Lar’ Baby’s Thursday Morning
A One-Act Play

ACT I

Scene: Continental Headquarters Bunker, 737 Feet beneath the streets of Houston

LK: Miss Hathaway, what’s on my schedule today?
MH: Breakfast at 8. Second breakfast at 9. Brunch at 10. Pre-Lunch at 11. Lunch at 12. Post-Lunch at 1. Early afternoon snack at 2. Afternoon snack at 3. Late afternoon snack at 4. Pre-dinner at 5. Dinner at 6. Post-dinner at 7. Cookies and milk at 8. Bedtime at 9.
LK: Anything else, Miss Hathaway?
MH: Oh, yes. Mr. RNE is on a flight today.
LK: He is?
MH: Yes, LK.
LK: Delay it!

Curtain

ACT II: Go to FT and report every known delayed or cancelled flight in Continental system.

bingo. what a useless post.

Oh the slings and arrows... We playwrites are so misunderstood. More's the pity.

In Houston it's a good idea for bunkers to be on high ground!

Act III:

RNE (on site): I'm trying to get home to make it to the mid-late-mid-early-afternoon snack with my wife. How delayed is my flight?

CO GA: I'm sorry sir, but that has yet to be determined.

RNE: Okay, how about a voucher for my trouble?

CO GA: Sure, how much would you like?

RNE: Well, if you don't want me to publicize this whole episode on FT, it had better be a good one.

CO GA: How about 2 free RT BF tickets anywhere you want to go. If we don't fly there, we'll put you in someone else's FC Cabin. Sound fair?

RNE: If you toss in 100,000 miles in addition to the free tix, that would probably buy my silence.

CO GA: Done.

RNE (to mrs. RNE): Hi hun. I'm going to miss our mid-late-mid-early-afternoon snack due to some sort of delay, but pack your bags. We're off to [fill in your favorite far-flung destination] thanks to threatening to report the delay on FT!

This thread reminds me that I need to update my "ignore" list. It's a great feature of FT!

amen.

The flight was 20 minutes late and it qualifies for a post?!?

Hell the 5pm DCA-EWR flight runs about 2 hours late every day....if it's not cancelled entirely.

But then again, I'm on the 5pm DCA-CLE flight and it's already showing a 6 minute delay.....could I at least get another bag of pretzels?

i wonder if the moderator wouldn't mind shutting down this silliness.

i agree with you, though jake jarmel wouldn't appreciate your punctuation.

http://www.siyumhaseinfeld.com/chars/dates/jake.html

Bzzzzzzzzt Game over player one!

Xyzzy
CO forum moderator