no chain restaurants.

No soggy cereal. I eat it fast, so it still has some crunch. I actually have a friend who puts milk on his cereal and then puts it aside for about half an hour. I can't think of many things more disgusting.

No double smoked bacon. I love bacon, but hate the double smoked stuff.

Never eat at a Chinese restaurant in a small rural town...

Presumably that would not apply in small rural towns China. :D

True that. Years ago I ordered sweet and sour chicken (mistake #2) in a Chinese restaurant in Garden City, Kansas (mistake #1). There were dill pickle slices in it...on purpose.

Well, it would be worse if they fell in by accident! :D

These restaurants cater to the local population which is typically NOT Chinese. You can always get authentic food by ordering off-book from the "secret" menu :)

In 2004 I drove my car from Rye, New York (Just outside New York City) to Tempe, Arizona. I was in the middle of Iowa and after arriving in the town of Mt. Vernon (Population: 3,808) I saw a Chinese restaurant and decided some Mongolian Beef would hit the spot.

Suffice it to say, I wish I'd known your advice then :(

Well, that is certainly true in my small rural town, but this place in tiny Reedsport, OR is the best I've had in the US since the Coral Reef in Sacramento closed many years ago.

An exception is often at the small towns in the desert west and southwest that were originally 19th century watering stops for the construction of cross-country railroads. A large number of Chinese did the brutal construction work on those routes and many were able to quietly stay in many of those small towns and passed the family business along.

Another exception might be Peru.

If it is cooked and served hot I will try it, at least once.

1. the two most terrifying words in english are "sushi buffet."
2. the quality of food at a restaurant is inversely proportional to the percentage of patrons who are young white people.
3. bacon does not make it better, and it must certainly be disclosed as an ingredient.
4. soy sauce is disgusting.
5. raisins and nuts should never be baked inside of another food, like cookies or bread.
6. sopapillas and kimchi go with anything. except, perhaps, with each other.
7. salt is a cooking aid. it has no business on the table.
8. when i order sushi, please respect my request for no wasabi/horseradish. it overwhelms the taste of everything else. similarly, spicy (horseradish) mustard is not superior to, or a suitable replacement for, yellow mustard.
9. mint is evil.

You never know... a few years ago, I was in a tiny town in the Thuringia region of Germany where my great-grandfather had been the town rabbi. There are more than three times the number of people living in my apartment building than live in this town.

One night, we wandered into the "Asian" restaurant in town, not expecting much. We found a Chinese family serving excellent food. The dishes were a little different than I was used to - I grew up in NYC and we ate in Chinatown frequently - but it was surprisingly delicious. I couldn't communicate with them enough to figure out how the hell they ended up there, but it did teach me not to be so quick to judge. I was so amused, I brought the delivery menu home with me.

The best drink is the one without added sweeteners of any kind.