On some sectors they even have cup noodles of decent quality on board - nobody ever seems to order them, but they are there...and are not too bad...!

Only on some routes. A lot don't have it and it is slow.

Good enough for messaging and email. What more do you need on a plane?

I'd say about 90% of the bandwidth is taken up by first time wi-fi users taking a picture of their seat area, or more likely, the J bar on the A380, saying "HEY GUESS WHERE I AM"

Yes, the cognac was Hennessy VS, in a little glass bottle. I was sort of wishing I hadn't taken it, because I had had quite a few little bottles of wine previously, but it was good.

Concerning stations of origin where the food is poor, I had no idea about South America. I had always found Hong Kong to be particularly bad, until I took a flight this year on KLM in J and found the catering to be excellent (but I think KLM have their own catering setup in Hong Kong).

I do that every time when in J on an A380 and am not ashamed

Doesn't everyone? ^

Despite all of this, the internet speed onboard Kuwait Airways is the same as Emirates (I couldn't feel any differences)

m3red wins the internet. ft101 and stargold get an honorary mention.
Well, then it's consistent with the fact that 90% of bandwidth worldwide is used for selfies, cat videos, movie trailers and p0rn.

I sort of knew that instinctively, somehow! Nothing wrong with taking a shot of the nice seat you are in! Some airlines can be a bit funny about picture taking, but Emirates seems totally cool about it. But I was discreet enough that probably nobody noticed.

One criticism of the ice system, however: in the classical audio sections it did not seem to be possible (or easy) to access performer details (eg orchestra, conductor, soloist). That may be because I didn't play around with it sufficiently to find out (I feared getting cut off in the middle of a lengthy movement if I fiddled around with it. That would be terrible in the middle of a Schoenberg concerto, wouldn't it? )

I wish some other first timers would post their experiences here.

I'm pleased the OP was happy - I think EK is great in the air as well certainly in J and F although the J seats need a revamp on the 777 as they are too small and not flat enough.

On the ground and the customer service they are quite frankly stoneage. I'm not sure many other airlines are much better but in the UK I think the consumer protection laws assist in fairer outcomes for customers.

They seemed pretty decent at D�sseldorf, welcoming and friendly. I find that can be quite rare at check in these days. The gate agent at DUS who scanned the boarding passes was too. And being greeted by a senior cc member upon boarding the aircraft was a real hark back to the old days. Often, when I board an American carrier, I wonder why I bothered booking a flight with them. It can be frankly terrible.

I will experience ground handling at Dubai airport tomorrow. I will be checking in at the airport without doing it online, but I managed to select seats. That's another thing: I'm amazed that I was able to do that for free. Most airlines charge you for that now.

You should check in online and go to the baggage drop and collect bp's or you may be in a large queue.

Actually EK will even provide the camera (FA inform the Polaroid cam is on all flights) to take a photo for you if you wish.

Ladies and Gents! I present the first criticism of ICE!!

Alas... not the flights from GIG.....

I know this is a bit mean of me (apologies), but I do get a slight kick out of watching seat mates look at my cup noodles then asking the FA if they can have the same

On one of the last flight I took, the FA told me I created a problem for them when many customers were asking to have the cup noodle...