Restaurant manager here. Essentially what the chef requests the servers to recommend will be something that he/she got a good deal on, or something that if they don't sell it that day, will have to be thrown out soon. That's not to say it's not fresh (every city's health department has different shelf lives for various products), but if we ran sea bass on the menu the previous evening and it didn't sell as well as predicted, it might be run at a lower price the next night in order to move the product.

If you want the server's actual recommendation, ask what his/her favorite thing on the menu is AFTER having them tell you about the chef's rec or whatever it's called at that particular restaurant. If they really reiterate the chef's special, then it is likely to be very good because the server knows his/her tips ride on the suggestion often times.

Chris

I will ask specific questions (say, how spicy is x) or ask for their preference between two dishes, or ask what the difference is between two similar differences (and their preference often comes through as they talk). I frequently ask in Indian and Thai restaurants, and get steered in the right directions. I do it far less often in cuisines I am less familiar with / standard restaurants.

Me I can not, because as has been mentioned tastes are different.

I'm with this. Several friends are in the restaurant business and they actually tend to be proud and put a lot of effort into their "specials".

Of course you get taken for a ride once in a while, but rather that than let cynicism spoil the restaurant experience.

Restaurants really don't work like that. There's no screaming magic deal from a steak supplier. They're getting things from large food distribution channels. It's not like the Manager's Special part of your grocery story.

The people serving you are people. It's not like they're going to lie to your face about things. In any decent restaurant, they've eaten the food and probably dined there. Their opinions are their own. The owners don't have a lot of control about things and neither do chefs. What a server says and what the chef says are two different things. One of them is well paid, involved in many facets of the business, knows the customer really well and is immediately compensated if you're happy. The other cooks the food.

Communicating your allergy has more to do with avoiding cross contamination than menu choice. If you're in a place with a dish like that, then you've picked the wrong place to eat. No owner or kitchen who has a clue is going to have a dish like that on a menu.

Yes and no - when I worked as a restaurant manager, we would often get special pricing when our suppliers had a glut - usually on things like seasonal fruit and veg, occasionally they would send a small amount of a new product for us to try, not something we could use on the regular menu, but could create a special with it (things like a new type of cheese, a different cut of meat). Occasionally there would be a mis-delivery by the supplier, sending either an incorrect substitution (e.g. haddock instead of cod) or simply they loaded someone else's box on our delivery (so we got a box of something we wouldn't normally carry - it cost more for the supplier to collect and redeliver the mistake so they would tell us to keep and use the item). Rarely, the person doing the order would screw up and make a typo (e.g. instead of 12 dozen eggs, they entered 21 dozen, or if the order was 1 box of 24 items as the unit, someone would enter'24' as the number, and we would get 24 boxes instead [thankfully with things like this our supplier would normally catch it as being really odd, and double check!] ) so we would have to be creative in using up the item.

I once had a supplier double my usual standing order of cauliflower, because he got it at such a good rate, and wanted to pass the savings on (but rather than just give me the order at the lower price, he sent more cauliflower). I sent one of the junior cooks to go and make a batch of cauliflower cheese that we could put as a veggie special - the cook had clearly never made or eaten cauliflower cheese, but had asked someone else the basics, and mistranslated. She made what I lovingly call 'pre-school glue' (flour and water gloop) with some incredibly mild cheese - it was completely and utterly inedible! So I had to teach her how to actually make it (I didn't normally cook there myself!) After the minor blip, that day's vegetarian special of cauliflower cheese was actually delicious and a good option to order, yes, I had a glut of cauliflowers to get rid of, but they were all in excellent condition, and it was decently priced for the customer.

I worked in a restaurant whilst I was at college and each service we were told by the management what dishes we needed to push that day. We were even told to ask the diner if they were sure when they went against our suggestion. The reason for pushing a particular dish is either because it has a higher profit margin, or more likely, they have over ordered a particular item and want get rid of it

So take my advice, treat the server's recommendation with a metaphorical large pinch of salt

At nicer restaurants, especially ones that are relatively unique, AND with an experienced server, we have had good luck asking the server to build us a meal with the appetizers and entrees that best reflect what the restaurant does best.
Often something like "if someone were to only have one chance to dine here, what items reflect what this place is and what the chefs are all about?"

You see the server's eyes light up, and they ask you questions about what you like and don't like. If the server mumbles or looks confused, then we change directions and order from the menu.

We've had some really great and unique meals that way....

I had a friend in college who worked at Outback. I asked him what he said when a customer asked for a recommendation. He said "I name the most expensive thing to try and get a bigger tip"

Anybody that asks an Outback server for a recommendation deserves that.

Mrs BamaVol has been known to ask a server how spicy a dish is - on a scale of 1-10 in case the server has a strong immunity to heat.

I never ask for recommendations but I will ask for specifics
about a new dish I am interested in.

Anyone who eats at Outback deserves the terrible food they're served is probably more accurate.

My wife will always take forever looking at the menu, then when she's finally ready to order, she'll ask the waiter "is the xxx any good?" at which point myself, and both our kids will roll our eyes and just try to stifle the groan coming out of our mouths. Not once has the waiter ever said "oh no, that dish is terrible, don't order it". it drives me crazy.

I go with naming a couple of dishes I'm trying to choose between - usually I ask for further details and gauge my choice by their reaction.

I do much the same with the wine list. I choose a couple of interesting (non-obvious) wines within a certain (always low) price range and then ask the wine waiter his or her opinion, or whether something else is better. Again, I can gauge what to do by what is said in the reply - ie do they know and love wine and understand the price point, or do they just want to get me to spend more, or push some plonk which obviously will be no good.

Nope.
I tell the wait staff exactly what I want and I'm not really interesting in their opinion - there's a reason why they're on minimum wage and I'm paying for the meal.
Never let the tail wag the dog and that goes for the most supercilious maitre d down to the guy checking my coat and hat.
Now,there's no need to be rude or obnoxious about it but I like to let them know from the outset - and I particularly let them know when they try to pour my own wine for me.I'll fill my own glass when I'm ready,if you don't mind.