fastflyer

This is not common in New England and NY, which are part of America. Even among shopkeepers I know in the village center where I spend a lot of time in CT, I am Mr. <lastname>, not <firstname>.

bollar

That's great to hear, but was not my experience in Hartford today. Perhaps I was on the wrong side of the CT river?

Bart

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Javan69

America, particularly in the West, is very informal re: names. I'm a litigation attorney and lawyers all address each other by first names, even if they've never met. I use last names in written correspondence because it's permanent, but orally, it's first names. In fact, I tell younger attorneys to call me by my first name because "Mr. X" sounds stuffy. America is becoming more and more informal as it's becoming more and more diverse. I actually think that's a good thing as it further breaks down class barriers, which have been falling for decades. I don't think the OP's point of view is wrong, but perhaps not realistic.

BlueGirlGoes

Mr. Bart,

First, I need to say that I have never, anywhere in the world, met a more polite crowd (including many alcohol-fueled teenagers) than I met at Fiesta in San Antonio.

My lawyer calls me "honey" and my accountant calls me "darlin" but I would (and have) eat the still-beating heart out of any total stranger who attempts to "flatter" me in a professional setting where they (ostensibly) hold some power over me. And I was raised in Memphis ... Sugar.

LuckyStrike

Solution:

Next time they say "Thanks Cathy" say "You're welcome Bob (or a female name)" when they say "That's not my name" say "Cathy isn't my name either..... It's Ms. Jones"

Bart

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ChuckDoh

Thanks for bringing this up � it is a cause I have championed for some time but I sometimes feel like a voice in the wilderness. Of course, I come from a time when the idea of calling one�s teacher by their first name was not only unheard of, but even hearing another adult address them that way seemed strange.

Calling someone by the name printed on their boarding pass is not just presumptuous; it is also very likely to not be a name that they use at all. My legal name is a first initial and middle name, which in and of itself causes no shortage of trouble and confusion. But that aside, no one who knows me would ever call me by my middle name (Charles) either. They would not do so twice anyway. I often have TSA screeners call me "Charles" which I find grating, and have even had them some of them call me "Charlie" (shiver) which is WAY worse. A stranger calling me Mister so-and-so (a common name that is, for whatever reason, completely unpronounceable below the Mason-Dixon line) at least gives me the option of saying "please, call me Chuck." Starting with the respectful position gives the other person the option to extend the familiar. But on the upside, it provides a great shibboleth to filter out presumptuous telemarketers. "Hello, Charles?" [click]. "Hello, Charlie?" [SLAM].

It�s not just at security of course. On a recent SWA flight, the gate agent made it a point of reading the first name of every passenger out loud as they handed over their boarding pass, and would say, for example, "Welcome aboard, Mildred" to a woman old enough to be his grandmother, and who is probably used to much more respect than that. Not everyone wants to have their name announced to everyone around them and it was clear by their expressions that many more people were made uncomfortable by this than were made to feel welcome.

Crystalysis1

Bart,
I tend to agree with you regarding formality and addressing people. It is nicer to err on the side of caution in most cases. I come from a scientific background - where I was on a first name basis with my advisor UNLESS we were in a more formal setting - like a class, or an exam, or a presentation setting. Curiously enough, I've worked with quite a few PhDs who refuse to be called by the proper "Dr. So-and-so". People are interesting...