Murphy Laws for Frequent Flyers
Mar 19, 2004 | 12:07 pm
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: May 2002
Location: seattle, wa.
Posts: 927
Murphy Laws for Frequent Flyers
1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.
2. If you're running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.
3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
4. Flights never leave from gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
6. If you're assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you're still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.
8. They crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
9. Guys, the best looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an a/c, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring on board.
2. If you're running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.
3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
4. Flights never leave from gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
6. If you're assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you're still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.
8. They crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
9. Guys, the best looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an a/c, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring on board.
Mar 19, 2004 | 12:12 pm
#2
Join Date: May 2001
Location: NYC & ARN
Programs: AA Plat, UA *Gold, Marriott PLT, Hyatt mid-tier whose stupid name I cannot ever recall
Posts: 1,410
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by SeaMeFly:
5. If you must work on your flight or are hung over, you will experience turbulence as soon as you take off.
9. Guys, the best looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
9a. Gals, the jerk at the gate is seated next to you.
</font>
5. If you must work on your flight or are hung over, you will experience turbulence as soon as you take off.
9. Guys, the best looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
9a. Gals, the jerk at the gate is seated next to you.
</font>
------------------
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are", Buckaroo Bonzai
[This message has been edited by SeeYa (edited Mar 19, 2004).]
Mar 19, 2004 | 12:51 pm
#3
Moderator, Hilton Honors
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: on a short leash
Programs: some
Posts: 71,445
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by SeaMeFly:
5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
</font>
5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
</font>
[This message has been edited by Kiwi Flyer (edited Mar 19, 2004).]
Mar 19, 2004 | 1:01 pm
#4
Moderator, Hilton Honors
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: on a short leash
Programs: some
Posts: 71,445
12. If there is a bomb threat/power cut/fire alarm requiring evacuation you can bet it will happen just after check in at the first airport on a day when you have at least 4 sectors ahead of you.
(Unfortunately two of these has happened to me.)
13. The day before the first flight of a complicated itinerary involving several airlines, the second carrier changes the schedule by 6 hours making the connections impossible.
14. The three days a year your local airport is closed due to weather are days you are due to fly out/in.
15. Re-routes due to weather always require an extra day of travelling - on the Monday you are supposed to be at that important meeting.
16. Changes of aircraft only results in lower classes than your booking being available.
17. The day the xray machines break down requiring manual screening is when you checked in late for your flight and there are 1000 people ahead of you in the queue.
[This message has been edited by Kiwi Flyer (edited Mar 19, 2004).]
(Unfortunately two of these has happened to me.)
13. The day before the first flight of a complicated itinerary involving several airlines, the second carrier changes the schedule by 6 hours making the connections impossible.
14. The three days a year your local airport is closed due to weather are days you are due to fly out/in.
15. Re-routes due to weather always require an extra day of travelling - on the Monday you are supposed to be at that important meeting.
16. Changes of aircraft only results in lower classes than your booking being available.
17. The day the xray machines break down requiring manual screening is when you checked in late for your flight and there are 1000 people ahead of you in the queue.
[This message has been edited by Kiwi Flyer (edited Mar 19, 2004).]
Mar 19, 2004 | 1:22 pm
#5
Senior Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: San Francisco, CA
Programs: UA Plat/2MM [23-yr. 1K, now emeritus] clawing way back to WN-A List; MR LT Titanium; HY Whateverist.
Posts: 12,458
A cute thread and I'd invite all to follow it in a much more approrpriate place -- TravelBuzz. Ocn Vw 1K - Moderator.