kurta, or churidaar. Unless you have a very unusual body style, you should be fine with finding something off the rack. Indians come in all shapes and sizes and many of the outfits are good at hiding imperfections. In Mumbai, Fab India is a good place to start. There are many branches throughout the city. If you do decide to get a sari, the only thing that needs stitched is the blouse, which can be done in a few hours if needed. In any case, you can get one there and it will likely be significantly cheaper and easier than trying to find one in the U.S. Sari shopping can be difficult for a non-Indian, so I recommend taking an Indian friend if you want to know why one is twice the price of another. I also recommend asking the Indian friend to tie it. There are more sari shops in Mumbai than you can shake a stick at, but you will find many shops at Bandra, Juhu, Colaba, or Lokhanwala, or you can go to one of the better malls like Phoenix Mills in Lower Parel. Most stores are open late. Concerning the number of outfits, I would talk to a local for their advice. A lot of the ceremonies like the haldi and mehindi ceremonies are pretty casual and you might look out of place dressed to the nines. I anticipate you will be told that Western duds or a nice kurta would be appropriate for a lot of the events.

You are indeed lucky. Enjoy the wedding and your time in India.

CrispyRice

Thanks, Darren! I appreciate any help on this, lol. Money is certainly easier as a gift, but it's always a toss up to me whether it's crass or not. If it's acceptable, that would be the way to go. Great hints on the clothing and stores, thanks. You don't have to twist my arm to go shopping, so it'll be a nice excuse.

Keyser

definitely give them money....its the most common wedding gift & generally the most appreciated....

a sari is not something you would use after you came back home....also, they are extremely difficult to wear....an alternate would be to pick up a couple of indo/western outfits from one of the local designers in delhi or mumbai....that is something you can always use later as well....if you want i could give you a few names of designers where you could buy stuff off the rack or get something made in a day or so....

oliver2002

+1 on cash, Indians think anything without gold or bling is meh.

Go shopping in Mumbai and have a blast!

k2o

I echo the sentiment on cash for gift (it's not crass!) and each day of celebration warrants a gift..also have some small bills for the money dances. I also would nix the saree idea and go with kurta you can wear again for the casual events. I'd suggest a Punjabi suit aka salwar kameez, one without too much bling as you will be able to wear it to work while in India. They're super comfortable and it's fun dressing like a local. Have fun and take lots of pictures!

Darren

As the others said, it's not crass. Weddings are typically very expensive relative to the average income, and it helps offset the costs. Also, most houses are small and there's not much room for storage. And joint families are common, limiting the amount of extra room.

TxPepper

One thing, the day of the wedding, the bride's dress will be red so I would suggest avoiding that color for your clothes especially if you decide to wear a sari. And no white, that is the color worn to Hindu funerals. Bright colors are the order of the day.

Me, I loved wearing a sari to the Indian weddings I've attended. Made me feel very elegant. But alas, they hang in the closet awaiting the next wedding invitation. As most weddings are multi-day events, you could wear a sari for the actual wedding and your western clothes for the other events. I think you will love looking back at your photos and seeing yourself all dressed up and "participating in the process".

Yes, money is more than appropriate as a gift. If the jewelry not 18K gold (or higher content) then don't bother. . Also, if this is any sort of "society" wedding, the bling will be blinding.

So have fun shopping over there! You can purchase a sari for not too much money...especially if you go for a fabric that has a nice gold or silver print (to help create a nice rich look) rather than having hand embellishing. Also, you can find some inexpensive, pretty sandals to wear with your Indian-style clothes...which seems to be the typical footwear.

Go on Youtube and look up how to wrap a sari to get used to the idea. Above all, have fun!!!!

vernonc

Since I am originally from India, money is the most appreciated gift :-) given that Indian weddings are elaborate and expensive multi-day affairs. However, other cool gifts like jewellery will also be appreciated. As others have noted, Indians are fixated with gold, specifically 24 crt which is hard to get in NA. As for dressing, things have got very modern so western attire is fine. I would also recommend a salwar/kurta as they are easy to wear and you can get some very nice stuff. A novice wearing a saree can result in a wardrobe malfunction plus the practical difficulties of dancing in a sari. You will need multiple outfits like a bollywood production, one for each day. Think business casual for the pre wedding events and a very dress kurta for the main wedding. Indians also eat very late at weddings, typically it is the last thing they do at a wedding after all the drinking/dancing (assuming they serve alcohol in which case it will likely be open bar), so you may want to eat a snack before going. If the wedding is at a banquet hall, noise regulations means that it will wind up at 11-12pm for the reception. In a hotel, they could go later. Depending on the wedding, in a banquet hall there could be upwards of 500 guest - I believe we had 650 at our wedding and that is not unusual. If in a swanky hotel it will be a more manageable 100-200. Other posters advice above are all good too. Practice your bollywood dance moves and have fun.

CrispyRice

Thank you everyone!! Great advice all around. Cash it will be for the gift. I will bring a casual-businessy outfit or two and do some shopping for a salwar or kurta or two.

I don't have any word yet on where the wedding is or how big, but I do have the impression that the family is quite well-off, and I know this wedding has been "in the works" for at least a couple years. So, it may be quite the party. You can bet I'll have my camera. ^