Who has decided what the "proper" tip amount should be?

I don't have a problem with tipping for good servicebut personally I don't see why it should be a % of the bill - why should a server in one restaurant get a huge tip because he he works in an expensive restaurant whilst another gets less for providing an equivalent service in a cheaper chain restaurant?

I had the situation on my last US holiday where a server was upset at "only" getting a $100 tip (on a $500 bill) whilst another was ecstatic at getting a mere $20 on a $60 bill - guess who actually provided the better service?

Looking at the maths of it - if the server who was upset at the $100 tip had his figures extrapolated (and I'm erring on the cautious side here as we only had 2 courses and a bottle of wine) and got that amount from each sitting at the 6 tables he served, he could easily be pocketing over $1000 in tips per shift- 5 days a week $5000 times say 48 weeks a year which comes to $240,000 in tips a year - not bad for a server - and waaaay more than a teacher or nurse or even a serviceman could possibly earn.

The contractual agreement between the employer and the operative is a matter for the employer an,d the operative, as a customer it is not my concern, nor is it any of my business.
If the service is good I may leave a tip, usually not exceeding 10% of the total bill, however if the service is bad, or the establishment automatically included a tip in the bill I will not leave anything, and indeed refuse to pay the mandatory 'optional' tip.

If a $100 tip was complained about, I'd certainly rectify that lickety split, by taking it back. I'd also have a discussion with the manager, and if not resolved, I'd certainly think about voicing my opinion on Yelp, or similar.

... and Alaska, Minnesota, Montana, Nevada (and they get health insurance), Oregon, and Washington. There are also several states where the wage is higher than the $2 or so, but lower than the state minimum - more like $4-7.

In Canada, our minimum wages are generally higher, although we do have small differences between tipped and non tipped. The lowest any server is making in Canada is $8.90 / hour. In Ontario where I live, our servers get paid $9.55 per hour. They also get their tips on top of that, meaning many of our servers are actually very well compensated. I just don't buy into the 'they rely on tips to live' argument here, when, without a single $ of tips, they are making just $58 (per 40 hour work week) than a completely untipped employee at Walmart, for example.

As a Brit, living in North America, I can tell you that I now deduct percentage points from what I would have tipped if they write in tip amounts like above, circle the 'tips not included' part, or otherwise assume I am going to stiff them (because of my accent). I also tell them why their tip is now lower than they may consider acceptable, that is, on account of their rudeness, in the hope that they stop doing it (one hapless server has done the same thing to me three times now - I do wonder when she will cotton on).

Carolyn,

Assuming you tip based on service I would assume that the waiter with the $20 tip was proving the better service since you gave a 33% tip vs the 20% tip for the other waiter.

Huh? I think you mean $100. Or perhaps, 20%.

OTOH, given costs around here and the pain in the neck that being a waiter entails, I wouldn't want to do it for minimum wage and I doubt you'd get really good staff absent tipping

Granted, not as bad as the $2.13 federal silliness.

The "don't tip on alcohol"used to be around, but I haven't heard it at all recently.

I don't drink enough (of anything) to tip differently but I've heard two conflicting things from friends who tend to do expensive bottles of wine:
* some say they'll tip the sommelier directly rather than as part of the main bill (sounds awkward.)
* some say if the wine purchase (or bar bill in general) ends up pricier than the rest of the meal, they'll tip lower on the booze (on the order of 10%?)

In the example given, absolutely, and on most cheaper/casual dining places, I'll tend to err high unless the service was both bad and I don't plan to come back (if I'm coming back, it's worth a word with the manager.)

Once you're in nicer places (for some values of "nicer" -- I realize that for some people a $100+ dinner for two isn't even a little spendy but it is for me) or for larger parties, I'll tend to watch how I'm calculating around stuff like pre-tax and rounding a bit more closely.

All true and well but even $8/hr falls short of what I feel the job is worth (provided that they do it competently) or what constitutes a livable wage. The reality is that restaurant staffing is not just a part time, interim job held by students but often a person's full time job. Tips are also shared with the kitchen staff and dish washers who are also earning min wage. (There's also the way the IRS treats such workers but that's getting way far afield).

Adding a 15-20% service charge and a big "no tipping necessary!" line to the bill would be my preferred way to go. If the service is poor, complain to the manager/owner and if nothing is done about it just don't go back.

I'm guessing the $60 bill wasn't run up at a Michelin 3-star but a more run-of-the-mill place where a 33% tip would be rather rare.

I would think that a $100 tip on a $500 bill would not be disparaged, even at one of the better restaurants. Was the $500 bill for a large party, did the waiter go really out of his/her way to accommodate you, was it supposed to cover waiter, sommelier, etc? I'm also curious as to how overtly the waiter expressed displeasure. To me that's treading on thin ice and depending on my mood the guy/gal might find themselves with even more to complain about.

If the minimum wage is not a living wage, that is a whole other topic. Having worked as a bar tender, there is nothing inherently hard about providing good customer service, and doing your job. I would say it is no harder than working as a cashier, or shelf stacker, both of which are untipped minimum wage jobs. I worked somewhere where tips were very rare (normally only seen around Christmas, or big parties). There wasn't such a thing as minimum wage at the time, but it was pretty low paying, on a par with other jobs that now are minimum wage jobs, with no tips on top.

There is no mystery about paying taxes on a tipped income - declare your income, pay tax on it. It really is that simple. I have absolutely zero sympathy for people who cannot be bothered to keep accurate records OR intentionally try to scam the system and pay less income tax. The rest of us have to keep track of our income, why is it any different?

I recognise that tipping people for doing what they are paid to do is a cultural thing in the US. But please don't bring that practice abroad.

The $60 was at Applebees - and the waitress was an absolute treasure - nothing was too much trouble for her - and she managed it without being too in our faces!

The $100 was at Keystone Lodge in Keystone CO - the displeasure was evident as he counted the 5x$20 bills left on the table for him the smile went from his face - to extent he looked quite angry! Party was 2 adults and a 15 yr old - 2 courses early in the evening as we were tired and jetlagged.... and no the service was good but not exceptional to the point where we had to keep asking for glasses of water - would have been easier to give us a jug! We didn't think it warranted more - and if Id been paying the bill, Id have left $85 max....

It's very unlikely I'd be dining in such a place where the bill for three came to $500 unless someone else was paying....it's just not my style.

The lower the bill I tend to tip more. The higher the bill I tip 10%.

I can't imagine taking a 15-year old to such a place; I've been to a few restaurants fancy enough that they're up around $150/person for the food bill these days (none recently enough to have paid that much; I think my wife and my record for the two of us was barely over $200), and while they'd be mostly wasted on me now, they'd sure as HECK have been wasted on me at 15.

(Of course, I don't drink much; I know people who can drop half that bill on a bottle of wine.)

Given that this was a ski resort, I'm wondering if this is a case of tourist traps having their own rules and expectations. In one of the other really recent tipping threads someone (Ancien Maestro?) was talking about the Disney resorts and that the on-resort restaurants had gone to a clear expectation of a 25% tip.

I'm not sure how one is supposed to know that a given tourist trap has its own rules, or if you're only visiting once for a couple days, why one should care.

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Weird tourist-trap expectations aside, 15% is still a perfectly acceptable tip anywhere normal in the US, and on a $500 bill (whether pre- or post-tax) $100 is a generous tip (over 20% if the $500 was after tax.)

I'm a good tipper and a multi-year veteran of the service industry but I can't imagine giving 25% unless service was unparallelled