How much would YOU tip?
 

11.45am on a weekday (lunchtime) - big city downtown. Very good and popular restaurant & bar. We just want drinks. Walk into the busy bar and find there are two empty tables, both set for meal service. We sit at the table and the waitress comes over with menus; we tell her that actually we just want to order drinks. She says fine, and is very pleasant, refilling the free potato chips twice while our table drinks two beers, a white wine and a Coke. We are just killing time til we need to leave for the airport, so we're not in any rush.

My companions want to pay the bill (as they should really as we've been splitting dinner bills all weekend and since I'm pregnant I've not been drinking anything while they've been ordering bottles of wine). The bill is $25 total. It is now 1.00pm.

They carefully count out $4.00 as the tip, $1 per drink. I pull out a $10 and add it to the pile - in my mind, we've taken a table that probably would have been occupied by four lunch-eating folks at around $15 each, and she could have made a lot more money if we hadn't been taking that table up for our time-killing session. My companions are truly shocked by this idea and don't get it. We spent a long time in the club at the airport debating tipping amounts afterwards. Notable points: I used to work for tips, none of them have ever had a service industry job, and they are all British.

I'd watched them give excellent waitstaff abysmal tips (~10%) all weekend (on their Amex Platinum cards, no less). They argued that they are very nice to their servers all the time (which they are), and therefore did not feel the need to tip "excessively," as they felt that the waitstaff would appreciate being treated well more than they would appreciate a few extra dollars. I argued that it was best to treat your waitstaff very well and still give them a decent tip (for me usually around 17-22%, unless they were bad) because all the niceties and smiles in the world don't pay the rent.

So, here's my question: what would you do in this situation? What is normal, correct, whatever you want to call it? Is $4 acceptable?

I'm with you...I think the minimum given that you are taking up a (what could be) a busy lunch table and the fact that despite you did not order lunch your chips were replenished (no obligation there on her part) was $10. To count out $1 per drink...thats laughable.

Even more laughable is the assumption that to be "nice" to her was more desirable that the extra bucks...EL CHEAPOS!!!!!

Obviously, the last poster doesn't know tipping tradition in the UK :-P

You were right with the 10$ tip. I'm not sure if I would have done the same, but I probably would have been considerate enough to not hog a table for 1+ hour at lunch/rush hour, and would prob. have sit at the bar if it was available.

JP

There wasn't any space at the bar, and even if there way everyone on the bar was eating too, so the problem still would have been the same.

I don't think we were particularly inconsiderate to take the table in light of the fact that we did (eventually) tip the waitress quite well - she was very busy and we were very low maintenance. If it was a mom-and-pop place where every food sale really counted towards the bottom line, I wouldn't have stayed at the table, but this place wasn't going to go out of business because we didn't order sandwiches

If the bar is busy, I wouldn't feel bad about tipping $1-$2 per drink. I would probably have tipped $5, but $10 total isn't totally out of line. If there was really a problem with you using the table, I think the server would have mentioned it when you notified them about drinks only.

I absolutely agree with you... I would have done the same thing in NYC. But as a European living in NYC, I know it is kind of tough to adjust my tipping behavior when I cross the Atlantic. Such a large tip would not be understood in most Paris or London bars. But then again, in Paris or London you probably have been told you could not sit at the table because that was the rule...

I disagree. While leaving a $4 tip is a little chintzy, leaving a $14 tip on a $25 bill is excessive. The whole "I took a table that could have been used by someone dining" argument makes no sense. The fact of the matter is....you sat where it was appropriate after asking. If there was a specific requirement to order lunch then you shouldn't be seated in that area.
I realize that waiters/waitresses survive on tips...but using your reasoning, the next time that you order a $4 cup of coffee at Starbucks, you should throw a $3 tip in the jar at the counter, because you didn't order a muffin as well to drive up the cost.
I would have left at least $5, and as much as $7. A 28% tip should cover the cost of bringing over drinks.

Which country were you in?

SmilingBoy.

USA - Chicago to be exact.

Then you were fine... And you've worked in that field so you understand the situation. Like I said, I personally prob. wouldn't have given as much but that's just me.

I seldom ever sit at a table as I travel by myself about 95% of the time.

I also walk out of a restaurant if they don't have a bar where they also serve food [Happened to me one time in Houston at Macaroni Grill - no bar... I left]

JP

You did the correct thing.

