tmorse6570

I'm not sure I'd call it hate and it usually pales in comparison to what people of color have to face, but every now and again even at our age it seems to still happen. We were at California Adventure waiting to board the ferris wheel. It was rather busy and the cast member asked us if we would be good with sharing a gondola with others. We're like sure fine. Well, the forty-something white guy with a young boy in front of us absolutely refused to get on with us. It was very obvious. We ended up sharing a gondola with a very nice older couple from Mexico. It seemed like they hadn't been to the area before and the wife couldn't speak English, but the husband had lots of questions about Los Angeles and we had a fun time explaining the best things to see.

I can't even imagine what it must be like to be of color and have to deal with stuff every single day.

carlosdca

Are you serious?
How is this hate?

Have you considered alternate explanations of why they didn't want to ride with you?
easiest: there's a pandemic. They just didn't want to share the ride with anybody.
There are a dozen more.
​​​​

And did you disclose to them that you were gay? Otherwise how would they know you are gay?

tmorse6570

Hate is probably too strong a word. Your other comment is naive. People with their eyes open with half a brain know. It's whether they care or not. To this guy, it mattered. The cast member noticed it too and I thought she handled it very smoothly.

BTW, he and the boy got on another gondola with two other people and I'm glad we didn't have to spend the whole ride feeling uncomfortable.

carlosdca

Gay hate is based on ignorance and wrong assumptions.

Then, here you are judging a man and profiling him as a "gay hater" based 100% on your assumptions and what you think was on the man's mind.
You are also refusing to consider alternate explanations to what happened.
But then you don't want to be judged or profiled. Double standard much?

Unless you are a mind reader, nobody knows why they did not want to ride with you.
This is not a gay hate experience by any means as you have described it, IMO

I have a completely opposing view as to whether "people know". I don't think people know (unless you are parading with your rainbow pompons singing I am what I am). Don't tell me I am naive, please. We just have different opinions.

tmorse6570

I think I agreed that hate was the wrong word to use. It's more like uncomfortable situations.

You sound like my neighbor when it comes to the "people know" part. They're our best friends and for some reason we were recalling things that happened and he has this confused face and says "But how is that possible? You guys look so straight". Most people can figure it out pretty fast if they even care to think about it.

I was referring to situations like when hotels used to refuse to let two men book a room with one bed. Stuff like that. Or when the Cayman Islands wouldn't let our gay cruise ship dock in the early 90's.

kelvinj

I'm not quite sure what you were trying to accomplish with this additional information, but I think you would have done well to omit it.

tmorse6570

Because if you're a Jew or a white gay guy like myself who can pass as straight, you can walk out of your house and not have to deal with things most of the time. There's never a time when you can hide the fact that you're a person of color.

carlosdca

You are contradicting yourself.
First you said "people know", therefore you experienced "gay hate" at Disney.
But now you are saying that you can pass as a straight, so people would NOT know.
So which one is it?

You don't need to feel pity for anybody that can't hide what they are. "I can't even imagine what it must be...!"
No need to imagine anything.
We (latinos, black men, flamboyant queens, etc.) are fine. Thanks.

JMorgana

Possibly, but in all fairness you don't get to decide what other people should and shouldn't be comfortable with, if that was in fact the issue. They didn't say anything to you that would clarify the situation one way or the other and you said that the cast member was professional about simply putting them elsewhere and switching who would be in the gondola with you.

tmorse6570

Now that I think about it, I don't pass as straight when I'm with my partner. But wanting to pass now makes me homophobic. I must be a horrible person.

Glad to hear that everyone is fine.

carlosdca

make up your mind gurl
and does being with your partner make you bat your eye lashes rapidly or make you drink your coffee with your pinky out?
Or two men hanging out looks gay? what about brothers, co-workers?

kelvinj

Exactly!

tmorse6570

Since everyone is fine, I've decided to take down that silly BLM flag. What was I thinking?

tmorse6570

Now you're insulting me by not using my preferred pronoun which is he.

jamesteroh

Sounds like the guy was homophobic if he was willing to get in another boat with others. If they would have refused to ride with anyone else then I would have said it was probably because of the pandemic or they wanted their own boat. I'm sure if they would have refused to get in a boat with a black couple or any couple of another race but then got in a boat with people of their own race, most people would consider them to be racist.

Glad it worked out in the end and you got to have some fun with the couple you shared the boat with.