Dissed by a FTer!
 

Was at HNL yesterday when I noticed a guy with the yellow FT luggage tag. I always like meeting other FTers, so I went over and introduced myself (I also have the badge of honor.). He kind of rolled his eyes and said to his friend (in a friendly tone), "Ah, they're everywhere!" Told him I was mikeef and he said it had been so long he couldn't remember his screen name. Okay, how many out there are dedicated enough to have a luggage tag but don't know their screen name?

Sigh, maybe I just smelled funny.

Mike

Might be time to remove the FT tag :D

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Wow, that's ridiculous!:td: Please don't think that all (or even a reasonable number) FT'ers are like that, because I have yet to run into anyone even remotely rude (and I've met hundreds). Please don't let bad apples like that ruin it! For the most part I have found people to be nicer in person than they are on FT, even if they're nice on FT!

I'd love to know who told you that...

I feel the same. I was dissed not only by another FT'er at a DO, but a moderator of this very "Community" forum. While seated at the same table for dinner this person refused to engage in any conversation with me or another couple in spite of our efforts to engage them in conversation. We were overtly ingnored for the entire night. No more "Do's" for me.*

*Except for the excellent Ann Arbor DO's and Alanw's fabulous BCN Do's :)

OMG... how incredibly rude.

I think you should out those people.... that isn't what FT is about.

What if moderators are the guilty party?

Not my experiences, but others can testify to that.

Well, mods are ordinary members first, so I wouldn't even call attention to it.

Rude is rude, and in a small gathering to ignore, or make snide comments about the guests in almost unfathomable.

I missed that lunch & getting to see you that day.

Don't let that comment get to you -- you have plenty of fans here, many of whom have enjoyed your posts, not to mention your wonderful hospitality! :)

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. FT has a**h***s, as does any other group of several thousand people. It seems that it was your misfortune to run into some. Please don't let that sour you on the rest of us. If you happen to show up at any do I'm at, I can assure you that this guy in his 60s is more than happy to talk to women in that age group!! (That includes happily married ones; I can think of at least three I've spent a lot of pleasant time with at FT gatherings, meeting each of their husbands at least once as well. I didn't check IDs, though; they may not all be over 60.)

Just as there are bad airline employees, troubled flights, there are rude o FTers or you catch them on a bad day.

With a membership as large as FT has, statistically there is bound to be a minority of imbeciles and buffoons.
That unfortunately is the bad news, the good news is in my 2 and a half years on FT I have only run into 3 of these such members.
I just deal with it by praying they get stuck in economy with a drunk, belligerent seat mate selling life insurance and pushing religion. :eek:

In a community as large as FT, there will be all types. There is no personality test for admittance.

I make a habit at dinners of trying to introduce myself to everyone there, and say hello to those I already know. I like people.

I have had a few, very few, attendees look at me as if I were soliciting for spare change when I walk up and introduce myself. I would not want to miss out on meeting some of the incredibly interesting people in this community just because of an occasional perceived slight or someone else's social ineptness.

And as for the genuine boors, well, I just hope something happens in their life to help them have a better outlook, and maybe consequently a modicum of grace.

I haven't been to a so called "do" in four years however I have been to some small gatherings since then.. but at one of the do's (Chicago 02 I believe) I had online/thread run ins with a particular FT'er about some stuff

We each knew the other was going to be at the same do but due to the size of the participants (in excess of 100) it wasn't likely we'd have to interact.

Well night one, I'm sitting in the hotel bar and maybe 20 of us are there chatting away, I was NOT wearing my FT tag (can't recall why) but another person wearing a tag came up to me and was chatting for about five minutes when the question was asked finally asked to whom I was on FT (I had introduced my self with my real first name) and I said "TrojanHorse, nice to meet you" (yeah I had a funny grin on IIRC) and this person whose hand was about to come out to shake my hand was pulled back and this person huffed and puffed away real fast.. it was funny to me b/c I didn't like that person anyway and knew what I was doing so the rest of the trip I would just say hi and stick out my hand and wouldn't even get a response.

I'll never forget it :p

Also, do not assume that every person will be as open and friendly as you...

I, for one, am a major introvert. I have a tendency in public settings - with people I do not know - to be quiet. It does not mean I am ignoring you... it just means I am not inclinded to communicate a great deal. It is one reason I do not attend generic Do's... there seems to be an expectation that everyone will like each other and engage each other in conversation. I have a tendency to do a get together if I am in town somewhere... met some great people in NYC, LA, Sydney, and lother locations as a result.

As others have said, there are some people who will not be open or friendly. Or some who you might call other names. I know there are some on here I never even want to meet... but that does not mean I would swear off meeting people from Flyertalk because of one or two people.