In the US I just leave $1 per $5 of the bill. If I do take up the table for an excessive amount of time, I factor time into the tip too.

I never understood people who use the tip line to get an even dollar amount for their total. What kind of a tip is $2.13? Adding whole dollars is much easier math.

I'm no bleeding heart.

$4.

If their was a disclaimer on the bottom of the menu ie, minimum charge to be seated is $$$...

But since there was no notation, the $4. tip was appropriate.


By the way, I would never go out to eat with your cheapie biz associates.

I half agree and half disagree with my esteemed colleague
Dan - I'd have done largely as you did, and then I'd get rid of
those associates if I could.

Not to devolve into a Starbucks tipping thread, but I rarely tip at Starbucks. The fact that I'm paying $5 for my coffee is giving even a part time employee good benefits, especially medical. Waitresses don't get the same benefits.

I wouldn't have left quite as much as you ElkeNorEast, but I would have left probably twice what your associates did. Between $7-$10 as a courtesy for taking a four-top away from that waitress who would have otherwise had a check that was at least twice (and probably more) what yours was otherwise.

All I had to throw down was a tenner, so that's what I did. I am not saying "give 50% tips as a rule." It's what I could do.

I was SO SICK of watching these people be so freakin' cheap when they have a huge house and three cars and take luxury vacations for frivolous reasons, but just didn't understand the concept that the money they left on the table actually makes a difference to this person's life. They've been living in the US for 12 years, so they should have figured this stuff out by now.

They are very cheap.

You are very generous.

Their $4 barely covered the potato chips they ate.

(And the part about them splitting the bill while you can't drink and they ordered bottles of wine.....rude, rude, rude. Next time, point out to them that you aren't drinking.)

This is how the 'rich' get richer. Trust me, they aren't rich in what matters.

Best of luck with the baby!

Were these people your friends, or?

They are friends; my husband works with the other guy. They're lovely people, but clueless about many things - I don't know if they just don't THINK, or if they are super cheap.

The wife is Scottish, so I'm thinking it's just ingrained frugality :(

excessive guilt makes people do strange things
 

Perhaps they have "a huge house and three cars and take luxury vacations...." because they dont tip like you do.

BTW do you have "a huge house and three cars and take luxury vacations...." after all giving all those $10+ tips to the luncheon waitresses?

MisterNice

Ha! Actually, we're in basically the same financial shape; we have different priorities and spend our money in different ways. I would wager that my husband and I actually have (probably quite) a bit more in savings and investments, whereas they have more stuff. The wife doesn't work (I do), and spends her time working out and playing tennis at their club, and is a bit more susceptible to the "keeping up with the Joneses" syndrome than we are.

I love them to bits, really, they're our best friends, but they're just cheap :(

I think you're a generous person who has also worked in the industry so if you feel good about leaving that tip that's all that matters. :)

I probably would have pulled two of those dollar bills off the table (shaking the moths off first), to retrieve a little bit of what you were chipping in for your friends' alcohol, and also to have some tipping money handy, since you'll need it while traveling in that group. :D

Let's see: 5 lunches a week, 52 weeks a year, $10 tip per lunch = $2,600 per year.

Mister Nice: are you suggesting that somehow $2,600 a year is going to make the difference between having a huge house, three cars, and taking luxury vacation; or renting a studio, driving a Yugo, and spending two weeks a year in the park feeding pigeons? :D

My observations are the big tippers tip big all day long..........not just at a beer and potato chip luncheon. Lets see, $10 tip for the chambermaid, $10 tip for the breakfast server, $10 tip for the FD clerk, $10 tip for the hotel shuttle guy, $10 tip for the AM coffee server, .......lunch tip already mentioned...., $10 tip for the PM coffee guy etc etc ad nauseum (and the day is only half over). Now do you get the picture?

MisterNice

I do have at least two brothers-in-law who fall into that category. They're generous guys all around and they still manage to do quite well for themselves. ;)

Not really. Anyone who tips like that is obviously loaded: a $10 tip to them is like a $1 tip to me; and I can sure afford to tip $1 in all the situations you refer to above all day long. People tip what they can afford....end of story.

Soooo....I respectfully disagree with your cheap-tipping ways, and your repetitive assertions that big tippers "suffer from excessive guilt."

