A former workplace canteen had tandoori soup on the menu.

Technically, should be Russian dressing, no?

Ordering a Reuben is like unto leaping from a high perch into a dark void. You know what you want, but the odds of getting it may be slim. I'll admit that given available supplies of 'kraut, the use of coleslaw may be OK.

Of course, "Club Sandwich" covers sins beyond number, with ham and turkey substituting for bacon and chicken in all too many venues (plus the addition of "American" cheese for which there are a few limited applications, but not in a Club Sandwich.

Burned by experience, I'm unlikely to order a "Monte C(h)rist(h)o"** unless I've seen one brought to another diner, and even then suspicious of potential innards. I actual saw one example which seemed to be a PB&J battered and deep fried.

** Spellings I have seen.

Another mystery dish: The "Hot Brown", often with little genetic connection with the original thereof.

Then there's "Gumbo". Don't get me started on how badly some restaurants go down that road.

"Steak au poivre" is another.

Rarely rising to mediocre: "Crab Cakes", and a once revered dish, now most often snatched from the freezer, "Deviled Crab" (in which a 1000 diners are fed from a handful of crab snatched from oceans far from the Atlantic or Gulf costs).

Latest offense against nature and tradition: Panera Bread's "Broth Bowl" a strange and unsuccessful combination, over-priced, and an embarrassment to even a modest chef in an Asian noodle joint.

Caesar Salads or justly famous for the mystery lurking for diners. Unless I've seen a cart and bowl circulating, I avoid'em.

I'm inclined to give them a pass on that one given the many variations of Russian and Thousand Island and the possible overlap.

I've only had one at a chain, Bennigan's, which came and went from our local mall in less than a year's time. As far as I know it was "authentic" although swiss may not be the official cheese of the original. It did come with a side of raspberry jam but no peanut butter.

Good or bad, I can no longer stomach one. Too fatty, too cheesy and way too sweet for my current crop of taste buds.

Whilst not food, it's still a consumable. I was at Imagery Winery in Sonoma yesterday and they had on tasting a wine they called White Burgundy. It was not White Burgundy and it was not made from Chardonnay. At least it was wine and at least it was white, but the rest was entirely fictional. Also, it was disgusting.

Perhaps we should try to define Chili.

Was the wine at least made from grapes rather than some other fruit, vegetable, honey, etc.?

I have no trouble in defining/describing the dish... (which is a simply unadorned Braised Beef, more "Anglo" than Mexican)

Traditional Version close to that sold by San Antonio's "Chili Queens" in the Mid19th Century

Ancho and other dried chiles, optimally soaked and pulped. "Ground" chiles may be substituted, and even some "Chili Powders" Amount and varieties of chiles adjusted for desired "heat", but original "Chili" seems to have been reasonably mild but with hot chiles on the side for garnish.

Cheap cuts of beef cut into small cubes.

Garlic
Cumin (brought from the Canary Islands by original San Antonians?)
Salt
Chopped onions
Water or beef stock
Masa to thicken

Assembly varies.
Tomatoes are forbidden by Papal Interdict, and the addition of Ketchup is a 3rd degree felony.

Frijoles, Pinto, Anasazi, Salvadorean (but never Kidney or Black) must be served separately.

Leave out most/all of the beef except for some suet and it's "Red Chili Gravy", TexMex enchilada sauce.

Acceptable "Anglo" garnishes include chopped raw onions, grated Cheddar, Tortilla Chips/"Tostados" or the ubiquitous "Fritos", the base for cultural icon "Frito Pie" served "in the sack". Warm corn tortillas work well when a spoon is not available

All else is extraneous, by custom, tradition and precedent to be avoided. Green Chili is from New Mexico. "White Chili"? Less said, best said!

"Chefs. Today we want you to take Caesar salad and reinvent it"
"You have 15 minutes"
"Time starts ...Now!"

BTW, we were told by an old traditional Japanese trained sushi chef that tempura wrapped in rice aka Crunch roll that served in many Japanese restaurants in the US is NOT sushi and should never be listed under sushi on the menu.

It must use high fat content beef so as to render the appropriate bowl of red layer.

A small amount of tomato sauce is needed, along with a pinch of sugar to balance the tomato.

No beans!!

But, I have gotten many arguments on that.

Beans? Beans? In chili? Yuck, puh, gag.

If the full name is "Chil con Carne", what do you have when you subtract the meat and would anyone eat that? I wouldn't. Give me beans. Plus they're good for the heart.

"Cheap beef" is usually fatty, although when using the beef from fresh-killed un-fattened "Corrientes" (range cattle), a large dollop of kidney fat comes in handy for browning.

Tomato sauce? I've seen growed men judging chili-cookoffs fall on the ground, seized by fits, chewing thorny brushado, and frothing at the mouth, having discovered that some novillero has throwed tomato sauce or paste in the chili. Next you'll be wanting to throw a handful of mesquite beans and a teacup of buffler gall.

The only excuses for tomatoes occurs when cooking chili in the morning and needing a Bloody Mary or for mixing Sangrita (Orange Juice, Tomato Juice, Lime Juice, Salt, Chile Pequin) to chase good Tequila or bad Mescal.

Yet Wick Fowler managed to tie once and win once at the Terlingua Chili cook-off even after adding 8 oz. of tomato sauce to his recipe.