William

Like mikeef, I was dissed by one too, almost the same way, except that he was alone, (standing at the lobby of a hotel wth FT luggage tag tied to his carry-on) and didn't exactly roll his eyes. A very unfriendly chap indeed. Maybe it's the same person? Or maybe that I am one little old Asian lady that's in the wrong age group? ;)

I have also met some that at the beginning seemed a bit 'quiet', giving the wrong impression that they didn't want to 'talk'. Then I found out that they were actually shy and didn't know how to start or join in a conversation. Once they've opened up, they're just as chatty as anyone else. :p

Don't let that bother or deter you from going to DOs. Most all of us are friendly and we love our fellow FTers. I have made more pals here than I can count, and a few have even become bestest personal friends forever. On my part, at least. ;)

Wow, I wasn't trying to start a complaint thread, just pop up with an amusing anecdote! :)

Seriously, I have found most FTers to be warm and open. This run-in just confused me a bit.

Mike

Sorry to hear of your experience, but I find the FTers I've met aren't like that at all. In fact, I'm eagerly anticipating LuckyCoins' SFO MegaDo next week -- the third one I'm attending, and the the 6th FT function I've been too. At all of these, there were FTers of all ages from high school students through long-retired -- all were welcome and a great time was had by all!

Dear Marysunshine,

I haven't posted on FT since March 12, but your post prompted me to log in and reply.

We have "known" each other for quite some time on these boards, and we have exchanged useful information, I think. I always appreciate your posts.

Don't worry about not attending the FT events, I don't think you are missing all that much. The last big "do" I attended was in Chicago, and that was many years ago and more than enough. Rude people are rude people, no matter what or where.

But FT should be a friendly and welcoming place, so your experience makes me mad. I get the feeling that many FT events are organized for and around a few people, and once those few people have been "satisfied," well, the rest of the "do" doesn't really matter. But you'll never hear about it here, that's for sure! That's why I enjoyed reading this thread; it's been my experience, too.

Just my two cents.

I agree. Matter of fact, I wish that I could actually meet some of the FTers that I have a less-than-great online relationship with. Likely, things would change as I've always enjoyed time with FTers.

And I do love San Francisco and the surrounding area. Alas, I'm not the one from my company attending the trade show there next week, so it'll have to be another one.

Dissed?! You!? Impossible. You're the best, any "do" graced with your presence is a fabulous "do."

Much like in high school, you have the "too cool" for you kids and then you have the normal people, which is pretty much the standard. A quick read of some of these threads would shed some light on some FTers I might avoid coming up to and speaking with at an airport.

I have had the exact opposite experience to that mentioned by several folks above -- several people who get into the most strongly worded, vituperative, debates online turn out to be delightful in person! I've only been to a few Do's (or is it "few Dew's?") but have enjoyed them all!

And remember, attitudes towards age are changing -- 60 is the new 40!

Sorry you have that opinion. I can honestly say I have never felt like that at any Do I attended, and I sure hope no one felt that way at a Do I organized (correct me if I'm wrong). I have found FT'ers for the most part to be even more interesting in person than on FT, so it's dismaying to hear this.

My thoughts exactly. I have actively sought out posters at DO's with whom my online discussions have been 'vituperative'.
I have universally found that a degree of understanding is thereby injected into the online "relationship".

I hope to be able to do more of the same. I am very sorry to hear any stories to the contrary, for those of you who've had different experiences. :(

Best, Dave

Like many others have stated, I hope you won't let that one experience color your opinion of all FT get togethers. They are all different, and most people I've encountered are quite friendly.


Did you kick their @$$? Are there photos?

bisous!

Hello there. We don't know one another, and I'm sorry if I offended you. I have never been to one of your Dos, and I take you at your word about your experiences. My opinion was mine alone, and it was directed more at a "core" of FTers that I remember from yore. But since I haven't posted since 12 March, who am I to talk? ;)

Truly, no offense was intended to you or to those who organize the FT events to actually meet new people and exchange travel ideas.

Hey: the Las Vegas and Hawai'i FT DOers are a pretty friendly bunch! Come check us out if you want to meet some nice folks!

My apologies, I was a bit strong worded and I wasn't trying to discredit your experiences.:o I wasn't talking directly about you since I believe that was your experience. I was just trying to say how disappointed I am in FT'ers like what you described.:( Please give FT another chance and attend another Do! No offense taken either.:)

Absolutely! ^

What's the point of having a FT luggage tag if you don't want to meet other FTers?
:confused:

Whenever I go to a DO and introduce myself, I tend to get the "Oh, so you're SchmutzigMSP" response. For better or worse, it always seems to happen.