I guess that is why we each live on a different island <hee hee>. Furthermore I contend the pigeon feeders you previously mentioned also fall into the arena of possessing excessive guilt etc. I believe those driving Yugos have much more serious problems as do the motorists directly in back of them on the traffic laden Honopiialani highway in the afternoon rush hour <cough> <cough>.

MisterNice

I love these tipping threads! They have alot more pizazz to them than the threads on capital punishment or abortion that end up in OMNI. :D ^

Not true. Had we eaten lunch, the tip would have been roughly the same. It wasn't that I'm a "big tipper," it was the fact that I felt it was unfair to sit at a table that, had we not sat there, would most likely have been occupied by others who would have ordered / paid more, and would have resulted in a larger tip for her. Did I feel "guilt?" Yes, I did. Do I normally? No way!

I tip in proportion to the bill unless there is an overwhelming reason why I should tip more - or less. I tip a couple of dollars to store my bag, a couple of dollars when I park and a couple when I retrieve my car.

On a slight tangent, having worked as a valet parking manager at a large hotel I learned that people rarely tip when parking their cars, but usually tip when they take the car out, and it's harder to get the valets to work the evening shift because of it. Why should they run their butts off to park your car when the morning guy is gonna get the tip? Therefore, I tip in and out - try it and see how happy the valet is, and he might just park your car in a better place so it's more quickly retrieved later.

Sp.

Honoapiilani ;)

If you want the kama'aina discount, ya gotta know how to spell it. :p

Thanks. I understand much more now. As for me I decided long ago I really dont care to give out my hard earned money to see "how happy the valet is". That really is not my responsibility nor my desire. All I want is my car parked safely and securely . His girlfriend or boyfriend should be doing the happy thing before and after his work shift. As for giving any gratuitous money first ie before a service is performed and doing such to influence that service, I would call that a bribe but then I am not a lawyer.

Lastly in most service jobs I have done or seen the personnel rotate the shifts, ie one does the evening shift this week, the day shift next week etc so they will soon get incoming tips (ie $10 from you, $20 the really nice guy from West Maui, $1 from me etc).

MisterNice

As usual you are correct. I have cars registered in both HI and PA but it is a mess since 9/11 and the dumb DHS related state rules. When I register the PA car I gotta turn in my HI drivers license for a PA drivers license to register a car in PA. When its time to do it in HI I must turn in my PA drivers license to............ No wonder why I dont have any money left over for any generous tipping or even a ever-timely HI drivers license to get the ever diminishing kama'aina discounts.

MisterNice

Sounds to me like MisterNice might be the male counterpart of the El Cheapo friends. Don't be sitting at my table pal...you would embarrass me...

As a miserly Scot I'm kind of split on this one, I have to agree that your friends were a bit on the stingy side with the $4 tip, but seeing as you explained that you were only going to have drinks before sitting down, I can't see any obligation on your part to make up for any potential tips that may have been missed.
It is almost like saying that you had salad and a glass of house wine for lunch but left a big tip as someone else may have had a three course meal and a couple of bottles of expensive wine and thus generating a larger tip than yours.

You did the right thing in my opinion. Just b/c you told the server or restaurant that you were only going to have drinks doesn't absolve you of the obligation to be a reasonable tipper, especially when you sat for quite a while and she brought you snacks. It's one thing if I order a six dollar glass of wine at the bar and stay for ten minutes to push a dollar over; it's another if I stay for a while and the bartender is pretty attentive and brings more drinks and snacks.

I probably would have left $5 or $6.

Pocket their $4, leave the $10.

This would have been a good option as well. $10 seems like it would have been an appropriate tip, maybe the cheap tippers would have been offended had OP pocketed their ones.

I hate cheap tippers. My husband and I usually leave 20% unless it is an odd situation like the one OP described. We have a real hometown restaurant in our downtown that serves great breakfasts for about $3.00. It just seems rude to leave 20% of $6.00, so it would be an instance where we'd have no problem leaving a $3.00 or $4.00 tip.

Did anyone expense this?

I've been in a similar situation at a hotel bar where we had checked out and were killing time until we left for the airport. It became apparent that we were talking up space as people were jammed at the bar and looking for tables. I paid a "parking fee" to a waitress that I know is not earning by our loitering. I think you were generous in the situation and it appears you don't make a habit of handing out 10's to anyone who happens by.

As a frequent international traveler, bribery works tipping doesnt. I prefer the bribe.