(Now I'll never live that down as FT friends that know me very well will likely greet me with that each and every time... ;))

Anyway, I've had the pleasure of meeting folks I've previously sparred with on FT. At first, you might be a bit apprehensive. But I've found that the folks that actually take the time to show up to the events, by and large, are decent folks. So what if you have differing opinions on in-flight amenities or how a company is run? That's not really "who you are", at least for most folks, and meeting folks is all about learning "who they are" instead of re-hashing the airline topics de jour. You'd be surprised how mellow the two of you can become once you share a drink/meal/experience/etc.

As for the a$$hats, yep, every group has them. Every once in a while you meet one and if they're not friendly, or at least cordial, there's no point in continuing to speak with them. Find other folks at the DOs and meet new friends. There really are some truly, wonderful, caring, decent people on these forums. :)

I've hosted six FT dos, some of them as big as 60 people, and have met hundreds of other FTers one-on-one or in other groups. I don't think anyone I've met in real life has ever been rude. Socially retarded, unable to hold their liquor, boundary issues, pathological liars, and plain annoying, yes. But never rude. ;)

The vast majority are great people, and I have made some wonderful friends. There were four FTers at my wedding.

As both a do organiser, attendee and a Mod in this forum, I'm obviously a firm supporter of FT Dos. A lot of my time and effort goes into these dos. At the same time, some of the stories here don't really surprise me - as hiyo saidFT attracts a wide variety of people from all walks fo life. Just because we all share a love of flying doesn't mean we'll love each other's company. While it saddens me to hear about such incidents of rudeness, I would hope that those encountering them would understand that those are not representative of the vast majority of FT encounters. Within the scope of people who I have met on FT, there are those who are now amongst my greatest trusted friends, those whom I have laughed with and had a great time with, those who I have been bored by and those I would be quite happy if I never met again. With around 150k people on the board, I don't really expect it any other way ;) As a do organiser, I do all I can to ensure that people have a great time - but I can't force them to do it. And additionally, for those with bad experiences, remember appearances can be deceiving. Someone who is offhand could just be tired, jet-lagged, worried, or even just focussing on something else - or their social skills could just be lacking ;)

Interesting thread. With my mod hat on, I would be grateful if we didn't try to identify people too closely, since there are two sides to any story.

Thanks

Jenbel
Co-moderator, Communitybuzz!

But will you host one? ;)

So many comments above, and all have valid points.

I once met someone who had a luggage tag, but wasn't registered. :rolleyes: That was an awkward minute at SFO.

Whether you go to a DO or a small event, there will always be someone that you don't mesh with. That's just the way it is. I once attended an event (drinks only) where you were able to see the 'in crowd' vs the rejected. By in crowd I mean those that don't even bother to make a person feel comfortable. :td:
It would have taken a minute to make a stranger feel welcomed.
I mean come on. Give 'em a break.

I realize that certain groups may be more comfortable interacting with their own ie age, race, region, airline, GLBT, Flyertalk chatters ;). That's life. I find it interesting to meet new people because they're the ones that may become my 'new' FT friends.

I often wonder how many of the kids, or should I say Flyertalkers in their youth, feel about hanging around some of the oldtimers (7 years for me). And no, I didn't mean oldtimer as in 53.

MarySunshine, I'm disappointed to hear that there are jerks on Flyertalk; but did it really come as a surprise. Even when we were a community of 5-10,000, we still had a few whoppers around. Today, at close to 150,000, I think we'll have a few more.

And one more thing :D... if this person knew how much he could have learned from you, as I did, about maximizing his mileage earning potential, by taking advantage of various credit card, airline, and hotel mileage/point earning opportunities, he never would have muttered under his breath.

With age, comes wisdom. ^

Aside from borrowing luggage pieces from a member or being too lazy to remove them?

I thought it was implicit in the use of those tags that you are willing to be accosted by fellow FTers.

Just curious, Marysunshine, could there be any chance that this 'gentleman' was joking? What was your reaction after that?

Hmmm... maybe at my age, I should now be more careful mingling with the young'uns, asking them to bring us food, drinks, dessert and all... What? They walk faster. :p

Hi Belle!
You might not remember me but I met you in TLS. I think you’re really friendly and bubbly. I would not have realised you’re in the wrong age group. ;) Your hubby is lovely too! As for the unfriendly chap, it’s his loss for not furthering an acquantice with you.


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A note to some posters here, FT is very diverse. We come from different countries and cultures. English may not be the first language of some FTers - conversation might then be a problem. We also have different personalities - some more chatty, some more reserved. (I am reserved! :o) We have to bear that in mind, rather than assume that you were being ignored.

There may be the odd unpleasant character but there are more interesting and friendly people you could talk to! :)

Trying to figure out which (if any...or if all) traits I might have exhibited in BCN 04?????